Going Nowhere (A Romantic Comedy Novella) (14 page)

There was a good chance that if I went dancing that night, I would embarrass myself. The way the week had been going, it was pretty much a given. Latching onto the short wall, I gingerly climbed into the seating area and plopped onto the bench. “Sure, I’ll go dancing with you. Why not?”

T
HE PROBLEM WITH
being on a cruise was that even if your cell phone works, you don’t want to pay the insane roaming charges. So if you get separated from your friends, there’s no way to contact them. You either have to search a huge ship and hope to get lucky, or plan ahead and pack walkie-talkies. April and I weren’t great planners, so all I could do was go back to the cabin and wait until she showed up.

She came after dinnertime. When she opened the door and saw me sitting on the bed, I swear she considered turning back around. She knew it was time to talk.

“So, April,” I said. “I hear you’ve been banging the boss.”

“I haven’t banged him.”

“I know, but I couldn’t think of a cute phrase for dating.” I stood up and stepped toward the vanity. “How about we make some shampoo cocktails and talk about it?”

April retrieved the Pantene bottle from the bathroom. It might have raised some suspicions if she kept it in the bar area above the television. “I have been spending time with Sam, but nothing too serious.”

“I never thought you had any interest in him. Why did you keep it a secret?”

She sighed and poured. “I figured you’d see right through me if I tried to give you any explanation for why I’m doing it other than the truth. So I thought it would be better if you didn’t hear anything about it. I’m surprised it took him this long to tell you.”

“What’s the truth?” I took a sip of my drink. She’d made it strong, and I was glad. I needed it right then. “What are you up to?”

“I’m doing it for you. It didn’t seem like your sucking up was having much of an effect, so I tried thinking outside the box.”

I drank the rest in one quick gulp, savoring the burn. “You started dating him to help my career?”

She nodded. “That night you saw me sneaking around, I was looking for his room. He and Max are in the same one.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” I had never even considered that, because the thought of April and Sam together was unbelievable.

“I don’t know if it’s working, but I’ve been slowly ingratiating myself to him and dropping hints about you.” She sat on her bed and held her glass between her thighs. Her head hung forward, hair shielding her face. “Coming on this cruise was my idea. I didn’t want to let you down.”

“Oh, April. You should know me better than that. I whine when things don’t go my way, sure. But I never blame you or anyone else for my shortcomings.”

“This time, though, you could have blamed me.”

“I don’t feel that way.” I got up and made myself another drink. “I am giving you permission to stop this charade immediately.”

“I don’t know if I can. How can I get out of this without risking my job?”

“You could tell him you wanted to try something new, but that you aren’t that into him after all.”

“He’ll totally fire me.” She stood up and started to pace, even though there wasn’t much room for it.

“What’s the alternative? Marry him? Anyway, he can get in big trouble for firing you because you won’t have sex with him. I don’t know if he’d risk that.”

She yanked her suitcase onto her bed and pulled out a hot pink bandage dress. “Let’s just go out and have some fun. I’ll figure out what to do with him tomorrow. Are you really wearing leather?”

I looked down at my outfit. I’d packed the leather pants because I got a great deal on them at Loehman’s Plaza the week before the cruise and I couldn’t leave them behind. Since they’d taken up extra space in my luggage, I had to find an excuse to wear them. Tonight was that excuse.

April turned her back to me and got dressed. “I can tolerate him for one more night.”

“You don’t have to do this. In fact, I’d prefer you didn’t. The whole thing makes me feel dirty.”

“I’m doing it.” She finished getting ready and we hurried out. “If you combine a dark club with copious amounts of alcohol, Sam will practically be a hunk.”

“I think it would take a lot more than that,” I said.

Max and Sam were waiting outside the entrance of the ship’s adults-only club.

Max was dressed in dark pants, probably Dockers, and a black button-down shirt. He looked effortlessly handsome. Then I noticed Sam and my face fell. He was wearing a full suit and, without looking at her, I desperately hoped that April would be able to refrain from laughing. Sure, he was trying too hard, but he was trying.

Sam hurried forward. “Nice to see you both. April, I’m so glad you could make it.”

April offered him her hand. “Thanks, Sam. Let’s do this.”

We followed them into the club. We found a round table close to the dance floor and immediately marked it as our territory. The four of us sat down, April subtly moving her chair so that it looked as though she’d come with Max and I rather than as Sam’s date. I pushed the leg of her chair with my foot, and, with a scowl, she shifted back towards Sam.

Sam was watching April expectantly. “Do you want to dan‌—‌”

“How about a drink?” April asked before he could finish.

“Sure! What’ll you have?”

“Long Island Iced Tea.”

“That’s a strong drink for a young lady,” Sam said, chuckling jovially.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Long Island Iced Tea it is!”

“Let’s dance,” Max said, pulling out my chair and dragging me away from the oh-so-happy couple.

The touch of Max’s hand on my stomach made me tingle and I let him lead me wherever he pleased. I started to dance with him, brightly colored lights twirling above. “I think I’m having an eighties flashback.”

“You’re too young to have been going to clubs during the eighties.”

“I’ve seen a lot of movies.”

We continued to dance. The dance floor was tiny and packed with people. I was jostled into Max any number of times, frequently forcing me to hold on to his waist to prevent myself from tumbling over. “Stop smiling,” I finally said.

“Why? I’m having a good time. Aren’t you?”

“Of course. I love being a human ping-pong ball.”

He tweaked my nose. “You’re the cutest ping-pong ball I’ve ever played with.”

“Thanks.”

He brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. “You don’t say much when you’re dancing. Is it too hard to think and move at the same time?”

“Very funny.” I shook my hips to a Daniel Bedingfield song, mouthing the words I knew. I met Max’s gaze again. “Little did you know, I was thinking about you.”

His expression bemused, he replied, “Then don’t let me keep you from your fantasies. Please continue.”

April danced past with Sam, grinning at me when he wasn’t looking.

“I’m thirsty,” I spit out, trying to hide from April’s evil eye. “Want to go to the bar?”

“Sure.”

We navigated the crowd and when we reached the bar, I ordered a strawberry margarita. I leaned against a barstool. “I love this music.”

He nodded noncommittally.

“I mean, I know it’s synthesized and everything, but it’s still fun to listen to, don’t you think?”

“It’s all right.”

While Max nursed a Guinness, I took long swigs of my margarita. “It’s funny how this doesn’t taste like alcohol at all.”

“That’s how you get into trouble,” he said, watching my drink slowly disappear. “Be careful not to go past your limit.”

“What’s my limit?” I asked.

He shrugged. “You tell me.”

“The sky’s the limit!” I squeezed his muscular forearm. “Let’s have a good time, okay?”

Max agreed‌—‌somewhat reluctantly‌—‌and he was a man of his word. We had a great time. I was happy to finally be sharing an evening with Max without obsessing about what it meant, what his motivations were, and whether or not I was leading him on.

And after my fifth drink, I was feeling even happier. Thrilled with the world. I danced with Max, no longer feeling claustrophobic on the small dance floor. “I love this song!”

“Sounds exactly like the one that came before it.” He was a surprisingly good dancer. He didn’t overdo it or anything, but he kept to the beat and didn’t embarrass me.

I tumbled toward him. “Is the floor a little slippery?”

“No.”

I sunk into his arms. “Then why is it so hard to stay on my feet?”

He shrugged, hooking my arms around his warm neck. “My lure is irresistible to you.”

My head on his shoulder, I inhaled the raw scent of him. “You smell good,” I mumbled, knowing how drunk I sounded. He did smell good, though. Absolutely delicious.

“Thanks.”

And his voice! The way it resonated through my entire body sent shivers down my spine, and made me want to stretch my body languorously like a cat in a beam of sunlight. “Your voice... it’s so deep.”

He held me at arm’s length. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked.

“Never better.” I danced a little, then looked towards the bar. “Where did April go?”

“She’s still keeping Sam occupied.”

“Thank God!”

He smiled at me.

I smiled back. Max was such a nice guy. Why hadn’t I noticed it before?

“I think it’s time to go.”

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!”

Max put his arm around my shoulders. “I’m going to take you down to your room, okay?”

“And what are you going to do to me when we get there?” I responded huskily.

“Put you to bed.”

“Alone?” I swayed against him as he ushered me off the dance floor. I smiled to a middle-aged guy sitting at the bar. He smiled back. Everyone on this cruise was so friendly!

“Are you saying you don’t want to be alone?”

I laughed, then wondered what I was laughing at. “Alone? I never want to be alone.”

“You won’t be.” He said it with such conviction that I had to wonder what authority he had over my future.

“How can you promise that?” I finally asked, after another wave of nausea. “I swayed toward the elevator doors. “Are we in rough waters? I’m feeling seasick.”

“You’re stronger than you think.” Max held me, probably thinking it would help me to stay on my feet. If only he knew how his innocent contact made every bone in my body turn to jelly.

The elevator finally opened up to reveal two young, college-aged girls in skimpy club clothes. We walked inside‌—‌or perhaps Max walked and I was dragged. The memory is foggy. The two girls eyed Max without any concern that he might be with me.

One of them was wearing a purple sequined halter-top and body glitter on every inch of her exposed skin. She was wearing low-rise, skinny jeans and exposing most of her midsection. Her stomach was completely flat and she had a tiny, perfectly-formed bellybutton. She smiled while fingering the neckline of her barely-there top.

I smiled back at her. “You have an amazing body. It’s like perfect.”

“Thanks,” she said.

“I mean, seriously. Your body makes me want to switch teams. Actually, are you busy later?”

Max was doubled over laughing behind me. He put a hand on my shoulder. “She’s had a little too much to drink. Just ignore her.”

Suddenly I felt too dizzy to deny I was drunk. The two girls ascended before my eyes as though they were on a separate, but parallel, elevator. I felt Max’s hands in my armpits and I hoped I wasn’t sweaty. Why was I staring at the row of recessed lights in the ceiling?

With a jolt, the elevator stopped and I heard movement. I heard some quiet laughter, sounding like it was coming from miles away, then the sound of elevator doors closing.

Max was still laughing. He hefted me back onto my feet. “We’re almost there.”

Upright again, I saw that the two girls were missing. Good riddance. “What was I saying before?”

“That you don’t want to be alone.” He hooked his arm around my waist. “Nobody does.”

“My fifteen-year plan requires a man. I should have come up with a plan that would work regardless of my luck in love.” I gazed down at my feet and got distracted by my shoes.

“Why a man?”

“You mean I should try to find a woman? Those chicks in the elevator were pretty hot—”

“That’s not what I meant. I was asking why your plan requires a man.” Max moved me through the open elevator doors, my first indication that we’d reached my floor.

“Because one day I want to be married and have a baby,” I whispered as though it were a shameful secret. I let Max do most of the work involved in walking to my room. I saw marked stateroom doors float by and wondered which one was mine.

“There are always sperm donors.”

“Are you volunteering?”

“Nope. If I bring a child into this world, I’m sticking around.” He leaned me against a wall and wrestled me for my purse. I had hooked it around my head so that it crisscrossed on my chest. When he finally retrieved it, he rooted through it without even hesitating.

I watched him, outraged. The effort it would take to tell him to stop seemed monumental at that moment. “What are you looking for?”

He pulled out my room key and smiled. “Here it is.”

I nodded.
Duh.

Max slid the key card through the reader thingy and the little red light flashed green. He pushed open the door, looked at me, then frowned. “Can you manage?”

“Manage what?” I asked, as I slid down the wall.

“Shit.” He lifted me up again, my ever-faithful angel.

I flopped into his arms and stared at his feet. One foot was holding open the heavy stateroom door, while the other was firmly planted between my leather-clad legs. Slowly, he managed to bring his legs together without losing me along the way. He carried me into the darkened room, the door swinging shut behind him.

Max turned on the lamp and then laid me down gently on top of the fully-made bed. He gazed at me while shaking his head.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t leave you like this.”

Woozy and confused, I looked down at my own body. I was wearing black leather from head to toe. It was my ‘Jennifer Garner in
Daredevil
’ look and I thought I knew how to work it. “What’s wrong?”