Going Home (29 page)

Faith sucked in her breath. She had no idea Melinda could yodel or that she knew the cute little song Faith had sung so many times onstage. Apparently the child had been listening whenever Faith practiced. Melinda actually had some of the yodeling skills mastered quite well.

When Melinda finished her song, she looked over at Susie and smiled. “When I grow up, I’m gonna be just like my mamm. I’ll travel around the country, singing, telling jokes, and yodeling. Oh—lee—dee—tee—tee—oh!”

Faith’s heart sank all the way to her toes. She’d never dreamed Melinda was entertaining such thoughts. She’d been so sure the child was settling in here and would grow up happy and content to be Amish.

The way you were?
a little voice in her head asked. Faith wanted better things for her daughter than to spend the rest of her life traipsing all over the countryside, hoping to succeed in the world of music or comedy and seeking after riches and fame.

Feeling as though she’d been struck by a bolt of lightning,
Faith realized those were the very things she had spent ten years of her life trying to accomplish. She wasn’t rich. She wasn’t famous. Had any of it brought her true happiness? Traveling from town to town, performing at one theater after another was a lonely existence. At least for Faith it had been. Being married to Greg hadn’t given Faith the fulfillment she’d been searching for, either. Their tumultuous marriage had only furthered her frustrations.

I brought it on myself by marrying an unbeliever
. Faith remembered what the Bible said about being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Of course, she hadn’t exactly been living the life of a believer during her entertaining years.

She blinked back the tears threatening to spill over.
It’s just as Mama said—the very thing I’ve been wanting for Melinda is exactly what I need. How could I have been so blind? I don’t need fame or fortune. I’ve been selfish, always wanting my own way. My truest desire is fellowship with good friends, the love of a caring family, and a close relationship with God
.

Faith knew without a shadow of a doubt that if Melinda was ever to settle completely into the Amish way of life, she must see by her mother’s example that it was a good life. Faith would need to stay in Webster County. It was either that or say goodbye to Melinda and spend the rest of her life wishing she had stayed.

But do I have enough faith in God to live by His rules?
Staying Amish would never work unless she strengthened her faith. She must rely wholly on the Lord to meet her needs. No amount of money or recognition could fill the void in a person’s heart the
way Jesus’ love did. The scripture verses Noah had shared over the last few months had told her that much.

It’s time to come home, Faith
.

She leaned against the wooden beam closest to her and closed her eyes.
Heavenly Father, I need Your help. I know now that I want to remain here with my people, and I want to draw closer to You. Forgive my sins, and please give me wisdom in raising my daughter so she will want to serve You and not seek after the things in this world
.

When Faith opened her eyes, Melinda and Susie were gone. They’d apparently left the barn, seeking out new pleasures found only on a farm. The kittens were with their mother again, just as Faith’s child would be with her in the days ahead.

Faith left the barn and found the girls playing in the snow. On impulse, she scooped up a handful of the powdery stuff and gave it a toss. It hit the mark and landed squarely on Melinda’s arm.

The child squealed with laughter and retaliated. Her aim wasn’t as good as Faith’s, and the snowball ended up on Faith’s foot. She laughed and grabbed another clump of snow. For the next half hour, she, Melinda, and Susie frolicked in the snow, laughing, making snow angels, and yodeling. Faith hadn’t had this much fun since she was a young child.

When it got too cold, Faith suggested they go inside for a cup of hot chocolate and some of the frosted brownies Noah had brought over. The children were quick to agree, and soon they were all seated at the kitchen table.

Melinda took a bite of brownie and smacked her lips. “Noah sure does bake good, don’t ya think?”

“Jah, he does.”

“I really like him, don’t you, Mama?”

Faith nodded.

“I think I’d like to have Noah for my new
daadi
.”

“When and if the Lord wants you to have a new daddy, He will let us know.”

Melinda’s forehead wrinkled. “I’m wondering if my daadi went away so Noah could come.”

“Oh, Melinda, you shouldn’t be talking that way.”

“Why not?”

“Jah, Faith. Why not?” Susie chimed in.

A vision of Noah’s face popped into Faith’s mind. She did care for him, but was that enough? Could she trust him not to hurt her the way Greg had? Did Noah care about her in any way other than friendship? There were so many unanswered questions.

For a while, Faith had thought Noah might have some romantic interest in her, but here of late, he’d pulled back. She figured he must have some reservations about becoming involved with a woman who didn’t share his strong faith in God. Or maybe it was their age difference that bothered him.

Faith shook her head, trying to clear away the troubling thoughts. From what she’d come to know about Noah, she doubted he would see the few years between them as a problem. It was probably her lack of faith that concerned him the most. As tears clogged her throat, she reached over and pulled Melinda into her arms.

“What’s wrong, Mama? How come you’re crying?”

“Mine are the good kind of tears. Tears of joy.”

“What are you so happy about?” Susie questioned.

Faith hugged both little girls. “I’m thankful to God for giving me you two. I’m also happy to be back here in Webster County, and this is where I plan to stay.” She turned toward the living room. “Now I must speak to Grandma Stutzman. She needs to know what I’ve decided.”

A
s Wilma sat in her favorite chair, rocking back and forth with her eyes closed, she thought about her conversation with Faith and grieved over the thought of her oldest daughter leaving home again. Wasn’t it bad enough that Faith had left home once? Did she have to put her family through that horrible pain again? And what of Melinda? How did Faith think her daughter would understand her own mother leaving her with grandparents she barely knew while she went out into the world to seek her fortune and fame?

Father in heaven
, she silently prayed,
please show me what I might say or do to persuade Faith to stay. I know I’m not the perfect mother, but I love my daughter and can’t bear to think of her going away again
.

A chill shot through Wilma’s body as she realized for the first time what her part had been in driving Faith away. If she’d only
been more accepting when Faith wanted to tell silly jokes and yodel, the girl might never have left home in the first place.

I need to apologize—make things right between us. Even if Faith does leave home again, I can’t let her go with bad feelings between us
.

Wilma’s eyes snapped open when she heard the floorboards creak, and she blinked a couple of times when she saw Faith standing near the front door. “What are you doing here?” she croaked. “I thought you’d gone outside to tell Melinda that you’ll be leaving soon.”

“I—I did see Melinda.”

“How’d she take the news? Does she want to stay here with us or go away with you?”

“Melinda will be staying here.”

A sense of relief flooded Wilma’s soul. At least they wouldn’t be losing their granddaughter. “I’m glad she won’t be leaving. I’ve come to care a great deal for that child,” she said, choking back the tears clogging her throat. “And I want you to know that—” Wilma’s voice caught on a sob. She needed to tell Faith what was on her mind, but she couldn’t seem to get the words out.

Faith took a seat on one end of the sofa as she shook her head. “I didn’t tell Melinda my plans because I’ve changed my mind. I won’t be leaving Webster County, after all.”

Wilma’s mouth dropped open. “You won’t?”

“No, I’ve decided that my place is here—with Melinda and my family.”

Wilma let Faith’s words sink in. Finally, she stood and rushed to the sofa, where she dropped to her knees and hugged her daughter tightly. Tears of joy burst forth and dribbled onto her
cheeks. “Oh, thank the Lord. This is such an answer to prayer.”

Faith nodded and leaned her head on Wilma’s shoulder, as her own tears wet Wilma’s dress.

“I should’ve been more understanding. Maybe if I’d taken time to enjoy your humor and had looked for the good in you, things would have gone better,” Wilma murmured.

Tears rolled down Faith’s cheeks, and she shuddered. “You might feel bad for driving me away, but Papa sure doesn’t. In all the time I’ve been home, he’s never once said he was glad I came back or that he hoped I would stay.” She shook her head. “I’m sure he would never take any of the blame for me leaving, but to be honest, I know it’s as much my fault as it was yours and Papa’s.”

“What do you mean?” Mama asked.

“It was selfish of me to want my own way and desire recognition for talents.” Faith sniffed deeply. “I’m sorry for all I put you and Papa through when I left home.”

Wilma stroked Faith’s back as they held each other and wept.

“Your mamm and I are both at fault for you leaving.”

Faith’s head came up as Menno stepped into the room and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Papa,” she murmured. “I—I didn’t know you’d come in. I’m so sorry for everything I put you and Mama through. Can you ever forgive me?”

He nodded slowly. “I owe you an apology, too, daughter. I should have been more accepting of your jokes and even your frog-croaking yodeling.”

Faith laughed, hiccupped, and then started to cry again.

“I promise you that I’m going to be more accepting from now on,” Menno said as he pulled Faith to her feet and gave her a hug.

“And I’ll try not to act silly at inopportune times,” she said between sniffs.

Wilma reached for a tissue from the box on the table near the sofa and handed it to Faith. “So Melinda doesn’t know you were planning to leave?”

Faith shook her head. “I saw no reason to tell her since I’ll be staying.”

“You’re right. You’re right. There’s no reason for her to know. It might upset her even though you’re not leaving after all,” Menno said.

“Jah, I agree.” Faith nodded. “God has shown me that my place is here.”

The next day during church, Noah couldn’t help noticing Faith, who sat across the room on the women’s side. Something about her expectant expression made him wonder what was going on with her. She sat up straighter than usual and seemed to be listening to everything Bishop Martin said. Every once in a while, she blew her nose or dabbed the corners of her eyes with her handkerchief. Noah couldn’t wait for the service to end so he could talk to her.

When church was over, tables were set up in the barn for the men and boys to eat their meal. Noah was disappointed when
Faith wasn’t one of the servers at his table, but he hoped he would get the chance to speak with her after he ate.

He hurried through the meal and was about to head for the house, when his father showed up saying Mom had taken ill.

“Sorry to hear that,” Noah said. “Is her blood sugar out of whack?”

Pop shrugged. “I’m not sure. She’s feeling weak and shaky, so it could just be the flu, but I think it would be best if we went home now.”

Since Noah had ridden to church with his folks that morning, he felt he had no choice but to leave when they did. “Okay, Pop,” he said with a nod. “I’ll get the horse hitched to our buggy right away.”

As Noah headed toward the corral, he spotted Faith talking to Barbara Zook on the front porch. He started that way, thinking he would at least say hello, but halted when he heard Barbara say, “What’s that big smile all about, Faith?”

“I’m smiling because I’m so happy,” Faith replied.

“Happy about what?”

“Well, I’ve been planning to leave Webster County for some time—ever since I brought Melinda here, and—”

Faith’s voice was drowned out when Barbara’s two boys dashed up, hollering that they wanted to play ball but the older boys wouldn’t let them join the game.

“Noah, have you got the horse yet?” Pop called out. “Your mamm’s feeling really light-headed.”

“I’m coming, Pop.” With a heavy heart, Noah moved on to the corral. He’d feared the day would come when Faith would
leave Webster County, and he had been a fool to allow himself to fall in love with her. If only he could do something to make her stay. He didn’t understand why God hadn’t answered his prayers concerning Faith, but he knew it wasn’t for him to question God’s ways.