Going Down in La-La Land (23 page)

“
Hi!” I exclaimed in delight. “I’ve been wondering when I’d run into you. I haven’t seen you since the film festival at The Public Theater in Manhattan.”

“
I’ve been in England for the past few months. I just got back into town a few days ago. I’ve heard you’ve become quite a presence at HUNG video,” Perry smirked.

“
Much to my surprise,” I sheepishly admitted. “Actually, I’m here with Dale Warren. He ran off to go to the bathroom twenty minutes ago and hasn’t returned. So will I be seeing you around the office now that you’re back in the States?”

“
Actually, my boyfriend Mitch and I are working on a feature. I wanted to talk to you about it because I remember you telling me you were in the Screen Actors Guild. There’s a small part we’d like for you to read for. The name of the project is
The Voyeur,
and it’s a behind-the-scenes drama about the gay porn industry, kind of a gay
Boogie Nights.
I think you’d really like the script.”

Perry had already made a number of film shorts that were well received at numerous film festivals. His aspiration was to become a mainstream movie director, and he had the talent. Even his porn films, which he did for the income, had an artistic aesthetic and sometimes genius subplot. I knew if he made a film, it would be outstanding.

I gave him my information; we made small talk for a bit and then parted ways. By now my feet were prunes from sitting in the Jacuzzi. Dale still hadn’t come back yet, so I decided to go look for him.

“
Where are you going off to?” a muscle-bound guy with streaked hair and blindingly white teeth asked as I took my feet out of the water. He was followed by a beautiful Latin guy. Both began taking off their clothes and all the heads nearby turned our way.

“
The party is just starting, papi,” the Latin purred.

“
Nature calls,” I smiled, as the two began revealing hard bronzed bodies, tossing clothes aside and stripping out of the underwear.

“
Well, come back when you’ve finished your business,” the Latin winked, causing his friend to laugh.

“
Don’t worry,” I teased back. “I’m sure you’ll have lots of company in a matter of minutes.”

“
The more the merrier,” the first guy said, stepping into the water, his dick bobbing around. Eventually it disappeared as he submerged his body beneath the bubbles.

I made my way into the house, passing by clusters of men all now fixated on the Jacuzzi.

While in the house I heard a splash behind me. Now people were jumping in the pool. This party was getting wild. But tonight I wasn’t into any of that. I had come here with Dale. I could get sex any other time, on a porn set, turning a trick. If anything, I was having more than my fair share. I was somewhat relieved that I wasn’t getting sucked into any debauchery tonight. Lately I had been feeling I was losing all control with temptation. Besides, I was on cloud nine about being approached to be featured in legitimate film, in a speaking role no less. Perry had also told me that he had secured a rock legend I had long admired into being in their film. Perhaps I would share a scene with her.

By now much of the crowd had trickled out and what was left over were hardcore partiers, most of them two sheets to the wind. Couples were making out on the couches. In the corner of the room a number of people were dancing to music, their eyes closed and in another world. Screams and laughter exploded from all around me. But Dale was nowhere to be found.

For a moment I thought maybe he had left me, as payback for backing out of the concert. I began to get a little frantic and freaked out. If Candy wasn’t around to pick me up, I didn’t even have cash for a cab.

I spotted Robert Gleisman near the front door saying good-bye to some people. I interrupted and asked if he had seen Dale.

“
Nope. Sorry,” Gleisman said dismissively, going back to his conversation. Apparently I had really insulted him by refusing his offer to be a living Oscar.

Fuck him,
I thought, moving on.

I made my way down the hall, where I saw people moving up and down a staircase. Many of them were holding hands and smiling lustily at one another. I passed a few more guys like that on the way up the steps. The hallway turned to the left. In the first open room there were a number of guys standing around, and few lying on the bed making out. Some of them were taking bumps of some drug or the other, most likely crystal. I peered in looking for Dale, trying not to be too obvious. They stopped their conversation to look at me. I said hello and then walked farther down the hall. I could hear them burst into laughter from behind me.

Two doors were at the end of the hallway. The one on the left was open a crack. I peeked inside to see a couple on the bed. One was sitting on the edge with his head back moaning, and the other giving him a blow job, slurping loudly and jerking his head back and forth spastically. Neither of them were Dale. I stepped away immediately. Neither of them had noticed me. I supposed they wouldn’t have given any indication even if they had; they were so into it, moaning up a storm.

I turned to walk away, then suddenly stopped, listening carefully. What I was hearing was more than just the laughter of the group in the first room and the moaning of the couple I just peeked in on. I heard grunting, a distinct grunting that was known to me.

I turned around, grabbed the knob of the door on the right, and opened it a crack.

Inside I was disgusted with what I saw. Hunched over naked on his hands and elbows was Brian. In one hand he had a vial with white powder and was reaching in to take a snort. Ramming him from behind was Dale, his face flushed and his body dripping with sweat. Both of them were gasping and groaning, and looked totally out of it. Dale’s head was thrown back and Brian’s mouth was hanging open like a fish.

“
Here you go, dude,” Brian said passing up the vial to Dale as he pumped away.

“
Thanks, man,” Drew mumbled incoherently as he grabbed the vial, paused for a minute, then dumped a pile of white powder on his hand and sniffed away with vigor.

The two of them looked so gross together. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The pit of my stomach began to churn. Just seeing them there spinning out of control with their drug-crazed sexual antics was enough to make me vomit. At the moment, I realized what kind of element I had fallen in with, and just how far I had gone into left field in terms of life choices. God only knows if they were even using a condom.

I had seen enough, quietly closing the door; I thought I saw Dale’s eyes meet mine. If so, he was probably too buzzed on his drugs to care. Either way, I wasn’t waiting to find out. I was getting the hell out of this madhouse.

I turned and walked swiftly down the hall. When I reached the top of the staircase, one of the guys in the first room called out, “Hey, where you going?” nearly giving me a heart attack as all his friends laughed. There had to be a quick way out of this place.

Downstairs inebriated guests were hanging all over the furniture. The music was blaring. Naked people were jumping in and out of the pool. There seemed to be a massive orgy in the Jacuzzi, heads bobbing up and down, lips locked as guys made out with one another, frequently switching partners.

Salvation came in the form of Perry Bristol, in his East Village bohemian thrift rags and curly blond hair. He was walking out the door with a dark-haired guy also dressed in downtown New York fashion, complete with black horn-rimmed glasses. I guess this must have been his boyfriend Mitch.

“
Perry,” I yelled frantically.

“
Hey, Adam,” Perry said. “You’re still here? Unless you want to get ravaged by the pool I suggest you take off now.”

“
Listen, can you guys give me a ride?” I asked, sounding clearly upset.

Perry must have sensed something was wrong, because his expression became serious and his tone of voice changed from that of a British dandy to aristocratic concern.

“
Sure. Are you okay?”

“
Yeah,” I said, trying to regain composure. “I’ll be okay. I just lost my ride and I really want to get out of here.”

“
No kidding,” Mitch said. “We were just saying the same thing. This party is starting to get really ugly. They were drinking God knows what kind of liquid drug out by the pool. I can see this shindig turning into something out of
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
or
Helter Skelter.
Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

The three of us walked briskly toward their car, a bottle green antique Benz straight out of the 1970s.
Leave it up to Perry to drive an eclectic car with an inordinate amount of style,
I thought upon seeing it, taking my mind off the ugly scene I had just witnessed for a brief moment.

In the car I told Perry and Mitch the whole story. I felt so badly they were driving me to the edge of Beverly Hills, given that they lived all the way in Silver Lake. I thanked them over again and again.

“
I would really watch out, Adam,” Perry said in his soft voice with genuine concern. “I feel badly, because Dale is a really good guy. Unfortunately, he’s hooked on that crystal shit. It’s becoming a real mess. The guy overextended himself with jobs and started doing speed to work faster and keep longer hours. But now it’s taken over his life. This is just between you and me and goes no further, but Ron told me he is infuriated with him. Lately he has been making a lot of mistakes, and Ron is sick of having to pay for them. It’s going to be an ugly scene there. He has begged me to step in, but we are just so busy with our film, and I’m over HUNG Video to tell you the truth. The problem is that Dale parties as much as he works, which makes matters worse.”

“
Perry keeps his work and social life separate,” Mitch cut in. “Not that we don’t have a few friends in porn, but most of our friends are outside the industry. He does his work and then leaves it behind.”

“
Exactly,” Perry said. “Whereas with Dale, it has become his whole existence. It’s so sad, because I’ve really seen him deteriorate.”

“
It’s really messed up,” I said. “I mean I knew he did drugs. I saw them at his place. But I just thought it was on occasion. I didn’t know he was in so deep.”

“
Unfortunately that’s the case,” Perry said. “Tonight was really a blessing in disguise, Adam; it’s going to save you grief in the long run. You are smart enough to know you don’t need that element in your life. If you had wanted to stay at that party, it wouldn’t have been a good sign.”

Minutes later we were at Candy’s.

“
So we’ll have the casting director give you a call in a few weeks,” Mitch said. “Perry thinks you’re really perfect for this part, and after meeting you so am I.”

“
Thanks, guys. You don’t know how glad I am we ran into each other,” I said.

“
Don’t worry about it,” Perry said, reaching through the front window and squeezing my hand. “Go get some sleep.” He smiled, and then drove off into the night.

I entered the apartment quietly. I could hear Candy’s television going in her bedroom. She probably dozed off in her bed watching it, as she often did. I was glad she wasn’t up. I didn’t have the energy or wherewithal to go over the lurid events of the evening with her. Instead I brushed my teeth faster than a speeding bullet, pulled off my clothes, and threw myself into bed.

A minute later I was startled by a noise. I had left my cell phone on and it was in my jeans pocket. Pulling it out I looked at the screen. It said DALE in blocky letters. I clicked it off and tossed it on the floor.

I was done with these people. What bothered me the most about seeing Dale and Brian in their drug-frenzied fuck session is that it could easily be me months away. So far I was only doing porn and escorting, which was bad enough. But if I kept going in the direction I was heading, the temptation to become tweaked out of my mind 24-7 for $120 a gram might become impossible to avoid or resist.

My extended vacation into the realm of gay porn was over. Exhausted, I fell asleep.

That following Monday I called in sick to my warehouse job at HUNG. I had no desire to see or run into anybody. Dale had left a handful of rambling messages on my cell phone. Some of the messages were frantic and manic, whereas others sounded completely spaced out.

“
Adam, I’m so, so sorry I lost you at the party. There were so many people there and I got caught up with some people I haven’t seen in a while, you know, catching up on business. Give me a call, okay?”

After I didn’t call he must have figured I knew what kind of business he was doing.

“
Adam, anything that went on at the party meant nothing. I was just fooling around. Look, I let you off the hook when you sold me out the night of the concert. Can’t you just cut me some slack? Come on, babe, call me,” he pleaded on one of the more recent messages.

After a while I just erased them altogether. I was disgusted with Dale, but most of all disgusted with myself for not getting smart about him sooner.

When I told Candy she was really put off but not surprised.

“
You know, Adam,” she told me in the kitchen, “I feel like I’ve seen and heard it all in this town. I’m glad you’ve finally come to your senses. In the beginning I didn’t want to give you too much grief because I know how stressful hunting for a decent job is and how miserable you were answering phones at Acclaimed Talent. But your involvement in that scene really went too far. I just hope you’re not planning on ever running for public office.”