God's Eye (51 page)

With tears in her eyes, she nodded, hating it but understanding.

She was so afraid and so cold. As she started to shake, tears began running down her cheeks in earnest. She sucked in air, and both men came at her, sympathy in their eyes. But she shook her head at them. One was fake, he was plying her … or both were.

Her chest clenched at the thought, and she took a step back.

Her body forced a deep breath in.

Zachary had showed her the Kingdom. Allistair had sucked her into a whirlpool of emotion, an all-encompassing cloud that defied reason and only wanted, leaving no room for rational thought. Zachary had befriended her, called her Katie and …

Zachary.

Zachary of the light blue eyes. Margot said they changed as they moved. Allistair was dark.

Allistair had said eyes showed origin. And Zachary’s were beautiful.

In a moment of serene peace, she opened her mouth. She prayed she was right, but felt that there was nothing more to do. She had chosen and she would live or die with the consequences. “I–”

“No, Katharine!” Allistair came toward her with his hand outstretched. “Don’t!”

Again she stepped back, angry and scared all at once. “Do you know who I’m going to choose? Do you hear my thoughts?”

“No.” He shook his head, and in his eyes she saw the reflection of her own fear. “I just see that you are about to choose. I have to tell you–”

Zachary’s voice broke into the conversation, his gaze aimed lasersharp at Allistair. “Don’t you dare.” It was low and full of venom.

Katharine sucked in air. Had she chosen wrong? Zachary looked vicious and ready to strike; that he was striking out at Allistair rather than her didn’t change how she felt at all. And she was suddenly very afraid of him.

Allistair.

Allistair, who had shown her only the truth. Who told her things she didn’t want to hear, but that she needed to. Allistair, who somehow, right or wrong, she had fallen in love with. She saw it now. The overwhelming feeling that he swore he hadn’t pushed on her. It was hers.

Could she have loved a demon?

And if she did–if she loved him–would it really matter what he was?

With open eyes, Katharine turned back to Allistair. And this time she saw him, bright and shining. Again she opened her mouth to choose. She knew she had to state her choice out loud, and she had to do it before Zachary advanced on Allistair.

Zachary’s deep voice cut through her thoughts and pierced her plans.

All his intense focus was on Allistair, who stood solid in the face of his enemy. Zachary leaned toward him, his eyes on fire with anger. “You can’t.”

“I can.” Allistair gave no ground, just put his hand out on Zachary’s chest and pushed.

Katharine gasped. It was the first time she had seen them touch each other in human form. The hiss and smell of burning flesh was suddenly everywhere.

Zachary was forced back, small curls of steam rising from the middle of his chest where Allistair’s hand had made contact.

“You don’t.” His hands came out to latch tightly onto Allistair’s shoulders and arced small currents in the air around them. He pushed back.

Though muscles strained, neither man made up any ground. They stood there, locked in a struggle that was evidenced only by the malice on each of their faces and the spitting noises of the air as it crackled around them and seemed to sear their skin.

Then, with one great push, Allistair broke free.

Desperate and fast, he turned to Katharine.

Despite everything, despite what she had just seen on both their faces, despite what he might be, when he reached out for her she reached to him.

For a millisecond she worried that her skin too would hiss and burn with his touch, but it didn’t. Instead, he closed his hand around hers, making contact, and talking as fast as he could.

“You have to choose–”

“I know, and I–” She interrupted him, only to have him interrupt her back.

Zachary stood watching, seething, as though something about the touch linked her to Allistair and he knew he wasn’t able to break it.

Allistair caught her attention, looked her in the eyes. “You
don’t
know. There’s another option.”

“You wouldn’t. You’ll cost us both.” Zachary’s warning pricked at her in a thousand places, and as Katharine glanced around she saw tiny drops of blood welling all along both her arms.

Her breath sucked in, and the sting began to radiate through her. How had he done that? She had to say it, had to say Allistair’s name. She tried to get enough air to speak, but the cuts were as frightening as they were painful.

“Katharine.” Allistair pulled his attention back to her. He caught her gaze and held it with his own. “Look here, look at me, listen to me. No matter what he says or does.”

She nodded. She had chosen, and her eyes locked with his, the same way they always had when she was with him. Whatever he was, she was with him.

He began speaking rapidly, and although Katharine was trying to pay attention, it cost so much to tune out Zachary and his painful protests that she only half heard what Allistair was saying.

“You have to choose. But there’s another way. There’s a third choice. You can decide against both of us. You can choose neither. You can choose you.”

“No!” Zachary’s voice lashed out and caught her unprepared.

Katharine would have bent over, folding in half, if Allistair hadn’t been holding on to her. The tiny pinpricks on her arms opened to small cuts everywhere. Her blood began to ooze out. She felt it on her neck, her face, everywhere that was exposed to the sound of his voice.

Allistair pulled her close in an attempt to protect her. He growled at Zachary. “I told her. It’s done, it’s over.”

“It isn’t.” Zachary came toward him, the sound and feel of his footsteps vibrating through the floorboards like a heavy machine.

Allistair’s voice was sharp in her ear. “Say it. End it. Katharine. Choose.”

She huddled in Allistair’s arms, bleeding from a thousand open wounds on every exposed surface of her flesh. She wanted to choose him, but he didn’t want her to. Not any more.

His voice came from right beside her ear and inside her head at the same time. “Choose you. Katharine. Do it. Now!”

He pulled her closer as Zachary approached.

She had believed that maybe Zachary wouldn’t be able to break the bond that Allistair had formed by touching her. But that wasn’t true; he had broken it with his voice alone, leaving her huddled there, oozing blood from all the little cuts the shards of his voice had opened. And he was striding toward them, furious, coming to tear them apart.

Katharine fought to breathe. She had trouble finding her voice; it was the one thing she needed now. It all depended on her saying the words.

Allistair huddled over her and around her, his voice strong and almost angry sounding. “Now, Katharine. Say it now.”

With one great gasp, she blurted it out. “Me. I choose me.”

Does that work?

The thought raced through her mind and was gone before the air had even cleared.

Zachary had stopped in his tracks and stood stock-still. For just a moment he did nothing but look stunned.

Then, with a speed that seemed to stun Allistair, too, he did something that looked like he was inhaling. Less than a moment later, all his anger burst out of him in one pulse, slicing through the air. It radiated out, like a shock wave. The roar of fury that emanated from him rattled her down to her core and would have knocked her over had Allistair not held on to her so tightly. He was as solid as Zachary. He could withstand what was thrown at them, and so she clung to him.

The force of what Zachary had unleashed passed through them, and the building seemed to shake beneath and around her while Allistair held her close and steadied her through the onslaught. Huddling into his arms, Katharine waited for cracks to form and the building to start to give way underneath them. Surely it couldn’t hold up against that kind of force. But she took two more breaths before she believed that they were still there and not buried under piles of rubble from the shaking.

Then Zachary stopped and stood still again, his anger a presence in the room, but no longer active. He seethed while she started to breathe just a little again.

Though her arms and face still stung just a bit, when she looked, the cuts had faded. With a tentative smile, Allistair rubbed his fingers over the blood there, smearing his fingers but revealing the healed skin underneath. “You’ll be okay now.”

With one last venomous look on his too-attractive face, Zachary turned to Allistair. His voice was somehow serene as he spoke just two words. “You’ll pay.”

Allistair set her aside like a doll he had been holding. Nodding at his enemy, he accepted what had been said. “I know.”

Then Zachary was gone.

He didn’t sink into the floor. There was no crackle of electricity, no change in the air, just a moment of nothing in the place where he had stood. Only a pile of soot on the floor gave evidence that he had been there.

Katharine sank back into Allistair’s arms, letting herself feel completely safe for the first time since the whole thing had started. As though she belonged there, even if she didn’t really know what he was, his arms curled around her, holding her tight against him. And for a few breaths and a handful of heartbeats she didn’t worry.

Then, just as she leaned all the way into him, fear wound around her heart. She had ended it, but she hadn’t …

Her eyes snapped up to his. “What about you?”

Allistair shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”

“But I thought I had to choose you. For you to win.”

“Don’t worry.” As he took her hands, the look on his face changed from one of contentment to one of acceptance. “You have what you need. You’ve seen what you are capable of.”

She cringed. He had shown her that: all the devastation, all the things she’d had a hand in funding, the evils that she hadn’t caused, but had helped along their way.

Though she hurt over the thought of the consequences she would have to deal with, he simply smiled at her. “No Katharine. All that you have caused is done and cannot be undone. Even Zachary and I cannot undo what is. And it was never my intention to make you feel guilty, just to make you see.”

She understood. Finally. “The TV, the night it was stuck …”

He nodded. “The animals. Just to wake you up. Make you look, make you see.”

“But what I’ve done–”

“Is done. You need now only look to what you are capable of. Think of all that you can do if you pay attention. Think of what you can do if you aim that focus the right way. The way you intend.”

Her heart tightened with shame at what she had been doing, at all that she’d unknowingly caused, but at the same time her burden lightened, and for the first time in her life she simultaneously felt both free and strong. He was right. She could do so much …

Allistair’s eyes flicked to the side, suddenly wary. His body tensed as he went on alert from something she didn’t sense. Katharine knew enough for his reaction to frighten her, and her muscles tightened to brace for what Allistair sensed. She didn’t get a chance to ask him about it, though.

As she opened her mouth, she began to hear the sound at the base of her brain–a wail from another world.

He stepped back, away from her, looking both afraid and resigned.

“Allistair!” She dove forward, reaching out for him, hoping to grab him and hold onto him in some way, but his hand came up, warning her off.

Something in his eyes made her stop, even though she wanted nothing more than to throw herself at him. So she stood, helpless, as he changed.

He didn’t want it. She could tell.

He seemed to know she was more comfortable with his human form. And he fought the metamorphosis, struggled to fend off what was happening against his will. But it was clearly a losing battle.

This, then, was what he really was.

And, though she watched the change and in her head knew it was Allistair in there, it scared the crap out of her. She was riveted to the spot, unable to move forward, to offer any help, even while she knew her help was of no consequence in his world. Although she knew that this was what he really was, that she had been seeing a façade, she still didn’t want to see the real him. But her eyes wouldn’t close and she couldn’t make herself look away.

His skin lost the texture of human cells, changing on the surface while his basic shape morphed as well.

“Katharine.” He beseeched her in a voice that altered and deepened even as he spoke the single word. He said it again, this time a pleading sound wound through her name, as if he begged her to look away.

But she couldn’t. Wouldn’t. He had faced Zachary’s wrath for her. She could look him in the eyes, whatever he turned out to be.

Slick and shiny, his skin turned to something more like mercury than anything else she could compare it to. His muscles moved and flowed under his skin with an unearthly grace. The claws that grew from his fingers didn’t frighten her as much as they once had, and not as much as the fact that he was changing.