Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being (14 page)

BOOK: Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being
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Pueraria mirifica
: A-ma-ta

Having been on the front lines of women’s health for many years, I’ve long been interested in natural approaches to perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms, and also substances that help promote women’s health on all levels. Several years ago, I received a call out of the blue from a Dr. Sandford Schwartz in Thailand, a researcher (originally from New York City) who has vast experience with the herb
Pueraria mirifica
(PM). Dr. Sandy, as he is called, convinced me to investigate the properties of this substance and try it using the patented form known as Puresterol. There are many different subspecies of PM, and to be effective, the right type of plant must be harvested at the right time by skilled foragers. Then the active ingredients must be standardized. This is what Puresterol is—a patented standardized extract of the right type of PM from Thailand, where it is sustainably harvested. Impressed with the research—and with the results that women were reporting—I eventually started my own company as a way to get the word out about this substance. The company is called A-ma-ta, a name derived from the Thai word for “ageless.” I wanted women everywhere to have the opportunity to find relief for their perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms through using this herb, and to experience its “youthifying” effects. I never thought I’d start my own company—but in doing so, I have the quality control to make sure that women are getting
the right amounts and the right formulation.
Pueraria mirifica
has also been shown to build bone mass, tone the breasts, and relieve vaginal dryness
2
as well as thicken vaginal walls, which tend to become thinner over time and can cause discomfort during intercourse.
3

Women are reporting wonderful results with A-ma-ta products. And this is thrilling to me. “I didn’t know what to expect, if anything,” one user posted on the A-ma-ta website. “But within 2 weeks of starting the drops, well, let’s just say I was shocked by the dramatic ‘youthing’ going on down there. Surprised, delighted, impressed.” Another woman wrote, “I’ve been taking A-ma-ta 12 days and ladies … it truly is working. I have more energy, feel calmer, more rested, and the hot flashes are infrequent with much less intensity.” Still another reported that after day three of taking A-ma-ta, “I actually fell asleep at a decent hour and woke up rested and without burning eyes. After a couple of weeks … I am more functional, calm, balanced, and joyful…. I can’t wait to see and feel the positive changes in the future.”

If you’ve tried these simple approaches to insomnia and are still having a problem, chances are good that your body is trying to get you to address some deeper issues. When Sue was going through a midlife divorce, she found herself waking up at 3:00
A.M.
every night, and no matter what she did, this pattern continued. She finally stopped fighting it and instead decided to keep pen and paper nearby to record her dreams and inspirations that came pouring in at that time of night. Within a month, Sue realized that there were stories that wanted to come through her. She began to look forward to her late-night inspirations, and she eventually collected enough material to write a book.

My friend Wayne Dyer, Ph.D., writes all of his books in the wee hours of the night. He believes this is when God comes to us most clearly. And though I am not an early-morning writer—my best dreams are always around 7:30 to 8:30
A.M.
—I’m well aware that 4:00
A.M.
is considered the most yin (dark) time of night, when creative flow is likely to be especially powerful. In fact, this
is when both animals and humans are most likely to give birth. And maybe it’s when our souls want to come through to us to help us give birth to our highest selves. So rather than fight insomnia, you may want to consider whether it is a gift connecting you to your creative flow.

A HEALTHY HEART

Breast cancer has been branded with a pink ribbon, and now heart disease in women has also been branded—with a red dress—because heart disease is the number-one killer of women, surpassing breast cancer. Most people have been brainwashed into thinking that we have to have a disease in order to die. This belief, which robs us of vitality, is reinforced by all our “run for the cure” campaigns—none of which has ever done any good in actually decreasing the risk of getting a disease. It may even be the other way around, since what we resist persists. It’s the Law of Attraction: we become what we think about and worry about the most. So as a first step in dealing with heart disease, breast cancer, or anything else, let’s start fertilizing the idea that it’s completely possible to die disease-free in our sleep when it’s our time! Remember the goal: “Happy, healthy, dead!”

Heart disease comes on very slowly in most women. In fact, in Tulane University’s Bogalusa heart study, which took place over a 44-year span, doctors found arteriosclerosis—the beginning of clogged arteries, which eventually leads to heart disease—in five-year-olds.
4
So you have years to address and reverse it if you monitor your health.

There are also some hormonal factors all women should know about. In his research on rhesus monkeys (and, later, on humans), researcher Kent Hermsmeyer, Ph.D., showed that natural progesterone, in contrast to synthetic progesterone such as Provera, causes coronary arteries to relax.
5
Many women with angina (heart pain) would do well to use natural progesterone, but they need to avoid the synthetic versions. The famous Women’s Health Initiative study that was stopped abruptly in 2002 used Prempro as the hormone combination of choice for addressing women’s menopause symptoms. The researchers found that
using this artificial hormone combo correlated with an increased rate of death from heart disease. In fact, the study showed that the women taking this manmade hormone had a higher risk of heart disease
and
breast cancer. Since then, the medical profession has changed its tune and is now recommending the lowest dose of hormone for the shortest period of time necessary to relieve symptoms.

Here’s more good news: the heart is very forgiving. Forgiving is a big part of its job, after all. It wants and needs to feel free, and carrying around resentment is just too much of a burden. Many people who have suffered heart attacks have healed by living in a wholehearted way that supports the wisdom of their hearts—wisdom that is all about passion, compassion, and loving deeply and freely. Getting things “off your chest” through forgiveness is more important than the effect of hormones on your heart. And the most important person to forgive is yourself. Letting go of your disappointments and harsh self-judgments is crucial for heart health and agelessness.

MENDING A BROKEN HEART

In the year following my divorce, I had my first bout of chest pain. I had picked up my then 16-year-old daughter at camp and had fantasized our reunion and joyful trip home together. My oldest had already gone off to college, so I had both an empty nest and an empty bed after 24 years of marriage. My sun and several other planets are in Libra, the sign of partnership, so my natural state is one of partnering. But my soul had decided that I was ready for an upgrade in this department. I needed to learn to be alone and not panic. The universe had ensured that I would start to lose people close to me so I could learn to loosen my attachments to others.

When I picked up my daughter at camp, she promptly fell asleep in the car, leaving me to drive for three hours without any conversation. I was very aware of being alone with my thoughts. When we got home, she bounded into the house and started calling her friends. So much for a cherished reunion! I felt like a fifth wheel, just someone who paid the bills and drove the car.

As I stood in the driveway, I had my first bout of chest pain. It radiated into my neck, and I knew that the pain was connected to my heart—but I also knew that it wasn’t a heart attack. Still, I had an EKG and blood pressure taken to be sure. Everything was okay. My heart pain’s purpose that day was to awaken me to my need to grow and to let go so that my daughter didn’t have to stifle her own growth to meet my need for partnership.

Over the ensuing years, I developed this same heart pain about twice a year. And each time, the chest pain served as a kind of warning about a difficult emotional lesson that I still needed to learn. The pain never lasted more than 15 minutes. Heart disease runs in my family, but so does something else: a pattern of “smoothing things over,” “keeping the peace,” and “keeping things close to the chest.” Getting things “off my chest” and being 100 percent honest about my true feelings, no matter how uncomfortable, was hard for me. All of those painful feelings were rooted in heartbreak about not having the love relationship I longed for.

The truth is that I had a big load of healing to do. I knew intellectually that I had to complete myself—to figure out how to be “whole, and complete, and lacking in nothing” (a description Unity minister Jill Rogers uses in her workshop The Seven Sacred Steps). But it’s one thing to know a concept intellectually and quite another to embody it—to really, truly
feel
whole, and complete, and lacking in nothing whether or not you’re in a relationship. This is especially true for a single woman in her ageless years who loves romance novels!

I had no lack of male attention, especially once I learned how to surrender to a man’s lead in tango. It’s just that almost none of the men who were attracted to me held any appeal for me other than as friends, and the two who did were not available. It was a heartbreaking pattern for me. I would think,
Oh, thank God. I’ve finally met a man who really turns me on, isn’t jealous of my success, is fit and healthy, and is attracted to me. But once again, he’s emotionally unavailable because of issues in his own life. Really? Are you kidding me?
Oh, the drama of my heartbreak! “Am I destined to be alone forever?” she says as she falls to the earth emitting heart-wrenching sobs.

The first step toward truly healing my heart was simply acknowledging the truth of what I was feeling: no judgment, no covering up, no shaming. And I am absolutely convinced that if I had not done serious emotional work to heal my past and my relationship patterns (which you’ll learn more about in the next chapter), I would indeed have had a heart attack sooner or later. Or maybe I would have developed breast cancer. Instead, I transformed years of heartbreak into a wise, healed heart full of compassion for myself and others. Then I was able to let go of my need to cling to the people I loved with a death grip!

While many people are addicted to tobacco, alcohol, and food, my addiction of choice was relationships (an addiction often called codependence). By unflinchingly identifying this for what it truly was, and turning it over to God (about a million times!), I was able to nourish my heart’s health. My heart is now free, happy, and whole. What a revelation! What a relief! This is true heart disease prevention. I want the same for you!

How to Love Your Heart

~
Appreciate that your heart is the energetic center of your body.
Like the Sun that is at the center of our solar system, your heart is the central “sun” that fuels every system in your body.

~
Recognize that your heart always wins.
When there’s conflict between what you think and what you feel, what you feel wins—every time. If you don’t listen to your heart trying to express its feelings, it may take an illness to get you to pay attention. That phrase “her heart just wasn’t in it” when a relationship, job, or life dies is the truth. If your heart’s not in it, why are you in it?

~
Forgive yourself and others.
Forgiveness is powerful physical medicine. Research has shown that resentment and hostility are very substantial risk factors
for heart attacks. On the other hand, that old phrase “a merry heart doeth good like a medicine” is also true. Holding on to resentments and anger will age you. Forgiveness is not about the other person. It is about calling back your own worthiness from whoever or whatever hurt you and freeing yourself from the entrapment of the past.

~
Focus on what you love and what you find beautiful in order to calm your fight-or-flight reactions.
Research by leading neuroscientist Dr. Richard Davidson at the University of Wisconsin has shown via functional MRI scans of healthy brains that a structure called the fusiform gyrus on the underside of the brain works in counterpoint to the amygdala, the primitive center that signals danger and the fight-or-flight response. The fusiform gyrus recognizes things we love and appreciate. The more we focus on what we love and value, the more enhanced the function of the fusiform gyrus and the calmer the amygdala. We become rewired for love, not fear.

~
Create cardiac coherence.
Cardiac coherence comes when you smooth out erratic patterns of your heart rate so that your heart doesn’t shift quickly from a relaxed state to beating quickly in response to perceived danger when there’s no real threat to your safety. You can train your heart to be less reactive to emotional stressors so you don’t regularly experience fight-or-flight responses to everyday life. One way to achieve cardiac coherence and an optimum heart rate variability (HRV) is by using a biofeedback device such as the emWave from the Institute of HeartMath. You can also meditate, practice mindful breathing, or, as I said, regularly think about what you value and love. Watch movies and listen to music that makes you feel loving and loved. Spend time looking at pictures of things you value: your kids, puppies, sleeping babies, fine art, nature scenes, or whatever. Over time, you can learn how to create this healthy heart state at will simply by tuning in to the exalted emotions associated with things you love.

~
Listen to what is truly in your heart.
Change or release old thought patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you. My chest pain is healed and so is my heart. I’m perfectly comfortable and happy with my life right now because I have learned to put the Divine first—not a man. Getting to this point has been, quite frankly, harder than medical school, harder than enduring several lawsuits, and harder than going through a divorce. It has also been infinitely more rewarding and exhilarating—and it’s been the work for which I was born. I have finally succeeded in creating the sacred marriage of male and female within myself—the
hieros gamos.
You, too, have a heart that was designed to be whole, complete, and healed, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not you have a partner. Once your pain has transformed and you have a solid connection with the Divine Beloved within, you’ll find that joy and optimism are your natural state of being. Then, ageless living is natural.

~
Eat quality foods, especially vegetables, and also healthy fats to support a healthy heart and express love to it, but don’t obsess about what’s on your plate.
Avoid processed foods, refined sugar, and trans fats (hydrogenated and partially hydrogenated oils, often found in snack foods and packaged desserts) as much as possible. In the last 70 years, we have increased the amount of these foods in our diets while decreasing the amount of plant foods rich in antioxidants. This dietary change coincides with the rise of heart disease. The trans fats and sugars cause oxidative stress that’s toxic to the endothelial lining of blood vessels unless you have enough antioxidants in your system to counteract them.

~
Experience the exalted emotions!
Schedule pleasurable activities into your life regularly, as this will open your heart and help keep it fit. Dancing, going to movies and concerts, eating out with friends, giving or receiving massages, playing with your dog
or cat—whatever makes you feel great, do it regularly. We tend to eat too much sugar or drink too much alcohol to quell painful emotions because of their opiate effect. Seeking pleasure and comfort is the pathway out. We humans are hardwired that way. However, importing chemical “pleasure” is not sustainable. It’s addictive. Instead, treat yourself to activities that are inherently pleasurable.

~
Move, and enjoy moving.
The body is designed to move so that your blood, lymph fluid, and oxygen can all circulate. Exercise promotes a healthy heart, but pleasurable movement is especially good for the heart. And remember, simply standing up 32 times a day if you sit at a computer can work wonders for preventing toxins from building up and cells from becoming damaged.

~
Connect with Divine Love.
Your heart is fueled by this more than any other factor. Simply ask the Divine to help you feel your connection—and then, listen. Say “Divine Love now manifests in my heart. And now fuels my life.”

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