Goddess of the Sea (19 page)

Andras gave her an appraising look, like she could possibly be more intelligent than he had originally anticipated, but the look was fleeting, and soon he went back to unpacking their food.

CC watched Andras unload their brunch. She understood that he really couldn't help his archaic attitude towards women—after all, he truly was archaic. And he wasn't a bad man, actually he was quite charming. It wasn't his fault that he was trying to woo a modern woman with his ancient ideals. He had hauled her from the water, she reminded herself, and he had pledged to protect her. For that he deserved to be treated courteously. She glanced at his handsome profile. Maybe they could even be friends.

She sat on the edge of the blanket. Picking up a hard-boiled egg and the leg of a grilled bird, she started eating both with genuine gusto. As close as she could figure, she had only slept for just a few hours, and she should have been very tired, but instead of fatigue she felt exhilarated, like she had exercised all day and slept soundly all night, and her body was demanding that she feed it. She finished the egg and started on a thick slice of tangy yellow cheese.

“This is really very good,” she said through healthy bites.

“You seem to be enjoying it. I have rarely witnessed a lady eating with such vigor.” His tone said that ladies either shouldn't eat with such
vigor
, or if they did, they should do so only when not in the company of gentlemen. How very Old South of him, she thought, and almost giggled.

“Where I come from, ladies enjoy their food,” she said, thinking that sometimes they even eat entire buckets of fried chicken—especially when it's their birthday and they're under the influence of too much champagne.

“Undine, are you remembering more about your homeland?” Andras asked eagerly.

Oops—CC took another big bite of meat, forcing him to wait while she chewed and thought up an appropriate answer.

“Sometimes I remember little things during the course of conversations—and then I wonder,
Now how did I know that?
because then I can remember no more.” She moved her shoulders. “Like when Isabel tried to pull my hair back and I told her, no, that maidens from my land wear their hair down. I remembered the fact that maidens in my land can let their hair be free, but nothing else.” She chewed thoughtfully and hoped he'd be satisfied with her vague answer.

Reaching across the space that separated them, he captured one of her glistening locks and wrapped it around his finger.

“I am pleased that you remembered this custom of your people. I would not have your hair bound.”

CC realized that she didn't need to be worried about him questioning her too much. Unlike Abbot William, Andras wasn't bent on interrogation; his interests were obviously elsewhere. CC pulled the strand of hair out of his finger and laughed with what she hoped was maidenly nervousness.

“Isn't memory a funny thing?” She clapped her hands together, then made a show of searching through the food. “Did you bring anything to drink? All this eating is making me very thirsty.”

“Of course. I brought a wine skin we can share.” Andras uncorked a floppy baglike thing before passing it to her. He let his fingers linger just a moment longer than was strictly necessary on hers before releasing it to her.

CC stifled the urge to slap him away like a mosquito. Courtesy, she reminded herself firmly. Treat him like he's a superior officer who is acting fresh.

“Thank you,” she said, and smiled through a mouthful of food. His quick grimace at her unladylike behavior was worth the breach in manners. She felt the tension in her shoulders relax as he withdrew out of her personal space. The wine was thick and delicious, and she felt a satisfying warmth begin to build in the pit of her stomach.

They ate in silence, and CC took the opportunity to absorb the sight of the ocean. She had to admit that Andras had chosen well. That particular area of the shore was much tamer than the breakers below the monastery had been. Here the waves were still white-capped, but they met the beach with lazy strokes, rather than the violent crashing of water against rock. And the sea appeared more shallow, too. The water that lined the beach was turquoise, rather than the sapphire of deeper seas. There were a few bunches of coral that clustered here and there. Her full lips curved up in remembrance. Last night Dylan had introduced her to many of the colorful fish that made coral their home.

“You are so beautiful when you smile like that.” Andras's voice broke into her daydream. “What are you thinking?”

“I was thinking about creatures of the sea and their beauty,” she said.

Abruptly, he reached out and snatched her hand that was temporarily emptied of food. She jerked back in surprise, but he kept a firm hold on her.

“No beast of the sea could ever hope to match your beauty,” he said fervently. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it passionately, leaving a wet spot in the middle of her skin.

CC's stomach jolted in a fluttery brush of fear, and she looked closely at his well-defined face, afraid she would see the frightening lust that had blanketed his features the first time he had kissed her. She drew in a shaky breath of relief when all she read in his expression was earnest and open adoration. Unfortunately for the knight, she felt nothing in response except an embarrassed sense of unease. The only urge she had to touch him was to pat his cheek and apologize for her lack of romantic interest.

“Andras,” she said carefully. “I don't think it's proper for you to—”

A loud chattering interrupted her, and Andras dropped her hand in surprise. CC's attention swiveled to the water, and with a joyous laugh she jumped to her feet. Lifting her skirts, she ran to the edge of the shore.

“Hello, pretty girl,” she called to the dolphin, who continued chattering while leaping and whirling in jubilant welcome. “Isn't this a beautiful day?” CC laughed again, and without thinking she did a little dance step and twirled around, loving the feel of her skirts twining around her legs.

The thunk of stone against flesh came hard and sharp, jarring CC's happiness. The dolphin's shrill cry of pain pierced the air, and the animal dove quickly beneath the waves and disappeared. CC spun around to see Andras testing the weight of another rock in his hand.

“What are you doing?” CC's voice had the sharp edge of command seven years in the air force had honed.

Andras blinked in surprise. “It is a wild beast; it could have caused you harm.”

“Don't you know that wild is not synonymous with evil?” She forced her voice to be even. He had thought he was protecting her. “The dolphin wasn't going to hurt me. She was just a beautiful creature enjoying her freedom.”

“Abbot William would remind us that many things are not as innocent as they appear, Undine, and that excessive beauty must be guarded against, for it can hide prurient intent,” he countered.

CC could hardly believe she had heard him correctly. Prurient intent? A dolphin? She took a deep, cleansing breath and counted to ten before she spoke again.

“Andras, I really do appreciate the help you and the abbot have given me, and I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but did you ever consider that some people get power by convincing others they should constantly be fearful?” she asked.

“Abbot William gets his power from God,” Andras said as if he was reciting a Sunday School lesson.

“I'm not saying that he doesn't; I'm only saying that just because something is beautiful or exotic or even wild, doesn't mean that it's dangerous or sinful,” she said, forcing the knight to meet her gaze. He looked away quickly.

“I think you have become fatigued, and it is time we return,” Andras said stonily. He was already busy repacking their leftovers.

“I think you're right. I am ready to return,” CC said.

She stood looking out at sea like a breathing statue, ignoring the sounds the knight was making as he tossed their leftovers haphazardly into the basket. She felt displaced and alone. Her entire being ached to be a part of the waves. For an instant she thought she saw the glint of orange and gold, barely visible offshore just below the crystal surface, and she had to close her eyes. If she really saw him would she be able to stop herself from going to him? Then what would happen to them?

With her eyes still closed, she concentrated on sending two words out into the ocean.
I'm sorry
, she thought desperately. She wasn't sure if she was sending the message to the dolphin or to Dylan.

As she wearily accepted Andras's offered arm and trudged away from the water yet again, one thought was foremost in her mind. She had to talk to Gaea.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“SHALL I escort you back to your room? You just have time for a refreshing nap before evening vespers and dinner.”

Andras turned to face her as they entered the front courtyard. They hadn't spoken on the walk back to the monastery, and the stiffness in the knight's voice matched his body language. CC knew that her behavior must baffle him, and she felt sorry for the tension between them, but her head was throbbing. She wanted relief from the stress of having to continually watch her words and actions around Andras, but she didn't want to be closed up in her little room.

“No, I think I'd rather explore the monastery.” Andras opened his mouth and CC hurried on before he could insist on accompanying her. “And I think I need to spend some time alone in, uh, prayerful meditation before evening mass.” She blinked innocently up at him.

“Of course. I would not want to intrude upon your need for prayer.” His voice was smooth, but his eyes had hardened. CC was unexpectedly reminded of Abbot William.

“Didn't I see another courtyard and some gardens out past the dining room?” she asked.

“Yes. The entrance is through the hall on the other side of the monastery. You may enter it through the dining chamber. I need to take our basket back to the kitchens, so I can escort you to the entrance myself.” He smiled at her, satisfied that she could not immediately escape him.

CC tried not to sigh when she took his arm. She knew the knight was well-meaning, but she could feel the pulse in her right temple beat in time with her headache. She truly needed some time alone. As they walked past the well, she was careful to keep Andras between it and her, but nothing unusual happened. She slanted a gaze at the silent rock structure. It looked innocent and mundane. Surely she hadn't imagined the image of Sarpedon?

The dining room was empty and Andras strode across it, leading her into another dimly lit hallway. At the far end of that hall there was an arched exit that opened to a large courtyard-like area. Andras pointed at the exit.

“Through there are the gardens and a pond. At the far end is the chapel.” His gaze was searing as he raised her hand and pressed it firmly to his lips. “I look forward to escorting you to evening mass.”

She pulled her hand free. “Thank you for lunch. I'm going to attend to my prayers now,” she reminded him in case he was having second thoughts about letting her go. Then she beat a hasty retreat.

CC stepped briskly into the garden area and glanced around to make sure there was no one nearby. Without conscious thought, she wiped Andras's lip print off her hand. She needed to talk to Gaea. Perhaps tonight she should sneak out into the woods. Maybe she would be able to find the goddess there. Absently, she continued to rub the back of her hand. She sighed, wishing she had a couple of Tylenols.

CC began to walk slowly down a little trail that curved and looped through the monastery gardens. Ornamental trees and trellises laced with fragrant flowers dotted the area. Everything was meticulously cared for—not a leaf was out of place or a branch unpruned.

“No wildness, that's for sure,” CC mumbled to herself.

Stone benches were arranged strategically amidst the greenery so that one could sit and meditate with the optimum of privacy. CC thought it felt wrong—too contrived, too well planned. Somehow its controlled beauty came across as stilted and forced.

A delicate breeze brought the tinkle of running water to her, and automatically she followed the sound, choosing a left-handed fork in the path that turned in the direction of the outer monastery wall. The path brought her all the way to the wall, which was lined with oaks that were decidedly older than those in the rest of the garden. CC smiled up at them. These were obviously too big for the monks to cut and reshape into their idea of proper foliage. Actually, that whole area looked more natural than the rest of the gardens. Wildflowers painted the grasses with splashes of orange, violet and lace, and honeysuckle vines covered the wall, filling the air with sweetness. A little brook ran along the wall, too. It bubbled noisily over smooth rocks, pooling in a rounded area before disappearing under the wall and out into the forest. There was no orchestrated sitting area, so CC brushed off the top of a large rock that rested near the pool and sat down. She watched a frog leap from the bank to a lily pad and let the sound of running water ease away her headache.

“What am I going to do?” she whispered.

“About what, Daughter?”

CC pressed a hand against her chest like she was trying to hold down her leaping heart. The clear, beautiful voice of the goddess came from above her. CC looked up to see Gaea reclining regally along a thick branch of the largest oak. Today her transparent robes were the color of bark, except that the browns and grays in the material shimmered magically like they had been sprinkled with gold dust.

“You're going to give me a heart attack someday,” CC said.

Gaea's laughter made the water reeds and grasses sway in response. CC looked around quickly, worry creasing her brow.