Goddess of Love (7 page)

When the mortal began reciting the invocation again, Hera was ready to finish putting into motion that which she'd already helped to begin. From the shadows behind Vulcan she concentrated, calling to her the power of the Queen of Gods.

The child said, “Pleasure, joy, delight and bliss, oh dear Venus, grant me this.”

Hera raised one hand and felt her divine warmth build on her palm as she whispered,
“Hearth and home I call on you. With my divine magic make this rite binding and true.”

Pea said, “With love and hope I call to thee, work your magic just for me.”

Hera continued, calling forth more and more of the power that was her birthright.
“Open Vulcan's eyes—let his heart be new, so that Love can finally pay her debt, which I now call due.”

Closing her eyes, Pea earnestly spoke the final words of the invocation. “Beautiful Venus, blessed be, happiness and ecstasy are the gifts I ask from thee!”

Almost at the same moment Hera concluded the binding, casting invisible power directly into the thread so that only she was aware of the weight of it as it sizzled from Olympus to Tulsa.
“By my command, hearken to Pea. Bind Venus's aid so that trapped in Tulsa she shall be, until true love sets our mortal free!”

Instantly Hera felt the drain of such an immense use of power that she stumbled. Vulcan glanced over his shoulder and the image in the fire wavered, then disappeared.

“Mother? I did not hear you come in.”

Smoothly Hera covered her unaccustomed weakness and her eavesdropping by frowning down at the bottom of her silky white robes. “I believe I've stepped on and torn the hem of my new gown. Vulcan, dear, can you not make the stairs down to your realm a tiny bit little less barbaric and not so steep?”

Vulcan smiled indulgently at his mother as he guided her from the flame room and into his rarely used reception chamber. “Mother, the descent is steep. You should have just had a nymph summon me.” He poured her a glass of wine and was too busy soothing her to notice that her robe was not torn at all, and her smile was smug.

“T
hat poor mortal! I feel just awful for her,” Venus said, gazing after
the woman who had let out the tremendous belch.

“She has extraordinarily bad hair,” Persephone said.

“It's not that bad. It's just thick and curly and she hasn't managed it properly.”

“Please. It's frizzy and awful. And what about those clothes?” Persephone shuddered. “Why any woman would wear baggy sweatpants and that horrid appliquéd shirt I'll never know.”

“She just needs some help.” Venus sipped her martini, then her eyes widened. “You know, I could help her!”

“What are you talking about?”

“That poor mortal with the bad hair. I could help her.” Venus nodded enthusiastically, talking quickly over Persephone's protestations. “I adore this realm, I mean
city
,” she corrected herself. “It's so much less depressing and banal than say, Troy.” She rolled her violet eyes. “I believe it would be exhilarating to make a mortal my own special project.”

“That's called community service here, and I can put you in touch with the downtown YWCA if you want to help the general populace—” Persephone began, but Venus cut her off.

“No, no, no. That's not personal enough. Think about it. To be advised, helped, coached, by the Goddess of Love herself! What a lucky mortal that would be.”

“Except no one here knows to ask for your aid. That's part of the beauty of the modern world. Remember?”

“Don't be so negative.”

“I'm not being negative. I'm being honest,” Persephone explained patiently. “Here you're not a goddess. You're a beautiful, desirable woman. You would only offend a plain little nothing like that unfortunate girl if you began offering unasked for advice.”

Venus sighed. “Fine. I understand that.” Then she brightened again. “But if someone did ask for my advice I'd be overjoyed to help. It would be fun. Much more fun than dealing with hardhearted Anaxarete, or that wretchedly annoying Psyche.”

Persephone shrugged. “If someone here asks for your advice I don't see any harm in you giving it.”

“Then we are in complete agreement. As if Love would ever butt in where she's not wanted.”

Persephone rolled her eyes.

“Did I notice a ladies' room somewhere in that direction?” Venus asked innocently, pointing vaguely past the bar.

“It's over there through that velvet curtain. But hurry, we need to get going. I just remembered that I promised Mother I would make an appearance in Eleusis tonight. You know, mustn't miss the great festival of Eleusinian Mysteries….” She mimicked Demeter's regal tone and then drained her martini and signaled for Jenny to bring their check.

“I know.” Venus shared an understanding look with Persephone. “Demeter does get so terribly serious about her festivals. Don't worry. I'll hurry. Oh, don't want to forget this.” She grabbed the Pricilla's Toy Box shopping bag and carried it with her as she walked quickly past the bar, almost ignoring the beautiful men who definitely weren't ignoring her. Even distracted as she was she spared them a small smile and automatically slowed her pace so that her hips moved with a beckoning, seductive roll, causing the firemen to fall silent, hypnotized by her beauty. Venus almost didn't notice. Almost.

She ducked through the curtain and followed the sign that pointed her to the left. The ladies' room wasn't big, but it was neat and very clean. Velvet curtained stalls lined the wall in front of her. She was admiring the way the burgundy fabric seemed to glitter in the light from the vintage chandelier that dangled overhead when she heard the oddest thing.

Someone was speaking her name…. No, it was more than that. Someone was invoking her aid! How extraordinary. Quietly she moved forward. The poor belching mortal with the unkempt hair was standing before one of the antique sinks. Staring into the mirror, she was reciting an ancient invocation spell. The words wrapped around Venus like a lovely silken robe, caressing her skin and filling her with what felt suddenly like magical warmth.

“Pleasure, joy, delight and bliss, oh dear Venus, grant me this. With love and hope I call to thee, work your magic just for me. Beautiful Venus, blessed be, happiness and ecstasy are the gifts I ask from thee!”

As the invocation concluded Venus felt a tremendous tug within her, as if something was compelling her very soul to listen to this mortal's cry. She rushed forward, and still holding the Pricilla's Toy Box bag, she spread her arms dramatically.

“Of course I shall aid you!” Venus cried.

Pea gasped and whirled around, her hand going to her throat. “Oh, shit! You scared me. I thought I was alone in here.”

Venus frowned mildly. “Not quite the reception I usually receive when I personally answer an invocation.”

“What do you mean? Who are you?”

“Venus, of course. And your name is?”

“Pea,” she said automatically.

“Pea? What an odd name. Are you quite certain?”

“Of course I'm certain. It's
my
name. Well, actually it's my nickname but it's what everyone calls me.” Then Pea blinked, shaking her head like she was trying to clear it while her mind caught up with her words. “Who did you say you were?”

“Venus, the Goddess of Sensual Love, Beauty and the Erotic Arts,” she replied a little smugly, using the most formal of her titles.

Pea's mouth flopped open.

“You besought my aid, and gladly I offer it to you!” Venus proclaimed with a flourish that made the tissue paper in her shopping bag rustle.

Pea closed her mouth, opened it and then closed it again.

“I understand. You must be overwhelmed with delight.” She walked around Pea, clucking her tongue softly. “We do have considerable work to do.” Venus reached out and touched her appliquéd
ballet IS the pointe
shirt as if it were a rare insect she had the misfortune to discover. Then she shifted her attention to Pea's hair. Shaking her head she said, “By Aeolus's gaseous anus, we must do something about this first.”

“What?”

“Your hair, of course. You don't
brush
it, do you?”

“Of course I brush it. What else am I supposed to—” Pea broke off, passing a hand across her forehead and looking utterly confused. “Look. I don't want to be rude, but how is my hair your business?”

“You invoked my aid. I remember exactly what you asked for—you said, ‘Happiness and ecstasy are the gifts I ask from thee.' I already told you that I'm answering your plea. I'm here to help you find happiness and ecstasy. Clearly you can't find either with such misbehaving hair.”

“Okay. Well. Hmm. That's nice of you. I guess. And I appreciate your, uh, interest, but I'm fine. Really.” She started to move carefully around Venus like she was afraid the woman might suddenly explode.

“I saw you run in here because you were embarrassed,” Venus said gently. “I don't think you are truly fine.”

Pea's cheeks flushed, but she put on a gay smile. “Oh, that's just me. I embarrass myself all the time. I'm used to it.”

“If that were true, why does your smile not reach your eyes?”

“It does. I just…I'm…” Pea floundered. “I have to go.” She rushed toward the door.

“If you would wash it and then apply a small amount of coconut oil, comb it only with your fingers and let it dry naturally I believe you could begin to tame your hair.”

Pea stopped short of the door. Turning, she met Venus's kind gaze. “Coconut oil?”

She nodded. “Pure coconut oil of the highest quality you can acquire. And it is of the utmost importance that you stop combing your hair. Do only this.” Venus ran her fingers gently through her own thick, silver-blond tresses, starting at her scalp. “And you must do this, too, to help encourage the curls to be round and full instead of…” She paused, searching for the right words. “Instead of willful and unruly like the wild mane of a lioness.” Venus reached up and scrunched handfuls of her hair, pretending to have errant curls instead of glistening waves.

“That works?” Pea said hesitantly. “Really?”

“Would Love lie to one who has invoked her aid?” Venus smiled benevolently.

Pea chewed the side of her lip, her expression telegraphing that she was torn between being intrigued and being certain she was talking with a crazy person. “Thank you,” she finally said, good manners winning out over all other considerations. “I'll try it.”

Venus cocked her head to the side thoughtfully. “Now, before we begin to repair your rather unfortunate manner of dress, I need to know if you are pleasuring yourself regularly.”

“Ohmygod! You did not just ask me that!”

“Of course I did, darling.” Wrinkling her brow, Venus tried not to show her frustration at the mortal's apparent lack of intelligence. “It's a completely natural question. If you're not pleasuring yourself properly, how can you expect—”

“Stop! After the day I've had I can't take any more.”

“I'm just trying to help.”

“Weirdly, I almost believe you.”

With sudden inspiration, Venus pressed the Pricilla's bag into Pea's hands. “Consider this a gift from your goddess.”

Awkwardly, Pea took the package and began backing toward the curtained door, obviously deciding it was easier to go along with the woman and escape than to argue with her about gifts and masturbation. “Okay, well, again, I say thanks and I'll definitely take your hair care advice, if you will take a piece of advice from me in return.”

“How unusual—a mortal giving a goddess advice. Tulsa is such a refreshing place.” Venus looked curious and eager. “Please, enlighten me.”

“From now on go easy on the martinis.” Pea smiled nervously and ducked back through the curtain.

“That certainly didn't go as expected,” Venus said to herself. Still trying to understand how a mortal could ask for and then reject her aid, she walked through the thick curtain and reentered the bar area of the restaurant just in time to see Pea trip up the little bar step and drop the Pricilla's bag—right in front of the row of firemen. The huge phallus rolled out of the bag to land, vibrating cheerfully, at the feet of a man who was so exceptionally handsome that Venus wondered that she hadn't noticed him earlier. He bent to retrieve it. Holding it carefully, he offered it back to poor, embarrassed Pea.

“Ma'am, I believe you dropped this.”

Speechless, Pea stared in horror back and forth from the vibrating penis to the handsome fireman.

“Ma'am?” The men around him were chuckling, but valiantly he managed to keep a sober expression. Then his eyes widened in recognition. “Aren't you Pea? My neighbor with the Scottie who thinks she's a cat? The brownies you left at the station were good.”

Pea took the phallus from him, turned it off and dropped it back into the shopping bag. Venus noticed that her face was flaming red and she looked ready to cry, but when she finally spoke her voice was filled with self-effacing cheerfulness. “That's me—Pea! Your neighbor, the Scottie cat's mom, loud burper, owner of a humongous vibrating penis and excellent brownie baker. I'd love to stay and talk with you, Griffin, but I'm off to embarrass myself fully somewhere else. I just reached my limit here.” Then, with the men's laughter following her out the door, Pea dropped some money on her table, picked up her book and fled.

“Pathetic. Truly pathetic,” Persephone said.

“I should zap them into silence,” Venus said. Her fingers twitched as she narrowed her eyes dangerously at the still laughing row of virile men.

“Venus, no, don't…”

She ignored Persephone and continued to glare at the men. The most handsome of them, the one who had been somewhat polite to Pea, met her eyes and Venus was caught by the blueness of his dark-lashed gaze. He nodded at her with a faint smile lifting his lips. The goddess reminded herself sternly that, no matter how chivalrous he had appeared, he was still part of the group of men who had laughed at Pea, so she should ignore him. But there was something about the sparkle in his eyes…the handsome tilt of his full lips…and especially about the way he looked at her—confident and openly appreciative, which was so different from the way even the most warriorlike of the ancient mortals ever dared look at her—that Venus didn't look away…couldn't look away. And that's when it happened. That
spark
. That lovely, inexplicable sizzle that sometimes happens between people that not even Love herself can always predict.

“Venus, would you please pay attention! I said don't do anything to them. You really shouldn't punish them. The mortal is obviously a ridiculous young woman.”

“She is not!” Venus reluctantly pulled her gaze hastily away from the intriguing man and snapped at Persephone with an unusual show of temper. Her head was oddly fuzzy and she was suddenly feeling like she might cry. “She just needs some help. She's actually sweet. Confused, perhaps, but sweet.”