God Only Knows (29 page)

“And I may have been proven right,” Jake replied, shrugging. “I just didn’t realize you and your secrets were the factor that
would doom the relationship.”

“No one says it’s doomed yet,” Lyle said, shaking his head and staring at Jake, who sat next to him. “For a pastor who counsels
his congregation, man, you have the light touch of a hammer sometimes.”

“I don’t have any illusions about winning her back,” Maxwell replied, raising a hand as if to defend Jake. “I was so caught
up in pride, man, so embarrassed that if Julia found out about Nia, it would validate her view of me as white-obsessed.”

“And because you weren’t honest with her from the start, she had that exact reaction.” Jake shrugged at Maxwell’s ungrateful
expression. “Just calling it like I see it.”

“Why don’t you two help me with the problem at hand?” Maxwell stirred some more cream into his coffee, mind whirring with
possible approaches. “Maybe I shouldn’t even go directly to Cassie. I’ve gotten pretty cool with her husband, Marcus, the
past few months. We’re not boys by any stretch, but I think he’d hear me out if I tried to recruit him to convince Cassie
to meet with Edna.”

“Couldn’t hurt,” Jake said after taking a swig of orange juice.

“I have to agree,” Lyle said, sliding his now-empty plate forward.

Jake tented his hands, looking pensive. “When you first had Julia make the invitation for her to speak with Edna, what were
the reasons for her saying no?”

“I didn’t get any reasons,” Maxwell said. “Julia just said Cassie was too overwhelmed with trying to figure out whether her
confession would require going to trial or whether she’d get some plead-down charge if they buy her claims of self-defense.
I mean, it’s understandable; she’s got three kids and a husband whose life revolves around keeping her out of jail.”

“That’s still no excuse,” Lyle replied. “I mean, if she chose to confess, you’d think she’d realize the impact that has on
Eddie’s family. I never liked the kid back in the day —we all know how he was —but even I’ve lived the past twenty years viewing
him through the most possibly sympathetic lens. Who would have imagined that he deserved his fate?” Lyle paused to glance
at his buzzing BlackBerry. “No parent ever wants to have to imagine that about their child.”

“Your characterization may be a bit harsh,” Maxwell said, finding his appetite had disappeared, though his plate was still
full. While he withheld no personal secrets from his boys, he was still burdened by the secret account Julia had shared with
him. “I think some would say that even if Eddie tried to molest Cassie, he was still a kid at the time. God bless her for
fighting him off, but his incapacitation is still a tragedy in my book. If he’d survived to live a normal life, who’s to say
he wouldn’t have learned his lesson?”

“Grace,” Jake replied, shaking his head and stroking his chin. The pastor’s eyes took on a faraway look as he spoke so low,
it seemed he was thinking aloud. “Eddie would have been granted grace if God had kept him from the path of that truck. The
tough question is, why wasn’t he given that chance? I’ve asked the Lord that question for years.”

The three sat in silence until Maxwell suddenly slammed his coffee cup down. “Jake, you’ve prayed that question for how long?”

Lyle placed a hand to his mouth, but he glanced toward Jake. “You gonna answer the man’s question?”

“What?” Jake looked from Lyle to Maxwell, his eyebrows raised in apparent confusion. “I said I’ve been praying for understanding
about what happened to Eddie for years, ever since we were all kids,” he said, scratching his chin. “I’m pretty sure I’m not
the only one.”

“No, no,” Maxell replied, leaning across the table and seizing his friend with a stare. “You did not say that. You said you’ve
asked God
for years
why Eddie wasn’t spared to learn that his sexual assault against Cassie was wrong, why he didn’t get the grace required to
grow into a more well-adjusted adult.” Maxwell leaned so far across the table that he tipped the booth table up on one end.
“Cassie just revealed a few weeks ago her involvement in that night. How did you know about it
for years
?”

J
ohn Bullett, the president of Christian Light’s Board of Education, opened the conference room door when Julia knocked. “Dr.
Turner,” he said, nodding respectfully as he held the door open for her. “How are you this evening?”

“Thankful, John,” she replied, a grim smile on her lips. “Thankful that the Lord’s keeping me on my feet at least.”

“I see,” the grizzled Vietnam vet replied. “This is the first board meeting I’ve ever known you to be late for. Usually you’re
here half an hour before the rest of us.”

Yes, well, that was when I needed to impress you,
Julia thought. John and the rest of the board would understand soon enough. Sliding on past him and taking a seat at the
head of the long conference table, she gently set her leather portfolio down. Staring at its cover, she felt paranoia kick
in. The fear that everyone in the room suddenly had X-ray vision gripped her, fear that they could see beneath her portfolio
cover to view the resignation letter she had just printed back in her office.

Because she was late, Julia’s backside had barely hit the seat when Bullett called the meeting to order. As various members
read off minutes and pulled her into exchanges about daily operations, as well as the status of the Board of Advisors’ fund-raising
efforts, Julia held her game face. Answering every question with unfailing competence, she felt her stomach rumble with unease.
How could she leave this job, this school system that —for all its warts —had shaped her? Was the move really what was best
for Amber? She found herself tempted to ditch the resignation letter until fifty minutes later, when the first dreaded question
of the day surfaced.

“About this media blackout you’ve enforced lately,” John asked when they came to the “new business” section of the agenda.
“Julia, I understand that you’re not being very communicative with the media lately, ever since Cassandra Gillette’s scandalous
accusations about poor Eddie Walker hit the news. I don’t mean to put you on the spot —”

“Oh, John,” Julia replied, reaching inside her portfolio for the first time, “of course you do.”

“Now don’t get snippy with me, at least not yet,” he continued, chuckling nervously. Bullett had been forced to hire Julia
three years ago when the board overruled him to make her their choice as superintendent, and six months later, he had told
her personally that she’d finally won him over. That didn’t change the fact that he still enjoyed putting a young black woman
in her place every now and again. “I want to make sure that we’re not disadvantaging the school, just because you’re in the
middle of this controversy. We’re all well aware of your close friendship with Mrs. Gillette.”

“You are aware of that friendship,” Julia said slowly, her eyes meeting Bullett’s first and then traveling around the table,
“because I informed you of it the morning that Cassandra’s confession hit the news.” She snared the copy of her resignation
letter, slipped it toward her lap. “It seems, however, that that was not enough for some of you, so —”

The conference room door swung open suddenly, its
whoosh
causing Julia and everyone in the room to instinctively pivot in that direction. Marching into the room, Maxwell and Jake
stood shoulder to shoulder. Dressed in business suits with shirts and ties, they stood like two warriors primed for battle.

Recognizing them both, but openly befuddled, Bullett was the first to stand. “Dr. Simon, Pastor Campbell,” he said, “we’re
in session right now. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Mr. Bullett, everyone,” Maxwell replied, sending respectful nods around the table before walking over toward Julia. “We need
a few minutes of Dr. Turner’s time.”

Bullett glanced quizzically between Julia and the two intruders. “I’m not sure I understand why it couldn’t wait until after
we’re finished. We’ll just be a few more minutes before we have a break.”

Julia shivered as Maxwell stepped closer to her, so close she could feel his eyes scanning the text of her resignation letter.
“Respectfully, sir, you don’t have a few minutes.”

J
ake wiped a tear from his eye, then held out a hand to both Maxwell and Julia. “Let us pray.” They were seated in Julia’s
office, Jake and Maxwell on her couch, Julia in a desk chair she had pulled up in front of the couch.

Once he had finished his prayer, Jake collapsed back against the couch, seemingly gathering strength. “I saw the whole thing,”
he said, his gaze fixed to Julia’s.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” Julia replied, though she knew her sudden glance toward Maxwell had probably betrayed her.

Maxwell leaned forward, his eyes telling her he wished he could reach out a hand. “You can drop the scales, Julia.”

“No, let me go first.” Jake wiped his mouth, then folded his hands together. “Before I say any more, Julia, I hope you’ll
forgive me for my most recent sins against you. Ever since you returned to run the school, I’ve resented your presence in
Dayton.”

“Really.” Confused, Julia nodded respectfully.

“It was unnerving enough to see that Cassie stayed in the area, but when you came back,” Jake continued, “I just knew it was
a matter of time before the truth about Eddie came out.” He tapped his chest. “It was the Holy Spirit, I guess, a clear sensation
in here telling me that the truth had to be told eventually. It may not shock you to hear that my flesh wasn’t excited about
that possibility.” He glanced over at Maxwell. “Then you had the nerve to start dating my friend! I can’t defend it, but I
really wanted you gone. I have a blessed life, one that doesn’t need the complications presented by Cassie’s confession.”

Julia frowned. “Why would Cassie’s confession complicate
your
life?”

“Because I know she’s only telling part of the truth.” Jake’s posture solidified. “Julia, I was out there in the bushes the
night Eddie tried to mess with Cassie. I had slipped out there with Angie Jones, if you remember her, during the bonfire.
My father helped run the whole bonfire and postgame activities, so I had time to kill while he was cleaning up and stuff.

“Angie and I were out there doing our thing, you know, heavy petting and all the stuff I don’t want any of my girls doing
at thirteen. After a few minutes, Angie got scared that she would miss her ride home, so she took off. I don’t know why, but
I figured I’d sit down there in the brush and just take it easy for a few minutes. That’s when I heard Cassie run by, followed
closely by Eddie. They were fifty, maybe a hundred, yards away from me at most, but there was a tree with a fat trunk between
us and I crouched behind it.

“At first, I figured maybe they were actually fooling around, and you both know, that would have been big news back then.
I crouched for a minute to check them out, before realizing something was wrong. Eddie had Cassie pinned beneath him, and
she was whimpering in what sounded like pain. I still wasn’t sure what was happening until she kicked him at one point and
he reared back like he was going to hit her.”

Julia crossed her legs, and felt her expression harden. “You saw him hit her, and stayed hidden?”

“I’m under no delusions,” Jake replied, hands still clasped, head hung. “I was a coward. I’d never seen violence up close,
and hadn’t thought kids we knew were capable of it.”

“Let’s remember,” Maxwell said, “that Eddie was known for talking about the fact his family had guns around the house, and
that they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot ‘niggers.’ I can’t say how I would have reacted in that situation, Julia.”

Julia stared back at Maxwell, and despite the fact she’d written him off, she hoped her eyes sent the message
Any man who can’t keep me safe is no man.

“I believe I would have jumped into the thick of things,” Jake continued, “if you, Toya, and Terry hadn’t come along just
then. I can’t give a perfect blow-by-blow account, but I remember the most important moments. He pulled that knife, tried
to tell you all to stay back, until one of you rushed him. I’m pretty sure it was you, Julia.”

Julia dropped her head for a private reflection. “So I was right about that.”

Jake continued his recall of the girls’ confrontation with Eddie, corroborating Julia’s recall of her initial efforts to get
the knife, then validating Toya’s recall that she had bashed the boy’s forehead with a loose brick when he broke free of Terry’s
grasp.

“I think what left him most disoriented,” Jake said finally, “were those kicks Terry delivered to his head. They were pretty
brutal, not that he hadn’t asked for them by then.

“The four of you were gone within seconds,” he said, continuing. “I didn’t know what to think, really. I was impressed with
how well you all fought him off, ashamed of myself, and scared to death I’d be blamed for what had happened if I got involved.
God wouldn’t let me flee the scene, though. So after a few seconds, I went to Eddie. He was a mess —crawling on his knees,
coughing up blood, a huge welt on his forehead and blood dripping from a location I couldn’t quite figure out.

“I helped him to his knees, held his face for a minute while trying to help him focus. Once he had some of his bearings back,
he asked me, ‘Did you see what happened, Jake? You see what those baboons did to me?’ I ignored the slur, of course, what
was the point by then? I was in Good Samaritan mode, guys, praying for some way to get him home safely, but avoid this whole
thing starting a race war. I draped an arm of his over my shoulders, and started helping him back toward the soccer field,
where I knew my father and some other parents were still wrapping up from the bonfire and stuff. I told Eddie,” Jake said,
wincing at the memory, “that we’d get him some medical help, that my dad could drive him to a hospital. I also promised him
that if he would do the right thing and leave the girls out of it, I would never mention what I had seen. I told him, make
up any story you want —some neighborhood kids jumped you for your jacket, or just because you were being a smart mouth, I
didn’t care. Just leave the girls out of it, and I won’t tell about your assault on Cassie.” He raised his eyes to Julia’s.
“I guess I had already figured that you girls would never tell anyone.”