God Hates You, Hate Him Back: Making Sense of The Bible (13 page)

BOOK: God Hates You, Hate Him Back: Making Sense of The Bible
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Vengeance on the Midianites
 

God, the lord of war and supreme endorser of ethnic cleansing, commands Moses to take vengeance on the Midianites, because they lured the Israelites into sexual promiscuity and the worshipping of other Gods. I am not sure what part of the Ten Commandments the Israelites didn’t get when God articulated his jealous pride? I guess the lure of a good ole toga themed orgy made it much easier to praise the Baal of Poer rather than the sex hating celibate God!

 

Moses marshals 12,000 men (1,000 from each Israelite tribe) ready for battle and the trumpets of war are sounded. The war rages and as was commanded of Moses by God, the Israelites kill every man and take hostage all the women and children; herds; flocks; and goods as plunder. They razed all Midianite villages to the ground.

 

The military Generals return to Moses to report their victorious triumph in battle, but are soon shocked to learn that Moses, obviously taking his remorseless cues from his boss, is displeased with the army’s efforts.

 

Have you allowed all the women to live? Moses asked them. They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the Lord in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the Lord’s people. Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourself every girl who has never slept with a man.” (Numbers 31:15-18 NIV)
 

Now, in case you were skimming through this book, or your powers of concentration have waned during the past five minutes, I want to make sure that you didn’t miss the meaning of Moses’ orders, as written in the above passage. In essence, Moses demanded that his military slaughter all the captured Midianite boys. Even the Geneva Convention forbids the killing of defenceless innocents, which makes the articles of that far more moralistic than the Bible. Then, after all the boys aged 0-18 are hacked to death with spears and swords, in front of their mums and sisters, the soldiers are then to turn their attention to butchering all women that slept with the Israelite men. This is their punishment for passing on a sexually transmitted disease (although evidently Moses believes an STD to be a plague sent from God). The surviving girls and women are spared, but spared only to become sexual slaves of the Israelites. Holy fucking shit is right!

 

This passage of the Old Testament basically teaches us the following moral lesson: If you are a man and sleep with a woman by mutual consent, it is her fault for luring you towards her wicked breasts and veejayjay. Should you contract an STD, then that is too her fault for passing you a viral infection and she should be mercilessly punished by death for such dissent. Is it any wonder that the occurrence of religious inspired gang-rape/murder be on the rise?

 

[Article as featured on Australian news Commentary on August 4, 2006:]

 

Lebanese Muslim gang leader sentenced to 38 years jail for racially motivated pack-rapes of Australian girls.

 

Bilal Skaf, the leader of a Lebanese gang which perpetrated racially motivated pack-rapes on Australian teenage girls in Sydney in 2000, was last week sentenced to a further term of imprisonment. Added to the 28 years he is serving for other pack-rapes, his maximum term is 38 years. 

 

To show their disdain for Australian culture and Australian females, gangs of Lebanese Muslims carried out violent, racist pack-rapes on young Australian girls around Sydney in 2000. Over 50 young girls were pack-raped during this rampage.

 

Bilal Skaf, the leader of one gang organised the pack rape of a sixteen-year-old girl known as Miss D near a soccer field in the Sydney suburb of Gosling on the night of August 12, 2000. Fourteen Lebanese youths pack raped Miss D that night.

 

Anna Marshall

 

I don’t need to underscore the point, as I believe this article does it perfectly so.

 

Numbers Count: 15,300

 

God incinerated an unknown number of Israelites that complained during their wanderings in the Desert
again
= 100 as crude estimate.

 

God sent a great plague inflicted upon the Israelites for complaining about the food during their wanderings = 5000 as crude estimate out of 600,000 Israelites that left Egypt.

 

Slaughter of the Aradites = minimum estimate of 5,000.

 

God sent down a plague of snakes to bite the Israelites for complaining about a lack of food and beverage during their desert wanderings = 50 as crude estimate.

 

God helps Moses kill all of the Bashanites = 5000.

 

God opens up the ground to swallow Korah and his family for questioning Moses’ authority = 250.

 

Cumulative Count: 31,048,001

 
Chapter Five - The Book of Deuteronomy
 

I dislike blasphemy on purely rational grounds. If there is no God, blasphemy is stupid and unnecessary; if there is, then it’s damned dangerous.”
 

Flan O’Brien

 

The final book of the Torah and fifth book of the Old Testament is a set of three sermons delivered by Moses. The first sermon is a review of the previous forty years of walkabout in the desert and is also the continuation of the kind of maniacal madness we witnessed of Moses in the end passages of the book of Numbers. The second sermon is an elaboration of the laws and the way in which the Israelites must conduct themselves in the Promised Land. The third sermon articulates the blessings to the obedient and curses on the rebellious.

 

The start of Deuteronomy shows that God is evidently pissed off that the Israelites have been acting cowardly in their refusal to go forth and claim the Promised Land that God had allotted them. Moses launches into a tirade lambasting his people in a tone that can only be assumed to be of mockery:

 

You grumbled in your tents and said, ‘The Lord hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us. Their people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are larger, with walls up to the sky.’” (Deuteronomy 1:27-28 NIV)
 

What a bunch of namby-pamby, wimpy, whiney sods! The Israelites have God and Moses on their side, so what are they worried about? Up to now, their Lord had performed a shopping list of miracles and a bunch of vengeful acts that surely must have proved his powers, but evidently this was not good enough for this hard to impress lot. And Moses let them know all about it too, launching into a long diatribe reminding them of what God had done for his miserable bunch, from the exodus of Egypt through their endless wanderings in the desert to this point. With a gentle tap on the shoulder, Moses told them that if they didn’t pull their socks up, then more heaven-sent wrath was headed their way. Moses clearly had more patience than me, because I surely would’ve told them all to fuck off, stop following me and headed to the coastal plains with a few of the more attractive females to massage my shoulders to soothe me from the desert heat. That and blow jobs.

 

The first four chapters are a summary of forty years of wandering; a review of God’s covenants and laws; and a motivational pep talk to remind the Israelites that they were the people of God:

 

Ask now about the former days, long before your time, from the day God created man on the earth; ask from one end of the heavens to the other. Has anything so great as this ever happened, or has anything like it ever been heard of? Has any other people heard the voice of God speaking out of fire, as you have and lived? Has any god ever tried to take for himself one nation out of another nation, by testings, by miraculous signs and wonders, by war, by a military hand and an outstretched arm, or by great and awesome deeds, like all the things the Lord your God did for you in Egypt before your very eyes. You were shown these things so that you might know that the Lord is God; besides him there is no other.” (Deuteronomy 4:12-38 NIV)
 

Reading the Old Testament it is not difficult to see why, and I’m not taking sides here, the Jewish people will not give an inch in negotiating a lasting peace deal with the Palestinians. Why would you if you really believed God to be on your side? You’re the chosen people, right? When I read this kind of rhetoric I can’t help but draw similarities with this elitism propaganda and the lunatic rants of Adolf Hitler. I unreservedly apologize to my Jewish friends for making what seems a vulgar metaphot, but I’m just trying to make the point that whenever a leader convinces his people that they are ‘chosen’ and no nation will stand in their way, with a divine wind at their back, then history has proven to us time and time again that inevitably bad things follow.

 

Moses further reminds the Israelites of the Ten Commandments and the punishments that follow for disobedience. We are not afforded the luxury to forget that God is a jealous god and woe the retribution for those that dare worship another. Thus, some repetition of the preceding books of the Torah, until we get to chapter seven whereby Moses really ratchets up his murderous rhetoric to solicit the Israelite thirst for battle and blood, for conquer and conquest:

 

When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drive out before you many nations – the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hevities and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you – and when the Lord your God has delivered them to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them and show no mercy. Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.” (Deuteronomy 7:1-4 NIV)
 

“Make no treaty with them and show them no mercy.” Whoa! But Moses is just warming up here, takes a step back, wipes his forehead, enjoys a couple of deep breaths before launching further into this venomous spray:

 

This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols in the fire. For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasure possession.” (Deuteronomy 7:5-6 NIV)
 

Hmm, where have we heard such vitriol that stinks of intolerance and racial superiority? The tragic irony is that this language of intolerance resembles that of Hitler addressing (below) the German people in the Nuremberg rallies in the late-1920s:

 

The only thing we may be proud of is this: We have this value, we have our blood-building value, the best proof of which is the great men of world history over the millennia. We have this value of race and personality. We have a third value: a sense of battle. It is there, it is only buried under a pile of foreign doctrines. A large and strong party is attempting to prove the opposite, until suddenly an ordinary military band begins to play. Then the sleeper awakes from his dreams and begins to feel himself a member of a people that is on the march and he marches along. That is how it is today. We only need to show our people the better way. They see: we are marching already!
 

There had to be a way to build this unity at home and this was clear to them. Why was it possible at the front? Because of the enemy! Because one knew the danger that one faced. If I am to build unity among the people, I must first find a new front, a common enemy so that everyone knows: We must be united, because this enemy is the enemy of us all. If we are not united, the entire German people will sink into the abyss.
 

We National Socialists therefore make the holy promise never to rest in raising the honor of this flag, making it our symbol of self-discipline, obedience and order. Let it be to us a symbol of eternal struggle. We see in this flag the victorious sign of freedom and the purity of our blood. We want this flag to be a symbol of salvation, a sign that faith in these great possessions is alive in our people. May in the coming years a party rally occur at which five times as many people march, even if their sacrifice is still greater than ever before!” (Excerpts from Adolf Hitler’s Nuremburg Speech in 1927)
 

Experience has shown us that when you instil a belief into a people that they are racially and intellectually superior, then you create divisions. With divisions the propensity for violence is increased, as it is easier to inflict bigotry, segregation and atrocities on any individual who you mistakenly deem to be inferior to you. Further highlighting the moral failings of the Bible, and fundamental religious dogmas.

 

In chapter thirteen there is an expansion of the Ten Commandments, which is commonly referred to as the fundamentals of the Deuteronomic Code, which include extensive laws, admonitions and injunctions to the Israelites regarding how they ought to conduct themselves in Canaan, the land promised by the God of Israel.

 
Religious Freedom
 

If there is any passage of the Bible that proves that Christianity is every bit as dangerous a doctrine as the Islamic Koran, it is this. This is an edict from God to murder those that believe in other religions. This is religious intolerance at its ugliest and most brutal.

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