Goblin Moon (14 page)

"
You? Afraid?
It would be easier to elicit that emotion from a brick. You're not the type."

"You have me all pegged, don't you?"

"It isn't us you have to fear. Those in our world live by a few simple rules. Chief among these is that we do no harm except in self defense. It's
your
world that should frighten you."

"You're right. It does. That's one reason why I'm back. The other is that I don't want my baby born into it."

"So having discovered you
are
pregnant, I'm surprised you didn't abort it or later give birth and throw it into a trash receptacle like some of your kind do."

She gasped. “You think I'd do that?"

"You tell me. You never considered an abortion?"

"I did, but that decision isn't right for me."

He moved toward her until only the span of a breath separated them. “Why not, Kathy? That kind of thing is done all the time? Why wouldn't you just kill it?"

"According to you, it's as good as dead anyway. But I'm not giving up like
you
, Tearach. I'm back because I believe in trying until the end. Quit blaming the people in my world for killing children when you've decided to bury your own child before it's even born!"

He was momentarily taken aback. She'd turned the conversation against him. Now, he was the one on the defensive. Before he could think of a response, she started to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going?"

She turned back around. “To find Cairna. It's obvious you won't accept an apology. Maybe she will. In your family, she seems the more levelheaded person."

Pure, raw fury gripped him. Latching onto her arm, he pulled her against his chest. “You're judging me? It wasn't so long ago you agreed that there was no proof this baby would survive."

She hung her head in shame. “Yes, I did agree with that. But my mind has changed in the last few weeks. This baby is going to live no matter what it takes. You're not going to use it as an excuse for your hatred, though I'm sure you'll find some other reason. People who hate always do."

For a long moment he stared at her. The rage he felt had no voice. There was no way to articulate it. He'd hated no one until Exmoor had given him cause.

Kathy pulled away from him and walked into the forest, and he yelled after her, “Stay away from Cairna. You've done enough to hurt her."

Kathy was on the verge of delivering a sarcastic retort when the subject of their discussion emerged from the woods. Cairna stood in front of them, glancing from one to the other.

"I want to hear what she has to say, Uncle Tearach. I want to know why she attacked you and broke her promise to me."

"Go on, Kathy. Explain it to her.” Tearach leaned again a tree and belligerently crossed his arms over his chest.

Kathy turned toward the younger girl and spoke softly. “There's no excuse for my having broken my promise. I guess I panicked. I didn't believe I was pregnant, and I thought the Sorceress would do whatever it took to make sure I conceived. Having your life manipulated that way isn't acceptable. And it's more that just a little frightening."

"Go on,” Cairna encouraged.

"You're not going to believe anything she says, are you, Cairna? She's an outsider. They don't know the meaning of keeping their word.” Tearach snorted. He remembered how upset Cairna had been, and now her expression said she was about to fall into the same trap again. Her heart was too soft, too forgiving.

"I want to hear Kathy out.” Cairna responded.

Kathy took a deep breath. “It was wrong of me to leave. Wrong of me to attack Tearach. I'm sorry for it, and I want to come back, especially now that I'll need your help so very much."

"You mean ... with ... with the baby?” Cairna asked.

"Yes. Please help me, Cairna. I need someone who wants this baby to live."

Tearach pushed himself away from the tree and pounded the trunk with one massive fist. “You think I don't want my own child to survive? That I want to see its body cremated like all the others?"

Cairna came to Kathy's defense. “You've only said that it won't live about a hundred-thousand times. And I heard Kathy when she told you that she had the chance to abort it and wouldn't. I believe her. She wants to come back and have her baby here."

That did it. Kathy had placed a divisive wedge between him and Cairna. He wouldn't have it. No one was taking away the only family he had left. The one thing he loved more than all else. “Cairna, you listen to me..."

"No! I love you Uncle Tearach, but I trust the Sorceress. And Kathy wants the same thing everyone else does. Everyone wants this but you. You're the one who sees the future all black and hopeless. I can't ... do it.” She began to sob. “I j-just can't see it that way. I want a baby of my own some day. I don't want to think like you. You're hateful!"

He moved forward to pull her into his arms, but it was Kathy she turned to. It was Kathy who held and comforted her. Tearach backed away feeling as though he'd been struck the cruelest blow of his life.

Kathy saw the sorrow on Tearach's face and felt overwhelming pity. He had hated for so long it was all he had left besides his beloved niece. Now, he'd lost Cairna.

"She's upset, Tearach. I'm partly to blame.” The girl continued to sob against her shoulder as Kathy held her and stroked her back. “She'll feel differently, later."

"No, I won't,” came Cairna's muffled cry. “It's better if he just leaves. He won't listen to anyone."

"Cairna, darling.” Tearach moved toward her. “I..."

Cairna raised her tear-streaked face and interrupted him. “Don't! I don't want to hear anything else. You accused Kathy of breaking her promise, but she's sorry.
You've
broken your promise to me, too, but you don't even care."

Tearach felt his heart cracking into pieces. He had to get Cairna back. “Sweetheart, what promise? What are you talking about?"

"The one you made to me about trying. Remember?” She sniffed and fresh tears started.

That seemed like such a long time ago. He'd promised her he'd try to believe in what the Sorceress was doing. Perhaps part of what Cairna said was true. But the chance he'd given the outsider had resulted in him almost having his skull crushed in, having Cairna disillusioned, and in endangering everyone in the entire Order.

"Cairna, let's go home and talk about..."

"No. I don't want to be around you anymore. J-just go away. It hurts too much to know you don't want your own baby.” She began to cry in earnest.

Tearach backed away. Cairna had never spoken to him like this before. She was crying so hard he was afraid she'd be ill and all he wanted to do was hold her. The only other time she'd been so distraught was when her parents had died, and she had always come solely to him when she needed comfort. Now, she not only didn't need him, but she didn't want him. That hurt worse than anything since Exmoor. It was as if he was reliving that horror all over again.

Kathy's vision blurred with tears when she saw Tearach's expression go blank. He turned and quietly walked into the forest, and her heart went with him. She hadn't meant for this to happen. She hadn't expected Cairna to forgive her and turn against the only family she had. But Cairna wanted a future, and Tearach had put her in the horrible position of deciding between her loyalty and love for him and a family of her own one day. Since her uncle couldn't bring himself to see anything but death and destruction ahead, Cairna made her choice on the side of hope.

"I've given her something that will make her sleep,” Shayla explained as she descended the stairs toward Kathy. “Some of our people are still looking for Tearach. Only a Goblin could have left this place without our knowing."

Tearach had been gone for more than a week and Cairna blamed herself. The girl was so upset she'd refused to eat or drink. Kathy had become so concerned for her health that she'd finally called into the nearby woods for someone to send for Shayla. There had been a small rustling in the treetops and the Sorceress had appeared less than twenty minutes later.

Kathy carelessly pushed her hair back. “Where do you think he could have gone? Cairna says he can't take human form for more than a few hours. What if he gets caught somewhere while in Goblin form?"

Shayla stood at the bottom of the stairs and quizzically watched the younger woman's pacing.

"Why would you care?"

"Whatever else you think of me, I'm not a monster. I don't want anything to happen to him."

"If I thought you were anything other than what you are, I'd have never allowed you into these sacred woods,” Shayla proclaimed. “As for Tearach, I can't imagine too many protected harbors for him. But if anyone can stay safe, he can.” She paused and then said, “You still haven't told me why you'd care what happens to him."

"I was hoping to work things out with him, get past my having run off to London. By the way, you've not only just admitted it, but I'd long since figured out that you more or less manipulated my escape."

Shayla kept silent, stepped off the staircase and walked to the liquor cabinet. She poured herself a sherry.

Kathy continued without waiting for her comments. “I'm a fast runner, but everything happened too conveniently. My guess is that you were gambling on my running and coming back when I confirmed I was pregnant. What I don't understand is how you knew I wouldn't walk into some clinic and have the baby aborted."

"You were chosen to come here because of you're ability to reason. The last thing we needed was an outsider who had no control over her emotions or judgment."

"I wasn't thinking all that clearly the day I ran."

"But you came back, just as I knew you would. And you're still carrying the baby.” She paused and shook her head. “Tearach is a fool. He has every reason to be celebrating, yet he's still consumed with thoughts of death. He can't bring himself to believe that eight years of tragedy are over."

"Maybe he isn't able to accept he could be happy,” Kathy quietly responded.

Shayla was about to raise her glass and sip when someone pounded on the cottage door. Kathy rushed forward and opened it. Lore was there, and several large men stood behind him.

"We've found him. Actually, he was returning by himself. When he was approached and asked where he'd been, he refused to answer. One of the men persisted, and I'm afraid there was an almighty row,” Lore told them.

"He fought?” Shayla asked as she lifted her drink and finished it with one swallow.

"That's a gentle way of putting it. Three of my men are hurt. The way they tell it, Tearach went crazy. Tearach is one of my closest friends, Sorceress, but his behavior has to be addressed. I can't have him beating my people to a bloody pulp."

Shayla slammed her glass down upon a nearby table. “Put that damned man in a room from which he can't escape. If he tries anything else, clear some supplies out of the castle dungeon and throw him in it. Chain him if you have to."

Kathy gasped in disbelief at the medieval command. “What are you going to do to him?"

"I told you that if you ran away while in Tearach's care, I'd have him beaten. I might have rescinded that order because you attacked the man while he slept. But I won't have disrespect and unprovoked fighting among our people. Tearach is a leader and should know better. Whatever his problems are, he can't go about attacking others."

Kathy watched as Shayla stalked out the door and away from the cottage. She barely registered footsteps racing down the stairs.

"I heard everything. She didn't give me nearly enough herbs to make me sleepy,” Cairna blurted. “You have to stop her, Kathy!” Cairna came to a halt in the open cottage door. The Sorceress was nowhere in sight. She turned, covered her face with her hands and collapsed onto the floor, sobbing.

"Hush, Cairna. We'll find a way out of this. She doesn't want him dead or the guards would have already done the job.” Kathy knelt and fiercely hugged the crying girl.

"Go to him,” she begged. “Please, talk to him so he doesn't do something worse. He's never been like this. I don't understand. Is he doing this because I told him to go away?"

"No, darling. I think he's angry with the entire world. But I'll go and talk with him right now."

"Will you,
please
?"

"Yes, right now,” she repeated while using a soft, even tone. It was a technique she'd found helpful as both a firefighter and a paramedic. When someone was very frightened, they needed a steady presence. But she was frightened, too. “I want you to go upstairs and wait. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I want to come with you."

"Why don't you see Tearach in the morning? He and I need to straighten some things out between us. All right?"

Cairna nodded. “I understand."

Kathy walked toward the door. “I won't let anyone stop me from seeing him, Cairna. That's a promise I won't break."

"Tell him I love him and that I'll be there to say so in the morning."

Kathy pasted on a smile she hoped would look comforting. “I'll tell him. Now try and get some rest. He wouldn't want you so upset."

She watched as the girl walked up the stairs. Then she threw open the door and walked determinedly into the night. If Shayla tried to keep her from Tearach, she'd tear the entire castle apart, brick by brick. Kathy had never before been so afraid for anyone, or so angry
with
anyone. She didn't stop to analyze the contradiction of feelings. The closer she got to the castle, the more urgent it became to see him. She began to run.

Kathy pounded on the double oak doors with the brass leonine knocker. It created a sound that could have awakened the dead. An elegant, older man she recognized as the Sorceress’ assistant, Hugh, opened the door and let her in.

"I'm here to find Tearach. Will you take me to him?"

The man nodded. “Shayla thought you'd come. I'll take you to him, but don't be surprised if you find him uncommunicative. He wanted to fight again, and she had him restrained."

As the man led her to the back of the castle, Kathy imagined all sorts of barbaric rituals or tortures the older woman would inflict. The hierarchy in this place seemed to be loosely based upon some kind of feudal system, although she realized it might have been the only way these people had survived.