Go Big (36 page)

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Authors: Joanna Blake

BOOK: Go Big
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So I put down mine instead. We were married so he should be covered. I hoped.

That was the first time I really thought about that. I was married to a stripper. A very, very talented stripper.

I watched him joking with the nurses as they cleaned his wounds. He was brave and charming and could be so much more. He could do almost anything he set his mind to. I knew it. I wondered if he did too.

I knew that cocky bravado hid a sensitive, sweet person.

Well, partially anyway.

After about an hour a doctor came to speak to me.

“Mrs. Jacobs, your husband has an infection. He will need to stay here for a few days. I suggest you go home and get some rest. He’s mostly out of the woods.”

I was filled with relief. And the wonder of being called Mrs. Jacobs. That was the first time anyone had ever called me that.

A warm feeling filled me. It wasn’t just because I knew Chan was going to be okay. It was knowing that I belonged to him now.

It was official.

“Thank you. I’d prefer to stay if possible.”

She nodded and smiled at me.

“We can arrange for a cot.”

“Thank you.”

I followed as they moved him to another room. It was late. By morning he would have visitors. They had given him something for the pain and he was half asleep as I settled into the cot for the night.

I lay there staring at the ceiling for the longest time.

I had almost made the biggest mistake of my life. Chan hadn’t just woke me up to the truth. He had saved me. I would spend the rest of my life wondering how I had let myself be fooled.

Chan would be okay, that was the important part.

Other than that, I had no idea of what the future might bring.

Chapter Nineteen

Chandler

The doctor was so nice. I smiled at her. I felt fantastic.

I was ready to get up and dance.

Only problem was my pesky limbs. They felt like lead. But other than that, I felt fantastic.

“How do you feel?”

“Good. Very good.”

My voice felt sticky somehow. Slow. Like I was a record spinning at the wrong speed.

She was looking at my bullet wound. They’d already unstitched it and flushed it with antibiotic fluids. Now it was starting to itch.

“Itches.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow at me. Caro was on the other side of the bed. She watched everything anxiously.

“I won’t ask how you got this wound.”

Caro took my hand.

“We appreciate that.”

“But whoever stitched you up did a fantastic job.”

I started to speak but Caro squeezed my hand.

“I won’t ask about that either.”

Caro looked relieved so I smiled again. Actually, maybe I’d been smiling all along…

“He’ll be good to go in a few days. But he’ll need someone to clean his wounds, make sure he takes his pills, etc.”

“I can do that.”

“That’s my responsibility.”

I turned my head to see my grandmother standing in the door. She was glaring at Caro. The old woman was more than a little intimidating.
 

“I’ll give you two a few minutes alone.”

“Do that, Missy.”

It must have been the drugs but I was actually happy to see the old harpy. She frowned at me, scolding me for getting shot. Then she scolded me for running around with loose women. Then she scolded me for not coming home to visit more.

By the time Caro came back I was drifting off.

I didn’t hear my grandmother telling her to leave. The next time I opened my eyes it was late at night and I was alone.

In the morning I woke to see familiar faces swarm the room. Friends, family, even people I didn’t know all that well had come to see me. It was practically a ticker tape parade.

I was exhausted after less than a half-hour of well wishers. One of the nurses came and shooed them out again. She checked my bandages and gave me another dose of pain meds.

It was dark again when I opened my eyes. The lights were out. A blond head rested against my shoulder.

“I missed you beautiful…”

A gasp from the doorway caught my attention.

I squinted in the dim light.

The girl holding my hand wasn’t my bride.

It was someone else. Someone familiar. It took me a second to figure out who.

It took me another second to realize what was happening.

Caro was in the doorway, staring at me with tears in her big beautiful eyes.

Carolina

I walked quickly through the hospital, clutching the cup of tea I’d gone to get in the cafe. I’d been gone less than fifteen minutes but still Chan had managed to move on. I threw it out in the trash on my way to the parking lot. I turned my face as I passed the nurses and doctors in the hallway.

I didn’t want them to see me crying.

Hot tears of humiliation stung my cheeks.

Not just humiliation.

Heartbreak. Betrayal.

And yet I wasn’t surprised.

I knew Chan. I knew his appeal. I knew his appetite for women.

He could have any woman he wanted, really.

I stopped abruptly, finally outside in the darkness. Why would he want me? A stuck up prude?

He had probably laughed at me the whole time we’d been in bed together. He was so skilled, so experienced. And I was a boring goodie two shoes. One he’d had to marry just to get into bed. I was certain he’d been bored to tears once he’d had me there.

I shook my head. That wasn’t true. He hadn’t been bored. He’d been… thrilled.

That much I was certain of. He had wanted me then. He must have just moved on already.

But with Leah of all people?

That stung.

I knew they dated in high school. But he dated everyone back then.

Heck, so had Leah.

She was very sexy and she knew it. She had long blond hair like mine, but that’s where the resemblance ended. Her curves were exaggerated. Her lips, extra pouty. And from what I had heard, she was very, very good at what she did.

Which was basically everything.

I wasn’t one to gossip. It wasn’t Christian. But if you heard something over and over again, it was hard to ignore.

Sugar!

I banged my head getting into the car. Then the tears started in earnest. It was over. I’d had my little fling. Now it was time to pick up the broken pieces and start over somewhere new.

I’d visit with my mom and nana for a few days and then leave. Pack up my apartment in Miami. Then go… anywhere.

Anywhere but here.

I could get an annulment. I didn’t believe in divorce, but a 48-hour marriage didn’t really count. Especially when the groom moved on that quickly.

I felt an unfamiliar twisting sensation in my chest.

I knew what it was.

It was my heart breaking.

Chapter Twenty

Chandler

“Caro. Please answer my call.”

I slammed the phone down. She was refusing to see me. Still. It had been days.

I was still on bed rest.

I stared at the pain meds by my bed. I stared at the faded flowers that yet another friend had brought by my Grandmother’s house. I stared at the cheap wedding ring on my left hand. I’d finally found it in the bag of stuff they sent home from the hospital. It felt good to slide it back onto my finger.

No one had noticed that today. Or even asked. And no one had seen or heard from Caro.

Not even Katey.
 

It seemed my bride had had second thoughts about marrying me after all.

For all her love words. All her sweetness. All her passion… she didn’t want me.

I knew she was better than me. It was painfully obvious. She would probably be better off.

The thought of her with someone else felt like a knife in my chest. Cold and painful. I closed my eyes, clenching my fists.

Was I just going to give up on her? Let her walk out of my life? I felt like I didn’t have a choice. She wasn’t giving me one.

Fuck that.

I pushed myself to my feet. I was weak, sure. But that wasn’t going to stop me.

Nothing was.

Not even Caro.

“Where do you think you are going?”

“Out.”

My grandmother stared at me, her mouth pressed in a thin line.

“No, you are not!”

“I need to see Carolina.”

“That girl! When are you going to stop chasing every pretty little thing that comes your way?”

I pulled a pressed shirt on, buttoning it as I stared the old woman down.

“Caro is not a pretty little thing. She’s a strong, bright, independent woman. I’ve been in love with her since before I knew what that even meant.”

Gran’s mouth dropped open.

“And I’m the luckiest man alive. Because she deigned to be my wife.”

“You’re what???”

I grinned at her, bussing her cheek. I held up my left hand, wagging the fingers at her.

“I’m a married man, Gran. I hope you can be happy for me.”

She followed me to the door.

“Was this a proper church wedding?”

I slipped my shoes on and grimaced.

“Um, kind of. Does the chapel of love count?”

“No it does not! I expect a proper wedding.”

I stared at her. Was she actually on my side for once in my life? She shooed me out the door.

“I heard she’s leaving town. You better hurry up and get her back!”

I grinned at her as she held out her cane.

“You better take this.”

I hugged her tightly, surprised by how much it meant to have her approval for once in my life.

Then I strode down the front walkway, trying to look confident and not to fall on my ass in the process.

The sun was shining. Birds were singing. People waved as I walked as fast as I could toward the edge of town.

I was going to get my wife.

Carolina

“Chandler Jacobs?”

I nodded sheepishly. They glanced at each other, then back at me. My mother and nana were sitting on the porch, watching as I carried out another box of my childhood possessions.

It was time to put away childish things, as the bible said.

“It’s okay. I can get an annulment.”

“Excuse me Miss?”

I glanced at my Gran and blushed.

“It’s just that easy? Just like that?”

My mother smiled at me kindly. She’d mellowed out a lot in the past few years. I think living with her mother-in-law was good for her. Having someone to take care of again gave her life purpose.

“Are you sure that’s what you want, sweetheart?”

I nodded.

“It’s for the best. Chan’s a good guy. He’s just better off single I think.”

“What about you?”

I forced a smile.

“I’ll get over it.”

I went inside to get another box. Everything was going to goodwill. I wasn’t coming back here. Not for a long time.

Not if Chan was still in town.

I might be brave enough to walk away, but I wasn’t brave enough to watch him with other women. Especially Leah Polner.

I sighed, picking up my plane ticket. In 12 hours I would be back in Miami. Shari was picking me up. She knew the deal.

She promised to help me pack and find a place to go. Someplace I could get a teaching job. Anyplace that didn’t have so many painful memories.

She offered to get me drunk too.

I declined.

I pulled a sweater over my old sundress. It was getting chilly already. I liked it though.

It suited the cold spot in my heart.

“I think someone is here to see you sweetheart.”

My mother was standing in the doorway, smiling at me. I knew who it was without having to ask. It was Chan.

It had to be.

I sighed and nodded.

Might as well get this over with.

I walked outside, hugging my arms around my chest. My nana winked as she scurried past me inside. I stood up straight and walked to the edge of the porch.

Chan stood on the sidewalk facing me.

He was leaning on a cane.

He looked tired.

He also looked so handsome it made my heart ache.

I crossed my arms. Anything to protect me. I knew he was not the enemy. I wouldn’t have loved him so much if he were.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t bad for me though.

“Carolina Murphy! You come down here.”

“I’m fine here thanks.”

He scowled at me. Then he started forward. I belatedly realized how hard the stairs were for him. I reached my hand to him.

“Wait! I’ll come down.”

He shook his head and kept going. With each step he needed to lean on the cane. I felt my resolve start to crack.

I held my breath as he reached the top step. One more and he was standing in front of me, face to face. He was out of breath from the exertion. But his gorgeous blue eyes were direct as he stared at me.

“You’ve been avoiding me, wife.”

I sighed.

“You are off the hook Chan. It’s fine. You can be with Leah or whoever you want to be with.”

“Leah? What the hell does she have to do with it?”

I stared at him. He had no idea what I was talking about.

“You looked awful cozy at the hospital.”

He shook his head in wonder.

“You mean when I was passed out on drugs? I thought I was dreaming that.”

“You thought you were dreaming about Leah? That’s not much better.”

“No. I thought she was you. And then I saw you in the doorway. I thought I was seeing double.”

I tossed my hair over my shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. You aren’t the settling down type, Chan.”

He stared at me. His eyes were hard. And serious.

“If you don’t love me you, that’s one thing. But if this is something else, I gotta know.”

I stared at him.

“Do you love me Caro? Because I sure as hell love you.”

Tears started falling. I couldn’t help it. I wiped them away.

“Stop it Chan. I don’t need you to pretend. I’m leaving tomorrow. I’m going to - start over. Somewhere new.”

He grabbed me.

“Like hell you are!”

He grabbed my arm and started dragging me into the house.

“Chan!”

I looked around for help but my nana and mom were laughing as he dragged me to my bedroom.

He slammed the door and locked it. Then he stared at me.

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