Gloria (7 page)

‘It like yu back in slavery. A hundred years ago they free the slave but they nuh free the woman. The woman is still living her life under the control a the man, under his law and regulation and goodwill. And her body is occupied. It is his. It belong to him just like the body a the slave belong to the slave master.

‘And when yu suffer that realisation day in day out, year after year, life after life, what it do is shape how every woman see herself. Weak and subservient like she cyan do nothing without him say so, she cyan even think nothing for herself. She completely relying on him to know who she is, and all she can do is carry on just the way him want her to and hope for the best. Just like the slave.’

I wait because she talk so long I not sure she finish. But she lighting another cigarette so I reckon she done. So I say, ‘Yu really believe all a that?’

‘Me believe it? You better believe it sista because that is the only way yu going mek yuself a life that is your own, where yu not beholden to no man for the roof over yu head or have to be grateful to him for putting a ring pon yu finger. Instead all yu do is provide a service and they pay the bill and yu go about yu business. And nobody got to have nothing to say ’bout how yu look or how much weight yu carrying, or how yu keep house or cook, or mind the pickney. Nobody there to judge or criticise yu. Nobody there to tell yu what to do or imagine what they want to do to yu. They just say it straight out and yu say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and how much it going cost. It simple. Everybody know where they stand. There not nuh guesswork and worrying involved. No tiptoeing. Because there not nobody to persuade and soothe and reassure, and feel fraid ’bout what going happen if they nuh like what yu doing.’

And then Beryl say, ‘And no dirty underpants or stinky socks for yu to be soaking and washing week after week.’ And they laugh.

‘Yu think that better than getting a job that mek enough wages so yu can be yu own woman?’

‘You show me that job Gloria and I will be the first in line to tek it. That is if yu think they going give that job to a poor black woman because from where I sit there is only two jobs open to a black woman like you or me. The one I am doing, and the one you just get through doing uptown. Or this third one that yu doing right now working for a pittance in the Chinaman shop.’

And then Beryl say, ‘Or carrying di fruit and vegetable on yu head and resting down di basket when yu squat pon yu stool at Coronation Market.’

Mr Ho say Lynette got a cousin that need work and he going have to let me go.

‘I sorry Gloria. This nothing to do with you, but my hands tied. I got to give Lynette cousin yu job.’

‘Mr Ho I work for yu this long time. Is something I do? Is something mek yu feel yu cyan trust me? I nuh training Lynette good enough?’

‘No Gloria.’ And then he start wring him hands and some little eyewata run down him face. Me and him standing in the back room straightening up after Lynette long gone.

‘Lynette say she pregnant and the baby mine.’ I cyan believe my ears. I would never have tek Mr Ho for that sorta man. ‘But I never touch her, Gloria. Honest to God. She just mek up story and say she going tell wife unless I give her cousin job and I cyan afford keep three a yu.’ That is when I start cry.

‘I sorry, Gloria. I truly sorry because yu a good girl. Hard-working and honest.’ He tek some Kleenex off the shelf and hand it to me. ‘Yu never give me nuh trouble, not a minute’s worry. But I got no way to prove the chile not mine and I cyan tek the shame.’

‘Yu sure she pregnant?’

‘So she say.’

I tek the tissue and wipe my face and then I blow my nose and I say to him, ‘I feel bad for yu Mr Ho. It is a wicked situation Lynette got yu in. But if yu give in to her I nuh think it the end a anything. I think it the beginning.’

When I tell Marcia what happen she just say, ‘Sybil and Beryl got two room spare,’ like it was what she was wishing for.

‘We cyan just go move over there.’

‘Yu got a better idea?’

I sit on the edge a the little bed but I don’t say nothing.

‘Come Friday Miss Sissy going want the week rent. Yu know where we going get that from?’

‘Mr Ho give me two week pay.’

‘And what going happen after that gone? Yu think Miss Sissy going let us stay here on fresh air and a promise while yu look for more work?’

CHAPTER 6

The minute Henry Wong hear what happen he jump in a buggy and come to East Kingston. When I reach him at the door he walk straight past me and go inside like he own the place.

‘What this you do?’

‘What this I do? Who yu think yu is coming in here like yu got any right to ask me any question?’

‘I ask you question like papa.’

‘What papa? Yu mean you?’ I want to tell the man to get out and leave us alone. We can fend for ourselves. But now him sitting down on the sofa wid him hat in him lap. He look so fretful I say to him, ‘Yu want a glass a water?’

And then I hear Beryl behind me, ‘Or maybe yu like a nice cup a tea. Lipton Yellow Label?’ And then she disappear into the kitchen and start rattle some pan even though Henry never say nothing to her.

‘Mr Henry we not nothing for yu to be fretting over like this. Yu kind enough to give me a ride on the road and I was grateful. And yu tek us to Miss Sissy and we rest there for a little while, but yu not responsible for us. Yu hardly even know us.’

‘I have daughter same as you.’ He say it almost like he pleading.

‘Yu keep telling me that but I don’t know why it mek such a difference to yu. Anyway, I sure yu dawta not nothing like me.’

Henry stand up and start reach in him pocket. And then he pull out a leather wallet ram full a notes.

‘Put the money back inna yu pocket man. What yu think this is?’

‘I pay. You go back. Miss Sissy take you. I already ask.’

I don’t know what is possessing this man. This complete stranger of a man that suddenly decide he going adopt us.

Beryl come in the room wid the teapot and cups. Where she learn to drink tea and milk I don’t know. I reckon it musta been some Englishman she busying her time wid. She settle the tray on the table and start pour the tea into the cup. Henry sit down still holding the wallet in him hand, watching her like he witness this sorta thing every day a him life.

Then she say to him, ‘Sugar?’

And he say, ‘Just one.’ After she hand him the cup he just sit there holding it and looking at me. But him cyan think what to say. He just staring.

‘Mr Henry, we not your responsibility.’ But him nuh say nothing. ‘We come from country and we have to mek a life. We not expecting for anybody to ease our way.’ He look at me. ‘I am not doing anything here but a little housework. Sybil and Beryl be good to us. We got room and board as long as I do the cooking and cleaning. And Marcia get to go the school, which is good, very good Mr Henry.’

‘That is very good, about the school. But Gloria, you know . . .’ and he lean forward like he want to whisper to me ‘. . . these women’ wid him eyes wandering to Beryl and back ‘. . . not good girls.’ He stop. He serious. ‘Miss Sissy say . . .’ and then he start shake him head from side to side. I wait, but it seem like Henry cyan even bring himself to finish what he saying. So after some long while I go sit down next to him on the chair and I tek his hand.

‘Is OK.’ I sorta stroke the back of him hand gentle like. ‘Nothing going happen to us. We doing good here. It just like staying wid Miss Sissy, only over here they looking out for us instead a we paying them rent. Everything will work out fine. Nothing for you to be fretting yuself over.’ I give him a minute to tek it all in and then I say to him, ‘Put yu wallet back in yu pocket. We not needing nothing from yu. We just happy and grateful that yu tek the time to come check us. Yu a good man Henry Wong. I hope yu dawta appreciate yu.’

After Henry gone Beryl start laugh. So I say to her, ‘That man help me one day when if it wasn’t for him God knows what would a happen to me. And is him that bring me to Miss Sissy, which is how come I end up ’cross the road there. And now I am here wid you. Yu see, is Henry Wong doing all a this. Trust Providence. That man, he going mean something to all a us one day. You mark my words.’

Everything go fine because Sybil and Beryl busy. Not only wid the local but wid the British army boys from Up Park Camp and all dem sailors they bring down here after the British government decide that the Americans could set up bases in British territories of which Jamaica was one. Business was good. And all I had to do was keep the place clean and tidy, and the two a them happy. It was easy. Easier than working in the shop with all dem bwoys standing and staring, and the old women cussing and complaining ’bout how the saltfish bony or the salt beef fatty, and the pickney wid the fast hands into the pocket, and heaving the flour and the rice, and all the time watching Lynette outta the corner a my eye. In truth, this was nothing but joy compare to that. Marcia even going to school every day seeming like she enjoying it.

And then on a Sunday we sit on the veranda and Sybil light a cigarette and Beryl serve food, and Marcia pour drinks, wid the music pumping out from Station ZQI. Because even though the radio set cost so much, Sybil say it nuh matter. We got to have the sounds. So Beryl is dancing and swirling and I got my feet up on a crate with Marcia sitting there painting the nail polish on my toes.

‘What yu mean she sick?’

‘She sick man. I cyan tell yu nothing more than that.’

‘But I come here every Wednesday. Two ’til two-thirty. A drink a rum and I am on my way. Every Wednesday, regular as clockwork.’

‘Well the rum I can see to. But Beryl she sick. That is it.’

Then he start walk through the house opening every door and shouting, ‘Where she at?’ like he going find her laying in her bed and do it to her anyway.

‘She down the hospital waiting in line since early morning for whatever medicine they got to give her. That is what I already tell yu.’

‘So where di other one? The big brown one?’

‘She not here. She gwaan a town.’

‘She gwaan town? While me standing here wid a stiff piece a wood inna my pants.’

‘Beryl think she was going come back in time.’

‘Come back in time?’ Him stand and stare at me. And then him start walking again and opening up some more doors.

‘So which one a dis room belong to you?’

‘My room?’

‘Yes. You going have to do it.’

‘I am not doing it! Look at me in this old housecoat. I am the live-in domestic. I cook and clean, and wash and iron. I don’t have nothing to do wid no men.’

‘Well yu look ready to me.’

‘Ready! Yu serious?’

‘Yah man. Come on we going do it in here.’ Him standing holding open the door and pointing wid him finger like for me to go in there.

‘That bed nuh got no sheets on.’

‘Sheets?’ And he stick him head ’round the door to see.

‘I just wash and put dem on the line this morning.’

‘You nuh worry yuself ’bout no sheets. You worry that it gone quarter pass two and I not even drop my pants yet.’ I just stand there and look at him. ‘Come nuh, what yu waiting for? Move yuself gal.’ And he walk into the room and start tek off him shoes and pants.

Lord God Almighty what am I thinking? Because what is going through my head is that I should just go in there and do it. After all, I been sitting down here in this house all these months watching Sybil and Beryl do it every day, day in day out, and they still good people. They kind and honest. They generous enough to be letting me and Marcia live here for nothing. They not even say a bad word ’bout Miss Sissy who we can hear from right ’cross the street cussing and carrying on alarming ’bout them. All Beryl do is turn up the radio little bit more. I even done trust dem wid my life not to go blabbing all my troubles so I end up in jail. Me really think me better than them? And then I think yu know girl this thing been plaguing yu since Barrington Maxwell. At least if I go do it Beryl can have one day sick without having to tek no aggravation over it. So I walk inside.

When I get in there him laying on him back on the bare bed in him socks and shirt, wid his hands behind his head and his thing stick up in the air ready for me to go sidung pon it. I drop my drawers and go do it. I never even tek off the old blue housecoat wid the little white flowers and edge piping and the cotton so thin from age yu could put yu finger through it. I just hitch up the hem and climb on the bed, and he turn over and get on top a me.

It musta tek a minute or maybe two and he was done. He breathe out real heavy and stop wid his body like a dead weight pressing the air outta me. Hot and clammy and rank from the smell a sweat and what come outta him.

And then he get up and put on him pants and shoes and say, ‘Yu going get the rum?’

So I get up and go in the next room and pick up the Wray & Nephew bottle and pour it out. He drink it down in one gulp. And then he reach in him pocket and pull out the money and put it on the table. And just as him walking out the door him turn back and say, ‘Tell Beryl I hope she feel better soon and I see her next week.’

It was nearly four o’clock before Beryl come back. She step in the house like she a walking duppy and she head toward her room. When she get there she stop and rest her hand on the doorpost and say to me, ‘Him come at two o’clock?’