Gladiator Bear's Battle (Shift In Time 1) (5 page)

She breathed out a sigh of relief in the darkened halls as he motioned for her to knock on the door. It had all been Lucia’s plan, both how Kiya had gotten into the dormitories the first time and now as well. Lucia knew a few of the servants who worked in the dormitories and how the healers came and went after big fights. The first time it had been a simple case of bribing the regular healer and letting Kiya take her place, but now, the stakes were higher.

Lucia had spent a lot of time trying to dissuade Kiya from her foolhardy plan, but she couldn’t be swayed. Something within her told her that she had to see Erden again, to talk to him. It would be the only way to silence the nagging feeling that she was walking into darkness without a single light to guide her home. He was that beacon she was searching for.

“Come in,” Erden’s low voice called.

Kiya quickly slipped in, balancing the tray in one hand.

“Kiya,” he said, and her name sounded like a promise on his lips.

She couldn’t help but smile to herself as she set the tray back. The hood pushed back over her curly hair, she stood in the middle of the room, looking at him. The longing within her screamed at her ever louder and she felt the familiar shiver of need run up her spine. Never had she thought of a man as anything more than a captor, a ruler, a strength greater than her. But in Erden, she could see a kindred spirit. A protector. Someone to run to, as silly as it may have sounded.

“I apologize for barging in like this,” she whispered, suddenly caught by how it must have looked. “I did not mean to inconvenience you.”

“You could never inconvenience me,” he said, a smile breaking across his lips.

It looked… warm. Kind. Surprising. She’d seen him snarl countless times and destroy warriors left and right, but she had never really seen him smile. It made her appreciate him all the more feverishly.

“Did you come with more news?” he asked curiously, peering at the tray she brought with her.

“No… well, yes, but… yes,” Kiya stuttered.

“And?” he urged, smiling.

Erden sat down and Kiya saw a spark of amusement in his eyes. He must have known that the situation was serious—she wouldn’t be down in the dormitories, risking her health and her position in the household otherwise. But she also saw the way his eyes roamed her body. Unlike when others did it, his gaze made her feel confident. Beautiful.

“Julius Augustinus will use you in a fight put on for some Senators. They will have a party here in a few nights,” Kiya blurted.

Erden’s eyebrows rose up a bit and he nodded then, catching her drift.

“And you think that is when he will attempt to… get rid of me?” he asked.

She nodded her chin a little, the thought making her throat close. He exhaled and patted the cot next to him, inviting her to sit down. She hesitated, but when he reached over his hand and grabbed her hand, pulling her next to him, she couldn’t deny him any longer. With her heart beating wildly in her chest, she sat down next to him.

“Is that the only reason you’re here?” he asked.

After a moment of silence, she shook her head. “No,” she said with a small voice.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head. Erden gave her a long look and she felt her cheeks burn red. What she wanted the most was to just get to know him and spend some time around him so she would have a good memory to cling to when her time inevitably came, when she would need something positive to look back on.

“I understand. Do you have time? Could you tell me a little about yourself?”

“Why?” Kiya asked, looking up with surprise in her eyes.

She’d seen him seek her out in the crowd a few times, but she had thought nothing of it. While a small piece of her hoped that he was looking for her, a much bigger part was sure that he had always been looking for Mistress Aelia Fausta, to see whether she was pleased with his fights.

“Because I would like to know more about you, Kiya.”

He squeezed her hand and she realized that he had not let go of her yet. Her other hand went over his without a second thought. It just felt perfectly natural. A warm feeling pooled in her center and then spread to her limbs. Though a moment ago she had felt she couldn’t say a word, now her vocal chords were untying and she felt the words coming easily. Yes, there was danger, and yes, she should not have lingered, but she longed to share some time with him.

“What is there to my life? I am a slave,” she said, smiling weakly.

“I am as well. That does not mean that our life ends simply because our freedom is taken from us. There’s always hope that it can be captured again and when the time comes, I’d rather know what I want to do with my life and my freedom, rather than be in a situation in which I do not know what to strive for.”

Erden shrugged his wide shoulders, and it almost looked like a mountain thoughtfully shifting. He truly was a large man and Kiya felt insignificantly small in his shadow, like if she stayed next to him, nothing could get at her. Of course, she knew that not to be true. The
lanista’
s reach was far and wide and no slave was ever safe from the wrath of their master. But if she were thinking purely rationally, she would have not been here in Erden’s room right now.

“That is true. I just… I don’t see it as a possibility anymore. I have known a better life. I have known a different life. But it seems so far in the past now that it barely counts. Like a distant memory I would love to keep, but cannot hold onto. It keeps sliding out from between my fingers.”

She sighed, but Erden squeezed her hand again reassuringly. It felt incredibly good.

“Were you bought as a child?” he asked.

“I was,” Kiya nodded. “I was the youngest of my sisters. My family were distantly related to the pharaoh. When he was overthrown, they came for everyone connected to him. My family was slaughtered like sheep. I was the only one left. I think they took mercy on me because I was young. My mother was a great beauty and her daughters were all meant for big marriages and happy futures. But they all ended up thrown into the Nile and I am the only one who can remember them at all.”

She shook visibly and Erden put his other hand around her, enveloping her in his warm embrace. Physical closeness was not something slaves got to enjoy much and being so close to him now, touching him, was like the sweetest drug.

“I was sold at an auction and carried over the sea to Rome. There, at a market in Capua, Julius Augustinus’s wife saw me and had me purchased for Aurelia Fausta. I am thankful I have been given a reasonable and kind mistress. I know it could have been much worse,” Kiya confessed.

She exhaled deeply and the tension within her lifted a little. She had not told anyone her story since coming to the empire. It was common knowledge that the more you gave, the more people took, and Kiya did not have anything left to give. Any bit of information she shared took power from her, what little she ever had, but with Erden, all those worries seemed to disappear. When she told him something, it felt more like she was growing stronger through shared knowledge, not becoming less than she was.

“I was a prisoner of war,” Erden said, his deep voice rumbling through her. “There was a large unit of fighters moving toward the north, farther north than they had ever been, I think. I am from the far north, where the snow never melts and when it is either completely dark or the sun is up for days and days. We were on a scouting trip across the narrow sea when we were ambushed. My brothers-in-arms were cut down around me. I think I must have cut through twenty-five of the bastard warriors who had come for us in the dark before they stopped me.”

He fell silent for a moment, contemplating the words he spoke before continuing.

“I thought they would kill me as they did the others. But the phalanx commander was impressed, even though I was a beast. He said I would be valuable, that I had more worth as a caged predator than a dead man in the ground. So, I was brought here to this blasted place of warmth and sun and sand. I have now been fighting here for many years, hoping that I would gain my
rudus
and return home.”

Erden shook his head, sighing. Looking up at his face, Kiya could see the knotted tension there. The memories washed over him and threatened to suffocate him, dancing before his eyes. She had been taken from her home as well, but for her, the difference was not so great between Egypt and Rome. There was nothing to return to in Egypt and she could hardly imagine a way for her to create a better life for herself outside of the walls of the
ludus
. Erden, however, knew exactly what he desired and what he needed and the
ludus
obviously was not enough for that.

“Did you leave someone behind?” she asked.

“My family.” Kiya must have looked apprehensive, because he rushed to correct himself. “My brothers. My sister. No wife, no children. I thought there was time and I would have set out to find a mate soon, but the trip came before that. I think it is for the better, though.”

“Why?”

“Because if that night had never happened in those dark woods, I would have never met you.”

His words took Kiya’s breath away. What could she say to that? Her eyes stung with tears and she looked away, down at her hand in his. Just then, she heard rustling behind the door, and a chatter of voices and shuffling feet. Quickly, she bounced up on her feet and let go of Erden’s hand.

“I must go. Before they notice that I am missing.”

Erden nodded and stood up, though he had to hunch a little instead of standing at his full height. Her hand was already on the wooden door handle when he spoke again.

“I do not want you to put yourself in danger, Kiya. But I do hope to see you once more.”

The look in his deep brown eyes told her that he meant every word. With a heavy heart, she fled the room.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Erden

The log Erden lifted with his bare hands splintered under his fingertips and scratched at his tough skin. The sun was beating down mercilessly as it seemed to always do and there wasn’t a whiff of wind blowing through the pit that made up the practice yard. With a grunt, he let the log slam onto the dirty sand once more, before dragging it back up and then pressing it over his head.

There were men all around him. Some were sparring, some were doing calisthenics and others were working on brute strength as Erden was. The
ludus
had a fine collection of gladiators and the
lanista
made sure they were kept in peak physical form. Erden had been given a few days to recuperate and he could still taste the sweetness of the wine he had been given as a reward some nights earlier.

The finer things in life were something far too distant for the gladiators, so when they were blessed with a tiny sliver of a better life, that memory hung with them for a long time. Like Kiya’s hand in his and her body shaking against his chest. The flash of memory almost made him lose grip on the wood and he let it drop down, panting.

His wounds were healed now and just a few faded scars indicated that they had ever been there at all. He was not the only shifter in the
ludus
, but he was certainly the most experienced one, and he had to count his lucky stars that he could still heal as efficiently as he did. Though, in all honestly, he believed a lot of it had to do with Kiya as well. Not only the salves she had brought, but her reinvigorating presence. When he was near her, the thought of becoming old and weak was something that made him buck and rile against it. He had to be strong, if only so he could protect his mate.

A small grin flashed across his face at that. She had come to see him again a few nights later, making excuses as to why she needed to check on his wounds. She must have known he was fine already, but he didn’t call any attention to it. If she wanted to come and see him, that was more than fine by him. They had, again, talked and shared and Erden had been reminded of what it felt like being a person. Being a man.

It was damn near impossible keeping his hands off of her, but he was respectful. Being so much stronger than she was, he did not want to assume anything that was not there, nor did he want to pressure her. Even if they could only talk for the rest of their lives, even if she would never return to him again, he would hold those nights as precious jewels in his heart, giving him strength to fight on whenever he felt too weak to do it otherwise.

“What is so funny, north-mongrel?” Tertianus bellowed, the main trainer of the gladiators, the
doctore.

“Nothing,
doctore,
” Erden responded respectfully, bowing his head. 

“Come here and show all these
novicii
how a true gladiator brawls then,” the
doctore
called.

Erden knew that the
doctore
was not to be trifled with. He, next to Julius Augustinus, was the only law the gladiators knew. Erden stepped over the log and headed into the middle of the pit. Some other sparring pairs either finished or stepped aside to give him room. It made him stand a bit straighter, seeing the admiration in the eyes of his brothers in training. So much loss, pain, and danger lurked in the world of training and becoming a gladiator that the men in the
ludus
often formed close bonds. It was just about the only human contact they had, so their brothers were to be cherished.

“Davida, come forth,” the
doctore
called.

A young gladiator that Erden had never met stepped forward. He was almost as tall as Erden himself and had fair hair and blue eyes, clear marks of a capture from the north. When he murmured a greeting in Erden’s mother tongue, Erden frowned deeply. It was like someone struck a knife straight into his heart and then twisted it as well. For years, he had worked on packing everything about his past into a small box and shoving it into the back of his mind. He did not need this reminder to open that box up again and make all the pain in the past spill forth.