Giving You Forever (26 page)

Immediately when we get back to our room, I shower and brush my teeth, feeling repulsive, then grab my pajamas and crawl into bed. Again, I feel bad that I’d rather go to sleep than have sex with Nolan–we never have weekend getaways and the one we finally get, both nights all I’ve want to do is go to sleep.

Curling up beside him, I wrap my arms around his waist as he sits with his back against the headboard, watching TV.

“Why don’t you go to bed, baby?” he softly says, kissing the top of my head.

“You don’t care?”

“Why would I care?”

“Cause we’re not having sex again tonight.”

“Seriously?” he says, shocked. “I couldn’t care less. I just wanted a weekend away with you. Not a fuckfest. Not to mention that you just hurled over the side of a boat. Not the biggest turn-on,” he kids with a joking smirk.

Only he can make the most vulgar words sound sweet.

Reaching up and kissing his lips, I say, “I love you, babe.”

“I love you, too, baby doll,” he kisses me again. “Now get some sleep.”

The next morning we just kind of veg, not really having the time to go do something before we have to check out. Since I haven’t talked to my mom in a while, I figure the drive home would be a good opportunity to do that. She answers after just a couple of rings.

“Hi, honey. How are ya?” she greets me, obviously seeing my name on their caller ID.

“Blah,” I say in response.

She chuckles at my exaggeration.

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been feeling crappy for over a week now.”

“Did you call your doctor? Could be your iron.”

Sometimes I wonder if she and Nolan share a brain.

Eww, no! Definitely couldn’t.

“No, not yet, but Nolan has demanded that I do so on Monday. I don’t think it’s that, though. I’ve been getting really nauseous and even threw-up last night.”

She pauses.

“Have you gotten your period lately?”

“I’m supposed to get it any day, and no, I’m not pregnant.”

“And you’re taking your pills at the same time every night?” she continues, still on the kick that I could be.

“Mom, I’ve been on birth control since high school. I think I know how I’m supposed to take it.”

Now getting Nolan’s attention, he looks at me with a raised eyebrow, but I just shake my head no and mouth “I’m not pregnant.”

“Did you use alternate protection when you were on your antibiotic?”

Huh?

“Why would we use alternate protection when I was sick?” I ask, almost annoyed with her ridiculous questions and not believing that we are having this conversation.

She snickers.

“I think you may want to make an OB appointment tomorrow instead.”

“Why?” I’m quick to question.

“Antibiotics weaken the strength of your birth control, honey.”

“Wait…what?” I ask, my stomach now sitting on the ground.

She snickers again.

“They probably should’ve told you that.”

Um, ya think?

Completely lost for words and numb, I softly tell my mom, “I, uh, I gotta go. I’ll call you later.”

“Let me know how it goes,” she adds in a chipper tone before I respond, “uh huh,” and press end.

“Everything okay?” Nolan asks, noticing my sudden blank stare.

“We need to stop at the next exit,” I tell him, expressionless.

“Doll, you’re scaring me…”

“I have to buy a pregnancy test.”

As I sit in the car, twiddling my thumbs, and taking repetitive deep breaths to avoid getting sick, Nolan finally comes out of the drug store, carrying a bag full of tests, handing them to me when he gets inside the car.

“I’m pretty sure we only need one,” I smirk, seeing at least ten in the bag.

“Just in case,” he winks with an adorable grin, making me a little less nervous.

He puts the car in reverse, and I question where we’re going. I can just go back inside of the drug store. I’m sure they have a bathroom.

“The comfort inn down the street that we passed,” he tells me, rubbing the top of my leg.

I look at him confused.

“You’re not finding out that you’re pregnant in a public restroom,” he continues.

“So you’re going to rent a hotel room?”

“Yeah,” he replies like it’s no big deal, not seeing what a waste of money it is. I honestly couldn’t care less where I find out that I’m pregnant. I just want to know.

“Okay,” I answer, not bothering to argue. I’m certainly not going to complain.

– NOLAN –

Too nervous to sit down, I pace back and forth outside of the bathroom door. I’d be inside if she’d let me, but she said it’d be too weird to pee on a stick in front me. I don’t get why, but I agreed to wait outside.

“Are you done yet?” I ask through the door, thinking she has to be done by now.

“It’s still got a minute and a half left,” she yells back.

“But you’re done peeing on it?”

“Well, yeah,” her voice decreases from yelling to normal when I step inside the bathroom.

“What’re you doing?”

“You said you couldn’t pee on the stick with me in here, not that I couldn’t wait with you.”

A smile tugs on her lips as I take the small step between us, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as she slips her arm around my waist. Then we wait, staring at the little blinking hour glass together. ..in silence.

Chapter Twenty-Two

– ALEXA –

PREGNANT

The bold capital letters appear after the three minutes are up, causing both of our mouths to fall open. Tears immediately stream our faces.

Turning towards me, Nolan pulls me tightly against his chest, kissing the top of my head over and over again, full of joy before loosening his hold and picking me up, making our faces perfectly aligned.

“Holy shit, doll. We’re having a baby!” he practically shouts, his deep blue eyes shining bright as a smile covers his face.

With so many emotions flooding my body, my speech fails me, not allowing me to speak, my only response a nod of my head.

Noticing my expressionless stare, he places me back on the ground, holding my face in his hands. The tears flow heavier.

“Doll, what’s wrong?” he asks, confused.

I shake my head just as lost–I don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t know how I
should
be feeling. Am I happy? Yeah. Am I sad? Yeah. Am I scared? Tremendously. His face pales and looks at me frightened.

“Do you not want this? Do you not want to have a baby with me?”

Immediately I shake my head repeatedly.

“No. That’s not it at all. Of course, I want to have a baby with you, I just…I don’t—”

“You’re scared?”

Feeling ashamed, I look down and whisper, “I’m terrified.”

Placing a finger underneath my chin, he brings my face back up to his, melting my heart with the warmness in his eyes.

“You’re going to be a wonderful mom, angel. And you have me. I’ll always be here for you, and for the baby. This may not be part of our plan, but we can do it. I know we can. We have so much love to share…” He rests his hand over my stomach. “With our little peanut.”

I stare at his hand resting on my abdomen and can’t help the smile tugging on my lips, picturing him rubbing my belly as it grows, sharing this experience with him. He’s right. We can do this. It may be much sooner than we had planned, but sometimes you can’t plan for everything. Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches, and as long as I have Nolan by my side, I know that I can do this. I can roll with the punches. With him.

– NOLAN –

Ahhhh!!!!

I’m going to be a dad…again!

For a minute when she hung up the phone with her mom earlier, the scared as hell look on her face when she told me that she might be pregnant, I was worried. My insides were already jumping ecstatic, hoping that it was true, but by the look on her face, I couldn’t tell how she was feeling. Just a month or so ago, when I brought the topic of kids up, she was shaky with her answer. So I was shitting bullets, worried that she wouldn’t want to keep it, or be depressed. I didn’t know how she was going to react. Then, seeing the look on her face once the test read positive, I was sure that was it. I was sure she didn’t want to have a baby. I knew I had to go into recovery mode, make her believe what an amazing mother she’d be. That we could do this and that we’d be okay.

I wasn’t sure which way it’d go, but the grin that curved her beautiful lips when I placed my hand over her stomach confirmed that I still had her; that she was inching closer to being just as excited as I am. And now, walking around the Babies-R-Us just down the street from the hotel, I know she’s with me. She ecstatic and I couldn’t be happier.