Giving In (The Sandy Cove Series Book 1) (25 page)

“I’ve waited so long for this, Turnip. A year
and a half is a long time to go without having you.”

She looks into my eyes, and says with the
seductive look of probably the sexiest woman I have ever seen,
“Well then, what are you waiting for?”

And that’s all the ammo I need to take her, and
finally be inside of what’s mine. The one thing that has turned my
calm little world upside down in a matter of months.

I lift her up, cupping her ass in my hands, and
with one of them, I tug down her shorts, exposing her black
panties. Underneath is my heaven. I’ve had it before, but now it’s
different. It’s not a stranger I’m about to fuck, it’s the girl who
rules my world.

I don’t know how I do it, but I manage to keep
her up with my one arm and slowly trace the outline of her already
wet panties with the other. Anticipating what’s beneath them.

“Touch me, Cruz. I can’t take it anymore. I need
you to touch me.”

I slip my fingers along the hem and feel her
wetness there, begging for me, so I give her what she wants, what
she needs, what I need.

“Oh, God.” She moans as my fingers invade her.
Her grip on me is strong, and for being so small, it surprises me.
I watch her face as my fingers dip in and out of her, picking up my
pace as I watch her fly over the edge, and it’s fucking gorgeous,
and she’s mine.

Her breathing is rapid, my fingers are wet with
her release, and now I need to feel her all over me.

I sit back down in the chair, leaving her
standing there naked, the moonlight reflecting off the bay’s water,
and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful in my life.
Her perfect face. Her long hair hanging over her shoulders just
touching the outline of her gorgeous tits. I slowly pull down my
pants, my cock springing out. I reach for a condom, slide it on and
pull her onto me without warning. I impale her, getting the feel of
her around me. The heat coming off her pussy, her skin against
mine, making me hotter than I think I’ve ever been, feeling so
much, almost to the point where I want to weep. And why do I feel
this way?

Because I feel. I feel something this time. Not
just to get off like my normal ways, but I feel things inside for
her, I never knew I was capable of. I try to take my time, her body
rising and falling onto my cock. Slowly, she takes me in, inch by
inch, but the feeling is so magnificent that I’m not so sure I’ll
hold out much longer. Our lips hardly move from one another and the
sounds of flesh against flesh are savored, because it feels too
damn good, and I don’t want it to end.

“I’m going to come, Turnip, hold on to me
ok?”

She nods, unable to speak, and that’s something
I find most sexy. She can’t even speak.

I raise her up and down on me a few more times,
gripping her hips and kneading my fingertips into her skin. I can
feel the corners of her bones under my palms as I come like I think
I never have before.

That’s a lie. If memory serves, I did, a year
and a half ago. You don’t forget something like that. Her body
falls against mine, and there are no words, only pants and breathy
sounds coming from both of us. I hold her close to me, not wanting
to let her go… Never.

“I leave Monday.” She tells me, making me want
to hold her closer than I already am.

“Tomorrow is Sunday already.”

Silence. Only silence. Harlow climbs off of me
and dresses. She tells me not to worry, but her lack of words makes
me think otherwise. I get dressed and stand beside her. I wrap my
arms around her waist, and we look out on the moonlit bay.

“Come on.” I nudge her. “Let’s get some
sleep.”

We make our way back to the house and to my
room. We don’t bother to undress. We just crawl under the sheets,
and I put my chest against her back. Our legs are tangled together
at the ankles, knees twisted and locked between one another, and
it’s the most unusual, but most satisfying feeling I think I’ve
ever felt. I’m liking this. As I wrap my arms around her shoulders
and gently rub the silk-like strands of her hair that fall on them,
I hear the change of her breathing, and I know she’s fast
asleep.

But as tired as I am, I don’t want to waste any
time sleeping when I have her with me now, because I know in twenty
four hours, she’ll be gone.

And it’s not fair, but I have to believe this
will work. It has to, because if I lose her like I have lost so
much in my life, this time I don’t think I’ll recover.

***

As I stand on this dock, knowing that I won’t
be back anytime soon, I think about the last twenty four hours and
the last eight weeks and all that has taken place. I have the heart
of a man who I despised at one time, almost to the point of making
me physically ill. But that’s in the past because here we are
hugging and kissing like it’s the end of the world, and it will be
the last thing we ever do. How did I not see this coming before?
Dr. Goldberg tried to tell me. Craw tried to tell me. Was I that
close-minded that I didn’t realize my feelings? Yes… Yes, I was,
but now that’s unimportant. He has me. I’m his. He is mine.

Yesterday was a blur, well a good blur. The
majority was spent in his bed, (I’m not complaining because there
was no place else I wanted to be) with the exception of a walk on
the beach, and dinner with the gang before Willow and I leave Sandy
Cove and head back to Princeton to start our new jobs. Exciting as
it is, the bittersweetness of it all has replaced that. Leaving me
with a feeling I have had in the past. One I’m not a fan of.

Dread.

Even when I was with Chad, and he would go away
on his trips with his buddies to Cabo, or on a golf trip with his
dad, I knew what was going to happen once he left, he’d cheat. For
some odd reason beyond anything I can comprehend, I don’t feel that
way leaving here and leaving Cruz. He asked why I was crying at Jax
the other night when I was talking to Chad. I told Cruz how Chad
wanted me back, and he kept telling me over and over again how no
one else would love me. How there was no one else who could make me
feel the way he does. How no one would ever want me like he does.
When I told Cruz our conversation, he was angry, but told me these
exact words: Chad’s words couldn’t be farther from the truth.

He starts his new job with the Sandy Cove Police
tonight. Four, twelve hour shifts with three days off. He will have
some weekends off, if he’s lucky, but for the most part, weekends
off are a thing of the past, at least for now. Him being the low
man on the totem pole and all.

We discussed that night in the bathroom of Jax
last summer. We laughed as he told me when he saw me throw down a
few shots of tequila like a drunken sailor, he knew he had to have
me. That in turn left butterflies in my belly. He told me he
watched me from the time I entered the bar, until we left, even
after I rejoined my friends that night of our lovers’ tryst. Cruz
told me he replayed that first night over and over again in his
head, and when he saw me the night he pulled me over when I arrived
here this summer. The whole time he gave me that fake sobriety
test, all he thought about was how I made him feel that night,
twelve months prior. The pleasure and the sheer rawness of it
all.

I did that to him. I made him feel something.
Me. Not the other way around. I’ve never made anyone want me, or
need me like Cruz needs and wants me. A temporary distraction
inside a bar bathroom has brought us to this. I never want to let
him go. I know I have to start my future, but I feel like Cruz may
be a part of that future, that’s how much I care for him. I’ve
soaked his shirt with my tears. I’ve lost so much and leaving him
now scares me, but I have to believe that this will work. I can’t
say the words I love him to him, not just yet. I’m pretty sure I do
love him. Actually there’s no doubt, because the dread I feel
leaving him is overwhelming and you just don’t feel the way I do
when you just ‘like’ someone. I haven’t been in love for so long,
and I’m not sure I was ever in love with Chad. He ruled me with an
iron fist, and not in a good way. He ruled me by telling me what to
wear, how to style my hair, what color it should be, not to be a
teacher because I wasn’t smart enough, never good enough.

I was just never enough for him, but I kept
going back for more, and it ended with me almost ending my
life.

I love how strong Cruz is. How he calms the
raging sea of emotions I constantly have, but how is he going to do
that almost three hours away? We will video chat, it’s been
discussed. He will check his schedule and the first weekend he has
off, he’ll come to Princeton to see me. It won’t be for a while,
but I’m hoping how the old saying goes ‘absence makes the heart
grow fonder’ is true to life. This will be an unexpected journey,
one I’m willing to take with him, because like he said to me a few
days ago, he needs me in his life, and he doesn’t want to live it
without me in it. I believe him because I feel the same way.

We walk to my already packed car after I hug the
guys and Thea goodbye. I’ll see the girls and Porter more than I’ll
see Max. Willow is M.I.A. and I’m wondering where she ran off
to.

“So I’ll check tonight and see when my next days
off are. Even if it’s a Sunday, I’ll drive to see you and spend as
much time with you as I can. Every chance I get I’ll come to see
you, but absolutely I’ll be there for Greta’s wedding on New Year’s
Eve.

It’s hard to fight back the tears as he tells me
these things, ‘cause for a while it will be hard, but I’ve had to
deal with worse.

A lie I’ll keep telling myself until we are
together again.

Willow comes out of the house, followed by
Max.

Max?

Yea, ok, whatever.

I reluctantly pull away from Cruz after a long,
searing kiss that I’ll not soon forget. I know as I drive away,
I’ll still be able to taste him on my lips and feel his fingertips
weaved in my hair.

“Trust in us, Turnip, believe in us and
everything will be ok.” He points to his heart. “You’re in here,
and there’s no way you’re getting out.”

I swipe at my tears and laugh. “I thought you
weren’t going to be mushy and stuff.”

He chuckles against my ear. “I’m not ‘cause I
think your ass looks big in those shorts. Happy now?” I smack his
arm, trying to quickly end this torturous goodbye.

I get into my car, and Willow goes in hers. My
tears are like a river, uncontrolled and raging, and I shake as I
slip into the driver’s seat. I grip the wheel, resting my head on
it, and he dips his head in the window.

“You call me from a rest stop. You call me when
you want. Hell, call me when you get to the end of the street.” He
smiles at me, but I can see the pain in his eyes. This hurts him
too, but the big baby won’t admit it. This is the truth of Cruz.
Strong like the Marine he is. Soft on the inside where no one else
but me can see past the built up wall and the Broadway show he
constantly stars in.

I start the car, and he hangs on my lips as I
slowly start to drive away, pecking at them, once, twice, three,
four times. Not wanting him to part my mouth, but knowing I have to
say goodbye, I gun it, looking at him through my rear-view mirror.
Before long he’s a speck of a reflection, and so is my heart. I
feel the pain. I feel the emptiness, and I tell myself to
believe.

Just believe.

Of course, I’ve talked to the man a million
times in the past month. I can’t text at work, but when I leave
school for the day there has to be no less than I’d say oh… about
twenty texts from him. Always joking, always telling me he misses
me. The video chat thing is doing ok, but he does mostly night
duty, so it’s hard. He’ll text me a picture of himself, of the
stars on his hips and joke about how when he sees me he fully
expects me to give them a lick.

The man is insatiable.

I love my new job. Seventh graders are funny
with all their raging hormones and know-it-all attitudes. My mom
tells me we were the same growing up. We thought we had all the
answers. The staff at the school is great. I feel comfortable, and
it was an easy transition from student to teacher.

As much as I love my parents, even though they
have been so wonderful to me, I needed to be on my own. I needed to
move out and get my own place, which I did. I bought a small condo
about ten minutes from their house, and I’m in absolute love with
it. Of course, in the grand fashion of my parental units, I put the
down payment on it myself, but they bought me some of my furniture.
Sometimes Craw stays with me, and Greta, well Greta is too busy
being Bridezilla at the moment. The wedding is a short three months
away. New Year’s Eve, figures, even Greta could take the spotlight
off the new year. Cruz is coming to the wedding, which I’m so
excited for. Unfortunately, he has to work Christmas Eve and day,
but is off for New Year’s. He’s staying for four whole days.