Giver of Light (13 page)

We both needed it, this reconnection, this closeness again. We both wanted to feel this. So familiar, so right. But, I also wanted to hear that I was still his. I needed to hear the words. That he still wanted me to be his, despite where I had been, how long I had been away, how much had happened in my absence.

“God, Lucinda,” he breathed. “I want you so much. I need you.” And then just as we both came, him in a slow, languid stroke inside me he murmured them, the words I wanted to hear, with such depth of feeling it rocked my soul. “You. Are. Mine.”

He collapsed on top of me utterly breathless and totally spent. For a moment I was worried. I had pushed him too soon, he hadn't been well enough. But, it was only a minute before he moved again and I could breathe properly, his weight no longer pressing into me. His arms wrapped around me protectively, securely and it was with a sudden knowledge that I realised Michel was everything I needed in a saviour. He may not have been able to rescue me himself, but no one could compare to him in my eyes.

The road would not be easy, I was making new memories now to dull those of the past few weeks, but I knew now, without a doubt, that Michel would get me through any hurdles that would arrive in the wake of my time spent in America. Michel would be my guardian angel from this day forward. Michel was all that I needed.

“
Je t'aime, ma douce. Je t'aimerai toujours.
”

Now, this memory would be the one I could replay again and again. I smiled and whispered, “I will love you forever too.”

His arms crushed me to him and we stayed like that for quite some time, both luxuriating in the afterglow of sex, in the warmth of the embrace, in being so close to each other after so long apart. But, we weren't done, not yet.

I shifted against him after a few minutes and turned to look him in the face, both of us now on our sides, facing each other.

“You still look like shit, Michel.”

He laughed at my phrasing, his chest rising and falling with each chuckle. His hand came out to touch my face, resting there as he rubbed a thumb along my jaw. “Being close to you  heals me,
ma douce
. Although, too much of the kind of vigorous activity such as just now, may be beyond me for a while longer.” His smile was full of the promise that he wanted more, but tinged with the regret he was not up to performing the task too often.

“Well,” I said, taking his hand and moving it to my neck, just above my pulse, “we can't have that.”

He watched where his hand was being placed and licked his lips, his eyes flicking back up to mine. I saw the hesitation there, but also the desperate hunger for my blood. His body was craving it, but his mind was saying no. His fangs came down automatically and he tried to pull away, closing his mouth to hide his reaction from me. I held him firmly in place and ran my thumb from my free hand across his lips.

“Show me them,” I ordered, my voice suddenly lower than usual.

He shook his head, but I clasped his chin in a strong hold to stop the motion.

“Show me them.” My voice was stronger, I was enjoying this control over him, this position he had placed me in. His reluctance made me stronger, made me realise how much control I actually had of the situation right now. I was the one in charge, not him. I needed that control, but I also knew, he needed my blood.

He opened his mouth and pulled his lips back slightly, just enough to show the tips of his now very long fangs, but not enough to make him grimace. He was still so very attractive, so very sexy and the fact that his fangs were longer than I had ever seen before just turned me on completely. I had done this to him. I had made his fangs come out and lengthen to such a degree. He wanted me, but he wouldn't make a move until I said so. The power of that was intoxicating.

“You're going to do exactly as I say,” I commanded, he just smiled slightly and nodded, his eyebrows rising up just a hint. I think he was enjoying this as much as I was, if the glint of magenta in amongst the amethyst and indigo was anything to go by.

“Kiss me here,” I said, pointing to my cheek. He held my gaze and came in slowly, following my command to the letter, a soft, feather-light touch of his lips against my cheek where I had been pointing.

“And here.” I pointed to my eyelid. He smiled, his lazy sexy smile, obviously getting into the swing of things quite nicely now and touched his lips to my eyelid, so softly, so slowly, then pulled away awaiting his next command.

I licked my lips, his eyes tracked the movement, unable to stop staring at my mouth.

“Here,” I whispered, pointing to my forehead. I saw the flash of regret wash over him, he'd obviously wanted my lips. This had promise. But, he dipped his face down obediently again to kiss my forehead, just as softly and slowly as before, returning to his position and staring at my mouth.

Ah ah, I thought. Not yet. “Here.” I pointed to my ear. He swallowed and slowly leaned in, kissing my ear and daring to follow through with a small nibble on the lobe.

I smiled at his audacity and whispered, “and here,” pointing to my throat, purposely avoiding my pulse point.

He obeyed, kissing a line down my throat, not just one light brush of the lips, but several, laying a track all the way from my chin to the dip at the base of my throat, before pulling away and cocking his head as if to dare me to tell him off for giving more than he was commanded.

I just frowned at him and received a wicked smile in return.

“Here,” I said pointing to the crease between my breasts. I was still wearing my T-Shirt, so he would have to kiss me through the material, but he had definitely decided he would take a few liberties now, because he ducked down and lifted the base of my T-Shirt up and burrowed underneath, laying long, hot, wet kisses up between my breasts and making me start to writhe against his touch.

Damn. This wasn't meant to happen, I was meant to be in control here. He pulled out and sat back watching me, I could see he was having trouble not laughing out loud at my reaction. He purposefully reschooled his features into a blank mask and waited for my next command, quite prepared to go with the flow for eternity.

I pointed to my pulse at my neck. “Here.” I held his gaze and saw I had him. He'd expected me to continue with the game, everywhere but there. His breath came out in a rush and his own pulse began to jump at his neck, his eyes swirling a delightful dance of violets, faster and faster and faster.

He held my gaze and moved in so very slowly, making it take as long as possible before he found my neck and could no longer look at me. He hesitated, unable to cover the final few millimetres from his lips to my neck, then when I thought he'd give up and pull back his lips crushed against my skin, he licked and then began to suck my skin back into this mouth, his tongue pulsing against what was captured of me inside of him. The sensation was mind blowing. My hands grabbed at his hair pulling him closer, making sure he wouldn't pull back, pull away, stop the magic he was making at my neck.

He didn't, he kept at it, his hands going around behind my shoulders, lifting me off the bed, cradling me as he sucked and licked above my pulse, a strange sound coming from the back of his throat, almost a purr, so beautiful and hypnotic, rolling in time to his sucking.

Finally I found my voice and commanded extremely huskily, “Bite me.”

His fangs entered immediately, his body jerking at the first taste of my blood, his arms going rigid around me, holding me in place as his tongue lapped at my precious blood in his mouth and then the pulls began in earnest. He'd tempered the spike of pain of his fangs entering my flesh immediately with wave after wave of his love, his gratitude, his thanks, his relief at my return to him, his desire for my body, not just my blood.

I floated in his arms as though I was on a cloud, I let his emotions wash over me, filling me up with so much more than what they were on their own. I closed my eyes and went with the feelings, the sensations, I didn't fight, I didn't strain, I wasn't scared. I was in love with the man, the vampire, who held me so tenderly and gratefully took what I offered expecting nothing in return.

This
memory I decided, I would savour for eternity.

We spent the next few hours just lying naked in each others arms, talking softly about everything and nothing, just relishing the warmth of the other, allowing the familiarity to return. Not really talking about the past month, skirting it, not wanting to ruin the moment. Both of us aware it would have to be covered in due course, but not yet.

By about 5pm my stomach had started rumbling, hunger returning at last and I knew if I were to eat now, I would no longer suffer any nausea. Michel had healed me, not just with his
Sanguis Vitam
but with his nearness, his body against mine. The joining and Bond we shared needed this to stay strong, both of us having suffered considerably with our separation. Together again at last, we were finally getting better.

Even Michel had more colour in his face, the gaunt look disappearing, the shadows under eyes no longer so noticeable. Of course, as a vampire, he would always physically heal faster than me, I on the other hand, would need food.

“I'm hungry,” I murmured against his hair, his head bending to lay kisses across my chest for the umpteenth time that day.

“Mm. So am I,” he purred as his face began to nuzzle its way back up to my neck.

I laughed. “Already? Haven't you had your fill?” Vampires tend to only need to feed once a night, no more.

“Never.” He kissed above my pulse point then pulled back to look at me. “However, if you do not eat, I cannot eat. There simply will be nothing left of you to share. So, food.”

He jumped off the bed as though he had all the energy in the world. I just stared at him in wonder as he grabbed a robe from behind the door and slid it on. He slowed his movements as he caught me watching him, slowly tying the sash around his waist, our eyes locked.

“You're definitely looking better,” I grumbled as I slowly got up off the bed. I didn't ache any more, but I was certainly feeling pretty weak still.

He laughed as he came around with another robe for me. “The joys of being vampyre, my dear. For a half human you will recover fairly quickly, but you cannot expect to match my recovery rate.”

I half heartedly glared at him and let him help me into the robe, once on, he pulled it closed and knotted the sash securely.

“No one but me gets past these,” he said quietly, while he double knotted to make sure.

“I think you might regret that later.” It felt right to be teasing Michel again.

“That is what fangs were made for,
ma douce,
” he said pulling me into his arms and kissing me soundly.

It didn't surprise me, that once I got past the memory block to Michel I would want to keep touching him as much as he did me, but I was still left breathless by the deep desire the joining forced upon us to constantly touch. Before I went to America - my new term for that horrid month - I had got used to both the effects of the joining and the effects of the claiming, now having not experienced it for four weeks, it was again a bit of a shock. Still, it didn't frighten, just made me catch my breath at every moment.

“Mm,” Michel murmured against my lips. “Are you sure you are hungry,
ma belle
?”

I pushed against his chest and smiled at him. “It's always all about you, isn't it?” I teased.

“Actually,” he said straightening up and putting on one of his most haughty vampire looks, “I was thinking of ways to distract
you,
my dear. Your pleasure is my only concern.” He bowed low, his hand across his chest.

“Yeah right, Casanova,” I retorted and headed out the door.

“You don't believe me? I can prove it, if you would only return to our boudoir. “

“Uh-uh,” I said shaking my head as I started down the stairs. “Only in your dreams, Romeo.”

I heard him chuckle behind me. “If you only knew what I dreamt about,
ma douce
, you would not be so cruel as to deny me now.” His voice was light, thrumming with happiness.

“I can imagine what you dream about, Michel, aaand how long those dreams would be.”

“Then why fight it? You know you would like it.” The last was said whisper quiet in my ear, his arms having gone around my waist just as we entered the lounge.

Maybe it was the fact that they hadn't seen me in a while, maybe it was the fact that Michel had also been so ill and now look his chirpy self again, but the stunned look on the many vampires sitting in the room we had just entered made me stop in my tracks, my heart leap to my throat and my breath become all but non-existent.

Immediately we were surrounded by extremely happy, relieved, over joyed and excited vampires. All of them clamouring to touch us, to say how pleased they were to see us, to even try to embrace us. I wasn't exactly scared, I mean Michel was holding me, he'd make sure nothing happened, but so many of them in one room, so many coming towards me all at once, did make me freak.

In an instant I was cowering behind Michel and then I was just plain mad. Dammit, he had not only taken me and my memories from me, but Jonathan had taken my courage too. Something I valued above all else, something that was so a part of me. I burst into tears at the injustice of it all.

“Get out,” Michel murmured quietly to the vampires, making sure to shield me from seeing them move. It was only a second and they were all outside the room, but not the house, the sun
was
still up. He turned slowly, taking me in his arms, but unable to stop me crumpling to the floor. He just went with it, until we were both on the carpet, him rocking me backward and forward, stroking my back, whispering it would be all right, I was safe, over and over again in my ear.

I don't know how long he held me for, but eventually I stopped crying and rubbed at my puffy eyes. “Sorry,” I said meekly.

“There is nothing to apologise for. I should have anticipated this. I should have made sure you were not overwhelmed.” His voice was soft, full of compassion, it just made me angrier. Not at him, but at Jonathan, for doing this to us.

“I want him dead,” I whispered.

“It shall be done,” he promised, not needing an explanation of who I was referring to.

We sat there for a while longer, then Michel asked, “Has your appetite returned,
ma douce
?”

I could smell something delicious wafting out of the kitchen as soon as he mentioned my appetite. I had forgotten all about eating, too consumed in my own dark thoughts of revenge, but as soon as I smelled what was surely going to be a roast of some sort, my stomach rumbled loudly.

“I will take that as a yes.” He helped me to my feet and didn't let go of my hand as we entered the kitchen.

Amisi was in her favourite spot at the kitchen bench, slicing up a roasted leg of lamb and serving it up onto a plate.

“Oh. Great.” She smiled and turned to grab an extra plate. “Perfect timing.” I doubted it, she would have been advised we were coming down for food, Michel would have told Erika telepathically, Erika would have passed it on. I knew how it all worked and that only made me smile. The more I could remember, the stronger I would become and when I was strong enough, I would go after Jonathan.

Roast vegetables followed the lamb, then a thick gravy over the top.

“Is this standard Egyptian fare, Amisi?” I asked as Michel ushered me into a seat at the table. I wouldn't let his hand go though, choosing to pick up my fork with my left and use that to stab what I wanted off the plate. He didn't say anything, nor act as though it was strange, he just held it and started rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand in a slow swirl.

My fork clattered to the plate loudly. “Shit,” I muttered. “Sorry.” It had been the thumb on the back of the hand which had done it. Damn, I had known that movement was familiar and when I had mentioned that to Jonathan, he had used it in his act, as though it was something he had always done, not my kindred.

Michel stiffened slightly next to me, only a moment, then continued swirling his thumb lightly over the back of my hand. It was so quick a pause, that I actually wondered whether he had paused at all.

I felt a tear slide down my face at the thought of what Jonathan had done. Amisi had stopped eating, not answering my question, but watching in shock the tear streak down my cheek. When I picked the fork up again and began to nibble on a piece of lamb she relaxed slightly. Michel just continued to stroke my hand, I refused to pull away and deny him that movement, it had been
his
first, not Jonathan's. I was done giving Jonathan anything else.

“I thought I'd educate myself,” Amisi said as though nothing had happened. “Your mum gave me the recipe when I asked her what you would like best.”

Holy shit. Amisi had talked to my mum? “When did you talk to her?” I asked, shovelling another succulent piece of lamb in my mouth and almost groaning with approval. Michel had started laughing quietly beside me, I shot him a look and he just shrugged. He'd always found my reaction to food amusing.

“
I've been deflecting her calls. They never knew you were missing, just on various bank courses, then a holiday to Vanautu and finally a camping trip with your boyfriend. That one got her attention. I may have mentioned you'd been seeing him for a while. She'll expect an update.”

My parents, actually my Aunt and Uncle who have raised me since I was a little baby, didn't know about me being a Nosferatin, let alone me being practically married to a Nosferatu. It would not be something I could bring up over the dinner table if I ever visited the farm again. But, I guess I could pull off a story about a
boyfriend
.

“Any characteristics this boyfriend have I need to know about?” I asked, moving on to the peas and potatoes, the latter cutting up nicely with the fork on its side.

“He's sitting right beside you. I described him to perfection, I think your mum thinks you're dating a god. She definitely wants details. I wasn't going to go there, sorry.” She didn't sound sorry.

I just scoffed. A god, indeed.

“That's not what you were thinking a few hours ago,
ma douce,
” Michel teased.

OK I may have choked a little then, Michel's free hand came out to pat me delicately on the back. He wasn't really concerned, I'm sure he knew how I would react to him reading my mind. I had totally forgotten that he was able to that, I guess the connection had clicked back on.

“When? I mean, since when have you been able to read my mind again.” I chanced a glance at him, his eyes were watching me intently.

“Since you woke earlier today.” His voice was soft.

I wondered when he was going to let me know that was happening and then I wondered if I had thought anything that I would regret.

I cleared my throat. “Since I woke, or you woke?” It seemed a silly question, surely he couldn't read my mind when still asleep, but then had he been? Maybe it was all an act.

He glanced at Amisi, but she was looking at her plate and studiously concentrating on her lamb, pretending either we weren't there or she wasn't.

“The first conscious thought I received of yours was your terror when my fangs scraped your neck and you jumped from the bed.”

Amisi abruptly stood up and mumbled something about washing needing to be folded and practically ran from the room.

Michel went on, ignoring Amisi's exit. “You had enough to worry about without that complication, I wanted to spare you a little longer, but I had not intended it to be as long as it was. One thing led to another and before I knew it we were downstairs and again my vampyres set you back and...”

I put my free hand up to his lips to stop him, I could tell he was frantic to explain, to make it right. I wanted to be angry at him, hell I was pretty much filled with anger right now, a good thing as it kept me focused on Jonathan, but that was where I wanted my anger to go, not at Michel. “It's OK Michel. It's OK. There
is
a lot to take in, my memories are still coming back at odd times, I get sensations which were normal before, but feel so foreign initially now, but... I need you. Near me, with me, maybe even reading me right now. Some of what I feel and what I went through, I don't know if I will ever be able to say it all aloud.” I paused, thinking it over. “You have my permission to listen in, OK?” I smiled up at him, he visibly relaxed, took my hand he had been holding and softly kissed the back of it with his lips.

“I would do anything to make this better, anything.” His eyes flashed amethyst and indigo, bright purples across the blue.

“You already are.”

He smiled and shifted his seat closer to mine, wrapping an arm around my shoulders he kissed my temple and then rested his head against me. “Use both hands,
ma douce
. Eat properly and as much as you can, I want you back resting in our bed.”

I laughed as I let him cuddle me and began eating my beautiful dinner in earnest. “Can you get Amisi back in, she needs to eat too. She looks like she's lost weight.”

“Both my girls have,” he said, squeezing my shoulder. I kind of liked that he thought of Amisi as one of his girls too. I knew at that moment, that she was so very important to me too. “It is done, Erika will also join us.”