Give Up On Me (2 page)

Those guys never left important meetings to go to Walgreen’s and grab Janae medicine because she was sick. She had never asked him to, but he was that worried. Oh, yeah, she would take a sensitive man over an alpha in a heart beat. Not to say that Matt couldn’t be dominant. He knew how to do that, too—very well.

“Janae.”

She stirred from her reverie and looked at him. Matt didn’t call her by her name often. Most of the time she was “honey,” and she liked it. On the occasions he said her name, she melted, and she suspected he knew it.

“I need you as my wife, and I
will
have you.”

See? There’s that alpha. Yum!

“Well, it takes two to tango, baby. Will you let me think about it for a bit?”

“Of course.” He grasped her hand and kissed it. “But don’t take too long, or I will have to think up a plan of seduction to convince you.”

“That’s blackmail.”

“Not when it will be good for you either way.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

He chuckled. The waiter brought their food, and they sat eating and talking. Just as she knew he would, Matt asked her about her day and fully expected her to tell him. She rambled on for the rest of the night, enjoying the touch and attention of the perfect man.

T
he office
for Wilson Renovation Services was situated in Somerville in the cramped space of three storefronts made into one. When Janae’s dad had set up business twenty-five years ago, the strip mall was far less developed. Rent and utilities back then were reasonable. Nowadays, they seemed to go up every other month. Of course, it might be a figment of her imagination, but since she handled her dad’s books, she knew they skated close to red.

The entrance into the office led to Monique’s desk, the secretary. The area directly behind her space displayed the company name on the wall in a big, ugly font, various cabinet door samples, and paint swatches. Janae would have liked to see muted tones on the wall instead of the cheap wooden panels and maybe ceiling spotlights rather than more ugliness from the nineteen seventies.

The space needed serious updating, but there just wasn’t any money in the budget. Besides, her dad claimed they didn’t need fancy offices as long as they got the job done right. She often argued with him pointlessly that customers would trust his and his men’s abilities much quicker with nicer offices. They might even be able to raise prices. At the raise prices point, her dad had checked out of the conversation.

“You’re frowning, Janae.”

She looked away from her computer screen to see her dad walking into her office. Fathers apparently never knocked. “I’m not.”

“You are.” He dropped into the comfy chair across from her desk and folded one leg over the other.

Unlike the reception area and her dad’s personal office, Janae had done up her office in style. She had one of the men rip the awful wood panels off her walls and prime them so she could paint them Prussian blue. Frames of waterfalls and landscapes gave off an air of tranquility. Sometimes she thought her dad stopped by just to enjoy the cozy atmosphere.

“You’re worrying about money, and I want you to stop,” he instructed her.

He dug a handkerchief out of his pocket and ran it over his head. Balding on top, he looked every bit of his fifty-five years. Permanent bags under his eyes from long nights working and a round belly despite the physical labor, he didn’t resemble the man he was when she started working at the company.

Back then at eighteen, she still thought her dad could do no wrong and that he was right about everything. She was naïve. Her dad was a good, honest man, but his heart was so huge he let it get in the way of business. When she went to college for accounting, the company was floundering, and she had worried it wouldn’t last before she learned enough to be able to help. Now that she was twenty-nine and had gained some experience, they still had lots of trouble, but they were hanging in there.

“It’s not money I’m worrying about this time,” she said. “Well, not only money.”

Her dad patted the seat beside him. She slid her chair back. This was another thing about growing up in a household without a mother. He was her confidant. She had shared everything with him, even the stuff a father didn’t want to know.

She sat beside him, and he held out an arm. Janae wrinkled her nose. “Okay, but just for a minute, Dad. You seem to forget I’m all grown up.”

“I haven’t forgotten, but you’ll always be daddy’s little girl.”

She groaned.

“What’s bothering you? I’m sure we can fix it together.”

“We always do, don’t we? But not this time.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Dad, Matt wants me to marry him.”

“It’s about damn time.”

She pulled away from his side. “Seriously?”

“You’re getting old. Before you know it, you won’t be able to give me grandkids.”

“Oh, so it’s about you?” She laughed, shaking her head. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll probably be nice and fertile until forty, but if you think I’m giving you grandkids at that age, think again.”

“Well, what’s stopping you now? I’ve seen the look in your eyes when you talk about him. You love him, and he’s a decent enough man. I can give him a speech about how I’ll kill him if he hurts you and all that.”

“Um, no. I think I got it in that arena.”

“Then?”

“I don’t like the idea of marriage. To be tied down and stuck with one person.”

He flared his nostrils, something he did whenever he believed someone was lying and he wanted to tell them so without calling them out. Her dad’s nose was pretty big, especially at the nostrils. She recalled how as a kid, his nose looked like a target. What could a bold little two-year-old do but jam her finger up there to see what kind of reaction she would get. Janae almost laughed remembering. The memory eased the somber mood she was in just a bit.

She sighed and sat back in his embrace again. “I’m scared, Dad. If he leaves me, I don’t know what I’ll do. If I stand up there in church and give my vow to stay by him, even though I mean every word, there’s nothing to stop him from breaking his vows later. He’s rich as all get out. He’ll have loads of temptation, much more than an average joe.”

“You didn’t fall in love with an average joe. Even if you did, there are no guarantees in life. You talk about he could break his vows. So might you.”

She looked at him, knowing what he was thinking. Funny how they both had the same person on their mind, her mother. “So you think I’m going to be like
her
?”

“No, of course not! You’re your daddy’s girl, and I raised you.”

“Again with it’s all about you thing, Dad?”

He shrugged, grinning. “Janae, I kid you, but I’m the proudest father in the world. I know you’re a good person. You’ll always do what’s right.”

“Dad, I’m human. I make mistakes. I’m just trying to figure out what to do now.”

“Let me rephrase. You will always
try
to do the right thing. I don’t believe for a second you would run out on your husband, but that doesn’t mean as a human your feelings can’t change. Neither does it mean his can’t. We don’t know what will happen in the future.”

Janae leaned forward and dropped her head into her hands. Her dad rubbed her back. In her mind, she went over the choices. Did she marry him as he wanted or hold out for what she wanted? What was the compromise? When she thought about marrying him, her fears rose to the point that she almost gagged and ran screaming into the night.

“Think of it this way,” her dad said as if he read her mind. “As much as it hurt me when your mother left, I had eleven years with her. Over a decade of absolute joy. Every day wasn’t sunshine, but even in the rain I got to look at her and hold her and know that she was mine. That time was worth the pain, and if I had it to do all over again, I would in a minute.”

Janae looked at him. His steady gaze told her he meant what he said. They had never discussed whether he regretted marrying her mother. Now, she tried to sense whether it would be the same for her. Did she love Matt enough to risk losing him? How odd to think of marriage in those terms. Not did she love him enough to marry him but love him enough to risk losing him.

“That’s deep,” she murmured.

Her dad smirked. “Your father is a deep man.”

Janae rolled her eyes. “You’re a mess.”

The buzzer sounded at Janae’s desk, and they both glanced over to it. Monique’s voice came over the speaker. “Mr. Wilson, did you forget you have an appointment in twenty minutes with the new client?”

Janae jumped to her feet, letting out a shriek. “Dad, are you kidding me? Please tell me that’s not Bennett and Company.”

The man had the nerve to blush, but he rose as well. “If we do a good job for Samuel Bennett, all our troubles will be gone.”

She glared at him. “Not all our troubles, but a huge block of them. And it means if we do it right, he’ll likely give word of mouth references that will then put us on easy street. Now quit standing here talking to me and get out of here.”

Her dad shuffled to the door. She noticed him working his right shoulder as he walked, and she made a mental note to remind him to see his doctor about it. Hopefully, he wasn’t developing arthritis. Another idea might be to get him a gift certificate for a massage. If she didn’t force him to go, he wouldn’t.

When she was alone in her office, Janae took a seat at her desk, and pulled up the report she had been working on before her father interrupted her. Unfortunately, she couldn’t concentrate. While her dad had given her food for thought, she still felt confused and most of all scared.

A text came in over her cell, and she checked the screen.

“Honey, what do you think of Paris for a honeymoon?”

“I thought you were giving me time to think?”

“I just got out of a meeting, and I couldn’t stop my fingers. Would you like me to wait until later to talk?”

She wanted him to tell her how a man who spent most of his time in meetings could type like a demon. Her speed was okay, but texting, he might as well be one of the teenagers who could burn up a cell phone texting so fast.

“Paris, he says.” She grumbled under her breath, although there was no one in her office who would hear. At one point, Janae had a plan to save up enough money every year to start taking some trips before she got too old.

After her dad’s company hit a few harsh bumps, she had taken a pay cut to try to reduce the impact to the employees. Unfortunately, she was one person. Her dad barely drew a salary. His house was paid for, and all he did was work. His bills were minimal, so he could slice and dice his pay in order to give more to his people. Janae admired him for that and felt good about her own money decision. Paying her own way to Paris was out of the question. Leaning on Matt for his money, no way.

“Paris sounds nice, but I need to stay close to home, and I haven’t decided about the other thing.”

“The other thing?”

She grunted.
“Getting married.”

“I’ll wear you down.”

“Oops, got a meeting. Talk to you tonight.”

“Okay, just let me know.”

She laid her cell phone down and leaned back in her chair. The numbers on her computer screen blurred. Unbidden, an image of herself slid into her mind, of her and Matt standing at the altar. She could almost feel the weight of the ring he glided onto her finger, and she hugged herself, dispelling the vision.

A knock sounded on her door, and she walked over to open it. George Gonzalez stood there, one of her dad’s men. He had been with her dad from the beginning, and Janae knew him and his wife and kids. About her dad’s age, George looked just as beat down, but she wasn’t surprised. He probably worked just as hard. What Janae loved about him was that he was fiercely loyal to her dad and the company. Last year, when Janae had to tell her dad everybody’s salaries had to be cut by ten percent, he baulked when it came to George.

“The man has four kids and a wife, Janae. We can’t do that to him.”

“I understand that, but Dad, we’re in the red, and nobody will get a penny if we lose the company altogether. Besides, it would get out if you show favoritism. Suck it up, and do what you have to do.”

He had looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Who is this woman I raised?”

She had shoved him out of her office. “The one that’s going to save your hide.”

In the end, George had taken the news well, but Janae sometimes saw worry in his eyes that mirrored her dad’s. She didn’t like that look. Later, there had also been rumors of George getting another part-time job. He already worked like an animal. She didn’t know how he did it.

“George, come in.” She stepped back, opening the door wider. “Was there something I could do for you?”

Janae led him to the visitor’s chair near her desk and took her own seat. He dropped into it a little heavily and rubbed his hands over worn pants. “I was looking for your dad. Do you know when he’ll be in again?”

“No, he had an important meeting, but I thought he was working with you guys on the apartment complex.”

His face fell. “No, that work is on hold. There’s a dispute over the supplies.”

Janae frowned. “He didn’t tell me that.”

Her stomach turned. A postponement in finishing the complex meant delayed money. If the dispute couldn’t be settled, it might mean a total loss. Sometimes, property owners wanted to cut corners, and her dad didn’t play that game. Cutting corners to save money might get people killed. Not happening, not with her dad’s company and name on the line, not to mention the moral aspect.

“Is there anything I can help you with in the meantime?” she asked.

While she spoke, Janae noticed how bad his eyes looked. They were always red from lack of sleep, but today they were also puffy. He hesitated, and she waited while he gathered his thoughts. The thing about George was, he was kind but not overly social. He kept to himself with his head down and worked hard. Her dad had once said if he pushed George to say more than he was ready to, he clammed up, and one couldn’t get anything out of him.

“I was just wondering if you’ll be taking the freeze off working overtime soon.”

Janae winced. “That’s up to my dad, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be happening any time soon. The market is just rough right now, and competition is ridiculous.”

His face fell. Janae licked her lips, and weighed whether she should risk pressing for why he suddenly asked about overtime. Not since the year before had anyone been allowed to work overtime.

“Is there a reason you’re asking?” She couldn’t help it, but maybe George’s desperation kept his butt in the chair to talk to her.

“Annie’s just been diagnosed with cancer.” His voice was so flat and emotionless she thought maybe she heard him wrong. Then she saw the pain and fear, and her heart broke. Tears flooded her eyes.

“Oh no, George, I’m so sorry.” She pressed a hand over her mouth. The kids were all under ten, and as reserved as George was, she could see at their last company picnic that he loved his wife.

“The insurance we chose at enrollment was all we could afford as far as premiums,” George explained. “Annie said the most important thing was for the kids to be covered if any of them got sick. We figured we would be okay.”

“Of course.”

George was close to her dad’s age, maybe slightly younger, but his wife was ten years his junior. Regardless, health insurance premiums for a woman in her forties were outrageous.