Girls Like Us (19 page)

But what Lizabeth did was bad wrong. Maybe she meant to do a good thing, but she’s a full-grown woman and she ain’t no Speddie and should know when right is right and wrong is wrong. How can I trust her anymore? It’s hard knowing that real people can make mistakes just like girls like us.

But they’s one thing I hasn’t talk to Biddy about.

I seen Robert yesterday.

I was on my break at the Brown Cow. It was looking like rain and I wanted to smell that fresh, good rain smell. And Robert was sitting there in the parking lot. He was in his friend’s car. I start back to the big doors, afraid he was gonna jump out that car and grab me. But his friend start up the motor. He pull out to go into the street, and Robert lean his whole shoulders and chest out the window and yell, “I know where you live, Ho. I know your stupid friend live there too. I know about that rich old lady.”

He put his finger up and made like he cut his throat with a knife. Then he howl like a wild animal.

I don’t know what to do. If I tell Biddy, she be scared as me. Lizabeth might fall over dead if she know some evil-minded boy know where she live and that she rich.

Maybe I should just run away. That way Biddy and Lizabeth be safe, and Robert couldn’t find me neither. But I don’t know no place to run to.

Ms. Delamino can’t help me. Nobody wants to live with me now. Who would want to live with me with some evil boy after her and anybody ’round her?

If I tell Lizabeth what that boy done to me, would she think I was trash?

The police ain’t gonna believe no kinda girl like me if I tole anything. Folks like me ain’t worth they trouble.

I dreamed me some fierce, evil dreams when I finally slept.

This morning after my hot shower with plenty of hard scrubbin’, I packed me up a bag. I was for sure that I was goin’ to be leavin’ this little ’partment soon. I went next door and I made oatmeal and sliced peaches and buttered-up toast. Lizabeth came in and we ate, but only Biddy and her was doing the talking. When Biddy stood up to take the plates, I said, “I be needing to tell you something.”

Lizabeth made a frown. “I sensed that something was troubling you, Quincy.”

“My trouble ’bout to spill onto both of you now.”

Biddy’s eyes got all round, and she sat back down. She shook her head like to tell me not to say nothing.

“Biddy, I got to do this. I been thinking hard.”

I tole Lizabeth about what Robert done. That ole lady turn almost gray in the face, but she kept her shoulders straight and her eyes locked onto mine. I tole it all.

I ’spected Lizabeth to tell me to get right on out her house, but then she said something that made the world turn backwards and do the sidestroke. She didn’t say nothing ’bout me bringing this on my ownself. She didn’t say that I had to get out her house. She didn’t say that I was stupid and now some crazy mean boy might break in her house and knock her on her head.

“Oh, Quincy. What can I do to help you?” she said. She had tears in her eyes, but they didn’t tumble down her cheek. Just looking at that ole woman make me feel . . . strong, maybe. I didn’t feel dirty.

Biddy and me, we look at each other like monkeys done jumped out that ole lady’s mouth and danced on they hands.

“I can help you with the police if you decide to report this . . .” She pinch her lips together. “Well, I won’t say out loud what I think he is.”

“NO!” Biddy jump out her chair so hard she knock it backwards. “No, Quincy cain’t tell nobody else.”

Lizabeth got all soft-eyed. “Oh, Biddy, I think I can understand why you would say that. I can see that Quincy is afraid too.” She shook her head. Then she put her hand on my hand. “Quincy, you are a woman. You can make your own decisions — I’m not going to meddle and risk making things worse. I can’t force you to tell the police. But I think you should.”

“I tole you about all this,” I said to Lizabeth, “not ’cause I want you to help with the police. But ’cause I feel wrong, letting Robert be out there, watching you and Biddy, without you knowing that he could hurt you.”

Biddy got her chair back up and sat. She lean across the table like getting close made what she said easier to understand.

“You ain’t by yourself no more. You got us to watch for you. And I can watch for that old Robert.”

Biddy, she was talking brave, but I could see the scared in her face.

“Do you think this Robert will harm us?” Lizabeth axt.

“Not if I don’t open my mouth. I don’t think he want nothing but to make sure I don’t get him in trouble. I think if we don’t say nothin’, then we’s safe.”

“But what about the harm that he’s done to you already? Doesn’t that count?”

Biddy and I both look down at the table. I could hardly make my voice come out my throat. “Lizabeth, peoples like you count. People like me, it just different.”

“One day, I hope, you’ll know that you’re wrong about that,” Lizabeth say.

Next thing I knowed all three of us was having us a snot-nosed crying jag.

I thought about it a long time. I thought whilst I work on Biddy’s present. I thought whilst I chop and dice at the Brown Cow. I thought whilst Biddy watch the TV. I got tired thinking so hard. I felt like giving up, and sometimes I just cried and Biddy had to make me coffee to bring me around.

“Biddy,” I said, “what if we wrong? What if them police ain’t like your granny? I got these scars on me. Them police won’t think I done that to myself.”

Biddy sigh and she turnt off the TV. “We orphans, and the policemans they know that. They don’t care what happen. They don’t care if you tell the truth or not.”

I tug at my hair like it could make my head bigger and some smart could get inside. “We ain’t orphans. We got a mother and father somewhere. They ain’t dead.”

“Quincy, we’re . . . heart orphans. Never had nobody that loved us. That makes us different. It ain’t because you a mix-up race. It ain’t because I had a child that got took away. Why should policemans care what happen if nobody ever cared?”

I didn’t say nothing. I laid down on my bed.

I never been close to nobody. I always knew not to love nobody ’cause I’d just get taken away and put in another home. People were mean to me more than they was ever nice. The ones that were nice were ones that was paid. Like Ms. Evans and Ms. D., and, well, even Mr. Hallis and the other foster folks got paid.

But there was a feeling I had when Biddy tole me stuff and Lizabeth pet my hand. A feelin’ that pulled me close.

Biddy be wrong. I care that Robert might hurt her ’cause of me. Lizabeth tried to make it so Biddy could see her took-away baby. If Biddy got two peoples that care about her and what happen to her, then she ain’t no heart orphan no more. Is she?

Biddy, she come out in the world, even in the dark when I was late from work. That fool girl was worried ’bout me. She still walkin’ me to and from the Brown Cow. Lizabeth didn’t put me out her house or even this ’partment. She even had a taxicab come fetch us and took me to a doctor lady that did tests on my blood and checked me out to see if Robert done me any kind of bad that I wasn’t smart enough to wonder ’bout yet. Nobody paid Biddy and Lizabeth to do none of that. That means I ain’t no heart orphan anymore neither, don’t it?