Girl to Come Home To (20 page)

So Diana had one night of restful, happy sleep, and then very early the next morning, the telephone rang, and her mother’s angry voice called her, demanding that she come back into the world from which she had fled.

“I’m sorry, Mother—” she began, but the sharp voice at the other end of the wire interrupted her.

“No, there is no use for you to begin making excuses,” said the angry voice of her mother. “I’m not going to have any more of this. You are my child, and I know what is right and fitting for one of our family. I’m not going to have you playing fast and loose with a man as fine and distinguished and definitely wonderful as Bates Hibberd. It just can’t be done, and I
demand
that you come home at once, starting this morning! That is an order from your mother!”

There was a distinct moment of silence, and then Diana, trying to keep her voice from trembling, said firmly, “Listen, Mother! Have you forgotten that I am of age and have a right to control my own movements?”

“
Indeed!
” said the icy voice of the parent.

“I don’t like to talk like that to you, Mother dear, but this is something that I have to decide for myself. I am
not
going to marry a man because he is fine and distinguished and wonderful. That isn’t what you married my father for, I know, for you’ve often told me how you cared about him, and I certainly do not care for Bates in that way. I think marriage would be awful without love!”

“Nonsense!” said the mother. “You don’t know what love is! You’re too young to know!”

“Then I’m too young to get married,” said Diana firmly.

“That’s ridiculous! If you are as young as that you’d better realize that your mother knows what’s best for you, better than you do. You’ll love him all right when you are married to him. Besides he’s likely going away to war again very soon, and you’ll have plenty of time to get used to the idea after he’s left for overseas. It would really be best for you to marry him at once and get the question settled. It isn’t fair to him to keep him uncertain.”

“He need not be uncertain, Mother. I have written him very fully, and I’m sure he could not misunderstand. I told him I hoped he would soon find someone else to make him happy and that we would of course always be friends.”

“Yes, I know that you have written. Bates brought your letter over to me to read the first thing this morning, and I consider it was a most insulting letter for a daughter of mine to write to a good respectable young man, one who belongs to a fine old family and has always been most kind and attentive to you. A man who has offered you his love and his name—”

“I beg your pardon, Mother, I don’t think he ever did. He just ordered me to be engaged to him and told me we were going to be married, in spite of the fact that I told him I wasn’t
ready
to marry
anyone
at present; and that isn’t my idea of love. I said no every time he talked about the subject, and that is the reason that I ran away from home when he came back. I wanted to think this thing all out and know exactly how I felt. And now I know, Mother, and I am
not
going to marry Bates. I’m not even going to be engaged to him
tentatively
or anything like that. And I
mean
what I say! I’ve grown up, Mother, and I know what I
don’t
want. And I’m not coming home just now. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’ve made certain engagements to do things and go places here, and I’m going to keep them. I’ll run up to New York for a day or so for your drive, just to go on record, but I’m coming right back here until you’ve put aside all idea of this Bates Hibberd proposition and I can come home and be myself without danger of running into an argument.”

“Diana, I
insist
that you come home at once!”

“No, Mother, not now.”

“Diana, you don’t know what you are doing to your life!”

“Yes, Mother, I definitely do, and it’s what I want to do.”

“You’ll be sorry!”

“No, I won’t be sorry!”

“Diana, you never talked to your mother this way before.”

“No, Mother, and I wish I didn’t have to do it now, but if I had done it before, perhaps I wouldn’t have to be doing it now. I mean if I had told you long ago how I felt about Bates and the way he took me for granted as if I belonged to him, ordered me around and everything, I think you would have understood that I would
never
care for him.”

“Diana, I can’t listen to any more of this silly twaddle over the telephone. You simply must come home at once! If you think you are grown up, then act it. This isn’t the way a refined, well-bred woman acts toward her mother. I want you to come home now and get this straightened out at once. It breaks my heart to have any differences come between us. You must come without delay. I am sure I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown over this, and you must come today if you want to prevent any such result.”

“Well, Mother, I’m sorry I can’t come for an appeal like that, but it just happens that I have promised to go with Beryl this morning, and she really needs me. There is quite a good deal involved in this. We’re going down to the canteen to teach the servicemen to sing a chorus for an hour on the radio that we’re preparing them for, and I have to play for the singing, because we have only one copy of the music and I’m the only one who knows it.”

“How silly! Let them choose another song then.”

“It’s too late, Mother. Beryl has already gone, and I wouldn’t know how to reach her. She had to go early to get the chairs arranged. And besides, it’s almost time for their last rehearsal, and they come on at two o’clock, so you see I’ve got to rush, even now.”

“Well, then, come on the three o’clock train.”

“But Mother, we’re due at a dinner right after that. We’ve barely time to get dressed after we get back from the broadcast. And Mother, it’s just as I told you. Every minute is arranged for up to the last of next week. I really couldn’t change things. It would be awfully rude after Mr. Sanderson has spent so much time and money arranging to get us tickets and reservations for all the activities we’ve planned.”

“But Diana, I don’t know you. You never acted like this before when I asked you as a favor to me to do something.”

“Mother, you were always reasonable, all my life. You never wanted me to do rude things, simply for a whim. I am quite sure anything you want to say about this matter of Bates can wait until I come. And I’m sure if I came now you would get no other answer from me than the one I have given. I am not engaged to Bates, and I never will be, no matter how desirable you may think he is. It would be I who would have to live with him afterward, and that I
never will
do.”

“Oh, Diana. How you are grieving me! I am sure when you think this over you will be ashamed, and I shall be waiting to see you arrive on a later train this evening.”

“No, Mother, I can’t do that. Good-bye now, I must go.” And Diana, in response to a call from downstairs, hung up the receiver, snatched her hat and gloves, and hurried down the stairs and out the door. She was almost sure she heard the phone ringing again as she went down the street, but the bus was almost to the corner and she had to run to catch it.

Diana, as she settled down in the only vacant seat, was not very happy in her heart. Somehow it came to her that this did not seem to be a very good way to begin a Christian life, being almost rude to her beloved mother, refusing to grant her request. But what else could she have done? If there had been any real need of her at home, if her mother had really been ill, of course she would have gone at once, no matter how many engagements had to be broken. But she knew her mother’s ways, and she was well aware that if she had been quite free to go it would only mean a long session of arguments, with Bates dragged into them, until she was wearied of her life. She could not yield this time and get into the toils of those two again. Too many times she had been argued with until she scarcely knew how to answer, and this was what she had come off here for, to get away from that demand to marry Bates, or at least to let her mother give her an announcement party and be in the public eye in such a way that she could not get away from it without seeming to be dishonorable, or what would be worse in her mother’s eyes, without making it appear that Bates had let her down. How her soul shrank from such dishonorable actions!

All the way into the canteen hall where they were to practice, Diana sat with closed eyes and quietly prayed in her heart,
Dear Lord, show me what to do. Help me somehow to keep my obligations and yet not to hurt my dear mother
.

Now
, she said in her heart as she got out of the bus at her destination,
please help me to forget this and do my duty till it is over, and then show me what is right
.

The rehearsal went well. Diana roused from her distractions and played with abandon and interest, and the sailors sang well. The radio man came in as they were singing the final song, and he applauded. “That’s great!” he said genially. “If you do that well this afternoon, you’ll bring the house down.”

The rest of the day was so full that Diana had no time to think anymore of her own perplexing problems. She had cast them off on her new Burden-Bearer, and she was just resting on that.

But when they got back to the Sanderson home just at dinnertime, there was the telephone ringing, and Diana looked up alertly as the maid said, “Miss Winters, that phone is for you. Your mother has been trying to get you all the afternoon.” Then the great burden of worry dropped down upon her young shoulders again like a heavy weight. As she went toward the telephone, her hands trembling almost too much to take down the receiver, she was praying in her heart,
Oh my heavenly Father, please help me. Show me what to say, make me understand what I ought to do
.

Then came her mother’s voice, no longer sharp and implacable. Just hurried, almost apologetic.

“Diana, is that you? Have you come at last? Well, I’ve been trying to get you for the last two hours. I’m glad you’ve come, for I have to leave almost at once. Your father is preparing to go to California for a couple of weeks and he wants me to go with him, so you better delay your return till I get back. I have just been talking with Bates, and he has received unexpected orders to report back at camp as soon as he can get there. He will be back again later, and all these matters can be settled then. So now you can keep your promises to your friend and turn over in your mind this question about your engagement, and see if you don’t want to change your mind. So I hope you will be satisfied. But meantime, I forgive you for your rudeness, and I hope you will be able to see things sensibly by the time I get back. I will write you on the way and give you our address later so you can write me. Meantime, have a good time, darling, and get ready in your mind for a grand big announcement party when we get back. Now good-bye, dearest. I must go. Your father is calling.”

As Diana hung up the receiver and turned to go, her face was alight.

“What’s the matter, dear?” asked Beryl. “You look as if you had received a reprieve.”

“I have,” said Diana smiling. “I was afraid I was going to have to go home at once and miss all your nice times, but now the plans have changed and I can stay till we get back from Washington.”

“How grand!” said Beryl. “But somehow the look on your face was more than just being glad over a good time.”

“Well, it was,” said Diana. “I was wondering if God always helps fix troublesome things for you when you cry to Him for help?”

Beryl’s face grew suddenly grave. “Oh, I wouldn’t know,” she said. “I don’t think I ever tried it, but I shouldn’t be surprised if He
did
. You ask the boys. They’ll know.”

“I will,” said Diana with a sweet look in her eyes. “But oh, I’m so glad God worked this out for me, for I was terribly afraid I was going to have to go home and have a very hard time, with my mother arrayed against me and an old playmate determined to marry me right away—and I didn’t
want
to.”

“My dear!” said Beryl. “I’m so glad for you. I knew you didn’t love that man you talked about yesterday. Well, now we can have a nice time going to Washington, can’t we?”

“Yes,” said Diana with a happy smile. “And I’m so glad that my mother isn’t angry with me. She has always been very domineering and insisted I should go her way, but I do love her, and I hate to have her out of harmony with me.”

“Of course you do, dear. I understand.”

“Beryl, you are the most understanding friend I have. Except perhaps my father. He always seems to know what I mean and to feel just as I do about things. He’s a wonderful daddy!”

“So is mine,” said Beryl. “But my mother usually understands, too.”

“Yes, you have a wonderful mother!”

“Yes, I have,” said Beryl, “except perhaps sometimes she’s a little bit afraid of things I want to do.”

“But that’s because she loves you so and wants to put a hedge around you to protect you.”

“Yes,” said Beryl, “and perhaps if you would study the subject carefully, you might find that the things your mother wants for you are things she
thinks
would protect you.”

Diana studied her friend’s face seriously. “Perhaps you’re right,” she admitted slowly. “She probably thinks Bates’ riches and power and influence will be a wall around me to make me safe everywhere, and she doesn’t realize at all what it would be to marry someone I do not love. She is so thoroughly sold on Bates herself, having always admired him from the time he was a child, that she cannot take it in that I am not. She thinks I haven’t grown up yet and don’t know my own mind, but that it would be all right if I found myself married to such a wonderful young man. This, I suppose, is because I was so undecided myself when I came away from home. I was trying to please everybody except myself, and yet not yield to my own uneasy feelings. Thank you for giving me that thought. I must treat my mother much more tenderly in the future. I can see I have not always done that, especially yesterday on the telephone. But I am thankful that she was in such a hurry getting ready to go with Father that I think for the time being she had forgotten it. I must write her a sweet letter and help her to keep forgetting.”