Girl Seven (10 page)

‘If I hadn’t come and seen you today, were you just going to ignore me until I got the message?’

He looked at his hands and shrugged. ‘Honestly... I’m not proud of it. I might have done. I’d have... Christ, I’d have ignored you right now and run away if I could. Is that sad? That’s fucking sad. What a prick.’

‘At least you’re upfront about that.’

‘Being a prick?’

‘Yeah.’ I went to take a packet of cigarettes out of my bag and hesitated. ‘Am I even allowed to smoke in here now?’

‘No, she, er... doesn’t like it.’

‘What do you do?’

‘Smoke out of the window.’

‘Jesus... Pussy-whipped.’ I put the packet away again, keeping the laptop in the corner or my eye, and sniffed. ‘Fuck, I’m not going to lie... This sucks.’

‘We’re friends, aren’t we?’

‘Are we?’ I saw the chance for an escalation and took it, my eyes welling up. ‘Are we really gonna be friends, Noel? Caroline’s just gonna let us hang out and, what, go... fucking bowling or something? Carry on going to art galleries and shit like nothing happened and you’re not married and... not even allowed to smoke in your own fucking flat?’

I dropped my bag and cigarettes contemptuously by my feet, put my head in my hands and started crying.

‘Seven... Shit.’ He got up and stood over me, flapping, not sure whether to touch me. ‘Please, come on, stop crying. You shouldn’t cry over me anyway—’

‘You’re not going to fire me, are you?’ I looked up at him with tear-streaked eyes, smudged mascara, and his expression was one of sheer terror. ‘Am I going to be able to carry on working?’

‘Yes! God, yes, Seven, I’m not going to fire you. Come on.’ He put his hands on my shoulders and I continued to sob for a while.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, thinking that I should be awarded a fucking Oscar. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s got into me... I just... I really care about you, you know.’

For a moment the crying almost became laughter, but I pulled it together. I could only imagine I had dragged Noel into his worst living nightmare.

‘Can I...?’ he ventured, giving my shoulders a squeeze. ‘Shall I make you some tea or... coffee?’

Fucking yes.

I nodded, shielding my eyes.

‘Yeah, I’d really like that.’ I clutched his hand for good measure. ‘I’d
really
like that.’

He never fucking remembered that I didn’t drink coffee.

With a barely audible sigh of relief, Noel left me and crossed the living room into his kitchen, shutting the door behind him. I could see him leaning against the side and taking some deep breaths, psyching himself up for the return, making the coffee as slowly as possible.

Doing my best to block out the horrific reality of the danger I was in, I slid the laptop towards me, found my way on to his day-by-day planner that was open next to his emails, and scrolled through it for any names.

The name ‘Issa’ came up a couple of times over the last fortnight. I clicked on one of his emails and saw nothing but a date and time. No place.

I paused, trying to hear anything over the sound of the kettle boiling that might warn me if Noel was coming back in.

Nothing.

I started scrolling again but everything else in his email history seemed innocuous. I wiped my eyes and searched his inbox again for the name Issa. This time I opened a couple of emails between Noel and Ronnie, discussing a drop-off. Issa was copied in. Full name Issa Taggart.

I noticed his most recent email was from Caroline and paused, a lump in my throat.

A cupboard opened and shut in the kitchen and I jumped, snapping back from the laptop.

The top of Noel’s head appeared, tentatively, around the half-open door.

‘Sorry, I don’t remember how you take it?’

I almost couldn’t speak, my heart pounding and jaw locked. ‘Um... white. Sugar.’

He nodded and disappeared again, not even glancing at the laptop. The kettle had boiled, so I had a few minutes. I knew it was an idiotic thing to do, only more likely to get me caught, but I clicked on the email from Caroline anyway.

‘
Heeeey, going to be late home. Hitting gym with the girls. I’m so proud of you for everything you said this morning! You can do it. :) I love you I love you I love you! xxxx
’.

Fuck, it was horrible.

I read it again, when I shouldn’t even have let myself read it the first time.

As in if in a trance I went to his Sent Messages to find a reply.

‘
I mean it. I love you I love you I love you. N xx
’.

He’d never written like that to me. It was as if I was reading correspondence from another human being entirely.

I read it again, but just the ‘I love you’s’ this time
,
and closed everything down with a loud sigh of relief. It took me a while to stop shaking and breathe normally. I’d stopped fake crying when my head had started to ache from the effort.

When Noel came back through with the coffee I wasn’t that interested in seeing the charade through. I was too angry with him to pretend to be hurt.

He put a cup of coffee down next to my hand and I ignored it.

‘Are you even happy?’ I asked. ‘Really? I mean, I can’t help but think that in a few months you’ll ring me up and everything will just start all over again, except every time you’ll sound a little bit less happy and a little bit more unhappy.’

That part wasn’t insincere. I decided that part I actually meant.

‘You’re probably right,’ he said, sitting down, unrepentant.

I snorted. ‘I’m probably right, huh?’

‘Yeah, I... Seven, I respect you too much to lie and say nothing is going to happen again. We have history, you know. That means something, right? But I promise, I truly fucking promise it’ll never affect your job.’

My job. Christ.

I almost couldn’t believe that he had the gall to say that to me, and then he had the audacity to reach across the tabletop and take my hand. The gesture didn’t help the level of fury that was building in my stomach every second I was looking at his stupid faux-earnest face.

What did he want, a fucking gold star for being honest? When I first met him I’d thought that his overly frank and unapologetic manner was admirable, but I was starting to believe that maybe he was just a raging dickhead who couldn’t be bothered to spare a thought for how to conduct himself around people who weren’t sycophants.

I picked up the coffee, looked at the white carpet beneath our feet and poured the entire boiling cup over his lap and on to the spotless floor.

‘
What the fuck?
’ He flew up, knocking his chair backwards. ‘Fuck, Seven, what the
fuck
was that for? That fucking... Jesus,
ow
, fucking hell!’

I put the cup back down on the table and sneered at him swiping at his crotch as I skirted around him in the direction of the door.

‘Wow, I hope that doesn’t... Looks like it’s going to stain. Asshole.’

I lit a cigarette on my way out of the flat and I heard him call after me once. But it was just the once and he didn’t follow me.

An old man stared at me for my entire tube journey. Every time I caught his eyes he licked his lips and at one point I was certain he was masturbating across the near-empty carriage. Feeling unwashed and revolted I got off two stops early, even though it happened so often I should have been used to it.

All I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa and go to sleep, or maybe fantasize about punching Noel in the face for a bit. But it was as if I could sense an atmosphere before I reached my street and the front doors of my building.

At first I wasn’t sure if it was he, but a few more steps and Alexei’s face and build came into focus. I walked more slowly for a moment, eyeing him and his brother standing either side of the entrance like a pair of scrawny black crows.

I sighed. ‘Well, hi.’

‘Thank you for planting the recorder for us,’ Alexei said, with a nod. ‘You did well.’

After his attitude the night before I wasn’t prepared to take anything else he said at face value.

I shrugged. ‘Thank you.’

‘Come with us.’

Alexei indicated behind me at the road, where a car with blacked-out windows was waiting half on and half off the kerb. Every nerve in my body screamed against it. I would almost certainly die in that car if I allowed them to coerce me inside. But aside from running, I didn’t see that I had another choice.

‘How the hell do you know where I live?’ I asked, folding my arms and taking a step back.

‘We followed you.’ Isaak stared at me, still and matter-of-fact, as if he hadn’t spoken.

‘And why would you do that?’

‘What’s to stop you from backing out of our agreement if we don’t keep track of you?’

‘Keep
track
of me? I didn’t sign a contract here, I said I could maybe help you and—’

‘
Maybe
,
maybe
,
maybe
. You twist your words.’ He inclined his head. ‘Who exactly did you think you were talking to? A couple of amateur thieves?’

When Isaak did speak he was calm and to the point. Too calm. Horrifying.

I looked back and forth between the vehicle and Alexei’s ill-practised smile, and decided to do as they had asked. I walked to the car and got into the back. After a minute or so Isaak joined me. In the front, next to Alexei, there was a driver whose face I couldn’t see owing to a pair of large reflective sunglasses.

We started to drive.

I started to talk.

‘Anyway, I just had a look at Noel’s computer and there’s not much on there. I mean, nothing you guys would find inter­esting. But him and Ronnie were swapping emails about a guy called Issa Taggart. He might be one of their dealers. I don’t know, I don’t think they’d talk openly about drugs by email. Anyway, I think that’s the name you should go on. There wasn’t any mention of an address... No reason, I suppose.’

I clutched my bag against my lap, struggling to sound con­fident, trying to remember if there was anything in there I could use as a weapon.

‘Issa Taggart,’ Alexei parroted, exchanging a look in the overhead mirror with Isaak. ‘Issa Taggart?’

‘You recognize the name?’

‘Yes, we do. He is one of a list of names we have from... surveillance, but obviously we cannot search all of their houses. An address, we can find.’

‘How long have you been watching him?’

‘... A long time.’

I cleared my throat. ‘Why are we driving?’

‘To talk,‘ Alexei said, turned away from me.

‘Well, we’re finished, right?’ I spread my hands with an animated smile, daring to think for a second that it might be over now that I’d done what they wanted. I was finished now. I was ready to jump ship and never try and be smart about anything ever again. ‘Good luck with the whole... robbing thing. Don’t mention it was me. Um... can you stop the car?’

Isaak made a strange little twitch next to me.

‘No, we’ll need more,’ Alexei said. ‘We’ll need you to con­tinue finding us these locations when the drugs and money start moving. This is an ongoing project, not a fucking... what do you call it?’

‘Shoplift,’ Isaak offered.

‘Yes, shoplift. Did you not understand what I told you?’

‘I understood,’ I hissed back. ‘But that’s not what you asked. You just asked me to come up with something and I have and... you know, I don’t even care about the flight or the profits any more. I’m done, I’m out.’

‘No, you are not.’

‘Well,
sorry
,’ I said, raising my eyebrows. ‘I’m not your little dog with a bell on it waiting for commands like this guy over here.’

I gestured at Isaak, who smiled at his brother.

It was way too cramped in the back of this car. If I were killed no one would know. He could strangle me and even if someone looked straight at the windows they wouldn’t be able to see.

We drove in silence, turned a few corners.

Alexei’s voice came from the front.

‘Well, if the girl will not honour her agreement... Kill her then.’

I punched Isaak in the ear and he elbowed me in the chest, pinning me against the window. Air left my lungs. There was a knife in his hand with a long serrated edge.

Fuck, it hurt; it hurt so bad I thought my collarbone had cracked.

‘No!’ I screamed, scratching at the arm that was holding me down. ‘No wait! Wait! I can help you! I CAN HELP YOU!’

Alexei raised a hand without looking back.

No words, and Isaak let me go, taking his arm from across my chest. He sat back in his seat in the middle of the car, aloof and ready. The knife was lying across his knee. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

‘What have you got to say now?’ Alexei asked slowly.

‘I can give you something... better.’

‘Like what?’

I didn’t have a fucking clue. I’d only said it to stop Isaak from disembowelling me.

The car halted.

I was shaking.

The driver cut the engine and Alexei turned to look at me. ‘What? What have you got to say? You talk far too much. You are one of those sluts who do nothing but talk. But you have one last chance to open your mouth, which should be wrapped around my dick, and say something that might save your fucking life. Do you understand me now? You fucking Asian
cunt.
’

Breathing was difficult.

‘I’ll... I can get you everything.’ I was almost paralysed with fear, my throat clamming up. ‘Everything, the drugs, the money... Every stash, I can find out where it is. I... I know Noel, OK, he’d tell me anything,
anything
!’

It was becoming unbearably claustrophobic, as if I was already pleading for my life within my own coffin.

‘Anything,’ I repeated, meeting Isaak’s eyes too. I didn’t think he would be more reasonable, but he might be able to see the long-term benefits in what I was offering. ‘Think about it. Noel Braben... Ronnie O’Connell... You’ll get a free shot through me. You’ll get loads of free shots. No one would suspect me, least of all them! You’d barely have to be involved; they’d never be able to find you.’

Some thought for Noel’s welfare should have crossed my mind, but it didn’t. Either I died, or I did this. It was an obvious choice. I would have offered them anything in exchange for my life. Everything was expendable in comparison.