Girl on the Run (13 page)

“I had a big speech ready for my parents, too. I was going to start by telling them that I'd been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour. Then once they were crying and hugging me, I'd tell them that I was lying about dying, and not to worry, it turns out I'm only gay.”

I laughed a bit, but he ignored me.

“So, last year, a new guy transfers to my school. He was cute, smart, laughed at everything I said, and ended up being my lab partner. At first, I'm kind of hesitant around him because there really is no such thing as gaydar. You might think a guy likes you, but believe me, you can't ever make that mistake, especially in high school.”

He swallowed a few times, and I noticed his knuckles began to turn white. “Still, we hung out with the same crowd, he dated a few girls, and I secretly crushed on him. Pathetic, huh?” He didn't wait for me to answer and kept telling his story. “Then one day, we had to stay late to work on a project, it was just the two of us in the class. It happened so fast, I was reaching across the table for a pen and then he was kissing me.”

“Holy crap!” I squealed. “I guess his gaydar was working. What did you do?”

“I kissed him back, of course.”

I started to laugh and my eyes fell on his Saint Anthony medallion.

“I was stupid,” Lewis said. “What the hell was I thinking? We were at school, anyone could have walked in on us. But shit, Jesse, it felt so good. I don't just mean the kiss, I mean to finally be doing something that felt right—something that didn't feel like a lie.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, more to myself than him. Lewis didn't even know my dad had died, let alone how.

Lewis grew quiet again. “Then someone walked in on us. He broke off the kiss, looked back and forth between me and the teacher. I could tell he was scared, I thought he was going to cry. Then punched me in the face.”

My sharp intake of breath didn't even faze him. Lewis continued, still steady and monotoned. “The teacher had to pick him off. I was lucky, though; my broken glasses didn't get into my eyes, and a splint straightened out my nose,” he paused and cleared his throat. “No inoperable brain tumour though, to soften the blow for my parents. The teacher tried to keep things quiet, but it wasn't long before everyone knew. No matter how many layers of lies you tell, somehow, the truth always surfaces.”

My insides knotted together. Lewis finally turned to me. His face said it all. “He switched schools, I never saw him again. My parents wanted to press charges but I just wanted it to all disappear, like it'd never happened.”

“What did you do?” I stammered. “I mean, how could you stand everyone talking about you behind your back, and staring at you?”

“You just have to go through each sucky day, hoping the next one won't be so sucky.”

I chewed on that thought. “But your Saint Anthony medallion?” I said, hoping for a happy ending.

Lewis tucked the necklace back into his shirt. “It's from my grandmother,” he said. “I've had it since I was a kid.” He read my confused expression. “It's my new version of the inoperable brain tumour story.”

All the air left my lungs. I leaned in close to Lewis and rested my head on his shoulder. He put an arm around my waist and sighed. “Yeah,” he said. “Life sucks.”

“I'm sorry,” I said. “Thanks for being here.”

“You too.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Are you still upset?”

I gave him an obvious look. “Nothing that tops your story.”

“Come on,” his voice was lighter now, almost playful. “I dished my dirty secrets, now it's your turn.”

There was no way I was telling him
the
secret. He gave me an encouraging nudge. I figured I might as well try to entertain him. “The only guy who's shown any interest in me is underage,” I said.

“He's not underage, and he's not the only guy.”

“The eel doesn't count,” I said.

He wasn't letting me off that easy. “The first dance is later this week,” he smiled.

“Big whoop.”

“You should go.”

“Lacey said the boys think I'm…” I paused, searching for the best word. “Too macho and sporty.”

“Lacey,” he snorted. “She's all Dolce and no Gabbana. She's not the total package, like you.”

I scrunched up my face. “I'm a total package?”

“Yeah.” Lewis laughed at my expression. “Cute and funny, with lots of guts.”

“You mean gumption?”

“Definite gumption.” He patted my back. “Now get inside before some predator comes along.”

I sat on my bed looking at the duffel bag still jammed into the corner from the first day. After a few minutes, I jumped up and unzipped the side pocket.

My runners. My identity.

I slipped them on, and I had to stifle a laugh. The purple stripe on the side matched my soccer shirt. Lewis was right, it finally felt like I was doing something right.

That night, with a belly full of cookies, I slept with my sneakers on.

I
t's funny how you get used to something and only notice how much it impacted your life when it's gone. That knot in my stomach had loosened, letting me breathe. I changed into my running shorts and racing tank top.

During breakfast, I told Spencer to meet me at the dock for his first water safety lesson. I was finally making good on my threat from talent show night. I could almost see the gears turning inside his head, coming up with a plan to sabotage the day.

When I walked down the grassy slope, Lacey was standing on the dock.

“Have you seen Spencer?” I asked.

“Oh, right. He mentioned something about catching up on water safety lessons to one of my girls. I'll stick around and help you,” she said. Then she looked at my bracelet. “My girls are so sweet. Don't you wish you had them?”

I ignored her jab at insinuating I couldn't handle Spencer. Is that why she was here? Still, I decided to get some answers on another topic I was wondering about. “It must seem like a long summer,” I said, “without your boyfriend around.”

“I don't have a boyfriend.”

“Sorry.” I heard my voice catch. “I just assumed.”

“But that may change soon,” she grinned, looking out at the lake.

I followed her gaze and saw Kirk coming out of the water, carrying his mask and snorkel. I looked away; those damn swimming trunks were driving me crazy. It was time to get in the starting block.

I imagined myself staring down the lane toward the finish line, and I felt the familiar surge of adrenaline.
Look out,
I thought,
Old Jesse, the bulldog, is back.

“Here I am,” Spencer said, running towards us.

“Great!” I smiled. “I'm anxious to get started.”

Lacey wagged her finger in his face. “No fooling around today. I'm here to make sure you get in the water.”

“He's not getting in the water,” I said.

“What?” The look of shock on her face was priceless. “You said he's supposed to have a lesson with you this morning.”

“Yup, we're going running.” I caught Kirk's eye and gave him a wave.

Then I left the dock with a saucy sashay and took Spencer on his first run.

We had completed
a light jog through the hiking trail and were now sprint training in the soccer field. I had to admit, he was much better than I anticipated. “Have you ever done track at school?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “I'm mostly in detention.”

“Any other sports?”

“I started a bunch, but the practices were boring, and most of the other kids were dickheads.”

“Oh.” Not a very shocking response, considering I was, after all, speaking with the kid who had read my diary in front of the whole camp.

“Same time tomorrow,” I told him after that first run. He groaned, and I pulled out my ace. “Or Alicia can do water safety with you all day for the rest of the week?”

“I'll run.”

The next day we were up at five-thirty to have a quick snack that Lewis had prepared the night before, a hard-boiled egg and a banana. Then we were running on the trail five minutes later.

“You know you're running at the right speed for a long distance when you're able to talk without getting winded,” I said.

“So?”

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked.

“Going back to bed.”

“You'll feel awake in a few minutes.”

A few more steps in silence. “My feet hurt,” he whined.

“Maybe it's your shoes. Those are more like basketball sneakers.”

“Well, your pair aren't so great either,” he said, looking at my feet. “You must have a dog.”

I stared at the path straight ahead and took a few breaths. “They're my lucky pair,” I finally said.

The unlucky ones got thrown out.

“I can still run fast, though,” he bragged. “I bet I could fly with better sneakers.”

I smiled. “‘I decided I wasn't going to come down. I was going to fly. I was going to stay up in the air forever.'”

“Huh?”

“It's a Jesse Owens quote,” I said. “That's how it felt for him right after one of his record-breaking leaps in a long-jump competition. A few years ago Adidas made these special sneakers with a little golden wing on the side to mark his Olympic success.” I remembered begging my parents for a pair.

“Why aren't you wearing them now?”

“Way too expensive. Besides I wouldn't dare run in them, they'd be too special.”

“That's pointless. What would you do with them? Wear them to bed?”

“Um…that's stupid. Anyway, I bet if you had runners on, you'd almost beat me.”

My compliment surprised him into silence. Finally, he asked, “Which kind are the best?”

This question stimulated a five-minute monologue from me about sneakers. But he did ask.

“My dad can get me a pair,” he said, after my lecture on proper equipment.

“When will you be talking to him?”

Spencer stammered. “He—he just takes emails. I mean, that's the best way to reach him.”

I let this sink in. “Doesn't he come and visit? He owns the camp, right?”

He gave me a look. “This camp isn't the only thing he owns,” he said. “Email is the easiest. I can reach him today. Susan lets me use her computer.”

I decided to ignore his attitude and concentrate on the running. “Good,” I said. Then I sped up our pace so he'd be too out of breath to talk.

That afternoon was perfect. Not one cloud interrupted the blue sky. I sat on the dock, watching campers sunbath on the float. My guys were in the cabin, just having returned from the showers after a sweaty game of basketball. The girl talk started at once, and some things shouldn't be overheard by your nerdy, gay, female counsellor, so I escaped to the dock. Besides, the solace was a nice break; according to the clipboard we had an afternoon of macramé to look forward to.

I pictured Spencer somehow making a life-sized trap for me with his yarn.

“Jazzy!” Lacey sat beside me, smoothing out her lace—of course—cover-up.

I groaned inside.
There goes my half hour of peace.

“Are you excited?” she asked.

“Not particularly.” I loved being ambiguous with her. I knew what she was hinting at, but I had no inclination to play along. I continued to stare at the water, wishing I had gone swimming ten seconds earlier.

“So,” she began in her fake let's-be-best-friends voice, “are you going to the dance tomorrow night?”

“I forgot all about it,” I lied. However, running with Spencer made everything else fade in importance, including Kirk and Lacey. “I might show up for a few dances,” I said.

Lacey changed positions and fidgeted with her outfit. “My girls are so busy in the cabin, they're being very secretive.” She looked at me expectantly.

“Okay,” I said, finally giving in. “I'll bite. Why are they being secretive?”

“The cabin decorating contest, of course,” she said. “Is Cabin 4A participating?” she always accented the “A,” like it was a downgrade or something.

I tried to hold back a laugh. “You mean other than the usual dirty underwear and socks?”

She smiled, happy with my answer. “Girls are so much fun. Don't you wish you had them?”

This phrase was getting as redundant as Kirk's “Are you ready to quit?”

“Just Jesse.” Kirk walked up the dock toward us.

I was surprised he'd even seen me, considering I was being outshined by the lace production beside me.

“Are you taking Spencer for morning runs?” he asked.

His tone caught me off guard. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lacey grinning. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “He's only had two sessions, but he's really good,” I said, making it sound positive as possible. “Even more shocking, I can actually have a conversation without the threat of dog poop being thrown down my top.”

Lacey cringed. “I had no idea.”

“That's just a possible example,” I said.

Kirk towered over us. “I thought you were doing water safety with him?” he asked.

“Well, no,” I said. “I started this instead.”

“I told her, Kirk,” Lacey said.

He reached for my hand. “Let's go for a walk,” he said. He pulled me up and we made our way toward the grass.

“I know what you're going to say,” I began.

Kirk stared straight ahead. “All right, let's hear it.”

“That Spencer should be getting water safety instead of running, or at least I should have done water safety first. And if I'm running with Spencer, what are the other three kids doing?”

He continued to avoid eye contact.

“But it doesn't affect the other three's schedule,” I explained, “because we'll be running before anyone gets up. And I already spoke with Alicia about doing his lessons next week to catch up on the ones he's already missed.”

He stopped walking and turned to face me. His eyes trailed down to my naked throat. My heart slammed against my ribs.

“You didn't replace the necklace,” he said.

I held up my wrist, showing him my other jewellery. He reached out and ran his fingers over the letters and the rest of the world slipped away.

“Jazzy?” he read out loud.

I was dizzy from his touch. “It's from one of Lacey's cupettes.”

He hit me with those eyes. “Her what?”

“Cute pets,” I said. “They're such little cute pets…her girls.”

Kirk rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I had to ask,” he explained. “Susan heard you were letting him out of class.”

I opened my mouth, ready to complain. Of course it had been Lacey. But if I bitched I would sound just like her.

“Yeah, sure, I understand,” I said. “What are you going to tell Susan?”

“I'll tell her the truth,” he smiled. “That you're in control of everything, and there's nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks. I don't think I can visit that office again. She's so pathetic every time she looks at that empty glass case.” Oops.

“About that,” he said, looking at me sideways. “I thought you said you didn't run anymore.”

I swallowed. “Spencer is helping me get back in shape.”

“If he ever gets too tired…”

His suggestive tone made me smile. “What?”

Kirk put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “I have a pair of sneakers.”

“I'd be too fast.”

He gave me a grin. “Are you saying you're too hard to catch?” he asked.

I folded my arms in front of my chest. “More like a challenge.”

“But the reward is all the better because you have to work hard for it.”

My heart was thumping so hard I thought it would jump out of my mouth. I walked away, and made sure not to turn around. I preferred to think he was still staring as I turned the corner.