Authors: Caisey Quinn
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age, #Women's Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Contemporary Fiction, #New Adult & College, #Romance
He let his rigid muscles relax. She was leaving. He was going to have to let her go, whether he liked it or not.
“Goodnight, Kylie Lou. Sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight, Trace.”
He didn’t move a muscle until she was gone and had closed the door behind her.
I want that too sometimes.
Her words echoed in his head until the sun came up. One thing was for sure. If even a small part of her still wanted him—despite everything—if she still had any kind of feelings for him, then he had to try. And try he would.
L
ATER THAT
afternoon, he was exhausted as he helped unload equipment in Texas. But her words were still fresh in his mind.
I want that too sometimes.
Five words, simple words, but somehow they were so much more than that. They were honest words. Words that felt like a confession whispered in a church.
Words that gave him the courage he’d been searching for since he’d gotten out of rehab. It was a foundation, one he planned to build upon. She’d trusted him enough to confess the truth in the middle of the night. All the walls in the world couldn’t keep him out now.
Gretchen kept warning him that he couldn’t do this, that he shouldn’t be testing himself by being on tour with Kylie. Even Dr. Reynolds probably thought Kylie was a trigger, a temptation, the vice that would eventually break him.
But five words told him they were wrong.
She still loved him, still had that same need for him that he had for her.
“What’s with the goofy grin, man? You drunk?” Mike asked.
“Naw.” Trace’s eyes found Kylie standing with Hannah and Lulu. She offered him a smile that was worth more to him than any amount of money would ever be. He winked at her. “I’m throwing my hat in the ring.”
“Good for you, man.” Mike clapped him on the shoulder. “Good for you.”
“H
EY YOU,”
Steven said as he and Kylie’s drummer, Ty, headed toward her after the show. “Do you remember Ben, the guy who used to be the lead singer in my band?”
Kylie had to stop and think for a second. “Yeah, I think so. Him and his girlfriend kicked our asses at that game the night we met.”
Steven chuckled. “Yeah, that’s him. Well turns out he’s starting a band. He’s married now so it’s just a side thing, mostly small-time stuff, but he’s looking for a guitar player. And he knows your drummer and sent along a message for me.”
“Nice.” Kylie forced a smile. “Does that mean you’re ditching me?”
Steven put an arm around her shoulders. “No way. It’s just good news is all. It means after this tour ends, I’ll have a steady gig.”
“Well that is good news. We should go celebrate. Wanna grab dinner somewhere? We’ve got a while before we head to Atlanta.”
Steven glanced over at Ty. “Actually the guys are having a poker tournament and I told them I’d play. That cool?”
“Sure.” A night of kicking some ass at cards sounded kind of fun. Kylie hadn’t really ever connected with her band the way Trace had with his. She hoped maybe this would be an opportunity to do so. “Tell everyone I’m in too. I love poker.”
Ty cleared his throat and shot Steven a look before walking a few feet ahead of them to catch the rest of the crew.
“Um, actually, babe, word on the street is you’re a hustler. So I don’t think you’re invited.”
“Ah.” Kylie bit her lip in an attempt to contain the pout that threatened to expose how much that stung.
“You can come give me some pointers if you want,” Steven said, giving her a squeeze. “So the guys don’t take all my money.”
“Nah. You have fun. I’m gonna spend some time with Lu and Hannah. Do some girly stuff.”
“Sounds good, babe. I’m going to go find out everything I can about who bluffs and who—”
“Ty won’t make eye contact when he’s bluffing. And Lenny Vasquez, the roadie with the naked lady tattoo, he starts twitching in his seat when he has a good hand.”
Steven chuckled. “See? That’s why they don’t let you play.” With a quick kiss to the side of her head, Steven followed the rest of the band to the area where the buses were parked.
Kylie walked to her bus alone. She pulled out her phone and texted Lulu.
Where are you?
She waited a few minutes but no response came. So she texted Hannah.
You busy?
Her response was instant.
Just catching up on emails. Do you need something?
Kylie sighed. Yeah. She needed something. She just didn’t know exactly what it was.
Just checking in. Want to grab some food or something?
Again, Hannah’s response came so quickly Kylie wondered how she’d had time to even read the text much less type out a reply.
I already ate. Is everything okay? Want me to have someone go get you something to eat?
She typed out a quick no thanks text, telling her that she was good and to have a good night.
She’d only take a few steps onto the bus and back toward her room when she heard it. The moaning. The unmistakable sounds of people having sex. It sounded like extremely good sex from what she could hear.
She gasped out loud without meaning to. Her hand flew to her mouth to cover it.
Inexplicable tears filled her eyes instantly.
Trace was having sex with someone. On their bus. And not discreetly either.
“
Yes, harder.
Oh god don’t stop
,” she heard a muffled female’s voice cry out. A hard thumping sound came repeatedly from the back of the bus.
A sob choked its way out of her throat. She gripped the door to stay upright. She couldn’t fall apart. Not here.
But her world was spinning and it was too much pain to keep on the inside. She let the tears fall freely since there wasn’t anyone around to see.
She caught a glimpse of the bananas he’d gotten her and wanted to slap herself. She’d thought he still cared for her. All because of some stupid bananas. And because of the words he’d whispered in the darkness.
I swear to God, if I ever get to hold you again, I will never let go. Ever. I want to be inside you so damn bad. I fucking
need
to be inside you.
Obviously he’d found a replacement. And she’d lost an entire night’s sleep because she’d felt guilty that he’d seen Steven kissing her on the forehead.
He probably wouldn’t give two shits that she’d heard this. Clearly he wasn’t too concerned when it came to being faithful to Gretchen either. She wasn’t sure how that aspect of it made her feel. Or what she believed about him and Gretchen anymore.
She wiped her sleeve under her nose as those awful sounds chased her off the bus. She would never forget those sounds.
Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she scrolled through Chaz’s messages until she found the contact info for the guy who was responsible for keeping up with her daddy’s truck. His name was blurry through her tears but it was the last message Chaz had sent so she knew that had to be it.
She was just about to dial the number when she slipped on the top step and crashed into something hard.
Whoever it was grunted at the impact and wrapped strong arms around her so she didn’t fall on her face. Strong, familiar arms.
She looked up into hazel eyes watching her from under a dark ball cap.
“Trace?” Well now she was just plain confused.
“Hey there, Kylie Lou. What’s your hurry?”
The sight of him made her want to kiss his face. But she restrained herself. Instead, she wiped the remaining moisture from her cheeks and pulled herself together. Straightening out of his grip, she shook off her temporary insanity. “Sorry, I was just, um, going to check on my truck.”
His face scrunched under his cap. “Uh huh. And you were crying because…” he prompted.
“I wasn’t crying,” she answered quickly.
Trace climbed the bus steps, forcing her backwards. She didn’t hear the moaning and thumping anymore, so she figured whoever was getting it on must have been finished. She was kind of curious to see who it was.
“Yes you were. Is someone on the bus? Steven do something to you?” His tone went from concerned to lethal in a split second.
She waved her hand between them. “No. Not at all. He’s playing poker with the guys. I’m fine.”
“Fine minus the crying part?”
Before Kylie could deny her breakdown, the bathroom door opened and Lulu stepped out with Trace’s bass player close behind her.
Kylie couldn’t even begin to contain her shock. Or her laughter.
“What the hell, Mike?” Trace didn’t seem to find the situation nearly as amusing as she did.
“Um, hey, man. I was looking for you.”
“Oh yeah? In my bathroom with Kylie’s friend? How long did it take you to figure out I wasn’t in there?”
Kylie watched Lulu’s face turn ten shades of red. She couldn’t resist embarrassing her friend a little more. “Sounded like they were looking really hard. Like slamming cabinets and everything.”
“Cabinets, huh?” Trace glared at Mike, who shrugged apologetically and yet didn’t appear to be the slightest bit sorry.
“I was going to see if Kylie wanted to grab some food and then I ran into Mike and…” Lulu’s eyes met hers.
Kylie nodded. “Well I’m here now if you’re still hungry. Sounded like you worked up quite an appetite.”
“Yeah. Starved. Let’s go.” Lulu ducked past all of them and was off the bus before Kylie could blink.
Kylie grinned and shook her head. She felt fifty pounds lighter. “Well, boys, care to join us for dinner? Might be a tight squeeze in my truck but I’m guessing Lu could sit on Mike’s lap.”
“Sounds good to me.” Mike took a step toward her but Trace’s hand on his chest stopped him.
Trace glared at his friend. “Thanks, but I think we’re gonna stay here and have a chat. And Mike’s going to sanitize my bathroom. Now.”
Kylie nodded. “All right. We’ll bring something back in a doggie bag. See y’all later.” She practically skipped toward the exit. Until a hand on her upper arm and his voice in her ear stopped her in her tracks. She hadn’t even realized he’d been following behind her.
“You were crying,” he said. An uncontainable shiver danced up her spine. “Because you thought that was me in there. You really think I’d screw your best friend? Right next to where you sleep?” His face told her exactly how much that assumption had hurt him.
She glanced over his shoulder to where Mike was sitting on the couch and turning on the Xbox. Clearly he had no plans of cleaning Trace’s bathroom. Once she was sure he couldn’t hear them, she met Trace’s wounded gaze.
She sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to drop it. “It caught me off guard, is all. I had no idea who was in there. I didn’t even know it was Lu until they came out.” A faint smile hinted at his lips. “I know it wasn’t in the contract or anything, but I thought we had enough respect for each other not to do that on the bus.”
“So you were crying because you thought it was me in there with someone? Why do you care?”
Kylie’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want to know. I want to know what bothers you and what makes you cry. Just like I want to know what makes you happy and what makes you laugh.”
She huffed out a breath. “Why do
you
care?”
“Why do you think?”
She rolled her eyes. “Well this is getting us nowhere. It was fun playing twenty questions, but I’m starving and Lu’s waiting.”
She turned to leave but Trace surprised her by reaching out once more. Strong hands pulled her to him and she didn’t fight it. After Steven ditching her, her own band not wanting to hang out with her, and hearing what she thought had been Trace with another woman, she didn’t have the strength to fight it anymore.
Breathing him in, allowing herself to savor the warm woodsy scent she hoped would linger on her skin, she struggled to hold herself upright. She trembled in his arms as he lowered his mouth to her ear.
“For future reference, you don’t have to worry, darlin’. If I make anyone moan on this bus, it will be you.”
His lips barely grazed her earlobe and her knees went weak.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Just being honest. I’d hate for you to waste any more of those sweet tears of yours for no good reason.” He straightened up and winked at her.
For a moment, all she wanted was to kick Mike Brennen the hell off that bus so Trace could make good on his promise.
“Kylie, you coming?” Lulu’s voice startled her out of her trance.
“Not yet,” Trace answered just loud enough for her to hear. Her body responded to the heat in his words but she forced herself to ignore him.
“Yeah, on my way.”
She practically sprinted off the bus. She’d had to, or she wouldn’t have been able to control herself for one more second.
“S
O
…I think I maybe still have feelings, deep feelings, for Trace Corbin,” she told her friend as they got into her truck.
“No shit,” Lulu answered on a laugh. “Remember how you said it felt like everyone was in on this big joke except you?”
“Yeah,” Kylie said slowly as she cranked her truck.