Girl Alone: Joss came home from school to discover her father’s suicide. Angry and hurting, she’s out of control. (27 page)

‘As well as everything going on surrounding Eric’s abuse,’ Jill said, ‘the investigation into Zach is also continuing, so Joss has that to cope with too. Andrew and Joan are pushing to have Joss live with them, but they may not fully appreciate what is involved. It’s a year since they’ve seen Joss and a lot has happened in that time. Amelia thinks it might be best if Joss continues to live with you and visits her family at weekends. She’s going to discuss this with Joss when she sees her tomorrow, but could you mention it to her so she has time to think about it? She could stay over there on Saturday nights, beginning this weekend, if she wants to.’

‘Yes. I’ll tell her,’ I said.

The time Joss and I spent alone in the car together going to and from school provided a good opportunity for us to talk uninterrupted, if she wished to. When I collected her from school that afternoon, I first asked her if she’d had a good day, and then I told her what Jill had said.

‘So Amelia’s saying I can stay with Nana and Grandpa every weekend?’ Joss asked brightly.

‘If you’d like to, yes.’

‘Of course I would. Fantastic! I can be with my family. I mean, I like living with you, Cathy, but they are my family.’ Which was the response I would have expected.

Following Amelia’s visit on Friday afternoon, she left it to Andrew, Joan and I to arrange the exact time of the first weekend visit, so I telephoned Joss’s grandparents, who lived fifteen miles away. We agreed I would take Joss on Saturday morning to arrive at around ten o’clock, and they would return her at around six o’clock on Sunday. That evening I helped a very excited Joss pack an overnight bag, and then the following morning we were up and dressed before everyone else, and called goodbyes as we left.

It was the first time I’d met Andrew and Joan, and it was a year since they’d seen Joss. It was a very emotional reunion – Joan was close to tears, while Andrew kept clearing his throat to hide his emotion. They were a delightful couple in their late sixties who reminded me of my own dear parents in their kind and loving ways. Linda was sitting in the living room, but she was very quiet and Joan told me she had been prescribed antidepressants by the doctor. She seemed a broken woman, a shadow of her former self, and I felt very sorry for her. The few times she did speak, she kept thanking me for all I was doing for Joss, and then kept apologizing to Joss for being such a dreadful mother, which made us all tear up.

That weekend went well. The following weekend, Joss stayed with us on Saturday for Lucy’s family birthday celebration, and then I took her to her grandparents’ for the day on Sunday and Andrew brought her home. We then fell into a pattern where Joss stayed with her grandparents from Saturday morning until Sunday evening every weekend for the whole of October and November. When I took Joss I sometimes saw Linda and she seemed to improve a little, but not much. Without her parents’ support, I don’t think she would have coped at all. Andrew and Joan had quickly established a good routine in their house, so that Joan stayed with Linda while Andrew took Joss and Kevin to school, which meant two round trips of thirty miles each for him, but he said he enjoyed doing the school run again.

During this time the police investigations were continuing in the background, but we didn’t hear anything and I knew it would take time before they were complete and it could be decided if there was enough evidence to prosecute in court. At the end of November I was asked to make a statement in respect of Zach and Carl – not just about the night they had attacked Joss, but also the other times I’d seen them: in the car and at Chelsea’s flat. I was pleased I’d kept good log notes, for I doubted I would have remembered all the details the police wanted without them.

At the beginning of December, as everyone was gearing up for Christmas, Andrew began putting more pressure on the social services to have Joss live with them full-time. It had rather slipped into the background as the weekend visits were working out so well, but he now threatened the social services with court action if they didn’t make a decision. I knew he and Joan had already discussed it with Joss. I reassured them that I was happy with whatever was decided and fully appreciated why Joss would want to live with them – her family – although of course we’d all miss her. Two weeks before Christmas a meeting was held at the social services behind closed doors, without the grandparents, Linda or me being invited, which annoyed Andrew all the more, but the outcome was good. Joss was allowed to go and live with them.

‘Can’t she stay with us for Christmas?’ Paula asked when I told her, clearly disappointed.

‘Her family want her with them for Christmas,’ I said. ‘It’s a family time and it’s natural for Joss to want to be with them too.’

‘But I’ve already bought her a Christmas present,’ Paula said. ‘So have Adrian and Lucy.’

‘So have I. We’ll give them to her nana and grandpa to put under their Christmas tree for her.’

So in secret we wrapped and labelled our presents for Joss and put them in a Santa sack, which I hid in my wardrobe. The moving date was set for the following Saturday – the schools were breaking up on the Friday, and it was one week before Christmas. We all helped Joss pack and stack her bags and cases in the hall, ready for when Andrew and Kevin arrived to collect her at 11 a.m. I put the Santa sack in a black bin liner and told Joss not to peer in or feel it. I noticed some presents for us had appeared under the tree. Parting from Joss was bittersweet, for while it was right that she should live with her family, she’d become so much a part of ours that we were going to miss her very much. And her leaving just before Christmas made it all the more poignant, with the house gaily decorated and our hearts full of festive joy. I told my children to put on brave faces, as we didn’t want Joss to leave in tears. We all helped Andrew load the car, and then Adrian told Kevin he could choose two chocolate novelties from the Christmas tree – one for him and one for Joss. He’d been eyeing them since he’d first come in.

‘Thank you,’ he said, his little face a picture of delight. ‘We’re not allowed to have any chocolates off our tree until Christmas Day.’

‘Neither are we,’ Adrian said. ‘So don’t tell Father Christmas.’

And I could see from Kevin’s expression that he wasn’t sure if Adrian was joking or really did still believe in Father Christmas at his age.

Parting was difficult for Joss too. She was close to tears as she finally climbed into the passenger seat of her grandpa’s car and we waved them off. Once their car had turned the corner and was out of sight, we returned indoors, our downcast faces at odds with the cheery decorations hanging all around us. I suggested we went to the ice rink later, which was now decked out like a winter wonderland for Christmas, and everyone agreed. So while they got ready, I took the opportunity to strip Joss’s bed and dust and vacuum her room. I wasn’t expecting another child, but family crises can happen at any time, resulting in a child or children coming into care. For while many families are involved in the merry build-up to Christmas, some are not, and I wouldn’t be the first foster carer to receive a battered child on Christmas Eve – and believe me, it doesn’t get more heartbreaking than that.

Joss, Kevin and Linda lived with Andrew and Joan for most of the following year, and during that time Joss often popped in to see us with Andrew and Kevin on their way home from school. While the young people talked, and played with Kevin, I made Andrew a cup of tea and we chatted, catching up on their news. Eric left the matrimonial home after four months and went into lodgings, as the house was owned by Linda. Once he’d gone, Andrew changed the locks, removed the rubbish Eric had left behind and gave the place a good clean and a coat of paint, ready for when Linda felt well enough to return.

Towards the end of that year both Eric’s and Zach’s cases went to court, Eric’s first. He denied abusing Joss and Kevin but was found guilty on both counts. He received a prison sentence, and when he’s released he’ll be placed on the sex offenders register, so the police will know where he is living and be able to monitor him. Andrew said that in addition to Joss’s and Kevin’s statements, DNA evidence had been found at their home, which helped secure a conviction. He couldn’t bring himself to tell me what that evidence was, but I later found out from Jill. She said that dried stains on Joss’s underwear, taken by the police from a drawer in her bedroom when they’d searched the house, had contained traces of Eric’s semen from when he’d masturbated over her pants. Little wonder Andrew couldn’t tell me! I also learnt from Jill what had finally made Linda believe that Eric was abusing her children; it was also part of the evidence against him. In his interview with the police Kevin had said that when his mother was out at the charity meetings Eric got into the bath with him and played with his willy in front of him. Kevin was able to describe an old appendectomy scar Eric had just above his groin, which helped convince the judge that Kevin was telling the truth.

The case against Zach (and Carl) was always going to be difficult to prove, as it was their word against Joss’s. Zach continued to deny he’d attacked Joss, claiming it was consensual sex – that she’d wanted to – and he hadn’t known Joss was only thirteen. The police had done a thorough job of investigating, though, and were able to show that Zach (and Carl) were part of a group at Dave’s flat who had groomed vulnerable young girls, plying them with drink and drugs and then abusing them. The court heard that there had been other complaints against persons at the flat, and a mother had reported that her teenage daughter had been given drink and drugs by Dave and was then assaulted by someone in the flat. A neighbour had also complained on a number of occasions about the comings and goings at the flat. There wasn’t enough evidence to convict Carl, but Zach was found guilty of attempted rape and given a custodial sentence. When released, he too will be placed on the sex offenders register. Dave faced various charges, including supplying class A drugs. Chelsea was placed in a care home for teenagers but kept running away and returning to the flat.

I’m pleased to say that the police didn’t interview Joss over the incident of the burning car – Andrew and I both felt this was the right decision. That behaviour had been part of a life Joss had led on the streets, when she’d been angry and confused from being abused but not believed. After the court cases, Joss, Kevin and Linda entered counselling, sometimes one to one with the counsellor and at other times together for family therapy. Andrew said the counselling wasn’t only to help them come to terms with the abuse Joss and Kevin had suffered, but also to address the unresolved issues from their father’s suicide – especially for Joss, who’d been with her mother when they found him.

Despite all that was going on that year, Joss continued to do well at school and made some new friends. She also took up ice skating again, going in the evening after school. I had to smile as I thought back to when I’d first suggested ice skating as an activity to keep her off the streets and out of trouble, and she’d begrudgingly agreed to go and then truanted. Now here she was, absolutely loving it and entering ice-skating competitions. Fantastic!

Linda, Joss and Kevin didn’t return to live at their house, even though after a year Linda was considered well enough to parent her children on her own. I could understand why they didn’t return. What had once been a happy family home had been scarred by the tragic and horrendous events that had taken place there; first with the father’s suicide, and then Eric’s abuse. Every room would have been haunted by ghostly reminders of what happened there. So once the social services felt Linda was able to look after her children, she sold the house and bought a bungalow on the same street as her parents. A fresh start, a new beginning, but wonderfully close to the loving grandparents who had done so much for their daughter and grandchildren, and without whom I’m sure the family would not have survived and been reunited.

Tragedy can strike any family, and Joss’s family had more than their fair share of sorrow, but thanks to Andrew and Joan’s unfailing support, they were able to come through it and look forward to a brighter future. I know from the many emails I receive that grandparents of children taken into care often have a very hard time trying to persuade the social services that they can look after the children when their parents cannot. The social services can be dismissive of grandparents, or get bogged down when assessing them with issues such as their age, the size of their home and other practicalities, which are factors, but not as important as what good grandparents have to offer: unconditional love, a wealth of experience, stability, endless patience and a life-long commitment to the family. At present, grandparents don’t even have the automatic right to see their grandchildren if they are taken into care. This needs to change.

For the latest updates on Joss and the children in my other fostering memoirs, please visit
www.cathyglass.co.uk
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Cathy blames herself for not spotting the signs that Joss was being abused by her stepfather earlier. Were there indicators, and if so should she have reasonably seen them?

Joss is very angry, as many abused children are. Why do you think this is?

How culpable is Linda? Should she have spotted the signs that Eric was abusing her children?

Why do you think Joss took comfort in the company of Zach, Dave and Chelsea?

Cathy is critical of the contract of behaviour. What do you think would be a reasonable contract of behaviour for Joss?

Cathy is concerned about how Joss’s challenging behaviour might affect her other children. Is she right to be so? What is the likely impact on them, and what could Cathy do to minimize it?

Was Cathy right to go to Dave’s flat and bring Joss home when she wanted to stay the night? What were Cathy’s reasons for doing so?

Grandparents are often overlooked as full-time carers if the children can’t live with their own parents. What are the positives and negatives of grandparents bringing up their grandchildren?

Did you feel that justice had been served to the perpetrators of Joss’s abuse at the end of the book? Do you think our current justice system adequately supports victims of abuse?

Do you think Joss’s family will be able to successfully rebuild their lives after everything they have been through? What could they do to move forward after experiencing so much trauma and distrust?