Girl, 16: Five-Star Fiasco (32 page)
Read Girl, 16: Five-Star Fiasco Online
Authors: Sue Limb
By Sue Limb (in reading order):
Flirting for England
Charming But Insane
Absolute Torture!
Pants on Fire
Five Star Fiasco
Chocolate SOS
Party Disaster!
Girls, Guilty But Somehow Glorious
Girls, Muddy, Moody Yet Magnificent
Girls to Total Goddesses
Yo
u
’re so brilliant reading this and i
t
’s really cheered me up, as Fred is being a bit of a toad at the moment – not that h
e
’s covered with warts and is shooting poison out of his neck (but give him time). Sometimes I feel that yo
u
’re my only friend, especially when Flor
a
’s at orchestra practice. So please, please, do me a ginormous favour and visit my fabulous, dazzling, low
-
calorie, high
-
energy website –www.JessJordan.co.uk!!!!
I
’m going to be blogging away (I wrote glogging by accident at first and I kind of like it, so I might be glogging too) and I can promise you loads of laughs, polls, quizzes, interactive stuff, downloadable goodies, plus sensational secrets that Fred, Flora, Ben, Mackenzie and Jodie have begged me to never reveal! Do
n
’t tell them I sent you – and promise yo
u
’ll be there!
Love,
Jess
Jess Jordan’s Top Tips for How to Deal with Your Mum’s Online Dating
Hack into your mu
m
’s profile page on the dating website and substitute her semi
-
glam photo for a pic of a charming hippo. (Unless she already looks like one.)
Intercept an affectionate email from one of your mu
m
’s potential beaux and inform him that she has become a nun
/
married an old rock star
/
grown a beard.
If they arrange a date, dress in an ape suit and follow them at a discreet distance, howling at intervals and hurling custard. H
e
’ll think yo
u
’re her jealous ex.
If all else fails, insist on a six
-
figure prenuptial pocket money deal.
For more top tips from Jess, visit
www.JessJordan.co.uk
Bloomsbury Publishing, London, Berlin, New York and Sydney
First published in Great Britain in 2010 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
50 Bedford Square, London, WC1B 3DP
This electronic edition published in 2012 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Text copyright © Sue Limb 2010
Revised text copyright © Sue Limb 2012
The moral right of the author has been asserted
All rights reserved
You may not copy, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise
make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means
(including without limitation electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying,
printing, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the
publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication
may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 9781408812761
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