Giovanni (31 page)

“Well, we’re certainly going to find out.”

• • •

Gio knew there was something wrong with his wife. There had to be. The drive home from the dinner and party at his parents’ home had been filled with Kim’s silence. Or maybe she hadn’t been so much silent as she was pensive staring out the window and barely noticing when Gio asked her a question.

That wasn’t like Kim at all.

Back at their condo, she still didn’t seem to have much to say. Instead, Kim went through the usual motions she always did before going to bed, but this time was different. Because she didn’t go to bed.

“Don’t you have that early seven-thirty class tomorrow morning to go to?” Gio asked, watching Kim rinse out cups before placing them into the dishwasher.

“
Hmm
?”

“Tomorrow, you have an early class.”

“It’s a lecture.”

That did nothing to answer his question. Gio’s irritation grew. “Are you not going?”

“Why wouldn’t I go?” Kim asked.

“Because it’s after midnight and you’re like a hellcat in the morning when you haven’t slept more than seven hours.”

And not in her usual good hellcat kind of way, either.

Kim sighed, continuing to clean. “I’m not tired right now. Feel free to go to bed, Gio. You don’t have to wait for me.”

Yeah, something was definitely wrong. Gio could always get a rise out of his wife with a few choice words. He learned he could calm her down just as fast with a couple more, but that wasn’t the point. Kim barely reacted at all to his hellcat comment.

“What did I do?” Gio asked.

Kim tossed him a confused look. “What are you going on about?”

“Me, Kim. Clearly I did something and it’s bothering you. What was it?”

“Nothing, Gio. Go to bed and let me finish here.”

“
Tesoro
—”

“Would you just go, Giovanni?” Kim interrupted, a sharpness taking over her usually cheery tone.

Okay then
.

More confused and annoyed than ever, Gio left his wife in the kitchen to simmer in whatever hell she had going on inside her head. It wasn’t the first time an argument between them had been first fought without words before it turned verbal, but it still bothered the shit out of him like nothing else.

It just didn’t make sense. The day had been fine, for the most part. There was nothing that happened over the last week to get Kim pissy at him.

They had a decent line of communication. It was one of the things about their fast, crazy relationship that surprised Gio the most. Kim didn’t mind talking and he didn’t mind listening. Even if he did mind, she wouldn’t have that. Kim could force Gio to hear her at the worst times, but he
would
hear her. That was most important.

Why wasn’t she hearing him?

Passing back by the kitchen entrance with his laptop in hand, Gio glanced inside. Kim was still there like he’d left her. Only now, she was looking out the small window with both hands on the counter top and her stare distant like she wasn’t actually there at all.

Gio’s walk came to an abrupt stop.

Seriously, what in the fuck had he done?

Sure, his worries at the church seemed to irk her, but they’d ended that conversation. Hadn’t they? Still, what else was there but the baby thing?

Nothing.

Turning fast on his heel, Gio set the laptop down on a small hallway table and make his way towards the bathroom. Maybe his mind was seeing things that weren’t there, but too many factors of the day were piling up on top of one another and his suspicions weren’t going away. Kim seemed to be all over the place—her emotions and behavior. It just wasn’t his wife to be like this.

Something was obviously different.

In the bathroom, Gio kicked open the cupboard beneath the sink. He rifled around under there, looking for some kind of inclination his thoughts might be correct. He found nothing. The tiny garbage can was empty, too. Gio didn’t have to go back to the kitchen to know that one was empty as well. After all, he was the one who threw it down the garbage chute before they left for the church.

“Fuck,” Gio muttered, kicking the cupboard closed and standing.

“What in the hell are you doing?” Kim’s angry question had Gio turning fast to face her. “Now I have to fix all that shit. You don’t even keep anything in there now. What were you looking for?”

Gio immediately blurted out, “Are you pregnant?”

Kim jerked back like he’d struck out at her with his hand. “Excuse me?”

“Are you pregnant, Kim?”

Gio didn’t understand what was so difficult to comprehend about that question. It was pretty fucking straightforward and it only required a yes or no answer.

“Was that what you were searching for, a pregnancy test or something?”

Gio shrugged. “I imagine that nonsense comes in packs like everything else you buy.”

“They can,” Kim agreed, cocking her brow. “But they’re not like fucking candy or tampons, Gio. They’re pretty much used up the moment you open the package or very soon after.”

“And how do you know that,
dolce ragazza
?”

“Calling me your pet names isn’t going to get you off the hook right now.” Kim’s lips pressed tightly together, her jaw clenching. “Do you really think I would have hidden something like that from you?”

“I don’t know,” Gio muttered, waving at her like that explained it all. “Does my wife think I would be so goddamn inept at fathering and parenting a child that she felt she couldn’t tell me? Is that an unfair assumption?”

“I don’t think you’re inept.”

“Oh? Because ever since this morning with Johnathan, you seem to act like I’m a disease.”

“I have not, Gio. That’s an awful thing for you to say. No, I don’t think you’re incompetent. I just think you panicked. Did it suck that you couldn’t even answer me when I asked if you wanted children? Yes, that hurt, Gio. It fucking hurts. Do you realize having children is the one thing we haven’t ever discussed? It’s probably one of the biggest things, and we don’t even talk about it!”

“So talk!”

“No, I think you made your feelings clear,” Kim replied, scoffing.

“See, it did bother you more than you’re letting on. It’s not just what we haven’t talked about, it’s the fact you think I wouldn’t want to at all, or worse, that I couldn’t manage to be a good father.”

“I didn’t say that, Gio!”

“Babies scare me, Kim. They frighten the living fucking hell out of me. I’ve only ever been responsible for me, that’s it. Babies, they need everything from you. There’s not a single second in the day when they don’t depend on a person to keep them alive. I’m allowed to be a little nervous of being that one person.”

“You wouldn’t be the only one,” Kim said. “I’m here, too.”

“You know what I mean.” Gio rubbed at his forehead, frustrated. “And you didn’t give me the chance to answer you at all this morning. We were interrupted. That’s not the kind of conversation I want my brother and father involved in.”

Kim crossed her arms, looking down at the floor. “Do you have an answer?”

Gio didn’t even have to think about it, honestly. He knew what he wanted. All he needed to remember was that he really enjoyed seeing a baby in his wife’s arms. It seemed natural and beautiful. His fears of being inadequate or ill-equipped were real, but like everything else in life, it was something that came in time. Kim would be the best mother and her love was limitless inside her soul. Someone else—something that was a part of both of them—deserved to feel that love, too.

“Yes, I want to have children someday.”

“Someday,” Kim echoed. “What does that mean?”

“It means someday, I want a child … or two. With you.”

“That’s specific.
Not
.”

“I don’t have a better answer right now, Kim. Do you have one?”

Kim frowned. “What, like when I’d want to have children?”

“Exactly.”

“I’m only twenty-two.”

“Your point?” he asked, shrugging. “That tells me nothing.”

“I still have another year and a half in college,” Kim said, staring at him like he’d grown a second head.

“Again—”

“I don’t want kids right now, Gio!”

“Got it,” Gio muttered, surprised at her outburst. “I can safely assume that answers my earlier question, also.”

Kim’s arms fell back to her sides, her blue eyes losing all the anger from before. “I’m not pregnant. You would be the first to know the very next second after I knew. Okay?”

While relief flowed through his system at her admittance, there was sadness following right behind. Gio hadn’t expected to feel relieved and blue that his suspicions weren’t true. How was that even possible?

“You can’t blame me for wondering, Kim.” Gio leaned to the sink, chewing over his next words carefully. There was no need to piss her off any more than he already had. “You were all over the place today.”

“Me?”

“Kind of. You just weren’t yourself. It threw me off.”

Kim blew out a breath of shaky air. “I’m not allowed to have an off day without you thinking I’m knocked up?”

Yeah, maybe Gio could see how ridiculous it sounded when she put it that way.

“It was more than that, though. You were happy all week, just like you always are. Then, at the church, you were disappointed when I didn’t react or give you the answer you wanted. You can deny it if you want, but it was written all over your face. Maybe I started looking for things that didn’t exist.”

“Is that why you disappeared after the dinner?” Kim asked.

“Partly. Mostly I wanted time to think and you were enjoying the baby and people. It wouldn’t have been fair for me to drag you away.” Gio grinned, feeling completely ridiculous for ransacking the bathroom. “So, me looking for something was pointless because it wasn’t even here to begin with, huh?”

Kim’s shoulders lifted in explanation, but her sudden desire to pick at her fingernails caught Gio’s attention. That was an action he learned long ago Kim used when she was nervous about something.

“What is it,
Tesoro
?”

“Not completely pointless,” Kim whispered.

Gio’s racing mind fell silent. “Should I have found something?”

“Not after last month.” Kim offered a smile that didn’t quite shine like it usually did. “I switched from the shot to the pill a couple of months ago, but it screwed me up. You don’t ask about that kind of thing, so I don’t go out of my way to talk to you about it. We’re not always safe, you know?”

Gio nodded once. “Sure.”

“When I was late by a few days, I just thought I’d take a home test to be sure that wasn’t the problem. Because you’re right, I have been all over the place, but you only really noticed it today. Obviously the test came out negative, so I threw the stuff away and moved on.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kim laughed bleakly. “I would have if something came up, but at the time, I was a little too busy being scared to death.”

“That I would freak out,” Gio assumed, bothered that she felt that way at all.

“No,” Kim said softly. “Scared to death that I
was
pregnant. I told you, I’m only twenty-two. I want to finish my education. I’ve worked really hard to be where I am and get where I want to be. I still have a ways to go. While it’s a nice feeling to hold a baby, it’s not the right time for us. Or at least me.”

“Then it’s not the right time for me, either,” Gio replied simply. “We’re young, Kim. We’ve got lots of time.”

“Good to know.”

“We’re too much alike for our own good. Here I thought baby fever swept you under the current, when really, you were basically in the same boat I was. I
am
an idiot.”

Kim smiled, winking. “Yeah, but you’re my idiot, so …”

“You will tell me when you’re ready, won’t you?” Gio asked.

“First to know, Gio. Promise.”

“And hey, maybe being Godparents for Johnathan won’t be as bad as I first thought.”

Kim gave him an inquisitive look. “Why’s that?”

“Because we’ll be spending a lot of time with him. At least if I fuck up on Lucian’s kid, I’ll know what not to do with my own.”

“Gio!”

“What? It’s true. Live and learn.”

Kim shook her head, holding back laughter. “God, that’s so awful.”

“Say it like I see it.” Gio made a dismissive sound. “Better I learn now than with ours, anyway.”

Kim didn’t even try to deny his words. That, or she didn’t know what to say at all.

“Plus, there’s something else good about the wait when it comes to you …” Gio trailed off with a low hum.

“Oh?”

“Practice,” Gio said.

Kim laughed, beginning to move backward when Gio stalked towards her. “Practice?”