Gilbert (5 page)

Jihu blinked back more tears and Gilbert came into focus. His first thought was, the man was huge. Jihu was only five-five, and Gilbert had to be close to a foot taller, he couldn’t tell for sure. And muscle? Gilbert had his fair share and more, while Jihu was barely more than skin and bones. Jihu found himself held still by Gilbert’s stunning brown-flecked green eyes. Thickly lashed and wide, they seemed to allow Jihu to peer right into Gilbert’s soul.

What he imagined he saw there was a tenderness, aneed, and Jihu wished he trusted himself, and Gilbert, enough to believe it. If only he had his senses back, sharp as they had been, he might be able to trust what he felt.

“Look at this little guy, he’s sucking away at his bottle.” Gilbert smiled tenderly at the baby and brushed at his thick black hair. “Yeah, you’re a handsome dude, aren’t ya? Good thing my older sister has kids or else I wouldn’t know how to hold you, even. Be scared to, because you, little dude, are just that—little.”

Jihu was as entranced by Gilbert and his voice as the baby seemed to be. He leaned closer and stopped simpering, which was what he felt like he was doing. Acting the part of the small, helpless damsel in distress. Hell’s bells, even a damsel in distress probably manned up better than he did. Jihu sat up and used the tail of his shirt to wipe his face. It wasn’t as gross as not wiping his face off.

“Who?” Gilbert growled, sending a series of icy shivers down Jihu’s spine. “Who hurt you? I thought you were just blotchy from crying, but those are bruises.”

Jihu knew he must be coming off like a total idiot, gaping and snivelling and…and cowering. He stiffened from head to toe—well, his dick was already stiff, but that part of him was acting bizarre anyway—and held his head up high, almost daring Gilbert to call him out on being a wuss.

But Gilbert only used the hand he’d been stroking the baby’s hair with to reach over and touch a spot on Jihu’s cheek that made him hiss. “Yeah, tell me who hurt you and I’ll rip their guts out for you.”

Jihu’s temper spiked and he gave the most evil look he could manage. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” Even if he obviously couldn’t fight them very well himself.

Gilbert nodded and rubbed his thumb over that spot again. “Okay, I shouldn’t assume just because you look like the rough end of a bad night that you weren’t the winner.” He turned his attention back to the bundle in his arm, holding the bottle again instead of catching the end of it under his chin. Seeing such a big man hold such a tiny being so gently caused a fluttering warmth, like sun-touched butterflies, to alight in Jihu’s stomach.

“I wasn’t the winner,” he admitted, before he could stop himself. “Except for him. I got him.” Jihu slowly reached out to touch his son’s brow, furrowed as he sucked deeply on the nipple. “He’s all that matters. How did you get him to calm down?” Jihu was finding it hard to be scared of Gilbert even those his brain told him he should be. His body craved another touch, a deeper touch, and his languid leopard was more alert than it’d been in days, or even weeks.

Gilbert smiled and Jihu experienced another wave of dizziness. Perhaps Gilbert really was his mate. No one had ever affected him so. “Man, I don’t know. I’ve held my nieces and nephew a few times when they were babies, but really, I just kind of did what felt right. What’s this little guy’s name? He’s your brother?”

That was twice Gilbert had referenced the baby being his brother. Jihu swallowed and sputtered, his throat gone dry in a heartbeat. He leant back and struggled for an answer, not sure why he was so loath to admit the truth. And that realisation angered him, not at Gilbert but at himself. What the hell was wrong with him? He wasn’t ashamed of his son. He was ashamed of having been forced to have sex, though. That was something he was going to have to deal with.

Gilbert waited patiently, no judgement in his pretty eyes. He seemed content to sit and hold the babe and watch Jihu.

Which made it somehow easier and less painful for him to admit what he’d been forced to do. “Has Bae ever mentioned the practice of forced breedings?” Gilbert’s eyes widened and he paled, his golden brown skin turning an off shade of grey. “I don’t know what he’s mentioned, you see. I’ve never met Bae, but he’s my half-brother. And the baby…” Jihu warmed with pride as he looked at that angelic chubby face. “I am Jihu Warren, and he’s my son.”

Chapter Four

Gilbert tried to keep from letting his shock show in his expression. “Your son? Does he have a name?” he asked a little flippantly, trying to cover his unease. Not because Jihu had a son, but because of
how
the baby had likely been conceived. His attempt at being lighthearted failed miserably when Jihu answered him.

“No. I haven’t had the chance to pick a name, and I don’t know what he was being called in the nursery. I don’t care what he was called.
I
will choose his name, not the damned lepe leader.”

Jihu’s scowl was deeply etched into his fine-boned features. Gilbert thought he’d never seen a lovelier man before, and he burned with need for his mate. But knowing what he did about the forced breeding programme, knowing Amur shifters were required to have sex and reproduce with whoever their lepe leader ordered them to, Gilbert was afraid to act on the desire that was an integral part of his shifter nature. His leopard wanted Jihu, and didn’t have the patience Gilbert feared he’d need.

“He’s my son, not the lepe’s.” Jihu had tears dried on his cheeks, his eyes were red-rimmed, the irises so dark a brown as to nearly be black, and he had choppily layered black hair sticking out all over the place. His full lips were thinned and his ebony brows almost meeting above his small nose. He might have only been about five and a half feet tall, but he was the fiercest thing Gilbert had seen in possibly ever.

“They won’t take him from me. I won’t let them do—” Jihu faltered and looked away. He rubbed at one eye and gulped. Gilbert’s heart broke for him. “He won’t be raised among them. If I have my way, he’ll never know about where he came from. Not any more than he needs to know.”

“Hmm.” Gilbert had so many questions and none of them were ones he could ask. He thought, though, that Jihu would be better off telling his child the truth, when he was old enough for it. Honesty was always best, but he had time to work on that and Jihu obviously needed to heal, likely in more than just the physical sense. “Is that how you got hurt?”

Jihu cocked his head, reminding Gilbert of a curious kitten watching the movements of a soon-to-be toy. “I was being held prisoner for the next breeding. I refused after the first one, which resulted in my son. His mother was willing even though I was not. Touching her was…difficult. I’d decided they could just kill me before I did it again. But that wasn’t the threat, was it?” he asked, more to himself than to Gilbert.

Gilbert’s temper raged hot at the knowledge of what Jihu meant. He’d been threatened with the life of his son if he didn’t cooperate. “You got away before then,” he stated, praying to whatever god might exist that it was so.

Jihu nodded sharply. “Yes. I was one of the results of Chul’s forced breedings, not a member of his chosen family. He didn’t raise me or anything, and I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow I think he found out I was being kept locked up. Chained,” he said as he rubbed his wrists. “There was a fight between him and Chung-Hee, and guards. I’m not certain what started it, but I really suspect it was because Chul discovered I was being held and forced to—but maybe he’d have confronted Chung-Hee over anyone being forced, I don’t know. I shouldn’t assume he did it because he knew I’m his son, and…” Jihu bit his bottom lip and Gilbert’s cock twitched. “And Chul was shot. I don’t know if he is alive. Someone should tell Bae.”

“Shit.” Gilbert squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. Yeah, Bae really did need to know that.

“Yes, exactly,” Jihu continued. “I got out, I ran, naked and uncaring. I wanted my son, and I got him. One of Chul’s other sons—I guess another of my half-brothers—Ye-sun, he helped me, I think.”

Gilbert peeked out of one eye at Jihu. “You think? How do you ’think’ he helped you?” He listened as Jihu explained the rest, from the confusing directions until he figured out the GPS and the fear he was being pursued. He’d been scared to come to Bae’s home, scared and hurting and Gilbert couldn’t stand it. He carefully laid the precious bundle down in the centre of the bed then scooched close to Jihu. “Can I hold you? Nothing more, I promise.”

Jihu looked up at him, searching Gilbert’s eyes. “You can trust your leopard, can’t you?” he asked Jihu, who only shook his head. “Why not? You know about mates, right? I mean, I just found out not that long ago, but I’m still certain you’re mine and vice versa, Jihu. Jihu…” Gilbert sighed the name like a breathy teenager naming their crush. “I really like your name.”

“I hate it. I hate it and hate my past and heritage and everything except him!” Jihu gestured to the sleeping child. “I won’t give him a name that has anything to do with it. Nothing. He’ll be Bob or Will or something.” Jihu tipped his head down and went on. “And yes, I’d heard of mates. Hadn’t seen many of them, but I’m seriously beginning to think our leaders don’t want us to find them. I know for sure they don’t if our mate is of another shifter breed. How could they, when their whole focus is to keep spitting out Amur shifters?”

Gilbert couldn’t very well argue with that. And Jihu, almost contrary to his words, or perhaps the anger rolling off him, moved a little closer to Gilbert. “I haven’t, ever,” he said nervously, eyes still on Gilbert. Gilbert made a reassuring noise and waited.

“No one’s touched me.” Jihu seemed to search for words, his gaze darting across Gilbert’s face. “No one’s touched me kindly in longer than I can remember.”

“That is a shame, and makes me want to hold you and never let go.” It made Gilbert want to cry, but he didn’t want Jihu to think he was mocking him by saying so. “But, if you tell me to, I’ll let you go the second you do so.” He waited, thinking a lot hinged on Jihu’s action. When he glanced down and timidly moved closer, then closer still, Gilbert wanted to whoop.

Instead he gently put an arm around Jihu’s thin shoulders and pulled him closer, slowly, so he could protest if he felt overwhelmed. Jihu didn’t, instead tucking himself to Gilbert’s side and inhaling deeply before resting his head on Gilbert’s chest.

“This is really…nice,” Jihu whispered. He rubbed his pointed chin against Gilbert’s nipple, sending a spark right through him. “It isn’t like what I had to do before.” Jihu tentatively wrapped his arms around Gilbert’s waist then turned those dark eyes up to him. “I ache, inside. My leopard is restless, he wants you, but I don’t know…”

“A kiss,” Gilbert offered, dangerously close to coming in his jeans from that innocent, seductive honesty. Gilbert checked and made sure the baby was sleeping. At this age he wouldn’t be able to roll over yet. “Just a kiss,” he repeated when he turned his attention back to Jihu.

He wanted to close his eyes, hide the vulnerability he felt right then. Everyone he knew who had found their mate described instant chemistry, undeniable lust. Gilbert was experiencing both of those, but he couldn’t just throw Jihu down and have his way with him. His snow leopard was yowling inside him, ratcheting up Gilbert’s want, but he, Gilbert the man, not Gilbert the cat, was in control.

When Jihu frowned, Gilbert figured he wouldn’t even be getting a kiss, but to his surprise, his mate proved to be nimble, fast, and daring. One second Gilbert was staring into the endless depths of Jihu’s eyes, and the next he was all but tackled, just managing to keep himself upright as Jihu surged up and crushed his mouth to Gilbert’s.

It wasn’t the smoothest kiss, the neatest, but it was the hottest one he’d experienced by far. Jihu’s hunger poured into Gilbert with the thrust of Jihu’s tongue. When that lean, strong body was pressed closer to him, Jihu’s scent filled him and the hard stab of his cock excited Gilbert almost to the point of coming. He kept one hand planted slightly behind him, keeping them both upright, but with the other he traced the knobby links of Jihu’s spine as he absorbed the flavour of his mate.

Jihu was too thin, and who knew how many injuries he had, but he was everything Gilbert would ever want. He forced himself to stop his hand’s downward plunge before he grabbed a handful of butt. He didn’t want to scare Jihu, or end up going further than he was truly ready for.

But Jihu seemed to have other plans, moaning and grabbing at Gilbert. Shoulders, pecs, hair—Jihu touched him everywhere, all the while rutting against his belly, sweet sounds flowing from his mouth to Gilbert’s.

There was a desperation to Jihu’s movements, to the noises he made, that caused Gilbert even more hesitation. He was beginning to understand just how starved for a kind touch Jihu must have been, how much he wanted. Gilbert would give him everything he needed, but there were things to take care of first. Jihu’s wounds, the unnamed baby, and Bae, Bae needed to be contacted.

How Gilbert was able to think of those issues while he had a lapful of horny, willing man was a true wonder. He suspected it was the very intensity of Jihu’s desperation that was causing him to withdraw. As much as Gilbert wanted his mate, he equally wanted to know Jihu wanted
him
just as badly, for all the right reasons. The loneliness Jihu had suffered was what he feared Jihu was running from right now, and that wouldn’t do.

Gilbert kept his stroke light, soothing, he hoped, as nonsexual as he could make it. He kissed Jihu back but didn’t let his aggression show, following until Jihu began to kiss him with a little less force. Jihu’s breath was gusting out in puffs from his nose or mouth, depending on the kissing, and Gilbert belatedly thought to try the mental link he’d heard so much about. It was supposed to exist between mates, but when he tried reaching for Jihu that way, Gilbert didn’t feel anything at all except like an idiot. Maybe he was doing it wrong.

Jihu dragged his teeth over Gilbert’s tongue, then his bottom lip, pulling it out a bit before releasing it. He jabbed his hips forward, prodding Gilbert’s belly with his cock. “What did I do wrong? I can’t, I need—I don’t know!”