Giants of the Frost (18 page)

I bobbed my head along with the music and made occasional comments about the night being young and asking who was up for a seventies folk music drinking game, before it became clear that Magnus and Maryanne were probably waiting for me to leave so that they could sort out their differences. I didn't want to stop drinking, nor be alone, nor do anything so mundane as go to bed, but the glances passing between them were laden and, come to think of it, hadn't Maryanne said four times in the past half hour that I looked very, very tired.

"Right," I said, pushing my chair back, "I'm off to bed."

"Good night," Maryanne said forcefully.

"I'll see you in the—" My parting sentence was cut short by my chair becoming entangled between my ankles, sending me sprawling across the floor. The shock of the fall was greater than the pain that shot up my wrist as I tried to save myself. I was drunk. I started crying.

"Hey, it's all right." Magnus was already crouching next to me, helping me up. He put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. "Don't cry."

"I'm not," I cried.

Magnus was solicitous and soothing as he helped me to my feet. "Are you hurt?" .

"I'm not crying because I fell," I blurted.

"Shh, shh, it doesn't matter." Now Magnus enclosed me in a hug and stroked my hair. I sobbed into his shoulder, hating myself for it and knowing I'd regret it.

I heard the sound of a chair scraping back and looked up to see Maryanne glowering at Magnus and me.

"I'll give you two some privacy, shall I?"

I stepped out of Magnus's embrace and brushed my hair off my face. "Don't be silly, Maryanne, it's not—"

"Good night to both of you," she declared, striding toward the door and seizing her coat.

"Maryanne!" Magnus called, going after her. He grabbed her arm; but she twisted out of his grasp and ran, slamming the door behind her. Magnus considered the door for a few moments, then turned and walked back toward me.

"Um, sorry," I said.

"It's not your fault. Maryanne has a jealous streak."

"Jealous?"

"We're trying to work things out but she thinks that you and I…"

I tried not to shudder too openly. "What?"

"I talk about you a lot," he confessed, then smiled.

I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling horribly vulnerable. Cat Stevens played on.

"Don't worry," he continued. "She's insecure. Before you came along, she was the most attractive woman on the island. I've reassured her that there's nothing going on between us, she just doesn't believe me."

"Oh. Well. I'm sorry anyway. I'd better…" I indicated vainly in the direction of the door.

"Wait, Vicky," he said. "I've just got to ask."

"What?" I squeaked.

"There isn't any chance, is there?"

"Chance for… ?"

"For something between us. Perhaps we could have dinner one night in my cabin, a date."

"No," I blurted, before good sense told me to let him down gently. "No, no, no."

"I see," he said. "I'm sorry I brought it up." And then he left the room, calling over his shoulder, "Make sure you lock up."

I mentally assessed the evening. I'd drunk too much. I'd fallen over. I'd cried on my boss, who then came on to me. What a stellar performance.

I gave Magnus a few minutes to disappear from sight, then pulled on my anorak and locked up the rec hall. My breath made fog in the dark. I knew that if I went to bed I would simply lie there until dawn, replaying the disastrous events in my head, all the more horrifying in contrast to the past two evenings spent in the quiet woods with Vidar. The ache of desire squeezed my lungs. I pocketed my keys and headed into the trees.

I walked for ten minutes, in no particular direction, with no particular hope that Vidar was still there. He'd said
goodbye
. Not
see you tonight
. Whoever had dropped him off over at the beach had picked him up again, and he was gone.

I sighed and sagged against a tree. The dark and the cold clung to me, the treetops moved softly. A chill rose up my spine and it sobered me a little. I headed back to the station, arms wrapped rightly around myself. Desolation washed over me. He was gone and, crazy though it seemed, I knew that my last chance of finding love had slipped through my fingers along with Vidar.

I predicted I wouldn't sleep, so I set myself up on the sofa with a book and a cup of instant cocoa. I turned the pages and scanned the words, but none of them made it from my eyes to my brain. I was very drunk and Vidar consumed my thoughts—memories of Vidar, fantasies of Vidar. The melancholy saturated me.

I was nodding off when a tap on the window jolted me awake.

Vidar! It had to be.

I went to the window and lifted the sash, peered into the dark. I could see nothing, but I could hear footsteps retreating into the forest.

I hesitated. What if it wasn't Vidar? What if it was… ?

What, Vicky? One of the monsters you swear you don't believe in?

It must have been Vidar, on the island still, letting me know to follow him into the forest. I checked my watch—3:00 a.m. He wouldn't risk waking one of the others, hanging around near their cabins. I grabbed my anorak, threw open the cabin door, took two steps out, then my courage ran through my fingers like fine sand.

I didn't want to go out there into the forest.

"Damn you, Victoria Scott," I muttered. "You won't be intimidated by imagined bogeys." Despite the lingering fear that curled in my stomach, I strode off the slab and into the forest, listening for footsteps. Branches and twigs swayed and bent around me, their ancient shapes made grotesque by the dappled light from the station behind me. I waited until I was far enough away from the cabins to call out,

"Vidar? Where are you?"

Footsteps to my left. I turned, poised and listening.

"Vidar?"

I knew he could be perfectly silent if he wanted to be, so I scanned in a circle. My field of vision kept moving when I had stopped and I steadied myself against a tree. The weary fug of alcohol and sleep was hard to shake.

"Vidar?" I said again. If Vidar wasn't answering, perhaps it wasn't Vidar at all. I hunched inside my anorak and shuddered. Time to head back to the cabin. This had been a bad idea. I turned. And shrieked.

Skripi stood there, his oily eyes blinking at me in the gloom, his spiky hair and fingers made grey by starlight.

"Vidar is gone," he said.

It must be a dream
. "Wake up, wake up," I said to myself, pinching the skin on my wrist hard. It hurt. I didn't wake up.

"You are awake," he said. "Don't be afraid."

"Wake up!" I screamed, backing away.

"Listen to me, I want to help."

I remembered my mother's letter, something about a good spirit. If this was a dream, I should probably listen. I swayed uncertainly. The dark forest was surreal, my ears were ringing.

"You lost the ward. You have to get it back. I can't get another one. I found it in the draugr's lair. He saw me, he tried to kill me. You have to get
eolh
back. I can't make another, the draugr is watching me."

"I am going insane," I said.

"Vidar is gone. He can't protect you."

"Where has he gone?"

Skripi pointed to the sky. "On his horse."

"Oh… that's reassuring. Because I know that horses can't fly, so you must be talking nonsense, which would mean that I'm dreaming."

"You must find the ward. It's yours and you might need it." He backed away from me with his hands in front of him, the long spiky fingers stretched out. "I'll go. I don't mean to frighten you." He disappeared into the shadows and I stood, rooted to the spot, waiting to wake up.

"I'm drunk. I'm dreaming. I'm going insane," I said. I couldn't move my feet, a whirlwind of panic was eddying up my rib cage, my breath was trapped in my lungs, and then…

A hazy cloud descended and I lost track of sights and sounds and time…

And I woke up in my bed.

"Oh, thank God," I gasped. The dawnlight glowed behind my curtain. "Thank God, thank God." I leaned my head in I my hands and sobbed with relief. I wasn't going mad after all, it was just a peculiarly vivid dream fueled by too much scotch and too many wild emotions. The fact that I didn't remember putting myself to bed was a little creepy, but not anything to fret over… memories were soft, and hard spirits often obliterated them.

My wrist hurt from my fall in the rec hall and I noticed for the first time a gash across my palm. I must have cut it on the back of the chair I pulled over with me. I rose and washed it, smoothed a bandage over it, then went to the window to draw the curtain. The forest looked back. Fear stole over me; if I didn't know better, I would have declared it haunted and never set foot in it again. I touched the cold glass of the window and sighed, wishing very deeply that I hadn't let Gunnar take my good luck charm. Skripi was right: it was mine and I might need it.

At 9:00 a.m. I was amazed to find Magnus at my door with Matthias and Nina.

"Um, hi," I said, squirming inside with the uncomfortable memories of the previous night. Without even a blink that would acknowledge he felt the same way, Magnus smiled, and said, "Good morning, Victoria. Matthias and Nina insisted that I bring them over to see you this morning." I glanced at the twins. Nina screwed up her face at me. "Did they?" I said.

"They've grown very fond of you, and I can see you feel the same way. Perhaps you'd spend a little time with them this morning, and—"

"Magnus, if I'm going to look after your kids, I at least want time off in lieu," I said.

"Done," he said, clearly relieved he didn't have to lie, charm and wheedle anymore. "I promised you four days off in a row, you can have five after the weekend."

"It's a deal. Come on, you two. I'll teach you how to play poker." I ushered them inside. Magnus caught my arm and drew me conspiratorially close. I tensed, thinking he might repeat his offer of a date, but instead he whispered, "I'm paying you now, so don't let them out of your sight."

"I won't."

"Last night while we were in our meeting, Matthias made a climbing rope out of my ties. A number of them are ruined."

I hid a smirk. "I see. I'll watch them closely."

Nina grew bored with card games very quickly and spent her time playing in my makeup case and wardrobe. Matthias was a born cardsharper and cleaned me out of matchsticks before lunch.

"Come on," I said, packing up my deck. "I'll take you over to the rec hall for lunch."

"I'm hungry," Nina declared, rubbing her eyes and smearing mascara down her cheeks.

"I'm not hungry at all," Matthias said. "I don't want to go to the rack hall."

"It's the
rec
hall," I said. "Short for
recreation
. And you have to have lunch, so come on."

"I want to play cards some more!" he shouted.

I handed them their coats. "Well, I want to eat, and we're all stuck together." I gestured them out the door. "Come on."

Nina proudly strutted ahead of me with her unevenly made-up face. Matthias slouched out the door and whined something to Nina in Norwegian. She shook her head.

"Do you want a sandwich or one of Maryanne's vegetable pies?" I asked.

"I said I'm
not hungry
!" Matthias turned and ran, astonishingly fast, into the forest.

"Damn it!"

"Is that swearing?" Nina asked. "I want to learn English swearing."

"Nina, can you go to the rec hall and wait for me? Tell Maryanne we're having pies for lunch."

"I don't want pies. Teach me a swear word."

"No. Now go to the rec hall and wait for me." I dashed into the forest after Matthias. I'd already lost sight of him, but could hear his footsteps ahead of me. Then they slowed, slid about and stopped. I panicked. What if he'd fallen and knocked himself out?

"Matthias? Matthias, are you all right?"

I slipped through the trees as quickly as I could, then stopped, panting, looking around. "Matthias?" No answer. I was certain his footsteps had stopped nearby. I peered closely between the trees and a wash of sensation overwhelmed me…

Last night you were here. Running panicked through the trees, away from Skripi…

But that had been a dream. I'd woken up in bed…

No, you were here.

I spotted a narrow branch, broken, and a memory crushed down on me. Running in the dark, putting out my hand to stop the branch hitting my face, the flash of pain across my palm as it cut me. I looked at the bandage on my hand, frozen with fear.

"HA!" Matthias jumped out from behind a tree, scaring the wits out of me. I shrieked, then when I saw it was just a rotten kid, I pressed my hand over my heart and taught him every English swear word I knew. He ran away from me again, this time in the direction of the station, but I was through with running. I headed out of the forest at my own pace. I felt helpless and afraid, but mostly I felt angry. I'd thought all this nonsense was over, that I'd managed to make it all rational. I didn't want to feel helpless and afraid, but how could I feel otherwise when I could no longer reliably distinguish dreams from reality?

Magnus took the kids over to the beach to collect seashells that afternoon, and I decided to abandon my pride and ask Gunnar for my protection ward. This plan was foiled in the first twenty seconds when Gunnar opened the door, grinned at me, and said, "Let me guess. You've finally abdicated as Queen of the Skeptics and you want your lucky charm back."

"Of course not. What makes you say that?"

"I heard you scream in the forest."

My heart jolted. "Last night?"

"No, today. Around lunchtime."

"Oh. Yes. Matthias gave me a fright."

"Hm. I think it's just a ward against evil spirits, not small naughty boys." He ushered me in.

"If only," I said, sitting at his kitchen table. "Make me coffee?"

"Of course. You look tired."

I dropped my forehead on the table. "Those kids are driving me nuts."

"Then tell Magnus you won't look after them."

"He's paying me in days off." I lifted my head to watch him make coffee.