Ghost Detectors Volume 1 (5 page)

Malcolm was stretched out on the other end of the couch, tapping the toes of his sneakers together out of pure boredom. He looked at
his watch. Eight thirty. What time did the mall close, anyway? Knowing Mom and Cocoa, they'd stop off for a soda or ice cream afterward. And Dad wouldn't be home until after eleven o'clock.

Dandy shut off the blow-dryer and let the ping-pong ball drop. It dribbled across the floor, then rolled into the corner. “When can we go?” he asked.

Malcolm sat up. “We may not be able to go at all tonight. I don't think I can sneak out if it's very late.”

Grandma Eunice threw her head back and laughed at something on TV.

“Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this in front of your great-grandmother,” Dandy whispered, pointing her way.

“It's okay,” Malcolm said. “She doesn't know what's going on.”

“Oh well,” Dandy said. “I don't want to go to that house at night anyway. That place was scary enough in the daylight.”

“I just have to go,” Malcolm said. “And I'm taking my camera. If my specter detector can really detect a ghost, I might be able to capture it on film.”

Grandma Eunice laughed again, this time slapping her leg. A bit of drool rolled down the corner of her face.

“Maybe there's another house we could test it out on,” Dandy suggested.

Malcolm shook his head furiously. “No, it has to be the McBleaky house!”

Suddenly the television shut off. Malcolm
looked over at Grandma Eunice. She sat with the remote still extended in her hand. Her face looked young and bright, and her eyes were lit like someone half her age. “You don't want to go there,” she said.

Malcolm leaned toward her and looked her in the eyes. “Grandma?”

“You don't want to go to the McBleaky house,” Grandma Eunice warned. “It's not fit for any living soul, especially little boys.”

Malcolm couldn't believe it. His great-grandmother had some wits about her after all. “How do you know about the McBleaky house?” he asked, still not convinced she was totally all there.

“Because I knew Old Man McBleaky himself. And I know what happened in that house.”

“What?” Malcolm and Dandy asked, huddling together.

Grandma Eunice moved in closer to the boys. “It all started about 80 years ago . . .”

M
alcolm and Dandy leaned toward Grandma Eunice. Her eyes looked distant. Not like before when she was in another world, but like she was remembering.

She continued, “The McBleakys built that house in the 1920s. They had two boys, Howard and Herbert. Howard was the serious one, always worried about school and his paper route. Herbert was the joker. He made Howard's life miserable, constantly putting dead flies in his ice cubes or fishing string across the bottom of his doorway. Howard hated it. He swore he'd get Herbert back one day.

“Their parents were killed when they were young men. Their mother was struck by lightning while hanging out the wash, and their
dad caught it in a tractor accident. Both within just a couple of months of each other.

“The boys were left alone in that house, but they were old enough to look after themselves. Everyone thought that with the parents gone Herbert would straighten up and get serious. No sir. He kept right on pulling those awful jokes on his brother.

“But then Herbert up and kicked the bucket himself. No one ever knew the true cause of his death. But Neb Fuller, the barber, overheard Howard whispering at the funeral, ‘Guess I got the last laugh.'

“Within a few days, Howard started coming into town, his eyes all red and bloodshot, his face weary and tired. ‘What's wrong, Howard?' people would ask. He'd just lift his heavy head and say, ‘Can't sleep.'

“Then he started aging real fast. He became bitter and frail. He'd hobble around town shaking his fist and hollering at folks. People stayed out of his way.

“One day, I saw a crowd by the fence of the McBleaky house. An ambulance was parked in front, and two men in white coats were hauling
Howard out the door. He was dressed in nothing but his boxer shorts. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, ‘I can't take it anymore! He's still playing tricks on me!' It was a pitiful sight.

“After that, no one's been able to stay in that house. Not one living soul. Herbert's ghost is still there, and he's as loony as ever. So I suggest you and your friend here find another place to try out your ghost gadget.”

Malcolm blinked. Was he dreaming?

“Grandma Eunice, I can't believe it. You still have all your marbles!”

“Yes, sir,” she said, tapping a crooked finger to her head. “They're all right here.”

“Then why are you always pretending to be on Planet Weird?”

Grandma Eunice laughed. “I act the way I'm treated. I tried to convince your mother a long time ago that I'm sane. But for some reason, she and everyone else wants to treat me like I'm one banana short of a bunch. I just go along with it to make them happy. Besides, it keeps me from having to take a turn doing the dishes.”

Malcolm couldn't resist. He reached over and gave Grandma Eunice a hug.

“Now,” she said, “why don't you and Alfred here go on to your laboratory and find something fun to do? I'm okay.”

Malcolm and Dandy hopped up and headed out of the room.

“And Malcolm, honey,” Grandma Eunice called out, “try not to talk about me while I'm in the room.”

When he looked back, she winked and smiled.

G
randma Eunice's story was meant as a warning. But, it just confirmed what Malcolm already knew. The McBleaky house was definitely haunted!

Malcolm's luck was running high. His mom and sister came home early, and Mom went straight to bed, complaining of a headache.

The two boys took their sleeping bags to the basement, claiming they'd sleep down in the lab. Malcolm locked the basement door and pulled out a backpack he'd packed that afternoon.

“What's in there?” Dandy asked.

“Everything we'll need to detect a ghost,” Malcolm answered.

“Don't we just need the specter detector?”

Malcolm rolled his eyes. “And a flashlight and a tape recorder and a camera.”

“What about a snack?”

“Dandy, honestly, why would we need a snack?”

“In case we get hungry.”

Malcolm couldn't believe it. Dandy was serious. “We're not going to get hungry. We won't be there long enough to get hungry! And if you happen to get hungry, maybe the ghost will be polite and offer you something to eat.”

Dandy shrugged. “Okay.”

Malcolm opened the skinny basement window, climbed up on a chair and slithered out. He looked back in at Dandy. “You're not going to chicken out, are you?”

Dandy hopped up on the chair. “I'm right behind you.”

And Dandy stayed right behind Malcolm the whole way. About three feet back, dragging the soles of his sneakers and biting his fingernails.

Malcolm had the jitters, too. Partly from fear, partly from excitement. He had to be brave. This was his one shot at fame. If he could detect a ghost, record it, and capture it on film, he'd
be written up in every major newspaper in the country . . . make that in the world! He wished he'd brought the video camera.

The McBleaky house stood just ahead of them, like a black hole ready to suck them in. Malcolm could hear Dandy's teeth chattering. Once they were hidden by the towering weeds, Malcolm pulled out the flashlight and clicked it on. A circle of white light hit the porch, and Malcolm saw an army of tiny critters skittering into the shadows.

Dandy gulped loudly when they reached the door. “Are you sure we should go in there? That's trespassing.”

“Who would come and arrest us?” Malcolm asked. “Even the cops are afraid of this place.”

Dandy grabbed Malcolm's shoulder. “Shouldn't that tell you something? If cops are afraid, then what are a couple of dumb kids like us doing here?”

Malcolm set the backpack down and pulled out his specter detector. “This,” he said with pride. “Now, do as I say, and don't be a baby.”

The door opened easily.
Eeeeeeeeek.

Malcolm stepped in, turned on the specter detector, then pointed the flashlight at his watch. “It's warming up.”

Dandy still had a death grip on Malcolm's shoulder. “I have to use the bathroom.”

“No, you don't,” Malcolm said, not taking his eyes off his watch. “Two minutes, that's all it'll take.”

The house was still and quiet. The only noises were the ticking of Malcolm's watch and Dandy's ragged breathing. They waited.
Tick. Tick. Tick.

Something moved in the corner. Malcolm whipped the flashlight around and stabbed the darkness. A mouse scurried across and disappeared into a crack.

Only one minute. He counted the seconds silently,
one Frankenstein, two Frankenstein, three Frankenstein.
Dandy's grip had become a serious squeeze, but in less than a minute they'd be on the move.

When the second hand hit the two minute
mark, Malcolm reached for the switch. “You ready?” he asked Dandy.