Getting Rough (23 page)

I ran my fingers through my hair and over my face. “You’ll be fined,” I told him.

He gave me a cocky grin. “So? I’ve got plenty of money.”

I decided to go after the thing that mattered most to him: his appearance. “You’ll look bad. Really bad. And not only will
you
look bad, but
I
will look bad. So will Striker Sports Entertainment… the agency where I just made partner because I signed you. Or did you forget about that? Come on, man. Do me a favor here. I’m going to get my ass chewed as it is. If you don’t get to training camp, I’m probably going to lose my job.”

“Honey, you can’t let him get fired. He’s not just your agent, he’s our friend. Plus, he’s my roommate’s boy toy. She’ll kill me. Do it for me? Please?” Quinn stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

“But I want to be with you,” Denver told him. I had nothing against his sexual preference. Quinn could’ve been a chick and I’d still think Denver’s whining was a comical thing to see from a man with his reputation in the world of football.

“How about if I go to Colorado with you?” Quinn offered, and then added – quite suggestively, “I’ll sit in the stands and watch you get all sweaty.”

“Okay, fine,” Denver conceded. “I want to introduce you to my parents, anyway.”

Quinn’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Of course, babe.” Denver hugged Quinn to him.

This was probably a conversation I didn’t need to be a part of, but I was glad to see them both so happy. Especially knowing how much it had hurt Quinn that his previous lover, Daddy, had kept him hidden for so long. He finally had someone who was proud to claim him.

“Wonderful!” I said, relieved I could report to Wade that the fire had been put out. “You’ll hop a flight tomorrow?”

“You know how I feel about flying, man.” Denver’s fear of flying meant he had to pretty much be sedated in order to do so.

“Aw, don’t worry, sweetie,” Quinn told him. “I’ll be there to distract you.”

“Perfect. So… tomorrow?” I wasn’t going to give up until he agreed.

“Yeah, we can do that,” Denver said. “Sorry if I got you into trouble, man.”

“No worries, Rocket. I’m used to putting out fires,” I assured him. “I’ll call Colorado and let them know you’re on your way.”

“And tell Cass her ass is grass for not checking in with me,” Quinn said and then giggled. “That rhymed. I’m so clever.”

“Will do. You two have fun, but make sure you
get on that plane,
” I stressed. With that, I ended the call.

While I had a decent Wi-Fi signal, I checked my email to see if Ben had sent details for my own flight. He had. In two short days. He’d added a note that the airport had shut down operation until then to allow for the storm cleanup. Doable, but then I started to feel a little chick-ish myself. I’d be leaving Cassidy. Not only Cassidy, but also Abby and the whole town of Stonington. It sort of felt like I was abandoning them.

There was no way to avoid it. I had to get back to assume my place as partner with Striker Sports Entertainment, something I’d worked really damn hard for and wasn’t willing to give up. For anyone other than Cassidy Whalen. Who, ironically, was the one person who’d wanted to keep me from it in the first place. I shook my head at myself. Fate was a real kick in the pants sometimes.

But I wasn’t going to cross that line until I knew how she felt about me. Because if she was just going to laugh in my face about how serious I was about her, no way was I giving up my dream. So it seemed like it was the fourth quarter with seconds remaining on the clock and one play left to be made. Everything was on the line. If Cassidy was my wide receiver, I was her quarterback, and there was nothing left to do but send the damn ball down the field and hope she’d catch it and run it in for the game-winning touchdown.

And it was exactly that thought that led me down the hallway of the second floor until I found myself standing right outside her door.

The knock at my door was expected. Or at the very least, I’d been hoping it would come. Shaw had said he didn’t want to be alone anymore, and I was really glad it didn’t turn out that all of that talk was about the storm and the trauma of drowning, making it a one-night-only thing or a fleeting moment of desperation.

Showered and smelling less like a tomboy, with legs as smooth as a woman’s should be, I checked myself in the mirror one last time – rolling my eyes at how chick-ish I was being – and went to let him in.

When I opened the door, he was standing there, fresh as a daisy as well, dressed in a simple gray T-shirt that hugged his neck in a sexy sort of way and a pair of jeans that did the same thing to his hips. Jesus, he was gorgeous. And quiet.

“Hey,” I greeted him with a warm smile in place.

Why did he look so nervous?

“Hey,” he echoed, his eyes making a sweep over my body so intimately that I could feel my skin warm as if they’d been his hands. And he still wasn’t moving or saying anything. He was beginning to make
me
nervous, even more so than I already was.

“Is something wrong, Shaw?”

Finally meeting my gaze, he smiled. “No. I was just wondering… So, um… did you want to be alone tonight?”

Oh, thank God,
I thought, relief washing over me.

I laughed and shook my head. “Not in the least. In fact, come here. I want to show you something.” Taking his hand, I practically yanked him inside and then dragged him across my room to the open window. Stooping, I stepped through and onto the roof, making sure to check my footing. “Careful,” I warned Shaw before releasing his hand so he’d have them both free to follow safely without a slip.

Traversing the eave, I made my way toward the pitch, leaning forward to distribute my weight evenly. That was hard enough on its own, but there were also some shingles missing, courtesy of Ayla, that made the foot placement tricky. I’d have to be sure to tell Da about those.

When I looked back over my shoulder, I noticed Shaw was just standing in place. “What are you doing?” I asked.

Good Lord, but that sexy little smirk of his had come out to play. “Admiring the view.”

“Well, it’s better up here, if you’ll stop dillydallying,” I said, laughing.

He cocked his head to the side and licked his lips as his attention went straight to my backside. “We’re going to have to agree to disagree on that one, Miss Whalen.”

“Shaw!” I said, quickly straightening as if that would hide my ass. But the sudden movement succeeded only in making me lose my balance. I caught myself, though, just in time to also catch the fear on Shaw’s face when he’d realized the accident that had almost occurred.

“That’s it. We’re getting down,” he said, his tone all business as if he was the boss of me. Again, technically, he was. But in San Diego, not Stonington.

“If you’re scared, say you’re scared,” I taunted with a smirk of my own.

Shaw made that growly sort of sound I’d heard too many times while pleasuring him and it went straight to my girly bits. So much so that I’d started to calculate whether or not we could fuck on the roof of my parents’ home and livelihood before deciding that the shingles might not feel very pleasant on a bare rump.

Reaching the roof of the center dormer, my bedroom window, I finally took a seat, letting my legs fall to either side of the ninety-degree pitch, and then I waited for Shaw to join me. I might have delighted in ogling the way the tendons in his forearms flexed with his climb and the way he had to bend over just a bit to equal out his balance, allowing me a breathtaking view of an ass I’d become obsessed with.

When Shaw finally reached me, he took the only seat left, mimicking my position as he also straddled the pitch right behind me. Apparently not satisfied with the distance between us, he moved closer to hug me to his chest, wrapping his arms around my waist. I was glad he did.

“Can’t have you falling off,” was his excuse. As if he’d needed one.

And then we just sat there.

Casey and I had had the crow’s nest for our special place, but this spot was my personal secret. No one had ever been there with me. Until now.

Tilting my head back to let it rest on Shaw’s shoulder, I looked up at the sky. The stars were bright and plentiful, a twinkling light show to accentuate the half moon so brilliant and so high above. There was a gentle yet steady breeze blowing in from the bay, balmy thanks to the wind streaming in from the south. I sighed, feeling within my element and allowing the energies of the night to help steel up my nerve.

The sound of crickets was almost deafening, or maybe it only seemed that way in light of the silence between Shaw and me. I’d had so much to say, and now that we were alone, I was at a loss for words. So I said the first thing that came to mind.

“You know, if you don’t look down, you can almost pretend Ayla never happened.”

Shaw tenderly pulled my hair away from my neck, and then his cheek was at my ear. His warm breath tickled my skin before his soft kiss followed. “Is there anything else you’d like to pretend never happened?”

I closed my eyes, as the feel of his palms to the inside of my thighs was intoxicating and sending me into sensory overload when mixed with our setting and the wicked thing he was doing with his lips to my neck and ear.

“No,” I whispered.

“I really love these legging things,” he said, his hand inching closer and closer to my center. “Are they warm? Because they feel… warm.” He swept my center, the pressure from his fingertips finding its mark without error.

I gasped, my back arching and any rational thought evacuating as a flood of “yes, please” rushed to meet his touch. Reaching to hook my hands under his thighs, I held on, loving the thrill of sitting so precariously on the edge of a roof while this man whom I would never get enough of made me feel as if I could soar.

“God, you smell so good.” Shaw inhaled deeply, humming his approval on the exhale while he continued to rub me through the leggings.

His tongue was on my neck, a string of openmouthed kisses leaving a hot trail cooled only by the breeze. My body tingled, my flesh pebbling from the sensation. I was lost to him, to his touch, to his mere presence.

What was I going to say to him? I decided it didn’t matter. Well, it did, but it could wait because Shaw’s hand was drifting up my abdomen and slipping under the waistband of my pants for some skin-to-skin contact. My muscles contracted, that thing we women did to make our stomachs seem flatter when a man touched us there. And then Shaw was inside my panties, touching and caressing.

Cupping my pussy, he slipped his fingers between the folds to coat them with my wetness. “That’s for me?” he asked, curling his fingers back to tease my clit with a slow approach.

I could do nothing but nod. If I thought words had failed me before, it was nothing compared to now. Shaw was well skilled at the art of finger play, like a guitarist masterfully strumming his instrument to make the most beautiful music ever composed. Back and forth, round and round, slow then fast then slow again. His movements were accompanied by varying degrees of pressure applied in a legato fashion. The symphony he created was maddening and unpredictable, but it was harmonic.

His cock was hard against the small of my back. I could feel him ready and in need of release, but his only concern seemed to be giving me mine. He’d have it if his persistent fingers had anything to say about it. And it wouldn’t take long.

Shaw’s teeth scraped my earlobe, tugging and sucking at it before he moved down to my neck again. I could hear his breaths, feel them against my back with each rise and fall of his chest. He loved this, loved making me see stars behind my eyes even though there were so many to behold if I’d just open them. I did. I opened my eyes and looked up at those stars, dreamed of reaching out to touch them. All while Shaw pushed me closer and closer as if I were weightless and adrift in a never-ending universe.

It was almost impossible to describe an orgasm. But not tonight. Tonight it was like kicking off the surface of that moon and reaching for the brightest star in the galaxy, and then hugging it to me to let it burn in the most blissful sort of satisfaction.

Putting one hand over his and wrapping the other around his head, I turned my face into Shaw’s neck as I reached for that proverbial star and held my breath. My orgasm washed over me with a whimpered “Unnmph,” which was meant for him and only him to hear.

The death grip I had on his head was likely creating a very uncomfortable bend to his neck, though he didn’t seem to mind in the least. In fact, he resituated himself, taking my jaw into his free hand and kissing me fully. He’d stolen my breath, but it wasn’t the first time. He could have it. He already had my heart, so the need to breathe was useless anyway.

Shaw pulled back, rubbing his nose back and forth against mine before kissing the tip. “Let’s get you inside,” he said.

I honestly wasn’t sure my legs would be steady enough for the precarious climb back down the roof, but I was sure Shaw would guide me to safety without fail. So I put my trust in him, something I never would’ve thought I’d do before our time in Stonington, and let him lead the way.

Once we were back inside, Shaw closed the window behind us and then turned to face me. He looked nervous, like something was on his mind he’d yet to say. Or maybe he was still just super horny. I chanced a look down at his crotch, but the erection I was sure had been there before was gone.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Shaw raked his fingers through his hair. “I think we need to talk.”

Uh-oh. Nothing good ever followed those words. So then I got nervous, a thousand scenarios swarming my brain and trying to come up with a counter to the problem I didn’t yet know existed. Was this the part where he dumped me? Was the orgasm he’d just given the last he’d bestow?

“Wait,” I told him, not quite ready to let him go before he knew how I felt, and really not sure if it would change his mind even if he did. But if I didn’t tell him what I needed to tell him, I knew it would take a whole lot of jazzing myself up to get the nerve to do so again.

Shaw started to pace. “This can’t wait any longer, Cassidy. I have to go back to San Diego, but I’m not going a damn place until I get this off my chest.”

He was leaving. I wasn’t sure why that shocked me so much. It wasn’t like either of us could stay here forever. But it felt an awful lot like the bubble we’d found ourselves in within the relatively safe confines of this little island was about to pop. As much as I’d liked to think I’d escaped, I’d found myself right back in the Stonington frame of mind, that the outside world didn’t exist. It did, and I had no choice but to get back to reality – a reality that was staring me right in the face. “Fine. Say what you’ve got to say, then.”

“Look, there’s a whole lot that’s gone on in the last few days – the last few weeks, actually – and it’s all been happening really fast. So fast I’m having an incredibly hard time keeping up, and I’m all mixed up in the head. Everything I’ve known, my whole way of life, has changed. I don’t know if I’m coming or going, who I am or what I want to be. But what I do know is this thing between us has to change.”

He wasn’t the only one mixed up in the head, and his chaotic rant wasn’t helping the matter. “Just say whatever it is you’re trying to say, Shaw.”

“I want more, Cassidy.” His words were very precise in the way they cut through the air between us.

Understanding dawned on me. The cold, hard truth. “I’m not enough.” I let the words hang in the air until they really sank in. “I read you loud and clear.”

“Obviously not,” he said. “Because I want more of
you
. Like on a permanent basis, more.”

I furrowed my brow, not quite sure I understood what he was saying and unwilling to make any assumptions without further clarification, because the last thing I wanted was to look or feel like an even bigger fool if I got it wrong.

Shaw must have read my distress. “My whole way of life has changed… because of you. Don’t you get it? All I’d ever known was struggle. I’d had to fight my way out of the slums. I’d had to fight to keep a roof over my head and food on my table. I’d had to fight my way into the boardroom. And I’d had to fight to prove I was worthy of being there.

“I’m tired, Cassidy. I’m tired, and I don’t want to fight anymore. Not unless I’m fighting to stay by your side. Not unless I’m fighting my way into your heart.”

“Don’t say that to me, Shaw. Don’t say that unless you mean it.”

“I do mean it.” He stepped to me, cupping my face in his hands and looking me in the eyes. “I love you. I have never loved anyone. And as egotistical as you think I am, the truth is I haven’t even loved myself.”

I was as frozen as an ice statue, with all the mobility of one, as well. But I didn’t feel its arctic chill. No, quite the opposite. Shaw’s words had set me aflame with their potency. I was stunned. Maybe even a little confused. Crap, this must have been what going into shock felt like.

Shaw’s baby blues turned a rainy-day gray. “Please say something.”

Well, there was a novel idea. “I don’t know what to say.” What the hell was I talking about? Of course I knew what to say! So why were the words refusing to come out?

He released the hold on my face and stepped away. “Oh, God. I’m making a total ass out of myself here.” He turned toward the window and then back again, exasperated. “I just told you I love you and you don’t know what to say?”

There was a pleading in his eyes, a sort of desperation and vulnerability I’d never seen there before. Like a man dying from a self-inflicted wound to the chest who suddenly changed his mind and wished he could take it back. And I was the only one with the ability to keep his heart from bleeding out all over the place, but I was too terrified to do anything about it.

Did he mean it? Of all the women who had likely passed in and out of his life, why was I more special?

Fed up with my stalling, Shaw shook his head in defeat and turned to walk away. And that simply was not okay with me. In fact, it terrified me even more than applying pressure to that gaping wound.