Get Zombie: 8-Book Set (43 page)

I told him that we were through. Over. Stick a fork in me. I was
DONE.

Next think I knew, he had his hands wrapped around my neck –
his thumbs pressed into the center of my throat. People were
screaming for the police. A baby cried. I remember looking into his
fat face and seeing all the hate he built up for me. Right before my
eyes exploded, Phil ran up and hit him over the head with a milk
carton, then beat the hell out of him – kicked, bit him,
slapped him, really made an example out of Denny Horpor in front of
all those kids watching. Phil sat down and held me, rocked me in his
arms. I couldn't stop coughing. So embarrassing....I kept saying,
“I'm sorry.” Denny stood up, massaging his head, and an
old lady hit him with her purse. Then another old lady showed up and
hit him, and another, then another.

The cops showed up and tackled him to the ground.

Phil...he went with me all the way to the hospital.

Stayed with me that whole time.

I stopped pacing around.

Denny. Banglan. Dreston. Drewboy. Ba'aron. Verntorn. Ralph.

All those jerks. All those ex lovers. It was time to clear them all
out. It was time for an exorcism. Before I got married, I was going
to get rid of them once and for all. I went into the kitchen and got
out a pile of newspapers, tearing them all up, making these little
dolls. Each one represented an ex lover. I even cut their heads out
of some old pictures and stuck them on the paper dolls.

I went out to the backyard and stood those things up on the grass and
lit them on fire.

I swear, I could hear them cry out for help. They begged for my
forgiveness. Their shrieks filled my ears. It was done. I felt cured.
I was clean.

I was ready for marriage.

FRAN

I felt like a fool. I didn't think
it would work. The whole thing was too good to be
true
.
I sat in my car, on the side of the dirt road, staring into the dark,
waiting to see Phil's car drive up. Lolligal said I'd find him there;
said that I needed to be patient; said I had to stop calling him and
waking him up.

“Relax, my child,” he said. “He'll show.”

I kept repeating what he said in my mind.

He'll show....He'll show....

I started thinking about Phil and
Carmen getting married. Imagining them kissing, shoving cake into
their mouths, kissing, kissing, KISSING. I wanted to yell out. Felt
like something heavy was in my throat. I was being strangled! Carmen
was strangling me. She always had the luck, always had to better me
in everything.
Had to
,
get it? She went out of her way to shame me. Always. I started
replaying things in my mind: Her better house, better job, better
car, better driveway, better breasts, better face, better future
husband.

She was going to enjoy all his money. Greedy whore. All that money.
And I'd see none of it. And why should I? I wasn't the one God smiled
down on. Yin and Yang. Black and white. The world demanded balance.
Lucky sister, unlucky sister. Guess who I was???

All that thinking pissed me off – and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed
that burning feeling all over my body – all that anger. I
felt....

Inspired.

Where the hell is Phil? He's supposed to be here by now. I was
promised
.

Right when I was about to call Father Lolligal again and threaten to
eat away his skin – that I was coming over to collect – I
saw Phil....Saw him stumbling out of the dark, down the road. He
looked like a zombie. He was naked. All beaten up. All shivering. I
turned on the headlights. He flew his hands over his face and
screamed at the car like it was gonna jump on him. I ran out and held
his hands.

“
You're okay,” I
promised. “You're okay now. I'm here.
I'm
here for you.”

I hugged him.

He hugged back and slowly opened his eyes.

“Carmen?”

“No,” I said.

He stepped back...shocked. I thought he was going to hit me.

“
Fran? I can't believe this,”
he said. “It's you. It's really
you
.”
He put his hands on my face. “I have something to tell you.”
He held me close, mouth close to mine...and then he said the words I
had been dying to hear for months.

“I want you,” he said. “God, I've wanted you for so
long!”

He kissed me, and when he did it, a picture of my sister hit my eyes
like lightning. So I kissed him back – more and more until
Carmen was driven out from my mind. Phil eased me to the ground. We
rolled around on all that dirt, all those leaves, all those bugs.

“It was always you,” he said. “When I was with her,
it was always you I made love to. I could never get you out of my
head. I'm yours. I'll give you anything! Just tell me you'll be
mine.”

It worked,
I kept thinking.
Jesus, yes, thank you...it worked.

I could feel all his money in my bloodstream. I could feel my
wardrobe expanding, my wallet expanding, my future expanding, my
travel expenses expanding. The good life. It was kissing me. I had
everything. Security. Peace. Life was going to be good.

I owed that priest an apology.

I opened my purse and pulled out a small container.

“Wanna have some fun?”

He looked at it, curious.

“What's that?”

I opened the container and sniffed it.

“I call it Babiroin. Super baby-heart.”

“Good Lord, it's still beating!”

“That's how you know it's good.”

“Where'd you get it?”

“I made it.”

“
Made
it???”

“I dig up cemeteries, bring babies home, cut them open,
reanimate the hearts with black magic and various dance moves and
moaning sounds, and inject the hearts with dangerous amounts of
cocain. What do you think I've been doing the whole time I was gone?
Going to college? Get real. I've been making Babiroin. Super
baby-hearts.”

“What does it do?”

“Babi-ro-in gives you the greatest high you've ever had. You'll
feel like a goddamn werewolf!” I licked the heart, and it was
like licking battery acid. “Consumption is the only way.”

“
I have to
eat
that thing?” He shook his head. “I can't. It's too
weird.”

I was losing him. He was freaking out.

“I ain’t putting that stuff in my mouth,” he said.
“Jesus, please don't make me bite it.”

I kissed him.

“
If you
love
me you will.”

His response was immediate.

“You're right,” he smiled. “I love you. As your
lover, I have to do anything you say.”

We were on our knees, facing each other. I held the beating heart in
front of us, and we ate it at the same time – eating the drug
like wild dogs. Blood was all over my face. Our eyes were wide open.
There was something very sexual about the whole thing. It was the
first really romantic thing I ever experienced. Phil was looking
around like a confused deer. It was like he wanted to say something
important, but couldn't spit the words out. His eyebrows kept going
up and down. His tongue went in and out of his mouth like a lizard. I
was exhibiting the same mannerisms.

Fantastic!

We were aroused. Sexually.

Phil bear-hugged me and flung his head back and roared like a lion
and we rolled down the side of the mountain – his lips pressed
hard against mine. We ended up in a bush, where he made love to me
every which way. I hoped I wasn't rolling around on an ant-hill.

Next thing I knew, the sky opened up and a giant hand reached down
and picked us up. We screamed and screamed. I gripped Phil's legs for
dear life. A bird flew into my head.

“What's happening?”

We were in Heaven. We made love on a ground of clouds. All the angels
clapped and cheered and smiled at us.

CARMEN

I drove faster. Phil was in trouble;
I could feel it. He was
dying
.

I had to think positive. He was okay. But...what if he was in a
crash? All dead and bleeding and headless? Legless? Guts all hanging
out – all draped over his shoulder? What then? I'd be alone
again. How would I respond to being alone again? Would I contemplate
suicide? How strong was I? Phil was always by my side. He was my
guardian angel, my lover, my doctor, my soul mate – my damn
better half. Phil had his hands all over my heart – he was
gripping it – pumping it. With him gone...dead...how would I
live???

I shook my head. Cleared my thoughts. I saw something up ahead and
squinted:

Blinking red lights. License plate. It was Fran's car.

A naked man ran in front of me. I yelped and hit him and slammed on
the brakes. The man was under the car. An equally naked woman ran up
and pulled him out and up to his feet.

Fran and Phil stood in front of my headlights.

Amazing emotions then.

Confusion.

Fear.

Anger
....

It felt like I was in my very own movie: The camera zooming in on our
faces for dramatic effect. I remember getting out of the car and
hollering at them – throwing mad questions at them. “What?”
“Huh?” “Jesus!” “F-this!” and
“F-that!”

“What the hell!” I went. “What the hell is this!?”

Fran held Phil in her arms.

“You almost killed him!” she said.

They were damn dirty. Mud and leaves covered their life-giving bits.
I took a step closer.

“Phil? What did she do to you??? Are you on drugs? Your
eyes....They're completely red – filled with blood!”

Phil was shaking his head at me.

“It's over,” he said. “We're done!”

Fran held him in her arms.

And then she kissed Phil on the mouth. Their tongues went at it like
bewildered snakes. Phil was in ecstasy. I saw in my mind's eye a
picture of the future – of us married. It shattered into pieces
and went into my eyes. Crying was immediate. He gave in. Is that was
happened? I thought. She finally won. I wanted to run up to him and
slap some sense back into that head of his.

“What did she do to you? Are you on drugs?”

He shook his head.

“Witch! You must've put some kind of hex on me. It's over now.
My eyes are open.”

He yanked at his hair.

“
You make me sick. Looking at
you is like looking at an abortion. God!” He picked up rocks
and began throwing them at me. “Get away from me!” he
went. “Beat it! Scram! I
hate
you!”

Fran just laughed and laughed – hands on her knees. At certain
points (usually when a rock hit my head), she pointed and made an 'O'
face and said, “Ooooh! Ho ho ho!”

One got me right on the temple. Dizziness took me. I felt like
falling over. Had the world gone mad?! Was I dreaming??? Gadzooks!
Was this Hell??? All I could manage to say was, “I...I...I....”

Listen! Get a grip! Stop it.
I was weeping – blubbering. My brain yelled,
You're
making a fool of yourself. Just shut up! Run away before he throws
bigger rocks!

Fran walked up and jabbed her finger at my chest.

“Now who's the better one, huh? Nowww who's the lucky one!”

I looked at Phil – expecting him to run up and kick Fran in the
back, expecting him to carry me away, run off with me into the dark,
back home, tell me that it was all some sick joke.

Didn't happen.

Phil just stood there with his arms folded across his chest. He was
scowling at me – like he was trying his damnedest to burn
lasers into my face. And it worked, too. I felt my brain melting. I
spun around and ran into my car and drove away...leaving them in the
dark.

Left them to their gross business.

Now what?

FRAN

After Phil was done doing things to me, I put my clothes on, and we
got into my car. He was dripping with mud and shaking all the time,
smiling, teeth chattering. What a mess. I made him sit on newspaper,
and we drove off. He fell asleep, his arms and legs twitching. Bad
dreams. He was yelling in his sleep.

“Aliens!” he went. “Touching me. Caressing me!
Ohhhhh....”

I was freaked out. I wanted him to shut up with the bizarre talk, so
I punched him in the face a few times. It seemed to work. He just
snored the rest of the way to his car. The thing was a wreck –
roof torn clean off.

I hit the brakes and sent his head flying into the dashboard. He woke
up.

“My car,” he said. “They ruined it! Bastards....”

He walked out and found his clothes inside, in the backseat. I rolled
down my window and stuck my head out.

“Did they take your wallet?”

“No,” he said, counting the money inside.

I threw my hands over my face and almost cried.

“Thank God,” I said. “That was a close one.”

Phil put his stinking clothes on, and we drove off to my place.

My
secret
place.

PHIL

I remember that road. We had made
love there until we got all raw. Sometimes Carmen would run across my
mind, ruining things for me. In my imagination, I was pushing her out
of our home, yelling at her to leave and never return. She'd be
laughing the whole time, wouldn't she? Bet she would be. Laughing
about how she had fooled me all this time. She was just using me
because I was a therapist. She just wanted a free talk. Hell, I
should charge her for all those nights I had to listen to her
drivel...her sins. I had to sit through all of it. She was just using
me, don't you see? It hurts like all hell – finding out you
were being used. I don't recommend it. How could she do that to me?
She said she
loved
me,
and I loved her. Didn't I?