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Authors: Daniel Birch

BOOK: Get Some
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Roux sat there in silence.


So that’s twelve of your men gone in – what - a few hours. Word is you’re about a 30 man strong outfit. My guess is that the rest are running by now, my friend, if they haven’t stopped to tell you, so you’re all alone. It’s over for your outfit. Me and my guys here run this shit now. We have been quietly pissing all over Hull marking our territory for days. It’s our playground now and you didn’t notice a thing. Slack, Major Roux, slack.’


So what are you going to do with my family?’


Well, that’s entirely up to you, Roux. Firstly, I am taking over Hull. All your shit stops. You get the fuck out tonight. Secondly, you sever all ties with that twisted fuck Trigg and his pals. You leave them to us.’


And if I don’t?’ asked Roux.


Well,’ Valukana lit a cigarette, ‘if you don’t, I light a fucking match.’

Chapter Thirty Four

After all the waiting, all the jitters, she had finally said yes. I tell you to see her face light up the way it did, to see her smile like she did, it was a beautiful thing.

After we got home Emma spent hours and hours on the telephone telling everyone in the world it seemed. I had agreed to meet Joey in the morning, so I would tell him then. He was the only person I had to tell really.

I sat in the living room for a little bit of peace. Emma could get a gold medal for chatting and I was tired as my strength had still not returned to what it was. I seemed to get tired quicker. I was skinny compared to what I was but the weight was coming back slowly but surely, one sausage roll at a time.

Getting used to my left hand being minus the two fingers was the real bummer, though. I was always right handed but it’s mad the things you still do with your left. For example, I couldn’t reach for the remote with my left hand any more as I used to, it was weird tying shoe laces and much harder to wash my hair. It sounds crazy but even when I took a piss, I always took my cock out with my right hand, but when I put it away again I always zipped up with my left, so all that was confusing too. I would never have thought that my two bottom fingers did anything useful.

Sitting in the living room I gazed out of the window. It was pissing it down outside and I remember thinking back to years ago when I was just a teen, astray and mental with Trigg. I remembered hating this city, hating the fact it rained all the time. Funny thing is I prayed for it when I was shackled from head to toe in that mud pit. I longed for something to remind me of here, this place, my home. There really was no place like home.

I smiled to myself in the hope that maybe, just maybe, things were working out. I remember Joey’s mam used to say ‘smile and the world smiles back’. It’s fucking right that is. This doing good shit was really working out for me. I was becoming something along the lines of a decent person, and it made me feel human again.

It seemed I had drifted off into a warm cosy sleep when I woke to Emma and Sarah’s laughs as they giggled at me.


I’m drooling again aren’t I?’ I asked. I knew I looked like Homer Simpson when I slept, as any bloke does really.


No,’ Emma laughed. Neither her nor Sarah could contain their amusement as they laughed uncontrollably.

What were they laughing at?

I got up and walked like a zombie to the kitchen, I was tired and figured I’d have a protein shake before bedtime. It was 2.30 in the morning so I needed to go to sleep, however Emma and Sarah were drunk and I could see a couple of empty rosé wine bottles on the kitchen counter.

As I mixed my shake I noticed my reflection in the microwave. The pair of buggers had ‘trannied’ me.

Getting ‘trannied’ means that if you fall asleep, somebody puts lipstick on you, does your hair and applies make-up to your face, hence the term tranny, as in transvestite.


You pair of twats,’ I laughed. They kept on giggling like schoolgirls. ‘I think you have to admit, though, that I make one sexy bitch.’

They had done a good job on me I have to say. It was a good prank. I figured what the hell and joined Emma and Sarah for a few drinks. We chatted for hours and it was nice. Sarah was Emma’s best friend, just like Joey was to me.

Hmmm…’There’s a thought,’ I wondered.

I just came out and said it. ‘Hey Sarah…didn’t you ever like Joey?’

She looked at Emma and then back to me. She looked puzzled.


He’s married though, so…?’


Not for long, hun. Divorce papers are in. Tell you what, he’s a good lad, y’know. He’d look after you, and on top he has a killer personality. I just think you two would get on. You’re lovely, he’s my best mate. Makes sense, yeah?’


What do you think, Ems?’ asked Sarah, but by the look on her face she had already made up her mind.

Laughing at us both, Emma smiled and said ‘Hey, he is always checking you out Sarah when he comes around, so I know he’s interested. Go for it. Just glad he’s got rid of that bitch he married. He has just had bad luck with women. Before that who was it, Tommy?’


Ha-ha, it was that go-go dancer.’


You mean stripper, Tommy, he was with er…ooo …. what was her name?’


Jenna Jugs!’ I blurted out.

Emma laughed because that wasn’t her name but her name was nevertheless Jenna, and yes she had the jugs. It was just she was mentally unstable and crashed Joey into a McDonalds drive thru one night because Joey called her a nut.


She was fit though, honey. Mmm,’ I said


You just watch it, mister,’ laughed Emma.

What a night it had been, the proposal went great, Emma was happy, and now it seemed I was setting Joey up with a decent girl for once… Get in!

Chapter Thirty Five

Once my pulse had returned to normal I started to take in just how close I had been, Valukana outlined to me just how dangerous X Company were, or had been.

Sat in Valukana’s new casino, which was yet to be opened, we had a good talk. Here was this man who I’d never heard of a few months ago, I do him a few small favours and he saves my life. No matter how different we were, I owed him.

I asked Valukana if there was anything I could do. He didn’t have to help me, he could have let me rot. But he didn’t. While I’m not so stupid as to know Valukana had his own reasons for wanting to take down X, he didn’t have to do it tonight.

Seeming pretty relaxed, Valukana started telling me about his plans, clubs he was going to buy. This man was aiming for the top, but not the type of ‘top’ normal people refer to. He wanted the underworld falling at his feet. I said to him I didn’t want to know about his criminal endeavours. He respected my wishes but also wanted to outline what kind of a man he was, who X was and what they had done, and also wanted me to know that I owed him nothing. He looked at me, as icy as ever and said…


Joey, I always say, if someone does me right, I do them right; if someone does me wrong…they die.’

Needless to say, I was glad to be on this man’s good side.

He told me many a story about the crime in our area though. Over the last few years, X had controlled most of the organised activity in Hull, something I wasn’t aware of. I actually thought I was clued up to a lot of what was going on due to my connections but, in truth, I didn’t know anything. I had a judge telling me it was Albanians running the show six months back, then a barrister I knew told me he had info it was all about the Turks. What I had learned was that the whispers in our system were exactly that, and these criminals had us right where they wanted us - clueless. Word was X had the docks, had men working on different levels getting things in and out past the all-evil customs and excise agents. From tobacco to whisky, anything that was deemed profitable, X tried to deal in it. Of course there were drugs too, but only more recently.

The more disturbing fact which Valukana brought to my attention was the willingness of the law enforcement people to turn a blind eye if the price was right. Scary.

We sat for a few hours, just talking.

I told Valukana that I would have to be careful if we were to be friends, and that I couldn’t spend too much time around his sort. I felt awful saying it but I took my career seriously and from what I picked up from the time we had been chatting, I really couldn’t be near this guy.

We agreed we would stick to the occasional game of golf, which was a relief because this man was just scary, no matter how friendly he was to me. He was focused, determined, but most of all feared. He had got rid of X Company more or less in the course of one day - one day! If he could do that I figured his methods involved more than talking. I couldn’t be around people like that, but I offered my legal services all the same should he find himself in the dock. He wanted to spill the details of how he got rid of Major Roux and co, but I didn’t want to know. He left it alone, stating only that he had had a ‘messy’ few days.

I had to leave, needed to get my head down after the night’s drama. On my way out Valukana told me to be vigilant. He had heard that Trigg had been trying to get a contract out on someone. Valukana told me I would be watched for a few weeks by one of his men. I wanted to call the police but he wouldn’t have it. He said they couldn’t ‘protect fuck all’. I have to admit I agreed. The thing about the police in our country is they are not issued with guns, so when it comes to the hardcore crims, they are at a disadvantage straightaway.

I agreed on the principle but I was not to be bothered. Valukana said I wouldn’t even see the man protecting me. ‘He will remain discrete. He will not be seen or heard. He will remain in the shadows, Joey.’


Wow, is it Batman?’ I laughed.


No, Batman would be this guy’s bitch, trust me.’

It felt kind of cool knowing I had someone protecting me, but I have to admit I was still shaken.

Valukana got me a car home. On the way I kept thinking of poor Tommy. I had suffered for just a few minutes under the hands of some thugs, but I was saved. I kept thinking how in hell Tommy had survived such an ordeal. How did his mind; his body, deal with the torture?

It was only yesterday Tommy had made fun of his own hand where he had lost two fingers. He said it was his ‘ninja turtle’ hand. I guess Tommy was made different to me because I think I would have just died if I had had to go through that much pain, that much torture.

Torture…Christ the word just makes me shiver.

Chapter Thirty Six


It’s over, Trigg. I am not at all happy with your irresponsible behaviour and the havoc it has reaped on X Company. I never gave that order. That is why we have rules. Now it’s all over.’ Major Roux couldn’t hide his incandescent anger.


It’ll be sorted, Major, just calm down. Who the fuck is this guy, this Valukana? I for one have never heard of the prick. If you say he can’t be bought, can he be got?’


No, he doesn’t make deals, Trigg. I don’t know who he is with but people tell me he is definitely not to be messed with. You see, there are levels of organisation in our field of work, Trigg. There are petty criminals, there are semi-pros like us, and then there are the pros. This guy is a pro.’


What? We aren’t pros? You have had the knock (customs) in your pockets for years, you have some police on the clock, it’s all been X’s playground. How can that not be pro?’


You don’t understand, Trigg. In this game money talks. Valukana has it in abundance. Money buys success. It’s that simple. I hear this guy kills for fun. When he pressed the gun against my head, he wanted to pull the trigger, I could tell. It was fun for him. He poured petrol over Beth and Kate, Trigg. He was going to make me watch while they burned. He killed twelve of our guys in a day. He is crazy. My guys in the police don’t want to know. That means it’s over. He has them now.’


Fuck me. So what now for me? Am I out?’


Don’t you get it, Trigg? Am I moving over to words of one syllable? It’s over. Now I have to separate myself from you for a while. I am going down south. I have friends there, I need to lay low and I suggest you do the same. When things quieten down I will have to re-evaluate our position because we are relatively small compared to someone like Valukana. This guy, I’ve heard, has contacts in high places, and I mean all over the place. He his vicious, Trigg, I saw photos of him peeling old Marv’s eyelids off with a potato cutter. He told me my balls would be next if I didn’t submit to him, and I believe him. We are finished here. He is the new breed. For us it was never about violence, but these men, they are animals. For now you are on your own. When and if we ever have work for you again it will have to be in another place. Our time in Hull has expired. We did well to have it for as long as we did. To be successful in this game you have to know when you’re beaten.’


So that’s it, you just give him Hull and be done with it?’


Yes, I guess it is. X Company is not about street wars. X Company is about street business.’


Fuck that, with all respect. I’ll make it on my own. I have guys who don’t give a fuck about reputations. You say X doesn’t do wars? You guys are Army for fuck’s sake. Well I have started wars and won wars. I’ve seen and done more in one tour than this pretender.’

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