Get It Girls (14 page)

Vonda paused to see if she was getting through to her. “It like everybody is zombies or something. Even four of my brothers got hooked on that shit.” She read Jessica’s eyes and said, “No, Chubby is the only one who’s not on it, but he sells it from time to time and shouldn’t be doing that. That shit even got Tiny’s moms strung out and Lynn’s sisters.” Vonda shook her head again. “That’s why I met you before you got uptown to prepare you for what you are about to see.”

Jessica remained silent as her words resonated in her mind.

Vonda reached in her purse and pulled out a roll of money and handed it to her and said, “Here, this is a thousand dollars.”

Jessica looked at the wad of money with apprehension.

“This just part of the money that we earned while we were up. Come by my house anytime you ready and you can get the rest of your share.”

Jessica looked at the money again and shook her head. “No, Vonda. I didn’t earn this.”

“What do you mean you didn’t earn this?” asked Vonda. “We were crew, and that’s what we vowed before we even went in there. All for one and one for all, remember?”

Jessica was still reluctant. “I told you from Jump Street that I didn’t want to deal drugs and wanted no part of that.”

Vonda got serious and said, “Jessica, you know as well as I do that nobody on the outside was sending us any packages or filling our commissary. We had to do what we had to do, remember? Now we made it out and we are alive and that’s the only thing that matters.” She pushed the money back over to her. “We only did two days in prison, the day we entered . . .” Vonda waited for Jessica to complete the rest.

“And the day we leave out,” Jessica finished. “And everything in the middle doesn’t count.”

When Vonda and Jessica got uptown to Harlem, Jessica was surprised to see how much everything had changed. It seemed like everywhere they walked, young boys were yelling, “Jumbos, y’all. Jumbos, two for five.”

The strange thing was how openly they were doing it, like they didn’t have a care in the world. All the guys seemed to wear huge gold chains around their necks and all had fancy cars and pagers on their hips. They also seemed more disrespectful to women. A group of guys hollered at Vonda and Jessica as they passed, trying to get their attention by offering them some money or drugs to talk to them. And then, with her own eyes, Jessica saw one of Vonda’s older brothers that she’d known since she was kid, pushing an old rickety shopping cart collecting cans. When he saw his sister and Jessica, his eyes lit up with excitement.

“Oh, shit, is that you Jessica?”

The minute he walked up to them, Jessica smelled a strong, musty odor emitting from his body. The clothes he had on were well worn and tattered, and he looked as if he hadn’t showered or changed his clothes in months. “What’s up, sis?” he said to Vonda, as he jumped nervously from toe to toe. He shifted his attention back to Jessica and smiled, revealing his yellow, decaying teeth.

Jessica couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Since she known him he was always a sharp and immaculate dresser and was always the first person to offer her and the other girls money for school.

He saw Jessica’s reaction and conceded to shame. “I know I look a li’l bad right now, but I’m gonna get myself together this week and go in one of them programs,” he said, trying his best to reassure them. He looked away and said, “Listen, Jess, I know you just got out, but you think you can spare a couple dollars to get something to eat?”

Vonda could no longer look at him because she knew he was lying. Many days he’d made such promises to his sister only to disappoint her by lying and taking the money she gave him to buy some more drugs. She tried in vain to get him to go in a program, only to have him not show up at all. She’d lost all trust in him and it hurt her deeply.

Jessica immediately reached in her pocket and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill. He looked at the bill as if it were a poisonous snake. She extended the bill out to him and he quickly snatched the bill and walked off in frenzy in case she realized she had made a mistake.

“Oh, thanks Jess,” he hollered, “I’m, I’m gonna pay you back too, soon as I get my welfare check.”

They watched him with sadness as he rounded the corner, knowing exactly what he was going to do with the money. All Jessica could think of at that moment was getting home to see her little brother.

**********

Jessica’s mother had lost the family brownstone years ago because of the second mortgage, and Mrs. Jones now rented a two-bedroom apartment nearby on 142nd Street between Lenox and 7th Avenue.

Vonda walked Jessica to 142nd Street and gave her her number and promised to get up with her the next day. They said their goodbyes and Jessica reached in her pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper with 141 W 142nd street written on it and proceeded down the block. When Jessica finally got to building 141, she immediately grew uneasy. Never in her life did she recall living in such squalor. She watched a group of men standing menacingly on the stoop as people walked in and out of the building. She reached in her pocket for the address that she had written down and looked at it again, somehow hoping that she had it wrong. She cursed. She took a deep breath and walked toward the building and up the stairs.

She was immediately accosted by young thugs, who asked her, “How many you want, baby?”

“What’s up baby, you want a hit?”

Some were even more blatant and asked, “How many of these thangs you want to suck this dick, baby?”

Jessica didn’t say a word and proceeded up the staircase to apartment 3F. Along the way, she passed a female addict giving another man a blow job right on the staircase landing. Jessica walked past them with disgust—they didn’t even have the common courtesy to stop what they were doing and continued as if she wasn’t even there. Jessica arrived on the dank, barely lit third floor and looked around in anguish. She paused and looked at the decaying walls and worn floors and searched for apartment 3F. When she found it, she inhaled deeply and smelled the pungent odor of dried urine and immediately wanted to vomit. She wiped her nose, closed her eyes, then knocked on the apartment door. Jessica knocked harder after no one responded, and that was when she heard her mother’s voice.

“Get away from my door, Jordan; I’m not letting you in. Now go away!”

“Ma, it’s me, Jessica.” Jessica heard footsteps approach, then the peephole latch slide.

“Jessica?” asked Mrs. Jones, who still didn’t fully recognize her only daughter.

“Yeah, Ma, it’s me.”

Jessica heard her mother unlatching a multitude of locks. Finally, she stared in her mother’s face, which she hadn’t seen in over six years since her father’s funeral. Her mother had aged badly, she thought. They stood in the doorway unsure of what to do next, so Jessica made the first move and put her arms around her mother. They hugged briefly and pulled away just as fast.

Jessica smiled awkwardly until her mother opened the door wider and said, “Well, come on in.”

When Jessica walked in the apartment, she looked around and noticed that it was sparse, but clean, just as her mother had always kept her home. She showed her to the living room and offered her a seat on the sofa and sat across from her on what Jessica recognized as her father’s favorite chair.

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence until her mother inquired, “Why didn’t you let me know you were getting out? I would have had things prepared for you.”

Jessica only shrugged. “I wanted to surprise you.”

Her mother nodded.

Jessica looked at an old picture of her and her family on the wall and asked, “So, where is Jordan?”

Her mother shook her head wearily, exposing a valley of worry marks on forehead. She let out a huge sigh. “Jessica, I don’t know where your brother is. He done changed for the worse by getting himself messed up on drugs.”

Jessica could see that it was very hard for her mother to talk about him, but she needed to know everything.

“So, he doesn’t stay here anymore?” Jessica asked.

Her mother shook her head and admitted, “No, I put him out over six months ago and won’t let him back in until he gets himself some help.”

“So, you had to put him out, Ma? You couldn’t just, you know, let him stay here instead of being on the streets with nowhere to go?”

Her mother stared at Jessica and answered, “Now, Jessica, this is something that you just don’t know about yet. You have been away for a long time. You don’t know what it’s like out here. I gave your brother hundreds of opportunities to stay here, but each time I gave him a chance the worse he got. He steals, lies, and heaven knows what else just to get money for drugs, and I got sick of it. First he started off asking me for money all the time, then I noticed my things coming up missing—money, jewelry, even meat from the freezer.”

Her mother shook her head as she thought back. “He just started not to care anymore on how he gets it and after a while I began becoming afraid of him. When I tell him I’m not giving him any more money . . .” She looked Jessica square in the eyes and said, “I swear I think he would kill me just to get the money.”

Jessica began to think about the conversations she’d had with the girls in prison and how it was exactly how they explained when a person get hooked on crack. Jessica only remained silent and continued to listen to her mother, knowing that she might be right.

“Everything was one big lie after another. Then one day I come home and opened the door and everything was gone—the televisions, electronics, clothing, everything.”

Jessica looked around and for the first time noticed that there wasn’t a television in the living room. Jessica shook her head, not wanting to believe any of it, but her mother continued.

“That boy even sold the refrigerator out the kitchen, Jessica, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m afraid to be in my own house. Whenever I confront him about anything he yells and curses at me to mind my business. I sleep with my bedroom door locked and sleep with my money in my bra whenever I go to bed. Then one night I woke up and caught him with his hand down my bra trying to steal the money, and when I caught him he ripped my bra and took the money and ran out of the house.”

Jessica put her head down, not wanting to believe what she had just heard. She became angry and rose to her feet. “So, where is he at now, Mama?”

Mrs. Jones shook her head and said, “I don’t know. He comes by here from time to time asking for some money, but I tell him to go away because I’m sick of all the lies and stealing whenever I did give him a chance.” She looked at her daughter and said “Jessica, that stuff that they got out there is...is bad. Promise me that you will not touch that stuff or you going to turn out just like the rest of them. You hear me?” Jessica nodded. That settled her mother down a little and she asked, “So, you going to be staying here awhile?”

Jessica looked around and said, “Yes.”

Her mother nodded and stood up and said, “You can take Jordan’s room. I’ll change the bedding for you, ok? I also have an extra set of keys for you that I’ll give to you later.”

Jessica thanked her.

Her mother exhaled and told her, “I’ll take something out for dinner and we’ll catch up on things a little later.”

As she was walking off, Jessica said “Mama . . .”

Mrs. Jones turned around to face her. Jessica eyed the floor and then lifted her head and said, “Thank you, Mama.”

Her mother gave her a light smile and a nod and walked down the hall to prepare her room.

Since Jessica had to be at the parole office in the morning she turned in early so she could check in with him in midtown Manhattan. She vowed that she would do whatever it took to keep her nose clean and not go back to prison. As she lay in bed that night, all she could think of was hitting the streets the next day to search for her brother.

**********

After she met with her parole officer, she was basically told to check in monthly, stay out of trouble, and to find a job.

“One last thing. If you violate any conditions of your parole at any time, you will be arrested and will have to finish out the six months you owe the state. Do you understand?”

Jessica nodded and was out of his office in five minutes.

When she arrived back uptown she walked aimlessly through the streets of Harlem in search of her brother Jordan. She searched for hours and finally gave up hope of finding him that day, deciding to go home and try again tomorrow. When she got to her building she saw a group of guys tossing another man around and to the ground. The closer she got the more familiar the man on the ground had become—it was Jordan. She gritted her teeth and rushed to his side and pushed the men off of her brother.

“Get the fuck off of him!” she yelled. All the boys backed off as they watched the tall pretty girl help their victim to his feet. She took him by his arm and began leading him up the stoop stairs when one of the boys blocked them from entering the building.

“Oh, hell, no,” said the man as he held up his hand. “This nigga ain’t going anywhere until he pays me my fuckin’ money.”

Jessica looked at the man, then at her brother and asked, “You owe them any money, Jordan?”

He nodded his head, too ashamed to face her.

“How much you owe him?” Jessica demanded.

“Twenty dollars,” he answered shyly.

Jessica reached in her pocket and pulled out a wad of money and found a twenty-dollar bill and shoved it in the man’s chest and said, “Take this shit.” She looked him square in the eye. “Now you are paid, so you better leave my brother alone,” Jessica said, never losing eye contact with him.

“Well, twenty dollars is not enough. I put interest on it so he owes me double.”

Jessica stepped closer to the man and said point blank, “That’s all the money you getting, so if you want more you are gonna have to take it.”

The man was caught off guard by the challenge and didn’t know what to say. Jessica knew from her experience in jail that he was just a talker and wasn’t a gangster. She decided to make it clear to everyone around. “This here is mines right here. If I find out you selling him any more of your drugs or trying fuck with him y’all gonna have to fuck with me and I’m ready to die for this shit. This is the building where my mother stays and I’m staying here now, too. Tomorrow, I don’t want to see none of y’all selling your shit in my building, and if I do I’m either going back to jail or you will. Make your choice.”