Authors: Martina Cole
At least she had sent the boys to a good Catholic school, run by Jesuits; that meant they had a chance of getting away from her. That had been the hardest thing to accept: being separated from her son’s children, her blood relatives. Not to be able to see them or talk to them had been a form of torture in itself, especially for her husband. He had adored those lads as much as she had.
She realised that Big Lenny had finally gone to his great reward and, drying her tears, she set about putting a rosary into his hands. She wiped his face with a damp flannel and tried to brush down his unruly hair. At least he would have the comfort of being with his son, and she would bide her time until it was her turn to go to them. She had nothing now, no one to call her own. The knowledge frightened her. How would she live without human contact? It had been hard enough when Big Lenny had been by her side, but he had become like a child to her. Looking after him had brought a focus to her days. Now it would be just her and her alone.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see the priest, Father Gordon, smiling down at her. God was good. No matter what happened she would always have the church.
‘Come away now, Lesley, and we will get you a cup of tea.’
The nurses were grateful to him for taking her away so they could deal with her husband’s body. Standing up, Lesley kissed her husband’s forehead and meekly followed the priest to the hospital canteen. It occurred to her that the funeral was yet to come, and that would show her just how alone she really was.
‘I am pushing, for fuck’s sake!’
Ray Donovan was deeply regretting being present at the birth. Sharon was irritable in the extreme and he felt that he was getting in the nurse’s way. But he plastered a smile on his face and tried to look as if he was enjoying the experience. He had no idea how brutal and bloody giving birth was. Real life was nothing like it was on the TV where the women had full make-up on and smiled serenely. He had never heard language like this coming out of Sharon’s mouth before. She was sweating like a pig and he was well aware that he was getting on her nerves, but what could he do? She had refused the pethidine and was on gas and air; and every time she was about to scream another obscenity he was covering her mouth up with the breathing apparatus – and that was making her even angrier. If he was honest, he could do with the fucking pethidine himself!
The midwife was a nice lady, a big Jamaican woman who stood no nonsense from either of the nurses or her charge. ‘Come on now, Sharon. A few more pushes and your baby will be here.’
Sharon was glowering at her but the midwife was not taking a blind bit of notice. He felt Sharon tensing up and knew another big contraction was on its way. She was squeezing his hand as she bore down, sounding like a dog in pain as she tried to squeeze this new life out of her body.
‘You’re crowning, girl! I can see the head coming.’
Sharon was panting once more and getting ready for another big push. When the child’s head emerged, Ray Donovan understood why women gave birth and not men. No man would do this more than once. Once she heard the baby cry, Sharon laughed with delight and demanded to know if it was all right. It was as if all the hours of labour had been nothing.
The cord was cut and tied and the child was wrapped in a blanket. It was covered in vernix and blood and he had never seen anything so incredible before in his life. He had a daughter – a beautiful, red, angry-looking, screaming daughter – and, as she was placed in his arms, he felt a rush of love so intense he thought he would actually pass out. Never before had he felt such emotion. He showed her to Sharon, who was laughing and crying at the same time.
‘Oh, Ray, she’s beautiful! Give her to me.’
He watched as his Sharon gazed at their child and didn’t even murmur as they put in a few stitches. The whole experience had been a complete awakening for Ray Donovan. He looked at Sharon as she cradled their child, and he felt he could never love her more than he did at this moment.
‘Kathleen. Kathleen Donovan. What do you think, Ray?’
He smiled his agreement. She had a head of black hair like his, and startling blue eyes like her mother.
‘Kathleen it is, darling.’
The afterbirth had been one step too far for him – especially when it was mentioned that in some cultures it was actually eaten. Thank fuck Sharon wasn’t peckish; he could not have coped with that. It was a messy business this giving birth, but it was also a miracle. He would go to Mass with his mum and Ivy later and give thanks for this safe delivery. They were keeping her in for twenty-four hours, so they would be home with him tomorrow and he could look after them both properly. He was impressed with Sharon, and so pleased that her travail was over. He knew that one day they would look back on this and laugh at her antics.
When he finally took his leave of his daughter he knew that life had changed irrevocably. This was the day he had officially become a father. It was a good feeling.
Jack Johnson was listening with half an ear as Ray described the birth. Reggie was all ears, apparently genuinely interested in the blood and gore; Jack wasn’t that enamoured with women’s shit, personally, but he laughed out loud as he heard Ray saying seriously, ‘Honestly, guys, if someone on the street put you through that much pain and suffering, you would want them to get ten years!’
‘Women’s work, Ray. My old mum used to say, if men had the first child and women the second, there would never be a third!’
Ray grimaced as he said in disgust, ‘Wouldn’t be a fucking first! I don’t know how they do it!’
Reggie grinned. ‘I delivered my own little brother. I was fascinated by it.’
Jack and Ray exchanged worried glances and Jack broke the mood by saying loudly, ‘So, are we agreed then? I will put in an offer for the Carlton brothers’ loans and bets? They ain’t coming home for a fucking long time – their probation officer ain’t even been born yet! Poor fuckers. Definitely a grass there, I reckon. But, either way, it adds to our holdings.’
Ray laughed with delight. ‘I don’t see a problem myself. Do you, Reg?’
Reggie shook his head slowly, but he didn’t look too convinced.
Jack noticed and said seriously, ‘You have any reservations, Reg, then you should share them with us.’
Reggie sighed deeply. ‘Honestly? The Carltons have a big family network – cousins, et cetera, the whole fucking shebang. I think they will want to leave it in the hands of the family. I would, wouldn’t you? Both of them have families that still need to be taken care of. If they get a huge lump, they will want ongoing businesses, not a one-off sum. The court costs at the Bailey will be the national debt alone. By the time they have bumped a judge for a guaranteed sentence they will be practically boracic. That, Jack, is
my
worry. I don’t think it will be quite as cut and dry as you seem to think.’
Ray could see the logic of what Reggie was saying but he also knew that Jack didn’t like the Carlton brothers in the least. He saw them as boors and bullies, which they were. Ray was well aware, though, that Jack had set his heart on taking over from them.
‘Fuck them and their extended family.’ Jack’s voice was hard now. He had never liked to be contradicted even though he asked for honesty from his entire workforce, no matter how high or how low.
Ray looked askance at Reggie and then waited for Jack to speak again. Ray could see what Reggie was saying and he thought he had made a very valid point.
‘I want those fucking businesses. And the sooner you pair realise that, the better. This is not about asking, it is about
demanding
. Those pricks are gone for the duration, no matter how much they weigh out for a reduced sentence. The Crime Squad wants them because they were stupid enough to take out a Filth. Even a bent Filth is still one of the blue line, and they were cunts if they didn’t remember that. As for the family members, if you put all their IQs together they would be hard pushed to write their own names and addresses! Fuck them.’
Reggie and Ray shrugged nonchalantly. Jack Johnson had spoken and he was the main man.
‘We’d better get planning then, Jack.’
Jack smiled at Reggie; this was what he wanted to hear. Ray agreed that Reggie had more than a point and that Jack Johnson, old war horse that he was, should have given what he said more consideration. He might not like the Carlton brothers but they were still a force in South London, and they had their creds. But all they could do was go along with what Jack wanted – that, unfortunately, was the way of their world.
Reggie tried one last time. ‘Well, we can but try.’
This was not what Jack wanted to hear, but he overlooked it because, deep down, he too knew that there was an element of truth in what Reggie had said.
Kathleen Donovan was a good child and she was an outstandingly beautiful baby. It had surprised and pleased Sharon that even her older brothers were enamoured of her – especially young Lenny. He would hold her for hours and just gaze down at her in abject amazement. He would ask questions about babies, and be genuinely interested in Sharon’s answers.
Sharon knew that his daughter’s effect on the boys pleased Ray no end. He made even more of a fuss of them than usual to compensate for the new arrival. All her worries were gone and she was determined just to enjoy her new daughter, who she was absolutely thrilled with.
Ray, her darling Ray, was even more besotted than she was. He was fascinated with the different aspects of child rearing and he was making a point of getting home as soon as possible so he would not lose any time with this new daughter of his. The fact that his mother was as mad on the child as he was seemed to be the icing on the cake. He worshipped his mother and Sharon had to admit she was easy to be around. Unlike Lenny’s mother, who had pushed her way in, Annie was quite happy to just be there and do whatever was required.
Ray was still concerned for Sharon’s welfare even though she felt fine. He seemed to think that what she had gone through, what he called her ‘travail’, had been far more taxing than she was letting on! But she loved him even more for this caring of her and his family, because that is what they were – a wonderful family. She thanked God for him every day of the week.
‘Dad? Is it still OK for you to take us to football and that?’
Liam was worried that, now his sister had arrived, they would not be able to do as much stuff as usual. Not that he minded – he loved the little thing – but he liked his clubs and he would be quite happy to find his own way to wherever he needed to go. Like his brother, he was chomping at the bit to get a touch more freedom from his mum and dad.
Ray smiled understandingly. ‘Nothing will change, Liam. I promise you.’
Sharon was listening quietly, waiting to hear what was being said.
Liam tried again. ‘The thing is, I am quite happy to get the bus or trains, like. So is Lenny.’
Sharon saw Ray stifle a smile as he said forcefully, ‘No, that’s all right, son. I will still accompany you, don’t you worry about that.’