Get a Clue (6 page)

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Authors: Jill Shalvis

BOOK: Get a Clue
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“Oh!” she spit out. “You are so not a nice man!”
“Are you sure? Because a minute ago you couldn't get enough of me.”
“Let me up!”
Enjoying not only the squirming, but the lovely, warm feel of her butt rubbing against his crotch, Cooper did no such thing.
“I said, let me go!”
Grinning down at her, he easily held her against him. “Not until you say ‘thank you, Cooper, for saving my life.' ”
“You didn't save my life!”
“But you wanted me to.”
She stared at him. “I can't believe you can walk through a door with your head as swollen as it is.”
And it wasn't the only thing on him swollen, either. Her fidgeting was having another effect on him entirely, and given the way she went suddenly still, she knew. “
What do you have in your pocket?”
she demanded.
He let his grin speak for itself.
She ground her teeth together. “You. Are. Impossible.”
“You're the one wriggling around.” But careful to mind her knees and where she put them, he let her go.
Jerking to her feet, she yanked down on the sweatshirt, which fell to her thighs and covered too much of her.
His own fault, but it didn't matter what she wore because he knew what lay beneath—a thin white tank top sans bra that outlined her breasts and mouthwatering nipples in such a way that he'd nearly swallowed his own tongue. And then there'd been those tiny panties—
“Whatever you're thinking about,” she said shakily, backing away to walk back around the table to her chair. “Stop. Stop it right now.”
“Why?”
She reached for her glass of wine, her hand shaking. “Because I'm on my honeymoon, remember?”
“You didn't get married today, remember?”
“Yes. I do remember that part,” she said softly, face averted.
Ah, hell. He was an ass, especially since he knew how she felt. He'd also once had a woman walk away from him.
Only at least he'd seen it coming. Annie had chafed long and hard beneath the impossible hours Cooper had put in on his job. She'd broken under the strain only six months before he had, but she'd been long gone by the time he'd been free.
It no longer mattered, though, because he still deeply resented how she'd never accepted that part of him. In fact, few had. “Look,” he said more gently, “consider it this way. The guy's an idiot for letting you get away.”
She snorted her agreement and poured herself more wine.
“And anyway, in the long run, he did you a favor.”
“Yeah? How's that?”
“He left you free to take advantage of the next best thing to come along.”
She regarded him for a long moment, her bitterness and sadness draining away, replaced by a reluctant smile. “You know, just when I think you're part of my worst nightmare, you go and say something almost human. And definitely profound.”
He smiled and lifted his glass in a silent toast.
“Days and days,” she murmured again after another long sip. “Can you imagine?”
“It could be worse.”
“How?”
“You could be stuck here with your ex.”
She rolled her eyes. “You're very helpful tonight.”
“I try.” He dug back into the cheese and crackers, and was well on his way to filling his rumbling belly when something hit him on the nose and landed on his plate.
A grape.
“What was that?” he asked.
She looked it over. “I believe it's a grape.”
“I can see that, smart-ass. I'm wondering why it was bouncing off my nose.”
“Gee, I haven't a clue.” Looking as if she felt a great deal better, she rose. “Good night,” she said loftily, and grabbing her plate and the bottle of wine, headed toward the door, where she'd undoubtedly go sit in front of the warm, toasty fire while he climbed the dark stairs and had to light his own and wait for it to heat the room, hoping it did so before his balls froze off. “'Night,” he muttered, watching her curvy little bod practically quiver with her superiority. “Sleep tight. Oh, and . . .” He paused for effect. “Don't let the monsters bite.”
Her step faltered but she recovered, and with that pert little nose thrust high, kept going.
Seven
Don't expect a man with a hard-on to be able to think; he doesn't have enough blood to run both heads.
—Breanne Mooreland's journal entry
Breanne kept her nose in the air until she left the formal dining room and found herself in the dark with nothing to guide her except for a faint glow from far down the hallway.
The fire from inside the great room.
Or so she hoped, anyway. She wished now she'd brought that vibrator as a flashlight instead of leaving it on the couch. Standing there all alone with the huge mansion surrounding her, the corners and far reaches unknown, she felt her belly quiver unpleasantly. “You're a big girl,” she whispered to herself, and holding her plate and bottle of wine, took a tentative step toward the orange glow. “A big girl who's calm in the face of adversity.” Another step. “A big girl who doesn't believe in haunted houses or monsters—”
Something creaked, probably just the house, but she jerked as if shot, then thought,
the hell with this
. She burst into a run, her wet boots squeaking, wine jostling, grapes flying, skidding to a halt just inside the great room. Panting, she shut the doors, then leaned back against them.
In front of her, the fire crackled. The downy-soft leather couches looked inviting. Perfect for snuggling up on a night like this. She pushed away from the doors and headed toward them.
Halfway there, the doors opened behind her, and with a startled gasp she whipped around, dropping both the plate and the bottle of wine.
“Just me,” Shelly said quickly. “Sorry.”
Right, just Shelly. Because there were no boogeymen or monsters anywhere in this house.
Shelly crouched down to help pick up the dropped plate. “You okay?”
“Sure.” Except now the wine had spilled. She really could have used the rest of that bottle. “Sorry about the mess.”
“Don't worry about it. It's not my usual fare, anyway. Trust me, once the power comes back on and I feed you, you'll think you've died and gone to heaven.”
“I'll look forward to that.” She looked up when another woman appeared in the doorway.
“Breanne, this is Lariana,” Shelly said. “She's the maid here.”
Lariana was not petite like Shelly or average like Breanne, but a tall, curvaceous, exotic creature, the kind women envied and men killed for. She wore tight black trousers and a white Lycra satin blouse with the top and bottom buttons undone, emphasizing her tiny waist and huge boobs. These were thrust forward due to her five-inch stiletto heels that had Breanne both envious and wincing at the thought of being on them all day long.
“Welcome,” Lariana said. She had a beautiful Latin complexion and dark hair piled up on top of her head, with long strands artfully drifting free. She was incredibly beautiful and yet somehow also incredibly intimidating at the same time. “I have a warm bedroom for you upstairs,” she said to Breanne, her voice soft, cultured, and slightly accented. Though she couldn't have been more than a few years older than Breanne, she spoke with far more elegance and grace.
Feeling sloppy and out of place, Breanne tugged at Cooper's sweats. “Did the heat kick on? We have electricity?”
“No,” Lariana said regretfully. “But I started a fire for you in an upstairs bedroom.”
“Which means no freezing to death tonight,” Shelly said. Her smile faded at a long look from Lariana. “What? That's good news, right?”
Lariana didn't roll her eyes, nothing so obvious, but Shelly still looked chastened. “Yeah, um . . . How about that snow, huh? Crazy stuff.”
Lariana shook her head and moved through the room, scooping up Breanne's wet sweater and jeans, holding them up with two fingers as if they were dirty instead of just wet. “I'll get these washed.”
“Oh, no, that's not necessary,” Breanne said, feeling as if she should have cleaned up for the maid.
“It is part of your service.” Lariana's expression was perfectly even, and perfectly lofty. “Where is your groom?”
“He's . . .” The hell with it. “He dumped me.” She waited for some sign of superiority from Lariana.
But the maid dropped her icy expression immediately. “Men are such scum,” she said with feeling. “Bottom feeders. Every last one of them.”
“Not
every
last one,” Shelly said quietly. “Some are good.”
“Take off the rose-colored glasses, Pollyanna,” Lariana said.
“So I'm hopeful—so what?” Shelly lifted her chin. “She'll find another man. A
better
one.”
“No, thank you,” Breanne interjected. “No more men.”
“Ever?” Lariana asked, intrigued.
“Ever.”
Lariana didn't look convinced. “They
are
scum, but once in a while, they are good for a
few
things . . .”
Breanne picked up the vibrator, waggled it. “Anything that this can't take care of?”
Shelly gasped, but Lariana burst out laughing. “I have extra batteries, when you need.”
Shelly looked scandalized. And desperate to change the subject. “I still can't believe Edward messed up and booked two of you for the same week.” She tossed a big log onto the fire. “He never messes up.”
Lariana snorted her opinion of that, and when Shelly looked at her, more unspoken communication passed between them. “I need to get back to the kitchen,” Shelly said.
“You do that.” Lariana moved to the fireplace. “You can't just add a piece of hard wood, Shelly—it'll die. You have to put in some kindling, too.”
Shelly ignored her and joined Breanne by the couch. “Don't let her intimidate you while I'm gone,” she whispered as they both watched Lariana handle the fire like a pro.
“She is pretty intimidating,” Breanne admitted.
“It's all an act. You should have seen her the last time Edward yelled at her. She cried.”
“Edward yells at you guys?”
Shelly laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “Just remember, she's human. I mean, she's sleeping with Patrick, for God's sake.”
“Patrick?”
“Our fix-it guy.”
“Does he clink spookily when he walks?”
Shelly grinned. “Aye, mate, that he does,” she said in perfect imitation of Patrick's accent.
Breanne looked back at the cool, classy-looking Lariana poking at the fire and tried to picture her with the tall, skinny, almost gangly, redheaded Patrick. “Are you
sure?

“Oh, yeah.”
Lariana rose, and with Breanne's clothes over her arm, moved toward the door, picking up the carry-on as well. “Please follow me, Ms. Mooreland.”
“Breanne,” Breanne said, but Lariana was already gone.
Unless she wanted to say good-bye to her bag and everything in it, she didn't have much choice but to follow Lariana out into the pitch-black hallway. Ahead of her, the maid moved quickly and briskly, her heels tapping as she pulled a flashlight out of nowhere to light their way.
They came to a fork in the hallway.
“Down that way is the movie theater, with thousands of DVDs to pick from,” Lariana said, sounding like a tour guide. “On the other side is the gym, complete with sauna and indoor pool, and if you want, Shelly is also an excellent masseuse.”
“I don't think I'll be staying long enough to enjoy those things,” Breanne said, not having missed Cooper's non-committance about leaving. If he didn't, she would.
“Are you going to let a bottom feeder ruin a perfectly good vacation?” Lariana asked coolly.
“It's not just that. I just . . . don't think I should have come.”
“Did this almost-groom of yours cover the costs of being here?”
“Yes.”
Lariana smiled coldly. “Then you should enjoy it.”
They took the stairs, this time without the comfort of the light sconces casting a warm glow over the hardwood floor and interior walls. The flashlight lit the way but didn't do much for Breanne's mental health, as it created as many shadows as it chased away. At the top, Breanne was breathing erratically, and wasn't at all sure it was just the altitude bothering her.
Lariana opened the first door on the right. Her thin beam of light revealed an open-beamed ceiling and hardwood flooring with several throw rugs. There was a stone hearth, lit, crackling cozily. The four-poster, raw wood, tiered bed had a matching dresser and an oval mirror hung over it. Lariana moved to the dresser, on which was a tray with lit candles. She carried a few to the two wide-framed windowsills, the dark glass revealing nothing but black sky.
“There's a down comforter,” Lariana said, pointing to the fluffy cover folded at the foot of the bed. “There's also an attached bathroom that's shared by the bedroom on the other side, but that bedroom is empty.”
They both looked at the closed door. Breanne was half hoping the maid would open it and check for the boogeyman, but she wasn't about to ask and apparently Lariana wasn't much of a mind reader. “There aren't any baskets of accessories in there, are there?”
Lariana didn't blink. “Did you want a basket of accessories?”
“No!” Breanne said, thinking about the pink vibrator she'd left downstairs. “I'm good.”
“Well, then. I'm going to make sure our other guest is comfortable. Good night.”
Their other guest. One sexy, irritating Cooper Scott, who was right now all cozy in
her
honeymoon suite.
The moment Lariana cleared the doorway, Breanne locked the door. Then she stood there, looking around. Feeling alone. It occurred to her that if Edward hadn't screwed up, Cooper wouldn't even be here. She might be even more alone.
She was glad she wasn't, a fact she'd admit out loud only upon threat of death, and maybe not even then.
Braving the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and moisturized her face. A silly thing to do while in the haunted house of terrors, but the routine made her feel better.
Moving back into the bedroom, she glanced uneasily at the candles. There were five of them, three burning very low already. Would the other two last until daylight, and if not, what would she do?
One thing was certain, the next time she traveled, she was leaving the sexy nighties at home and packing a flashlight. And chocolate. And alcohol.
Lots of it.
Even though the room had indeed warmed up nicely, she climbed into the bed still fully decked out in Cooper's sweats. The bedding was lush, thick, and combined with the fire, she was cooking in less than two minutes. Swearing softly, she got out of the bed and went to her carry-on, pawing through it as if by some miracle she might find something else to wear. No such luck. She pulled out the siren-red teddy she'd gotten at her shower. See-through lace, high cut on the thighs, nearly nonexistent over the breasts, it hadn't been made for sleeping, that was for sure. It'd been made for her groom to say, “Looks great, baby, now take it off.”
And just like that, self-pity welled up hard and fast, swelling her heart, filling her throat so that she could hardly draw a breath. She'd managed to keep it all at bay for hours and hours, but now there was nothing distracting her but her own pathetic thoughts.
Somehow she'd screwed everything up. Again. Truthfully? She'd blown just about every opportunity she'd ever been offered. With only so-so grades in high school—she'd thought grades didn't matter, she had Barry, ha!—she'd ended up at a junior college, with no idea of what to do with herself. She'd made her way through a string of go-nowhere jobs, and also a string of go-nowhere men, including fiancé number two.
And then Dean had come along.
She'd found him smart and cool under pressure, two traits she greatly admired because she wished she had more of each. With a single smile he'd swept her off her feet, despite the warning voice deep inside that said he wasn't the one, that said he didn't love her the way she wanted to be loved, that said she'd only get hurt in the end.
Her inner voice had been right. He
hadn't
been the one, he
hadn't
loved her the way she'd wanted to be loved, and she
had
gotten hurt.
Or at least humiliated.
Tossing aside the red lace, she reached for her Palm Pilot and made a new entry.
To Do list:
1.
Live down expensive wedding that didn't happen
2.
Find new job so you don't have to ever face Dean again
3.
Hurry on #2 because you're broke due to #1
She read the words, then nodded and tossed the thing back in her bag. Now that she had a plan, maybe she could sleep. Sure, she'd have to face the mess that was her life in the morning, but not before then.
Still too hot, she pulled out the second nightie, a creamy white silky camisole and short set, made of staggeringly expensive silk. The top had spaghetti straps and dipped low between the breasts, and the bottoms uncovered more than they covered, but they'd be soft against her skin, and wouldn't itch.
Double checking the lock on both the bedroom and bathroom doors was a small gesture that made her feel marginally better as she stripped out of the sweats, and then her still-damp tank and panties. She put on the silk pj's that had been meant for show only, which was ridiculous when she thought about it. Surely women ended up being ditched on their honeymoons with some regularity. You'd think they'd make these things more practical.
She slid back into bed. Given how badly her life had gone today, and the new and unknown path she'd be taking from this day forth, she'd figured she'd lie there forever, stressing and obsessing, but the minute her head hit the soft, giving pillow, she sighed again, and drifted off . . .

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