Gertie's Leap to Greatness (20 page)

But Gertie was not, had never been, and would never be like most kids. She leaped up and climbed onto her chair, bringing her hands together hard. Because in the end, as always, Gertie was exactly like herself.

 

EPILOGUE

Glory, Glory, Glory

The bullfrog crouched beneath the Zapper-2000. He was waiting for a bug to fly into the big blue beacon and have the everlasting daylights zapped out of it.

Fried flies for me,
the bullfrog sang.
Baked buggies. Cooked little critters. Glory, glory, glory.

The yellow bus—Mr. Monster Frog-Squisher—squealed to a stop in front of the house. The frog-grabber girl ran across the yard, sandals kicking up dust.

“Give 'em hell, baby!” boomed a voice.

The girl leaped into the bus's belly. She'd be back, he knew. She always came back. But he was safe for now.

He gazed up into the blue beacon. Zombie Frog was home, which was perfect.

 

About the Author and Illustrator

Kate Beasley
holds a Masters in Writing for Children and Young Adults from the Vermont College of Fine Arts. She lives with her family in Claxton, Georgia, with two dogs, one parrot, lots of cows, and a cat named Edgar.
Gertie's Leap to Greatness
is her first novel. You can sign up for email updates
here
.

 

Jillian Tamaki
is a Canadian illustrator and comics artist living in Toronto, Ontario. She is the creator of two books of personal works (
Skim
and
This One Summer
, with Mariko Tamaki) and the ongoing webcomic,
SuperMutant Magic Academy
. You can sign up for email updates
here
.

 

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Contents

Title Page

Copyright Notice

1 •
A Monstrosity of Science

2 •
You're in My Seat

3 •
Squish

4 •
What's a Mary Sue Spivey?

5 •
Nope

6 •
Upset About North Dakota

7 •
With a
G

8 •
That Superior Smoothness

9 •
No Way You Could Be Born on Krypton

10 •
Who Wants to Go Next?

11 •
Well Done, Gertie

12 •
There's
Right
and Then There's
Right

13 •
People Are Fickle

14 •
Delilah

15 •
Oh, Junior

16 •
A Very Good Opportunity

17 •
What Happens to the Junk Food?

18 •
I Loathe Peas

19 •
A Potato
Never
Quivers

20 •
I Won't Tell

21 •
It's at Six

22 •
How
Will
I Carry On?

23 •
Ger-tie! Ger-tie! Ger-tie!

24 •
Everybody Messes Up

25 •
You Stupid Ham Hock!

26 •
More Bath Tissue

27 •
I'm Fatty and Delicious

EPILOGUE
Glory, Glory, Glory

About the Author and Illustrator

Copyright

 

Farrar Straus Giroux Books for Young Readers

175 Fifth Avenue, New York 10010

Text copyright © 2016 Kate Beasley

All rights reserved

First hardcover edition, 2016

eBook edition, October 2016

mackids.com

The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

Names: Beasley, Kate, author. | Tamaki, Jillian, 1980– illustrator.

Title: Gertie's leap to greatness / Kate Beasley; with illustrations by Jillian Tamaki.

Description: First edition. | New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2016. | Summary: “Gertie is a girl on a mission to be the best fifth grader ever in order to show her estranged mother that Gertie doesn't need her—not one bit!”— Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2015030871 | ISBN 9780374302610 (hardback) | ISBN 9780374302627 (e-book)

Subjects: | CYAC: Abandoned children—Fiction. | Mothers—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Family / General (see also headings under Social Issues). | JUVENILE FICTION / Humorous Stories.

Classification: LCC PZ7.1.B433 Ge 2016 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

LC record available at
http://lccn.loc.gov/2015030871

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eISBN 9780374302627