Genuine Lies (53 page)

He sat beside her, rubbing fingers at the base of her neck, knowing instinctively where the bulk of the tension would be lodged. “Don’t you think she was scared too?”

Carefully, aligning the base of the cup with the rim of the saucer, she looked up. “I’m afraid I can’t really think about her feelings yet.”

“I love you both.”

She saw now what she hadn’t been able to see before. He’d been as shocked as she, and perhaps nearly as hurt. He was hurting still, for both of them. “Whatever becomes of all this, she’ll always be more your mother than she could ever be mine. And, I guess, since we both love you, we’ll all have to find a way to deal with it. Just don’t ask me to be reasonable tonight.”

“I won’t. I will ask you something else.” Taking her hands he drew her to her feet. “Let me love you.”

It was so easy, so simple, to move into his arms. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Upstairs, the bedroom was draped in shadows. She lit the candles while he drew the shades. Then they were alone in the half light, a lovers’ light. She lifted her arms to him in a gesture of welcome, and of need.

He took her in, understanding without being asked that she needed to reaffirm her life, to take back her sense of self. So when she fit her body to his, tilted back her face, offered her mouth, he took gently, he took slowly, wanting her to remember every moment.

With long, moist kisses, he tasted, and her taste was the same. One firm, possessive stroke from waist to hip, and back.
She felt the same. Nuzzling at her throat, he drank in her scent. Beneath that fragile perfume was the unmistakable essence of Julia. That, too, the same.

He would allow nothing to change between them.

The jacket slid smoothly from her shoulders. One tiny button at a time he unfastened her blouse, stepping back so he could see each inch of flesh exposed. That same excitement, that same clutching desire stirred in him as he parted the fabric, let it slip from her shoulders to the floor with a sensual whisper.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” he told her. “Everything I’ve ever needed.” He laid a finger on her lips before she could speak. “No, let me tell you. Let me show you.”

He touched his mouth to hers, teasing, tempting, then taking her deep until she was drunk from the single kiss. All the while he was murmuring things, beautiful things, as his fingers moved lightly, competently, to undress her. The tension in her shoulders began to ease. The fluttering in her stomach changed from that hollow motion of stress to the warming movement of anticipation.

It was magic. Or he was. Here, with him, she could erase the past, forget tomorrow. There was only the everlasting now. How could he have known just how much she’d needed that? In the now there was the feel of tight muscles under her dancing fingers, the perfume of moon-dusted flowers, the first stirrings of hunger.

Lost in him, she let her head fall back, made soft, helpless sounds deep in her throat as his lips trailed down to cruise over her breast.

“Tell me what you like,” he said, and his voice echoed inside her head. “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“Anything.” Her damp palms slid down his flesh. “Anything.”

His lips curved once before he rolled his tongue over the heated point of her breast, caught it between his teeth on that delirious edge between pleasure and pain, drew it into his mouth—hot, firm, fragrant—to suck his fill.

He would take her at her word.

It was as if it were the first time she’d been with a man. She shook her head to try to clear it so that she could give back. But he was doing things to her, wild, wonderful, wicked things to her. She could only shudder at burst after burst of pleasure.

Her head lolled back as she struggled to gulp in air that was suddenly too thick. Her breasts were so heavy, the nipples so hot, that when he flicked his tongue there again, she cried out in astonishment at the good, hard orgasm he gave her.

“I can’t.” Dizzy, she braced her hands on his shoulders as he burned a line down her torso. “I have to—”

“Enjoy,” he murmured, nipping at her quivering flesh. “You only have to enjoy.”

He knelt in front of her, his hands gripping her hips to hold her in place while he dipped his tongue along the juncture of her thighs. He could feel each ripple of sensation that passed through her, and his body was hammered by the same dark delights that rocketed in hers.

She came again, and with a half sob clutched her fingers in his hair to drag him closer. Now her hips were moving, quick as lightning, urging him on. When his tongue speared inside her, she went rigid, stunned by the jolt of heat. Her knees went to jelly. She would have fallen if he hadn’t grasped her hips and forced her upright.

Relentless, he drove her up again, his desire feeding greedily on hers. He wanted—wanted to know her system was a jumble of sensation, that her nerve endings sizzled to the touch, that her appetites matched his.

When he knew, when he was sure, he dragged her down to the floor with him and took her further. Showed her more.

He had to stop. She would die if he stopped. While they tumbled over the rug she clung to him, her body limp one instant, tense the next. She had thought they had given each other all there was long before this. Now she knew there was yet another level of trust. There, in the deep shadows of that room, there was nothing he could have asked of her, nothing she wouldn’t have given willingly.

But before it was done, it was she who asked. She who would have begged. “Please, now. God, I need you now.”

It was all he’d wanted to hear.

With his eyes on hers he brought them together, torso to torso. Slowly, watching the pleasure and confusion flicker in her eyes, he wrapped her legs around his waist. He filled her, inch by trembling inch, until he was plunged deep. Gasping, she reared back, accepting him, absorbing him, enjoying him.

When the first shudders had passed, she came back, bringing her lips to his even as they began to move together. Through the excitement, the passion, the clutching hunger, came a new sensation—one that settled and soothed and healed.

Lips curved, she held him close until there was nothing left but velvet darkness.

Later, much later, when she slept, he stood by the window, looking out at the single light he could see through the trees. Eve was awake, he knew, even as her daughter slept. How could he, a man so firmly tied to each of them, find the way to comfort both?

He went in the side door. Before he had crossed through the parlor with its scent of fading roses to start up the front stairs, Travers was there. She hurried down the hallway to him, rubber-soled slippers flapping.

“This isn’t the time for visiting. She needs her rest.”

Paul paused, one hand on the newel post. “She’s awake. I saw the light.”

“No matter. She needs her rest.” Travers gave the belt of her terry-cloth robe a quick and audible snap. “She’s not feeling well tonight.”

“I know. I’ve spoken with Julia.”

Like a fighter daring a punch, Travers stuck out her chin. “She left Eve in a terrible state. That girl had no right to say such things, shouting and breaking china.”

“That girl,” Paul said mildly, “had a hell of a shock. You knew, didn’t you?”

“What I know is my own business.” Lips folded tight on secrets, she jerked her head toward the top of the stairs. “Just like seeing to her’s my business. Whatever you have to say can wait till tomorrow. She’s had enough grief for one night.”

“Travers.” Eve came out of the shadows, down two steps. She was wearing a long, sleek silk robe in ripe red. Her face was an ivory oval above it. “It’s all right. I’d like to speak to Paul.”

“You told me you’d go to sleep.”

Eve flashed her quick smile. “I lied. Good night, Travers.” She turned away, knowing Paul would follow.

Because he respected loyalty, he spared the housekeeper a last look. “I’ll see that she goes to bed soon.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” With a final glance up the stairs, she walked away, terry cloth swishing, rubber flapping.

Eve waited for him in the sitting room adjoining the bedroom, with its plump cushions and low, inviting chairs. It held the evening’s disorder—discarded magazines, a champagne glass with a few drops going flat and stale, tennis shoes carelessly kicked off, a slash of purple and scarlet that was the robe she’d tossed aside after her bath. Everything bright and vivid and alive. Paul looked at her, sitting in the midst of it all, and realized fully for the first time how much she was aging.

It showed in the hands that suddenly seemed too frail and thin for the rest of her body, in the fine lines that had crept stealthily back around her eyes since her last bout with the surgeon’s knife. It showed in the weariness that coated her face like a thin, transparent mask.

She looked up, saw everything she needed to know on his face, and looked away again. “How is she?”

“Sleeping now.” He took the chair across from her. It wasn’t the first time he had come in here late at night to talk. The cushions were different, the pillows, the curtains. Eve was always changing things.

But much was the same. The scents that he had grown to love during childhood. Powders and perfumes and flowers— all the things that shouted this was a woman’s room, and men were allowed only by invitation.

“How are you, gorgeous?”

The simple concern in his voice threatened to bring the tears back again, and she’d told herself she was through with them. “Angry with myself for doing such a poor job of it. I’m glad you were there for her.”

“So am I.” He said nothing more, knowing she would speak when she was ready, and without his prompting. And because his presence gave her comfort, she talked to him as she would have with few others.

“I’ve carried this inside of me for nearly thirty years, the same way I carried Julia for nine months.” Her fingers were drumming on the arm of her chair. As if even that whispering sound disturbed her, she stopped, letting them lay quiet. “In secret, in pain, and with a kind of despair no man could comprehend. I always thought as I grew older—hell, when I got old—that the memories would fade. The way my body changed, those movements inside my womb. The terrifying excitement of pushing her out of me and into the world. They don’t.” She shut her eyes. “God, they don’t.”

She took a cigarette from the Lalique holder on the table, then ran it through her fingers twice before lighting it. “I won’t deny that I lived fully, richly, happily without her. I won’t pretend that I grieved and mourned every day of my life for a child I held only an hour. And I never regretted doing what I did, but neither did I forget.”

Her tone dared accusations, her eyes flared up at his, waiting for them. He only touched a hand to her cheek. “Why did you bring her here, Eve? Why did you tell her?”

Her fragile composure threatened to shred. She clutched at it, then at his hand. Then she released him, and continued. “I brought her here because there were loose ends in my life I wanted to … knot. It appealed to my sense of irony— maybe my vanity—that my daughter be the one to tie those knots.” She blew out a stream of smoke. Behind its veil her eyes were full of power and purpose in a calm, pale face. “And I needed the contact. I needed to see her, dammit. To touch her, to watch for myself what kind of woman she’d become. And the child, my grandchild, I wanted a few weeks to get to
know him. If I go to hell for that sin, so be it. It’s been worth more than most of the others I’ve committed.” “Did you tell her that?”

She laughed and crushed out the cigarette half finished. “She has a temper, and pride. I didn’t have time to tell her much of anything before she clawed at me. With perfect justification. I’d reneged on the deal, after all. I’d given her away, and had no right to try to take her back.”

She rose to walk to the window. In the black glass she saw her own reflection, like the ghost she felt herself becoming.

“But my God, Paul, the longer I was around her, the more I came to care for her. I could see pieces of myself in her, and pieces of Victor. I’ve never in my life felt such a need for another human being, unless it was a man. I’ve never known such a whole, unselfish love for anyone. Anyone else but you.” She turned back, her eyes wet. “She was the child I couldn’t have. You were the child I always wanted.”

“And you were my mother, Eve. Julia had one of her own. She’ll need time.”

“I know.” She turned away again, feeling the burden on her heart increase. “I know.”

“Eve, why didn’t you ever tell Victor?”

Weary, she laid her head on the glass. “I thought about it, then and a hundred times since. He might have left his wife, you know. He might have come to me, free. As much as he would have loved the child, I wonder if he would ever have forgiven me. I would never have forgiven myself for accepting him under those terms.”

“Will you tell him now?”

“I think that should be Julia’s choice.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Does she know you’re here?” “No.”

“Will you tell her?” “Yes, I will.” “You love her.”

Though it wasn’t a question, he answered. “More than I knew I was capable of loving anyone. I want her, and Brandon. No matter what it takes.”

Satisfied, she nodded. “Let me give you one piece of unsolicited advice. Let nothing stand in your way. Nothing. Least of all me.” She held out her hands, waiting for him to stand and come to her to take them. “I have some things to see to tomorrow. Details. In the meantime, I’m trusting you to take care of her.”

“I intend to, whether she likes it or not.”

“Go back to her, then. I’ll be fine.” Eve lifted her face for his kiss, held on a moment longer. “I’ll always be grateful I’ve had you.”

“We’ve had each other. Don’t worry about Julia.”

“I won’t. Now. Good night, Paul.”

He kissed her again. “Good night, gorgeous.”

When he had gone, she went directly to the phone and dialed. “Greenburg, this is Eve Benedict.” She tossed back her head and picked up a cigarette. “Yes, goddammit, I know what time it is. You can charge me double whatever outrageous rates you lawyers charge. I need you here within the hour.”

She hung up on his protest, then grinned. She felt almost like her old self.