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Authors: M. E. Kerr

BOOK: Gentlehands
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KICK WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE IN SWEET MOUTH
talking about my grandfather that day. After
The New York Record
appeared in Seaville, customers arrived for late breakfast and early lunch carrying copies of the newspaper. De Lucca’s story appeared on the front page, and continued to the second section. Everyone I waited on was discussing it. I didn’t have a chance to read it until the crowd thinned out, around two thirty. Then I picked up a copy someone had left on a table.

In the second section there were four photographs. One was a picture of my grandfather, taken thirty years ago in Argentina. It was easy to recognize the younger version of him, carrying a dog, a pipe in his mouth; his hair was darker.

Two of the photographs were linked together in one frame. At the top was a photograph of a burned house; under it, a picture of a woman.

The caption read:
The house of Carlita Fornez
(below) located outside Havana, Cuba, was destroyed by a firebomb in 1951, purportedly planted by The Jewish Action League. Miss Fornez was killed, but Trenker, the intended victim, survived
.

The fourth photograph was of a young man in uniform. The caption read:
SS Colonel Dr. Werner Renner, chief physician at Auschwitz. Reported to be somewhere in South America. Renner carefully avoided being photographed after he escaped from Germany in 1945
.

There was more about Renner in the article.

Dr. Werner Renner had two passions, stamp-collecting and carving pipes of wood and meerschaum. While some camp physicians had to drink great quantities of alcohol to tolerate their task of selecting those who were to die in the gas chambers, Dr. Renner, on the other hand, a teetotaler, whittled away on one of his pipes and casually pointed to the doomed men, women and children as they passed in review…. It has been rumored that Renner produced meerschaum pipes after the war, which were imported from Turkey, and valued at $5000 and more per pipe.

I remembered the night my grandfather showed Skye his meerschaum pipe. I remembered my grandfather remarking that Mr.
Verner was just an old man who still collected stamps like a boy. My grandfather always pronounced his w’s like v’s. It was not a
Mr
. Verner who called him from time to time. It was Werner Renner.

The article concluded:

Frank Trenker was born into a very strict Roman Catholic family. His father was a bigoted and fanatic man who took a religious oath at the time of his son’s birth, dedicating Frank Trenker to God and the priesthood. He directed his entire youthful education toward the goal of making him a priest, forcing him to do penance over the slightest misdeed. When Frank Trenker broke with the church, he joined the NSDAP. He exchanged Catholic dogma for Nazi ideology, and from 1940 on, his only activities as a member of the SS Death Head units were concerned with concentration camps…. In early 1944, as Allied armies began their drive for Paris, Trenker and Renner began melting down the gold from jewelry and teeth of Auschwitz victims to ship to Swiss banks. At the end of the war both men escaped through Austria into Italy, and ultimately boarded ships bound for Argentina.

When Skye picked me up in front of Sweet Mouth she said, “I have to tell you something, Buddy. There’s an I.N.S. man looking for your grandfather. De Lucca told my father about it.”

“He’s left Montauk,” I said.

“Oh,
no!
Where is he?”

“I don’t know where he is.” I had an idea I
did
know, that the “package” on its way to the Stanton Stamp Shop was my grandfather.

Skye and I began riding around in the Jensen, in the rain, while she talked nonstop about him. “I’ve never heard of anything so gross in my entire life!” she said. “Even Daddy says he has to admire you for sticking by your own in the worst possible circumstances, and anyway, no one’s given your grandfather a chance to deny anything! Daddy says if De Lucca
is
wrong, your grandfather will have one hell of a settlement, and Mummy wants you to know she really doesn’t know anything about De Lucca. She thought all along he might even be investigating
us
, for taxes or some stupid thing. You can investigate
anyone
and come up with
something
!”

I kept watching her in profile, trying to memorize the way she looked, and telling myself maybe I wouldn’t have to, maybe the whole thing would just blow over.

“Og read a case once where a man spent thirty years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit,
Buddy! He looked almost exactly like the real criminal!”

I was thinking if it hadn’t been for trying to impress her, I never would have known him.

If it hadn’t been for Skye, I probably would have been doing a number like my mother, snarling around about what a Nazi he was and praying to God the good name of Boyle wouldn’t ever be linked with his.

“Did you tell him I don’t believe that article, Buddy?” Skye asked me.

“I didn’t have the chance.”

“I wish he
knew
there were people who believe in him.”

“He’ll get by.”

“What about Mignon and Graham?”

“He set Graham free.”

“He took Mignon with him,” she said flatly. It wasn’t a question I had to answer.

“This could ruin his life,” she said.

I didn’t say anything.

“I wish there was something we could do,” she said.

“There isn’t.”

“I know it’s much worse for you, Buddy.”

I didn’t answer.

“If someone I loved was falsely accused of a crime, I’d just die!”

“Yeah.”

“I would, I’d die, because you feel so helpless and there’s nothing you can really do. You have to wait for time to pass and lawyers to do things and all the while you’re hurting so.”

I shouted what I said next. “Cut it out!”

She gave me one quick, wide-eyed stare of alarm and then got ahold of herself again.

“I thought you’d want to talk about it,” she said quietly.

“How long can we talk about it?”

She didn’t answer and I didn’t add anything. We just continued to drive around aimlessly.

Then she tried to change the subject. I knew she was making this big effort to be understanding.

“Connie Spreckles has a new Connie. He came by this morning in it.”

“What’s a new Connie?”

“A new Lincoln Continental.”

“Oh.”

“Everybody calls them Connies.”

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know that.”

“Don’t be sarcastic, Buddy.”

“I just wish you could hear yourself sometimes,” I said.

She clammed up and we kept driving around.

“I don’t know anyone who calls a Lincoln Continental a Connie, that’s all.”

“A lot of people do.”

“Well I’m wrong. I’ve been wrong before.”

“There’s nothing awful about calling it a Connie, either,” she said.

We kept on going.

“There’s a fair at the church,” she said.

“There’s a fair at the church every year.”

“Maybe it would take our minds off this.”

“It’s a kids’ fair.”

“I know it’s a kids’ fair,” she said. “I live out here, too, Buddy.”

“In the summer you live out here,” I said.

“I’ve been coming out here every summer for fourteen years,” she said.

“That’s not living out here,” I said.

“It’s not
not
living out here, either.”

“Okay,” I said, “you live out here.”

I had an idea then. Maybe I got it because I had the feeling things between us were coming to an end, anyway, and why not speed it to its doomed finish? I’d like to say I’d suddenly made the decision to stop wallowing in my misery and start thinking of someone else, like Streaker, but in my right mind I’d never have suggested that Skye come home with me, unannounced, to pick up my brother and take him to St. Luke’s Summer Fair. I didn’t even know if Streaker was there, or if my father would be sleeping.

“I never even knew you
had
a kid brother!” Skye said. “It sounds like a neat idea!”

It wasn’t a neat idea at all. My mother never
liked anyone to see the house until she’d pushed the Hoover around for hours beforehand and taken Endust to all the furniture.

I gave her the directions and we headed up Fireplace Road.

On the way there, I turned on the radio so we didn’t have to talk. There were two speakers in the back of the Jensen, and I turned up the sound so we were flooded with this steady barrage of top tens the local radio station played.

I remembered the day my uncle Ted died, my father told my mother he kept hearing Uncle Ted’s voice in his mind, hearing his laugh, hearing him sing, hearing him tell Irish jokes. That afternoon in the rain, I kept hearing my grandfather. There was no way I could put him out of my mind.

I’d hear him tell me the names of the wildflowers he’d picked were adder’s-tongues, moth mulleins and saxifrages, and then he’d be telling me never to be a weak person. I’d see him leaning back in his chair, saying his life might have been different if he’d met Carla earlier, then explaining to Skye that birds weren’t really free, that they were prisoners of their own territory. Everything came rushing back: the night he tried to teach me how to pour wine, and the night he freed Graham from the steel trap. The meals he cooked for me, and the advice he gave me about clothes. I could see him making coffee mornings
in his black silk robe, and outside by the steps to the ocean, gardening in his old corduroy pants. Then almost as though he was beside me in the Jensen, I could hear him telling me that once I knew something was wrong, I was responsible—“whether you see it or hear about it, and most particularly when you’re a part of it.”

I kept remembering the article, too, trying to tie together the old man who was outraged that animals would suffer because women wanted to wear fur coats…and the young man who played the aria from
Tosca
to torment the Jewish women and girls homesick for Italy, sicking his attack dogs on them for punishment…. Gentlehands, and I could picture his large hands with their long fingers, and watch him reach out and stop a tear rolling down my cheek, the last time we saw each other.

“Here’s your street, Buddy,” Skye shouted above the music. “What number is your house?”

“It’s the little yellow one at the end.”

She turned down the music. “I don’t want to pull in with that awful music blaring away. Will your mother be there? I think I’m a little nervous, Buddy.”

Not as nervous as my mother will be, I thought.

“Is this a good idea, to just surprise her? Mummy hates surprises. She wants everything immaculate
and perfect when she meets new people.”

“Our mommies are different,” I said, but I knew it was probably the only way they were alike.

There was some part of me that even looked forward to the idea of this big disaster number, with my mother trying to control her temper and kick Streaker’s toys under things, and pick up my father’s old copies of
Gun and Badge
from the floor, and dirty coffee cups from the living-room table, forcing herself to smile at Skye all the while…and maybe my father just getting up from a nap in his undershirt, speechless, lighting up a cigar to give himself something to do with his mouth and his hands.

The Toyota was gone. That meant my father was, too.

“Wait a
minute
, Buddy!” Skye said, as I pushed down on the door handle. “Let me comb my hair.”

“You look fine,” I said. “Nobody else will be all in blue.”

“Why do you say something mean like that? I always dress in one color, it’s my trademark,” Skye said. “What are you trying to do, Buddy?”

I suddenly didn’t know. I sat there with the door of the Jensen halfway open, the rain coming in on my trouser leg, trying to think what I was trying to do, or keep myself from doing.

“My grandfather is Gentlehands,” I said. “I
think I know where he is, and where Werner Renner is, too.”

Skye just looked at me. She was holding her comb. There was a long strand of her soft black hair caught in it. I found one once on my jacket, at my grandfather’s, after she’d left. I’d wrapped it in a piece of Kleenex and tucked it in my pocket, to keep.

“What did you just say, Buddy?”

“I think I know where they are.”

Then I saw my mother running from our house toward us. Her hair was done up in rollers. She had my father’s old yellow slicker on over a pair of jeans, and she had on bedroom slippers.

“Oh, Buddy! Thank God!” Her face was all scrunched up as though she was going to cry.

I started to say, “This is Skye, Mom,” and she cut me off with a wave of her hand. “There isn’t time. I have to get up to Underwood Drive
now
, Buddy!”

“Get in, Mrs. Boyle,” Skye said. “I’ll take you there.”

My mother was already in the backseat.

“It’s Streaker,” she said. “He ran away as soon as your father left for work. He’s up on Underwood Drive.”

“Calm down, Mom,” I said. “It’s only a block from here.”

“Calm down?” she said. “He’s throwing rocks
through all of Mrs. Schneider’s windows, Buddy! He’s wrecking her place!”

My mother’s mascara was running while she sobbed.

“Why would he want to hurt old Mrs. Schneider?” she asked.

EVERY AUGUST AT BEAUREGARD, THEY THROW A
Future Party. Guests are supposed to come dressed as they see themselves years and years away.

All the uniformed waiters wore long white beards, and the maids had on white wigs. Even Peacock pinned angel’s wings on himself.

Mr. and Mrs. Pennington appeared in matching gold suits as citizens of the moon, and the three butterfly dogs were dressed in sequined coats as moonbeams. Og, from neighboring Mars, was in a silver suit.

For a while I watched Connie Spreckles play badminton with Skye. Connie was in a white doctor’s coat, with a stethoscope around his neck. Skye had stuffed her white pantsuit to look pregnant. Rachel was there as the first female president, in a red-white-and-blue Aunt Sam suit. Her brother had come as the first male nun.

I was standing on the sidelines, sipping a fresh lemonade. I’d cut out a question mark from heavy cardboard, which I wore like a sandwich board. Even before he sidled up to me, I could smell De Lucca’s sickly sweet cologne. He was puffing on the fake cigarette, wearing a blond wig.

“How do you like my transplant, Buddy?”

“I never thought of you as a blond.”

“Blonds have more fun.”

“I never thought of you that way, either.”

Then he said, “They got Renner. You probably know that.”

“I read that he’s coming to trial.”

“He was the big fish, anyway,” De Lucca said.

We stood there for a moment watching a waterball game going on in the pool. De Lucca didn’t say anything about the fact the Immigration Service still hadn’t found my grandfather. I think he knew I didn’t want to talk about it. He gave my arm a squeeze before he moved on.

“Your tip about that stamp shop in New York helped pull him in, Buddy. Thanks.”

Then Skye came running up to me, and we hugged as well as we could with those pillows she had tied around her waist between us.

“I hope it’s mine,” I said.

“No child of mine is going to have a question mark for a father,” she laughed. She took a sip of my lemonade, then slipped out of her sandals.

“Race me, Buddy,” she said, and she ran up toward the dunes while I half ran, half walked behind her. She waited for me, and we went over them together, and walked down to the edge of the surf, hand in hand. It was one of those very bright, very hot August afternoons, with almost no breeze from the sea. There were sunbathers everywhere, and a lot of people swimming in the ocean. We walked along silently for a while.

“I’m glad you came,” she finally said.

“I’ve been busy.”

“Oh I know.”

“I have been. We’ve got a new owner at Sweet Mouth.”

“Do you like him?” She didn’t wait for my answer. “I wish you’d brought your suit. We could swim.”

“I can’t stay.”

“Not long enough for some supper?” she said. “Cook’s made Madrilene Ring with Shad Roe she makes only once a year and it’s to die! She does it only for this party.”

“Once a year the firemen play the policemen,” I said, “and it’s tonight. We have a big picnic after.”

“Does your father play?”

“He pitches.”

“How’s Streaker?”

“Busy,” I said. “My mother invents all these
things for him to do to earn money to pay for Mrs. Schneider’s windows.”

“She didn’t like me, did she?”

“She worried that you didn’t like her because she looked so tacky that day.”

“I thought you’d call me.”

“I thought I would, too.”

Skye stopped walking then and dropped my hand. She moved closer to me and touched my face with her fingers. She tried to get me to look back at her while she watched my eyes. When I couldn’t, she kissed my mouth, and I could almost feel the old trembling and pull. I heard her sigh softly.

Then suddenly she pushed me backwards, and I stumbled into the water in my shoes, while she laughed and ran down the hard sand by the surf. I threw off my cardboard question mark and went after her, catching her finally up near the dunes. We wrestled around in the hot sand until we were both perspiring and out of breath. Then we just lay back on the sand, staring up at the few puffs of clouds, laughing and panting at the same time.

We finally walked back to the party. I carried her pillows for her.

“I’ll be leaving in a week,” she said.

“I know.”

“Will you come and say good-bye before I go?”

“Maybe.”

“You won’t,” she said. “I know you won’t.”

“We’ll see.”

“And I won’t write, either, ever,” she said, “but I’ll want to sometimes.”

I handed her the pillows when we reached the back of the pool house. They were the blue-and-white Beauregard ones with the monogrammed
P
’s.

“I’ll leave them here for Peacock. Do you think he’ll be surprised to find my baby back here on the lawn?”

“Nothing surprises Peacock,” I said.

She didn’t walk me to the jeep.

 

I hadn’t driven the jeep since the morning I read the letter from my grandfather in Sweet Mouth. It had stayed in the parking lot with the keys under the front seat. I’d finally told my father I wanted to return it to Montauk, even though there was no one there. He said that he and Mom and Streaker would pick me up in the Toyota on the way to the game and picnic at six that night. They’d be waiting for me way down at the end of the driveway, where the chain was strung across it.

I got to the house around five thirty. The Alfa Romeo was there. I figured the day my grandfather took off, he’d probably taken a taxi to the
Montauk airport, and chartered one of the small planes to take him wherever he was going.

The house was locked. I let myself in with the key on the ring with the car keys.

Somehow, someone else had gotten in ahead of me. There were things strewn everywhere, as though someone had been on a frantic search for something: drawers were pulled out, their contents emptied onto the oriental rug in the living room. Books had been pulled out of the bookcases, tapes, even cups and dishes and silverware had been taken from the shelves in the kitchen and tossed to the floor. Pictures on the wall had been tipped sideways or taken down. Draperies had been yanked off the windows.

I sat down in my grandfather’s chair for a moment and looked around at the mess. My mind must have looked that way inside my head, I thought, with everything I once knew about my grandfather knocked down, tramped across and smashed…. I’d been there so often when music was playing that it took me a moment before the soft sound of a woman singing reached my ears and registered. Then I heard a closet door shut behind me in the bedroom.

“Who’s here?” I asked. I stood up, listening for an answer.

When there wasn’t any, I said, “Is it you?”

It was his car in the driveway, of course. He and I had the only keys. It was he who always put on music.

I wondered if he had arrived just ahead of me, found the house that way, and locked the door after him.

I began walking toward the bedroom, and the music played louder, not just because I was getting closer.

“Is it you?” I shouted again.

The door of the bedroom was half open. I stood there, looking in. I could see more debris on the rug: clothes flung about, a chair knocked over, bureau drawers hanging open, and the music turned up even more.

A punch of fear hit my stomach as I thought of the possibility he’d gone mad and done all of it himself, and then I felt him just inside the bedroom, just behind the door, waiting for me.

I spoke through the crack in the door, wanting to say, “Grandfather, it’s me,” but that wasn’t what I said.

I said, “Gentlehands?”

The door moved. The crack disappeared.

I felt trapped, and to end the awful suspense, I kicked the door wide open with my foot.

A radio fell from the bureau to the floor. I saw Graham leap across to the window, and out through a broken pane.

 

I never did lure Graham down from the tree outside my grandfather’s house. He only watched me with suspicious eyes while I called to him, and backed up higher into the branches of the spruce.

He had done too much to the inside of the house for me to undo, and I didn’t try to keep him out by blocking the open window. I walked through the rooms of the house one last time, stepping over the broken and fallen things.

I knew that it was almost six, and that soon my father and mother and Streaker would be waiting for me down at the end of the driveway.

I had a final look at the view from those windows, at the deep green ocean waters with the whitecaps flecked through them, and the gulls sweeping down with the late-afternoon sun making their wings look pink and silver. The bird feeders had been removed from the railing, but there were still some nuthatches and sparrows hopping around hopefully, and a lone belted kingfisher high in the branches of a fir, watching them.

When I turned around to go, I saw the navy blue cashmere sweater Skye had given me, in a heap on the rug, with the twisted tapes of
Madame Butterfly, La Traviata, Tosca
and
Louise
wound around it. I thought of picking up the sweater to take with me, but I didn’t. I just wanted to leave everything about that summer behind me.

 

THE END

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