Genie Knows Best (24 page)

“Fine by me. Happy ruling.” She hopped out of the chair and swept up Laszlo’s cage. “Don’t forget the gnomes, Kal. They’d make the perfect minions. Oh, and the leprechauns.”

With a quick, meaningful glance at him that Kal wasn’t sure how to interpret, Samantha spun around and strode from the clearing.

Gnomes and leprechauns? Together? He hoped she knew what she was doing—and what
he
was doing because he wasn’t so sure giving Albert this wish was a good idea.

“I’m telling you, we need to go there and help out.” Dirham bounced into Stavros’s office and onto the desk so frenetically that Stavros was worried the little fox was on something. “We’ll round everyone up and get to the island without Albert knowing. Or Kal, either ’cause if Samantha
did
give Albert the lantern, Kal has to protect him at all costs.”

The fox’s back legs narrowly missed the picture of Colette on the next bounce. “We’ll have to convince the trolls to open the marina because Kismet’s out of commission. And the griffins are too big and oxen-like to go in undetected. There have to be a few seaworthy boats to get to the island, but we’ll need to go in quietly.”

Lexy leapt onto the crate by the door. “Maybe the phoenixes can transport a few baskets of gnomes over. We’ll have to discuss the importance of not spontaneously combusting over the water with them first, however.”

“Good point.” Dirham started pacing atop the desk. “Or the
peris
could pair up to carry a few gremlins over.”

“Gremlins?” Stavros shivered. Gremlins were just as bad as villainous mortals. “What for? There’s nothing mechanical on the island for them to destroy.”

“Have you ever seen a bored gremlin, Stavros? They’re worth more than a passel of brownies any day.” Dirham tapped his snout. “But we should get the gnomes and ogres over first. They’re the most knowledgeable about land; they can give us the best insight.”

“Hold up, guys—I mean, guy and vixen.” Stavros stood on his chair. “I hate to put a damper on your community service project, but we can’t do anything for Kal. His magic beats any we have, paws down. If he can’t defeat Albert, there’s no way we can. Besides, his Code doesn’t allow for outside interference.”

“Technically, that’s true, Stavros,” said Lexy, “but, while we may not be able to do anything to Albert or for Kal, there’s nothing to stop us from doing things to where they are. The gnomes would come in handy in that clearing. Gnome holes can be very damaging to mortals’ ankles. Even cause broken legs.”

Dirham’s head bobbed as if he were bouncing, but for the first time that Stavros could remember, the fennec was calm. Almost preternaturally. And focused. And serious. “That could work.”

Stavros scratched the ring of hair around his crown. “But what would that buy us? Ten seconds? I’m sorry, Dirham, Lexy, but we don’t know if they’re still on the island or if they’d even stay long enough for us to get there. Not to mention,
can
the gnomes wreak havoc on Hufaidh? The island’s a law unto itself. We could be setting ourselves up for not only a big fail, but something dangerous. I’m sorry, but I can’t risk the citizens of Izaaz.”

“How can you say that?” Dirham leapt so high he hit the ceiling fan and grabbed the pull chain on his way down, sending a slew of papers flying around the room.

So much for calm.

“Kal and Sam helped you out, Stavros. They helped everyone in town out. Are we going to leave them to fight their battles alone? They’re even saving one of us now when they don’t have to. Doesn’t any of this convince you?”

Stavros rubbed his jaw. It’d been too long since Izaaz had looked as good as it did now, and that was a direct result of Kal and Samantha’s generosity. If not for them, this place would still be two hoofprints away from anarchy. The kits had a point.

Still, it was too dangerous. Survival of the fittest didn’t apply to just mortals. “There has to be something else. Some other way we can help without sending in the troops.”

Dirham let go of the pull cord and landed in a somersault on the desk. Then he brushed off some dust and shook his head. Back in control. “No. There’s no other way. We have to go. They need us.”

“Actually…” Lexy brushed some of the papers off the crate she was sitting on. “There might be another way.”

Stavros and Dirham swung their heads her way in unison.

“We might want to open this.”

“A box?” asked Dirham. “What could possibly be in the box that would help them, Lexy?”

Stavros said the answer along with the vixen as he lifted the lid.

“Hope.”

***

Samantha hurried from the clearing, Laszlo’s cage clutched tightly to her chest. Luckily, the dragon seemed to know she was here to help him and didn’t scorch her. She’d be sure to tell Maille to praise him for being resourceful enough to torch Albert. Pity he hadn’t had enough fire power to damage anything but clothing while at Albert’s mercy.

Where Kal was. And, unfortunately,
he
couldn’t use all the firepower he had.

She hoped her idea worked.

She hoped Kal figured out what she was trying to do. She hoped Albert didn’t until it was too late.

Well, if she couldn’t wish, at least she could hope.

But aside from hoping, she also needed to do. She wasn’t as useless as Albert thought, and if this worked, she was going to love telling him so. But first she had to get back there to watch it play out. Help it along.

She plopped Laszlo’s cage onto the middle of the carpet, then tugged on the carpet’s fringe to get its attention. “I wish for you to take Laszlo home.” Hmmm, apparently she
could
wish, but, sadly, it couldn’t do her any good now because there was no one around to make wishes to.

The carpet wriggled, then rose off the ground, hovering there with the fringe rippling like a centipede. Laszlo squeaked through the bars of his prison at her.

She patted his beak. “You sit still. I don’t want you to go rolling off into the water. The carpet will take you home to your mom and dad where you’ll be safe. I’m going back in there to see what I can do to help Kal.”

Laszlo settled onto the floor of his cage and chirruped again, but he didn’t look happy about it. Truthfully, she wasn’t, either, but she couldn’t leave Kal in there with Albert.

Before she could change her mind, she slapped the end of the carpet and it took off like a galloping horse, fringe flowing behind it like a tail, leaving her alone to face Albert and Kal’s magic.

“You’re sure you want me to bring the entire population of Izaaz here? To this island?” Kal looked at Albert with what he figured Albert would see as awe, but which Kal meant solely as disbelief. He’d dealt with narcissists before, but Albert might actually be Narcissus reincarnated.

“I’m not speaking Greek, genie. Though I presume you could understand if I did?” Albert held his mouth open for a nymph to drop another grape into it. He’d wished for nymphs the minute Sam had left. The request for a gold throne atop a marble dais had come shortly thereafter.

Kal turned away, the sight threatening to make him erupt into either maniacal laughter or fits of revulsion. Just once, he’d love for someone to come up with something entirely new. Samantha had; he’d never had anyone not want to make wishes.

Kal shook his head. He didn’t know what she had up her sleeve, but no matter what happened, Samantha was in the past. She had to be.

“Well, are you going to get working on it?” Albert demanded.

Kal composed himself and turned around. “We need to cover a few of the ground rules, Al—er, master.” Gods, that stuck in his craw. “First, you need to—”

“I don’t need to do a damn thing. I make a wish and you grant it. Got it? And I wish for everyone to show up and bow to their new sovereign.”

Kal took a deep breath, shook out his fingers, and metaphorically shrugged his shoulders. Some people had to learn the hard way.

With a wave of his hand—with the newly minted gold cuff on it, a sign of full-genie status that he couldn’t enjoy—the gates opened and people started dropping out of the sky.

“Kal! We were planning to rescue you!” Dirham was first. After all, Albert didn’t specify
who
he should bring. That’s why Harv was second. Bart third, and Maille right on his heels.

Kal left Maisey back in town; someone needed to watch over the dragonlets.

“You lousy son of a wyrm!” Maille was halfway up the dais before Albert swallowed the grapes.

He started choking.

“I’m going to rip you limb from limb!”

Kal sighed, not even waiting for Albert’s screeched, “Genie!” to turn Maille into a statue.

If only she hadn’t gone on the attack. Subtlety; that’s what was needed here. Subtlety… and strategy. He finally understood what Samantha had been trying to tell him, and it was all he could do not to laugh. Bart, on the other hand, had no such problem. With one look at Maille, the wyvern gave him a double thumbs-up.

“Where are the rest of the beings who live in that dust bowl?” said Albert, waving another nymph forward, this one with the ewer of ambrosia he’d demanded.

Too bad for him that he hadn’t qualified that demand. Sour ambrosia was still ambrosia as far as Kal was concerned.

“They’re coming.” Kal swallowed the
master
he normally would have used. For the first time in his four thousand years, saying that word left a bad taste in his mouth. But not as bad as that ambrosia would leave in Albert’s. Too bad it couldn’t do more, but Kal was forbidden from inflicting injury on his master. And given what he was about to do, he had to at least give Albert a warning. “But if I bring everyone at once, it could sink the island. It was never designed to hold so many.”

Albert flicked his fingernails and looked around. “Yeah, I guess I can see that. Not much to look at, is it?”

Only someone as self-absorbed as Albert would fail to see the beauty in the simplicity of Hufaidh. Hidden by the Djinn in Izaaz when mortals began advancing into parts of the world they shouldn’t have, the island was a paradise very few got to see. Created by the gods as a vacation spot, it contained only basic necessities besides this gathering place: a grove of fruit trees, a pool of spring-fed water, simple but comfortable shelter, and all the privacy one could want.

But now, with Albert here, the place would have to be fumigated before any of the gods would set foot on it again. Kal would make that his second priority once he was vizier. The first would be to round up all of Mayat’s amulets and keep them out of mortals’ hands.

“More, genie. I want more minions.”

Harv snorted but wisely kept his mouth shut. Harv knew how to work an opportunity. And so did Kal. Samantha’s plan was brilliant, and if he played his cards—and his magic—right, he could tell her so.

The first wave of his hand brought the gnomes. The next, the leprechauns. All seven clans, including the ones that didn’t get along.

And it didn’t take long. Just as Samantha had planned. Festwick hurled the first insult, Seamus the first punch. After that, it was a free-for-all.

Dirham ducked behind Kal. “Aren’t you going to stop them?” he asked as a row of reeds got trampled, a sacrilege to those who knew the island’s history.

Kal shook his head. Not only couldn’t he do anything to anyone without the express wish of his master, but he wanted the chaos because, with all of this going on, somehow he was going to get the amulet. At least, that was the plan.

Gods, did he love vanity and self-centeredness. Particularly in one person. Albert was going to ego himself out of an amulet, and hopefully, out of a genie.

O’Malley said something about Finnegan’s mother, which made not only Finnegan go ballistic but the rest of his clan, too. Pots of gold went sailing through the glen, the resounding
thunk
on the cracked skulls adding to the din. Which meant Kal couldn’t hear his new master’s wishes.

He flew a herd of centaurs in next, with Wayne at the head. Wayne took one look at Kal, another at Albert, then at the melee, and got the picture immediately.

Two gnomes went flying into the pileup. That Wayne was a smart one; Kal could always count on him.

Harv trotted over to him. “How long are you going to let this go on?”

“Who says it has to stop?”

“True.” Harv’s antlers split one of the reeds, and he stuck an end in his mouth. “You want to bet on the outcome?”

Kal shook his head. For all the fun Harv was having, Kal was intensely invested in the continuation of the fight.

He brought in Lexy, Stavros, and the trolls next. Orkney and his crew refrained from stomping the ground—probably a good idea, given that the island floated—but they weren’t averse to tripping anyone, centaurs being the most likely targets.

Albert was yelling something in the background.

“Uh, Kal?” Harv’s antler flicked toward the dais behind them. “I think your master wants something.”

“You do? That’s nice.” No way was he turning around.

“Ah.” Harv stuck the reed back between his teeth. “It’s like that, is it?”

“No clue what you’re talking about.”

“’Course not.” He crossed his antlers. “You know, you might want to bring in the gremlins. They’d love to get in on this action.”

“Hey, good idea. Thanks.” Kal waved his hand and it started raining gremlins. The little furballs bounced when they hit the ground.

“No problemo,” said Harv.

With gremlins added to the mix, the melee devolved into utter pandemonium. Dirham managed to trip up Bart, who was dropkicking gremlins into the fight whenever they got tossed out, Wayne and his cronies were playing their favorite whack-a-gnome pastime again, and the leprechauns were twirling their shillelaghs in the trolls’ dreads and yanking. Nothing like a troll hitting the ground, writhing with the pain of an uprooted hunk of hair.

“What about the goblins?” asked Harv. “They’re always up for a good battle.”

“How right you are.” Kal waved his other hand and goblins crawled out of the reeds like ants at a picnic, which set the gnomes off because they considered themselves the masters of those domains. The dwarves Kal brought in next took issue with both the gnomes
and
the goblins, and, pretty soon, chunks of earth were being lobbed all over the place.

“Bit of a sacrilege,” said Harv, wiping a clod of dirt off a hoof.

Kal shrugged. “He wished for this.”

Harv nodded. “How far are you going to let this go?”

They watched a rock sail over the top of the fight and land at the base of the dais. If the dwarves had hit the rock layer, that meant they’d brought their pickaxes. This could go downhill fast. Just what Kal had in mind.

And then he saw something that turned his blood to ice. Sneaking through the outer ring of reeds, showing a flash of color every so often where there was a break in the plants, was a figure in teal-colored fabric. With copper hair.

Sam.

Kal shot a look at Albert before taking a breath. Not one of relief because even though Albert’s horrified gaze was riveted to the now boulder-sized rocks being lobbed his way, it would only take one wrong look to see Samantha circling around behind the dais.

And there wasn’t a damn thing Kal could do about it.

So he did the only thing he could: he kept granting Albert’s wish. He flew in the phoenixes for some blinding flashes to give Sam a better chance of not being seen, and the
peris
to add their good-natured confusion to the scene, flitting around with the trailing ribbons that they’d drop on anything they deemed in need of sprucing up. Given all the divots in the ground, they’d run out of ribbons before the leprechauns would run out of ornery.

“Uh, Kal?” Dirham peeked out from behind his right leg, Lexy from behind the left. “Don’t you think you want to ease up a little? The island can only hold so much.”

An extremely important point.

Right now Albert was safe on his dais. What if everyone else wanted to be safe, too? It’d get awfully crowded up there. Anything could happen.

Perfect.

Kal whisked in more ogres, every griffin in Izaaz, and the two reclusive hippogriffs as well. They weighed as much as six ogres.

Gaelic curses spewed above a barrage of Farsi. Akkadian fought with grunts, and Phoenician diatribes cut off Greek expletives, all of it drowning out the screech in English from behind him.

Kal wanted to turn around to see where Sam was, but then he’d have to listen to Albert. As long as he couldn’t hear the man’s specifics, he wasn’t honor-bound to grant them.

Ah, semantics. How he loved them.

“Uh, Kal?” Dirham stood on his hind legs with his paws on Kal’s knee. “I think I just felt the ground move.”

“That’s what she said,” said Harv.

Kal couldn’t help but laugh, both at the inappropriate comment from Harv that went right over Dir’s head and at the fact that the island
had
moved.

He waved his hand and brought in a herd of karkadanns. Ever elusive and self-governing, the rhinoceros-like beings kept their distance for a reason: they didn’t like anyone—including each other—and every encounter usually erupted in knockout, drag-down fights.

Tonight was no different: two dozen of them charged at once, and the thundering hooves and scattering crowd did what Kal wanted: the island started sinking.

It took about twenty seconds for everyone to realize what was happening, another ten to get over the shock, and by the time they started looking for the highest ground around, the water was sloshing over the gnomes’ knees.

And in one beautiful, almost choreographed movement, they all headed toward the dais.

***

It was over almost too easily. Hundreds of beings converging on a tiny piece of marble where one man sat in supercilious self-importance was the perfect storm.

Kal allowed himself to get swept along with them and kept his eyes firmly downcast. Oh, he was still honor-bound to protect Albert, but the beauty of The Code was that the master’s protection was at the sole discretion of the attendant genie. As long as Albert didn’t die, Kal would be able to argue that whatever he’d done had been enough.

Unfortunately, that meant he had to keep the prick alive. Which was just one more reason to seek him out amid the masses and hoist him off the throne before it was toppled. And if his hand somehow managed to be in Albert’s shirt pocket, well, that would surely be an accident.

Finding Albert’s pocket empty, however, was a disaster of cataclysmic proportions.