Authors: Jennifer Bardsley
Tags: #teen, #young adult, #science fiction, #exploration, #discovery, #action, #adventure, #survival
Never trust a Vestal. We all have secrets. The secrets people don’t find out until after you’re dead are the best kind.
I’m dying there in the grass. I know it finally. Maybe I’m not a survivor after all. I look up into the sky and see Barbelo Nemo blocking the light, holding a gun. Maybe he really is my father. Maybe Lydia really was my aunt.
So maybe I didn’t succeed in patricide after all. Maybe I didn’t put up the ultimate fight. But there is more than one way to fight back. Seth was right about that all along. Sometimes the truth is the best weapon.
Beau knows the truth, because I told him. Vestals aren’t the boss of us. We get to choose.
Just like Ms. Lydia got to choose. She could have left Beau locked in his cell to cook to death, or she could have released him, right before she came out of the villa.
Beau stands there now, right behind Barbelo. Beau picks up the hoe and laughs. I see Beau next to the helicopters.
Right next to Barbelo’s head, hanging crooked from his neck.
The lion-headed snake is before me, and it’s all I see. Every last inch of me is covered in pain, so I focus on that snake.
I’m a survivor, I’ve got good instincts, and I can think for myself.
The last time I saw that snake, I was speaking to it on the villa roof. Now I don’t know where I am. All I hear is beeping, and the soft whoosh of air-conditioning.
“Her eyes are open,” I hear someone whisper.
“Blanca?” somebody asks. Somebody is holding my hand.
“Call the doctor,” the snake says. It takes me another minute or two before I realize that it’s Seth. He stares at me and wipes his eyes.
“It was real,” I whisper.
“What?”
“It was real,” I say again. But I can’t talk anymore because it hurts too much. My throat feels like it’s been ripped to shreds.
“Get her some water,” Cal says.
I turn my head and there he is, talking to a nurse. Cal’s face looks older, grayer somehow. But he’s smiling and crying too.
I’m in a hospital. I can see that now. I look down across the bed, and I’m covered in sheets. Underneath I see bandages and casts. I’m wearing a blue-and-green checked hospital gown.
Blue and green.
“Get it off!” I say hoarsely. I struggle to lift my arm. It’s the only thing that’s not hurting. “Take this off!”
“They didn’t have white,” Seth says. “I asked. Blanca, I promise I asked.”
“I’ll call the head nurse.” Cal springs to his feet. “I’ll try again.”
“No,” I say, fighting to get out the words. “My cuff. Take off my cuff!”
They both look at me, motionless for a second. Then they say “Yes” at exactly the same time.
Seth picks up my wrist and struggles to find the nonexistent clasp. “There’s no opening!”
I’m crying now. I can’t talk and there are tears rolling down my cheeks. I’ll never be free. I’ve come so far, but it still isn’t over. I’ve been sealed for life.
Cal leans over with a cup of water and a straw. The water tastes good on my throat, like everything might be able to be okay after all.
“I’ll find help,” Cal says. “We’ll take that cuff off for you right away. You’re going to be fine, sweetheart. I promise.” When he leaves the room, I hear Cal blow his nose, hard.
Then it’s just me alone with Seth.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“For what?” Seth holds my hand in both of his.
“For being so crazy. For not telling you the truth.”
“Which time?” A hint of a grin floats across Seth’s face. He leans down and brushes his lips against mine in a chaste kiss.
I reach for Seth’s collar and pull him in for something better. Our lips part, and our tongues touch. I’m transported to sunshine, orange trees, and happiness.
“Real or fake?” he whispers when we finally come up for air.
“Real,” I answer. “Definitely real.”
The windows are wide open, and all the lights are on. There are about a million doctors and nurses in my hospital room, and almost everyone is filming me. That’s why Beau’s not here too; he’s still camera shy.
“Are you ready?” Cal asks me.
“Yes, Cal. Of course, Cal,” I say. Then I laugh at my own joke. I don’t mind that nobody else thinks it’s funny.
My arm is lying on pillows, ready and waiting for the surgeon to cut off my cuff with a laser. I was the one who wanted the witnesses.
“Hands up, people,” I say to the crowd. “I want the whole world to see this.”
“But don’t send it to
The Lighthouse
,” Seth adds. “
Veritas Rex
gets first dibs.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” says Cal. He holds up a new chip-watch.
“What’s that about?” I ask, but they don’t have time to answer.
The surgeon is ready. He makes measured cuts through the metal. The whole room erupts in cheers when the cuff splits open.
My tears start when my cuff falls off. They roll down my cheeks, washing away the shame. It’s like a window has opened in my heart, releasing all the pressure. I feel joy again. Joy and pride for being free.
Joy and pride for being myself.
My wrist is blank and shriveled. The skin smells funny until the nurse washes it clean with soap. “Do you want this?” She holds up the remnants of my cuff.
“Yes,” I say, and I think again about Ms. Lydia. I wonder what has happened to her cuff. I wait until everyone is gone but Seth and Cal, so I can ask. But they don’t know.
Seth has stopped filming and is now furiously typing into the air, uploading his latest post. “Can’t let
The Lighthouse
beat me to the punch.” he says.
“I think it’s safe to say
The Lighthouse
won’t be posting until later.” Cal coughs.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Dad’s the newest viral blogger in the family.”
“It was you?” My eyes open like saucers.
Cal nods his head. “Lydia was right about me. I
was
using our private conversations to find out information about the Vestals. Some of it I posted on
The Lighthouse
and —”
“Some of it he shared with me, for
Veritas Rex
.”
“You were working together?” I can’t believe it. I thought Ms. Lydia and I drove Seth and Cal apart.
“We figured it was the only way,” says Cal. “That’s why I started things with Lydia. To get more information.”
“We didn’t think you would ever leave the Vestals of your own accord, unless you knew the truth about them,” says Seth.
Cal takes a deep breath. “But never, Blanca, never would we have ever done any of this if we thought you would get hurt. And Lydia … I’m so sorry about Lydia.”
I feel a sharp stab to the heart at the mention of my aunt’s name.
Cal fights to keep it together, and Seth slaps him on the back a few times. Then Cal pulls his son in for a hug.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Seth tells his father. “You couldn’t have known she would die.”
“I made a mess of things.” Cal breaks down and sobs into Seth’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have tried to control people so much — Blanca
or
you.”
“I made mistakes too.” Seth’s voice breaks.
“If you want to keep your own apartment, that’s fine with me.” Cal steps back from the hug and stares Seth in the eyes. “You’re all grown up, and I accept that.”
Seth wipes tears off his cheek with the back of his hand. “And
you’re
right about college. Not earning my degree is something I regret.”
But my mind is still stuck on my aunt. “Ms. Lydia was using you too,” I say, interrupting their reunion.
Cal and Seth both nod. “We know,” says Cal. “But we didn’t understand why until now.”
“It was me. Ms. Lydia was my aunt. She wanted to get close to me. That was why—” But I stop, midsentence. Color drains from Cal’s face and Seth looks awful too. “What’s the matter?” My hand reaches for my shriveled wrist where my cuff used to be.
Cal is too choked up to explain.
“Lydia wasn’t your aunt,” Seth finally manages to say. “She was your mother.”
“What? No, that’s not right. Ms. Lydia was my
aunt
. Her
sister
was my mom. I don’t know how it happened, but Barbelo harvested Ms. Lydia’s sister somehow. Barbelo was my father.” I shudder, saying the truth.
“No, sweetheart,” Cal says, gently. “They’ve done tests. They’ve conducted autopsies. Lydia and Barbelo were both your parents. Lydia was your mother.”
“No,” I cry. “Just no.” And then I cannot say anything more at all.
Seth is right about the truth. It hurts, and it digs into you, but once it’s finally out there, it ends up making things better. The truth is worth fighting for. It’s worth sharing with the whole world. So when Seth finally digs up the whole truth a few weeks later, I let him post all of it on
Veritas Rex
.
Then I write my own response on
The Lighthouse
. Cal has given me his password and handed the site over to me. “You can still be a light in a dark world,” he said. “One beacon of light at a time.”
So this was my first post:
My name is Blanca McNeal. I grew up an orphan at Tabula Rasa, a school currently under federal investigation. I too was one of the victims of Headmaster Russell’s sadistic tyranny. I too was sterilized at fourteen.
Unlike so many students whose parents were under the false impression that their children would have a better life, my parents knew better. My birth parents were Barbelo Nemo and his assistant, Lydia.
My mother, Lydia, was one of the first Tabula Rasa students. When she turned eighteen, my father, Barbelo Nemo, purchased (“harvested”) her innocence. Fourteen years later, Lydia became pregnant, which is also when Barbelo began sterilizing Tabula Rasa students.
Rather than abort me, Lydia fled. As soon as I was born, she brought me to Headmaster Russell as a new student, so that she could resume her place with my father.
But as punishment for my mother’s perceived transgressions, Barbelo had already taken Lydia’s sister, Lilith, as an additional companion. For many years, Lilith continued to make commercial appearances. But seven years ago, she vanished. The circumstances of Lilith’s disappearance are only now being investigated.
To my former Vestal Brethren, I say this: I have chosen to free myself from all the lies that were holding me back. You can too. You have everything you need to achieve happiness.