Genesis Girl (11 page)

Headmaster Russell doesn’t have to know about Seth and neither do the other Vestals. I wouldn’t have to tell anyone. I could be a Vestal, and I could be with Seth too. All I need is Cal’s blessing, and he might actually give it.

I’ve always wanted to be wanted. I’ve always wanted a family. That was the hardest part about going Geisha. I never got the Vestal family that was promised to me.
“It’s a lonely road,”
Ms. Lydia said.

All my childhood fantasies involved finding the perfect Vestal family after my Harvest.
Blanca,
I imagined my new Vestal-mom saying.
We hoped our corporation would bid on you.
Then my new Vestal boyfriend would lead me off into the sunset.

“What are you thinking about?” Seth asks me. “You look like you’re a million miles away.”

“I was thinking about you,” I say. “I’m thinking about you and me together, being happy.” At least, I think this is what happiness is.

“I’m happy too.” Seth kisses the back of my neck. “I think you might be inspiring a new tattoo.”

That’s the last thing I want to hear! But the sick part inside me is willing to take it. I could put up with anything to stay here with Seth, coiled together in the grass.

I’m so busy looking at him and so busy feeling his hands on me that I don’t realize what’s happening.

I hear the gunshot in the distance, but it doesn’t register. I hear somebody screaming, but I don’t understand that it’s Alan, back at the guard station, being shot.

I don’t realize what’s going on. Not until the flashes start. Not until I finally look up and see people everywhere, taking our picture.

It’s the viral paparazzi, and they’re here to ruin everything.

“Blanca, go!” Seth yells at me. He tosses me the keys and shoves my helmet into my arms. Then he’s fighting every last Virus he can get his hands on.

But they’re everywhere! They pour out of the bushes and climb the trees. Hands are up and flashes are in my face. Everywhere I look, there’s another paparazzi.

“Go, Blanca! Go!” Seth shouts again. He knees a guy in the head and then kicks another Virus in the stomach. “Take the bike and go!”

For half a second I actually think about it. I could take that bike and ride away. I could protect myself and stay safe.
Stay private. Stay hidden.

But I need to hide immediately. So I shove on my helmet and crouch down low, like I’m a little ball of white. I put my arms around my knees and curl up into an egg. I close my eyes so I won’t see the flashes reflect off my helmet. Nobody can see me now.

The Viruses holler at me. “How does it feel to go Geisha?”

“Does Calum McNeal know you’re betraying him like this?”

“What do you look like under that helmet, girlie? Why don’t you show us?”

“Asshole!” Seth yells, and then I hear the sounds of more fists.

“Get him!” somebody says. “Hold him down so we can get more pictures.”

“How does it feel, Veritas Rex? How does it feel to be on the bottom?”

I open my eyes at that. And I see about a million guys holding Seth down, snapping away at him too. He’s trying to shield his face, but he can’t. But it’s not merely the cameras that are the problem; they’re actually hurting him, punching away until his face is bloody.

“Stop!” I shout. “Let him go!” I stand up tall and get their attention, exactly like they want. “I’ll take off my helmet if you release him.”

“What else will you take off, Vestal?” one of the men asks.

“No!” Seth screams, but his voice is muted by somebody’s knee.

“Let him go, and I’ll take off the helmet,” I shout. “I’ll start with that.” I can hear Seth crying now. I can hear him screaming with rage. When I take off my helmet, his protests get louder.

“No, Blanca! Don’t do it! Run!”

The vultures let him go. They’re all too busy standing up and clicking away with their thumb-cameras, uploading me straight to the Web.

“Take off your shirt!” one of them yells.

Seth lunges at the guy, trying to strangle him. Then a bunch dog-pile Seth again.

So many people are yelling at me that I go on autopilot
. Do exactly what you’re told.
I undo a button. Then one more. Then another. I would keep going except I hear footsteps coming from behind.

It’s Cal running up the path, like he’s on fire.

“Leave my kids alone!” Cal roars. He lunges at one of the men taking my picture and wrestles him to the ground. Then he pulls down another. “Fight back, Blanca! Don’t let them hurt you! Fight back!”

So I do, because I’m really good at fighting, once I get going. I know exactly where to hit a guy too. I kick one of the men holding Seth right in the head.

“The police are on their way!” Cal bellows, and he’s prying the bastards off too. “Get off my son! Leave my kids alone!”

The whole property swarms with cop cars. There are sirens and flashing lights everywhere, and the Viruses are rounded up one by one.

But I’m still fighting. I’m kicking every last Virus I can get my foot into. I don’t stop until the cops pull them away.

And Cal is frantic, screaming at a police officer, begging for an ambulance. Because Seth isn’t moving.

He’s lying on the grass in a pool of blood.

Of course I can’t go to the hospital with them. It’s not safe for me there. And I can’t get a message about how Seth is doing because I’m not connected. So I sit on the floor of the great hall and think about the worst. The hearth behind me is cold.

I remember the white roses from this morning. They mock me now. White roses are the symbol of death.

I also think about how somebody can do something nice and clueless all at the same time. Like trying to fight when you should run away. I don’t know why Seth didn’t run away. He should have jumped on his bike and escaped when he had the chance.

I thought all Viruses were selfish. But Seth risked his life to defend me. It doesn’t make any sense. He’s not the bastard I thought he was.

This is all my fault! I knew that Headmaster Russell would get Seth back for taking my picture.

Vestals avenge all wrongs, especially when our honor is at stake.

At least, I think this was Headmaster Russell’s doing. He knows people to call for every situation, even paparazzi thugs.

But maybe this wasn’t coming from Tabula Rasa at all. I can easily see Headmaster Russell going after Seth, but he never would have told those people to take
my
picture.

Now that my stolen pictures are out there for the whole world to see, I’ve shamed the Brethren.

Vestals are a collective power. We are united by secrecy and code. Privacy is paramount.

There are some lines that Headmaster Russell won’t cross.

So maybe this wasn’t about Seth after all. Maybe this was about me being a Vestal. Maybe it was about Viruses hunting me down because I was top pick. Because I went Geisha. Or because they wanted to thrash Veritas Rex, one of the most popular Viruses of all time.

But no matter why it happened, I’ve failed Cal. Seth didn’t come home for dinner after all. I failed, like the loser I am. Just like Headmaster Russell used to say about me during Discipline Hour.
“You’re weak, Blanca. You need atonement.”

It’s all my fault.

I don’t know how I fall asleep, but I finally do, curled up on the marble floor. When I open my eyes, it’s the middle of the night, and a cold draft wakes me.

Cal has come home, opening the front door and bringing the chill in with him. “Blanca,” he’s says. “What are you doing down here? Why aren’t you in bed?”

I sit bolt upright and gasp for air. “Where’s Seth?” I ask. “Is he … ”

“Seth’s okay.” Cal sits down on the floor next to me. “It’s all right.”

“Where is he?”

“Back at the hospital, sleeping off the drugs. His nose is broken, and he has a couple of cracked ribs, but other than that, he’ll be fine. He’s coming home in the morning.”

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much joy and relief at the same time. Then I look down at Cal’s hands, and they’re bandaged too.

“What about you, Cal? Are you okay?”

“Never better.” Cal smiles. “I spent the past eight hours with my son.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“Not yet.” Cal sighs. “Later. When the drugs wear off.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For failing you.”

“What do you mean?” Cal asks. “I’m the one who failed you. And Alan! I should have had bulletproof glass in the guard station. I should have—”

“Is Alan okay?”

“He’s not going to come home any time soon, but he’ll make it,” Cal says.

“I’m sorry Seth didn’t come home for dinner like you wanted.”

“Is that it?” Cal puts his arm around me and hugs me gently. “Oh, my precious girl. You have nothing to be sorry for at all.”

“But it’s all my fault! If it wasn’t for me, Seth could have gotten away.”

“But why didn’t
you
get away when you had the chance? I heard Seth tell you to run.”

“They were everywhere!” I pull myself back to look at him. “I couldn’t get to the house.”

“But why didn’t you get on the bike and go far, far away?”

“And leave the estate?” I ask, horrified.

Cal looks at me with equal horror. “Is that what this is about? You wouldn’t leave the estate because I told you not to?”

I don’t want to say it because I know he’ll be mad. But I have to, because Cal asked me a question. “I always follow directions. I’m a Vestal.”

“No,” Cal says, his voice going deep. “No. I was wrong. I was wrong to have bought you.”

I shake my head, but Cal keeps going.

“This whole thing was wrong!”

“No, it wasn’t!” I protest. But Cal’s not listening.

“I don’t want you to follow my directions anymore,” he says. “I want you to think for yourself, and I want you to make good choices for your own welfare.”

“Stop. Just stop. You know I can’t do that. You
know
that’s not how this works. You’re my purchaser
. You need to tell me what to do.
”

“No.” Cal shakes his head. “No more directions. You’ve got good instincts, and you can think for yourself. That’s my new request for you, for now and evermore.”

“No, I can’t. I’m sorry, Cal, but I can’t.” I say it again and again. I can’t stop saying it, even when Cal pulls me to my feet and tells me to go to bed.

“Get some sleep now, and we’ll talk about this in the morning.”

But I can’t move.

Cal considers me and my tears. “Look,” he says. “I’ll be honest. I don’t know what to do with you now. But I don’t want people to hurt you. I want you to have a real life. So we’ll figure this all out in the morning, okay?”

I nod, like I agree. Then I suck back the tears like I’ve been taught.
Cry on cue. Stop crying. Tears are a tool.

I wander up to my cloister in a daze, forgetting to bolt the door.

But I can’t sleep. I’m a total wreck. It’s like a switch has gone off inside me and I can’t turn it back.

I’m sobbing. I’m raging. My old tricks don’t work anymore.

When Seth comes into my room the next morning, his face bandaged and swollen, I’m still a mess. He kisses my wet cheeks and whispers in my ear. “Blanca, what’s wrong? I’m okay. You’re okay. They were only some pictures.”

Seth thinks this is about the photographers. But it’s not about pictures. It’s about more than that. How the hell could Cal do this to me? How the freaking hell could he
do
this to me?

Vestals don’t make decisions on our own. We always follow orders.

I need Cal to tell me what to do. That’s the deal, and he knows it.