Generations 2.7 kindle (27 page)

Ben didn’t duck like she thought he would have, since he was sitting just a foot away from a girl who had diarrhea of the mouth. He didn’t even look around the room for a protective face mask. He held his eyes steady on her; his blue eyes a little less brilliant, a little more somber. “You thought I was going to dump you?” He sounded thunderstruck. Maybe even a little offended.

Holy Idiotville. She had to quickly amend, “Not like you were going to break-up with me. ‘Cause we’re not technically going out or anything. But just … ya know … not want to see me anymore.”

He started smiling, but it looked like he was fighting it. Like he was trying not to laugh at her. “Why would I ask you to come over if I didn’t want to see you anymore?”

Well, ahem. Kay. She hadn’t really thought of it like that. Except … “Because you’re a gentleman. And you’d want to tell me in person. Instead of in a tweet or something.” So there.

This time he did laugh. At her. Not with. Because she wasn’t laughing. “I wouldn’t do it in a tweet. Because that would be going public.”

She froze. He didn’t debunk her theory. She hoped it was just because he was taking her literally. “I didn’t mean a tweet specifically: I just meant a modern mode of communication.”
  

“I know. But you don’t need to worry about that. About me dumping you. Here. Or via technology.”

Phew. Kat breathed a sigh of relief. But it was just a small breath. Because he didn’t necessarily look relieved, or penitent about causing her confusion.

“But we do need to talk. About … some things.” He looked tense. Maybe even nervous. He didn’t say anything else for a bit. Which was nerve-racking, because Ben never had a hard time finding words. He was looking at a spot on the wall … not at her. Which was also a bad sign. He always looked at her—a little too much at times. “I want us to have an open relationship, Kat.”
Her body was still frozen, but her mind started to swirl. This could go in so many directions. She liked that he’d said the word relationship. That could be good … but.

“I think it’s … crucial with the nature of my … life, for us to always be upfront with each other. Like that thing at Actuelle. That was good. I’m glad that you told me about it. I don’t want you to ever be afraid to tell me anything … even if it might be bad. Or embarrassing. We always need to be honest with each other. If we’re going to make this work.”

Kat heard a swear word in her head. One that she never said. Good thing her mouth was shut at the moment. He was telling her to be honest. To not be embarrassed to tell him things. This was about Jackson. Hole … eee … crap.

Ben knew the truth. How long had he known? He must think that she was a schmuck: not just the Mayor of Idiotville, but also the mother of all five-thousand residents. She opened her mouth to talk, but then snapped it shut again. She had to think this through, rather than just babble. She had to use caution. She could explain this logically without sounding like a stalker-fan—if her mouth was connected to her brain.

Before she could begin with her explanation, Ben started talking again. “So I need to tell you about Dubai.”

Those words were like smelling salts under Kat’s nose. Oh. This wasn’t about Jack. This was about something that happened in Dubai. Kat’s gut told her that this had something to do with a female. Her body was stiff; she couldn’t move. She couldn’t even blink. Her blood had just turned to marble. She wanted to be a statue—to not have to hear this. To not have to think about what he was going to say. To not be altered by it.

“Paul’s push this year is to move me away from being just another teen idol. He wants the world to see that I’ve grown up. That I’m ready to inherit the throne, so to speak.”

This was one area where she thought that Paul was leading Ben down the wrong path. Ben didn’t need to be a man yet. He didn’t need the throne. She could see how this expectation weighed heavily on his shoulders, even though he tried to shrug it off. This was too much for Ben, at too young an age. She had to agree with her mom on this one: teen stars don’t need to grow up so quickly. But Kat didn’t say anything. She knew that Ben was still getting somewhere with his monologue. It wasn’t time for her to interject her opinions.

“So that’s why we were doing a spread for
M
magazine. And since most men wouldn’t buy a magazine with a teenage boy on the cover, we brought in a model to pose with me. A swimsuit model. Brishell Broz.”

Kat felt her mouth form an “O”, but no sound came out. While her body felt statuesque, her heart, unfortunately, remained alive. It was starting to hurt. Brishell Broz was the most gorgeous woman on earth. Woman! Not teenage girl. Brishell was old, around twenty, and
fully developed.
           
“We knew before we went to Dubai what Franz Burdette, the photographer, had in mind. And we knew that it was going to be … pushing the envelope. He sent the proofs yesterday. It’s a little more … provocative than I had realized. I just felt like you should see it. First. Before the cover is released.”

This time, her mouth actually said “oh.” Her veins began to pulse blood again. That was it? He wanted her to see a photo of him and Brishell? That was nothing! Here she’d been expecting him to say that he’d gone to a topless beach with Brishell. And they’d been caught rolling in the sand by the paparazzi. “Yeah. I’d like to see the proofs.” Really, how cool was this to see the cover for
M
Magazine before it even hit the stands? She was like an editor or something.

Ben turned the TV back on, but opened up an internal hard drive section. Cool. His entire computer desktop was being displayed on an eight-foot plasma screen. It made Kat’s little netbook she had in her room seem like a Barbie toy.

He had the curser over a file marked “M April”. He turned to Kat. “You ready? It’s kind of … shocking.”

She nodded confidently. If it was something that was going to be on newsstands, it couldn’t be all that shocking.
M
had half-naked women on their cover all the time. This was just going to be a picture of Ben. And Brishell. What’s the big deal?

A black shadowbox about two feet across opened on the screen, then the picture appeared in the shadowbox. Kat caught a gasp before it escaped from her mouth. She blinked a couple times. Wow. This was shocking indeed.

Brishell was naked as a blue jay. And she was clinging to Ben.
Please let him have clothes on
. Kat was afraid to look. Her eyes quickly scanned that area. Phew. He had on a something Speedo-ish. She blinked a few more times before she turned her head to look at Ben—the real Ben, not the one blaring in HD with a nekkid girl wrapped around him. Kat hoped her eyebrows weren’t scrunched. She hoped she looked impassive. Her mouth opened. She didn’t know what it was going to say. She prayed that it was appropriate. “It’s really … stunning. Visually.” He was studying her, carefully analyzing her reaction. She needed to make this good. “That’s what? Around twenty-four megapixels? You can see every individual grain of sand. That’s pretty amazing.”

He was still staring, still scrutinizing her response. She looked away from him, and back at the photo. Honestly, it was cool—stunning even. Ben and Brishell were in the desert. There was this enormous sand-twister over Ben’s left shoulder. And Brishell was wrapped around Ben, like she was part of the sand-twister, trying to pull him away. Kat could see the sand swirling around them … like the photo was taken seconds before they were swept up in the twister. It was cool. Really, it was. “Is that … photoshopped? The twister?”

“No, it’s not actually. Franz is big on being the real deal. He likes his scenes to be authentic.”

Dang. That meant that Brishell really was naked. Her clothes hadn’t been photoshopped away. Not that you could see details—the sand was placed very strategically. But you got the idea.

“But the color is enhanced. Franz wanted it to look bronzed. Glittering almost. But there isn’t anywhere with gold sand … even in Dubai.” Ben gave a half-smile. “So he had to cheat a little.”

“That’s actually what I love about it … the coloring. It’s beautiful. The glittering sand against the blue … sky.” Kay, that’s not what she was thinking. She was thinking about his eyes. They were enhanced, but only slightly. Just a shade or two brighter than normal. And the way that he had his head tilted down, hiding his features, made his eyes even that much more dominant. So the key focus of the picture was all the swirling bronze sand with a pair of vivid blue eyes penetrating through. Oh … and the naked lady.

“So that’s all you have to say about it? You’re commenting on the artistic attributes of the picture. But you haven’t said anything about the other … more obvious aspect.”

Kat had to clear her throat before she could say that name. “Brishell? You’re worried that I might be … jealous or something?” Wow. She said it straight. No emotion in her voice whatsoever. That was impressive.

Ben looked at her skeptically. “Yeah … or something.”

“Well, it’s … definitely pushing the envelope. But it’s not pornographic.” Lie. There was going to be one of those black plastic inserts over that issue of the magazine, for sure. “It’s tasteful,” she added. “And it will … draw attention … and sell. Like her swimsuit issue.”

“Yeah. She’s the first model to be on two of their covers in less than a year.”

“Wow. Cool.” Good for Brishell. Blah. Kat wanted to ask questions about Brishell … about how well Ben knew her, but Kat couldn’t do it. She didn’t think she could stomach a conversation about Brishell.

“It will definitely open up a new demographic for me. The article they are running is really great.”

“Can’t wait to read it,” Kat said half-heartedly. She knew she wouldn’t be allowed to buy that magazine. Her dad was going to have a fit. He’d been impressed with Ben. With Lena, and the morals that she’d instilled in her son. But once Darin Hayes would see that picture, all that esteem would diminish. He’d see Ben as a womanizer. Like his father. Fine for a rockstar, but not so great for Kat’s boyfriend. This was not going to go over well at her home. Which brought up a thought … “Do you think you’ll upset some of the parents of your younger fans?”

“Yeah. We’re expecting some fall-out. But we’re not expecting it to affect album sales. The opposite actually. Any controversy that keeps your name in the news is good for revenue. Plus there are still plenty of teen magazine covers coming out … and they’re wholesome. We should be able to keep everyone happy.”

One more thought. “And it’s … legal … even though you’re not eighteen yet? To do that cover?”

Ben chuckled. “Kat, I have clothes on. It’s completely legal.”

“Well, I know that you’re not …” Nope. She couldn’t say it.
Naked
. She had to start over. “You have a Speedo on. But it’s just that she’s older. And she’s … in her birthday suit. So I just wondered.”

His expression was soft, even though his smile was gone. He was really searching Kat’s eyes. Looking for something. Was he hoping to find jealousy in there somewhere? Because she could show it to him, it would be easier than hiding it. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to see that weakness. She didn’t want him to know that this was killing her. Brishell was in an entirely different universe, and try as hard as Kat might, she would never ever reach that altitude. And here Ben was, rubbing shoulders (ahem, naked shoulders) with the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. But maybe jealous wasn’t the right word. Inferior. That was more like it. Kat felt inferior, insignificant, inadequate. But Ben couldn’t know that. She had to make him think that she was equal to the task of revolving in his world. Because those with insecurities were flung out of his orbit.

“Yeah, all the legalities are covered. Especially since I’m not naked. And Brishell—she’s two years older than me. She’s an adult.”

“Brishell is only nineteen?”

“She’s twenty. But just barely. Her birthday was in November. So technically, she is two and a half-years older.”
Kat felt her heart crumple, just like it had been crushed within the palm of her hand. Like what she’d done to her last math test, after she left the classroom of course. The way Ben spoke about Brishell … there was such a tone of familiarity there. Dubai wasn’t the first time that Ben had met her, that was for sure. “Wow. She seems older than that,” Kat mumbled. Kat had hoped that Brishell was older. Twenty wasn’t far enough out of Ben’s range.

“On camera, she does. In person … she’s looks younger. Especially when she goes without makeup.”