Geis of the Gargoyle (53 page)

"Moving me."

Hiatus drew a blank.
 
"Doing what?"

"Moving my physical component from one place to another.
 
So that I could travel.
 
Then I would no longer be confined to the Region of Madness, and could extend my influence into normal Xanth immediately."

"But to do that I would have to find you!" he protested.
 
For he remembered that however compelling her twin hemispheres might be, she was not the philter; she was just a projection projected to blind him by cooking his eyeballs.

"Yes.
 
So you can appreciate that I will never allow you to find me unless we have a deal that guarantees your trustworthiness.
 
At present we can not trust each other, but if that changed, we might enable each other to possess our respective dreams."

Hiatus was amazed again.
 
"You can read my mind.
 
You know I don't much like you, however tempting you make your illusion form.
 
And I'm sure you have no feeling at all for me, except irritation at the inconvenience of having to deal with me.
 
How could we ever trust each other?"

"If you knew that only I could guarantee your happiness with Desiree, and I knew that only you could enable me to travel without danger, we would be bound to each other by realistic self-interest.
 
It could be an extremely mutually profitable arrangement."

"But I would be betraying the interest of Xanth," he protested.
 
There was no doubt about it: his eyes had fused in his head, staring at her earnest breast.

"That depends on how you look at it," she said, glancing down as if to make sure her mock hypnogourds were still functioning.
 
"Since in time the madness will expand to cover all Xanth, and my power with it, you would be merely accelerating the speed of the change, not its nature.
 
And you would reap extraordinary benefit yourself.
 
In fact if you wished to have nominal power in Xanth, such as becoming king, it could be arranged.
 
I don't care about that sort of thing; my power is expressed in other ways."

"King?" Hiatus had never thought of such a thing.
 
"No, my talent is not Magician level, and anyway, I'm sort of a nothing person, as my name shows.
 
My sister Lacuna was the same, until she married retroactively.
 
I'm not cut out for greatness.
 
I just want to find happiness with Desiree, and that's all."

"To quote a memory in your mind: some are born to greatness," Desi said earnestly, her breathing deepening.
 
"Some achieve it.
 
Some have it thrust-"

"Hello," Mentia said, appearing.
 
"I hope I'm interrupting something." She eyed Desi's decolletage, which promptly misted over.
 
Then the illusion woman faded out.

"Where were you?" Hiatus asked, trying to crack his eyeballs out of their locked positions.
 
"She was seducing me with wonderful promises."

"And with hot meat, too," the demoness remarked.
 
She peered into his face.
 
"Sure enough, your eyes corroded.
 
Don't you know enough to blink at least once a minute? Here's some lubricating oil." She produced an oilcan and squirted a drop on each eyeball, then massaged his eyelids to spread it around.

His eyes finally ground out of their grooves.
 
It hurt to move them around, but he wanted to get them back to full working order.
 
"She-she offered me a deal," he said.

"What can she offer that I can't offer? I speak theoretically, of course, having no more inherent interest in you than she does."

He considered that.
 
"Actually, probably nothing.
 
But it seemed persuasive at the time."

"Well, that's because you mortal men are constitutionally unable to look and reason simultaneously."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that."

She assumed Desiree's form, with Desi's open blouse.
 
She leaned forward and breathed.
 
"Now reason with me."

"I, uh, duh-" he said, staring.

Her blouse closed itself up.
 
His eyes broke free just before they corroded again.
 
"Point made," he said.

"The other teams are proceeding," she said.
 
"But not finding anything.
 
So I took time to look around myself, but I couldn't locate the philter.
 
It is certainly well hidden."

"But it must be afraid that we can find it," he said, "because it's taking a lot of trouble to interfere with our search."

"Yes.
 
And the ones I think it fears most are Gayle Goyle and you, because it has taken the most trouble to eliminate or subvert you.
 
It ignored Iris and Surprise.
 
So you must have the key to its location."

"If I do, I don't know what it is," he said.

"It may be something you are destined to do or see.
 
Maybe you will just happen to blunder on its hiding place, and it knows that.
 
So it's desperate to divert you or subvert you before that happens."

Hiatus shrugged.
 
"I suppose.
 
But she scared me.
 
She said she could destroy Desiree's tree."

"She lied.
 
How can an illusion hurt a tree?"

"But it's a demon, really.
 
And demons can-"

"Set your foolish mind at ease.
 
I'm a demon.
 
I could hurt a tree.
 
But why would I bother? It would be a lot of work to no purpose.
 
The philter is a demon, but of a different species.
 
Apparently most of its bulk is bound into its physical aspect, and it has very little left over.
 
So it uses a variant of illusion, stretched very thinly, with just a bit of substance to provide the feel of it when necessary.
 
So when she kisses you, only her lips are solid, and when her hand touches you, only the skin of her fingers is tangible.
 
No way could she damage a tree protected by its dryad."

"That's right," he said, appreciating her reasoning.
 
"That lady dog lied to me!"

"That's why I told you not to trust her." She looked out the window.
 
"Say, I think we're getting where we're going."

He followed her gaze.
 
"That looks like a giant gourd!"

"The entry into the dream realm," she agreed.
 
"This is going to be interesting."

"Interesting? Why?"

"Because demons don't dream.
 
I don't know what to anticipate in a dream."

"A dream in madness is frightening," he said.
 
"You demons haven't been missing anything you'd want."

"Well, we'll see." She stood as the train creaked to a halt.
 
"Let's get on with it."

He followed her off the train.
 
A path led directly to the monster gourd.
 
The thing was so big that the train itself could have steamed on into it, but perhaps the train knew better.
 
A sign over its entry said ABANDON HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.

"Is this wise?" he asked nervously.

"If the philter doesn't want us to go here, it's probably where we should go," Mentia said.
 
"Besides, I'm curious."

"You have never had a bad dream delivered by a night mare," he told her.

"Right.
 
I'm sure it's intriguing.
 
Let's head on into Stone Hunch."

He realized that she would have to leam the hard way.
 
She had never dreamed, so had no fear, in just the way small dragons who had never encountered ogres lacked fear.
 
Any human child knew better than to tempt a night mare, but a demon didn't.

They entered the enormous peephole.
 
With a normal gourd the peephole caught the eye of the looker, and would not let it go, much as Desi's exposed bosom had locked Hiatus' own eyes in place.
 
But with a big gourd this effect was minimal, because the whole body was caught in it.

Suddenly they were in a strange room.
 
There was a picture hanging on the wall showing a portrait of a man Hiatus didn't recognize.
 
He glanced away, then back at it-and the portrait had changed.
 
Realizing that he must be mistaken, he looked away, and to it a third time.
 
It had changed again.

There was a window, through which he could see rain pouring down incessantly.
 
He looked away, and to it again, but the rain did not change.
 
But he knew that it had not been raining outside the gourd.
 
More strangeness.

There was a peculiar machine directly in front of him, with a board filled with letters of the alphabet, and a screen right above it.
 
"Oh, no!" he breathed, a shiver of dread running through him.
 
"I recognize that device by reputation.
 
It's Corn Pewter, the evil machine who changes reality in his vicinity, so that no one can escape."

"What a weird place," Mentia remarked.

"I think we had better get out of here before Pewter wakes and starts messing with our realities," Hiatus said.

"Oh, pooh," she said.
 
"A stupid machine can't affect a demon."

"I'm not sure of that.
 
I'm leaving." He turned and started back out of the gourd-before realizing that there was a solid wall of the room behind him.
 
The scene had shut him in.
 
"Uh, that is, maybe you can leave," he said.
 
"Sure." But she remained standing beside him.
 
"Go!" he said nervously.
 
"Fade out.
 
Pop off.
 
You can warn the others not to enter the gourd."

"I can't," she said, visibly disturbed.
 
"I'm trying to fade, but it's not working."

"I was afraid of that.
 
You're trapped too.
 
We can't get out of this until we figure out how-and it may not be easy.
 
The dream realm doesn't follow ordinary rules."

"You mean this is a dream? Stuck in a stupid room and I can't act like the demoness I am? This isn't fun."

"Bad dreams aren't fun.
 
I tried to warn you."

"Well, then, I'll just bash my way out." She walked to the wall, formed a triple-sized fist, and punched hard.

Her big fist bounced off the wall harmlessly.
 
"Owww!" she cried, jamming the fist into her mouth, which she expanded hugely for the purpose.
 
"Mmmph owmmmmph yowmmmph!"

"What was that?"

She pulled the fist out with a slurpy pop.
 
"That stupid wall hurt me!"

"But demons don't hurt," he reminded her.

She looked at her big hand, which was now turning red and pulsing.
 
"In bad dreams they do, it seems."

"I guess you are now subject to human limitations.
 
Maybe there's another way out."

He turned back to face the picture, window, and evil machine.
 
Pewter remained asleep, fortunately.
 
He took a careful step to the left, avoiding the machine.