Read GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY Online
Authors: John Chaffetz
GAY REALITY : THE TEAM GUIDO STORY (10 page)
IT IS apparent that if the ultimate goal of gays is to achieve complete acceptance in America, plenty of work still needs to be done. Homosexuals cannot look forward, in the foreseeable future, to waking up and celebrating substantial integration. A tremendous, sustained, and carefully orchestrated plan needs to be formulated and then executed to perfection.
Is the gay community up to that undertaking? Without question some, perhaps most, are. But will the fringe element (the radicals and extremists) continue to rupture the overall perception of gays by straight Americans?
Clearly it seems that education, both formal and informal, is indicated. Remove the mysterious, the unknown, the dark side.
Is it as easily defined as the bottom line for Cole Wiley: “There’s really no difference between straights and gays in regards to relationships.” (The same assessment as Dr. Richard Levak offered on Bill and Joe).
“If straights can just stay away from thinking about
how
gays have sex, it’ll be a lot easier to have gays accepted.”
Of course it isn’t that simple and Mr. Wiley knows that. But how about the views of a fellow passenger I interviewed in the boarding area of the Long Beach, California airport?
He is tall, fiftyish, lean and gray-haired. An obvious Type A+, aggressively pacing back and forth speaking into the microphone connected to his telephone headset. A bit later he is seated and reading the New York Times. I ask him if I might ask him a few questions. He is, without a doubt, a high-strung New Yorker, but, with a little cajoling, he consents to be interviewed on his feelings, thoughts and observations regarding the gay community:
“Well, I was born in Italy (no accent at all), but I am an American citizen and proud of it. I have a double perspective. In Italy and much of Europe, nobody gives a shit about homosexuals or homosexuality. It’s an absolute private matter. You don’t flaunt it like they do here.
“I’m against anything that’s ‘in your face’. There shouldn’t be any parades. Not Gay Pride, or Knights of Columbus, or St. Patrick’s Day, none!
“And I am revolted by overt sexuality. Couples, gay, lesbian, or straight, shouldn’t be tongue-kissing in front of other people. That shows no respect and it’s just wrong.”
He’s rolling now. I don’t even need to ask any questions!
“Gays seem to be, on average, smarter and better educated; maybe it’s the genes. Gays know how to raise lots of money and buy politicians. Gays will keep on advancing. The mainstream media is completely sympathetic and they are great at programming Americans. Now I need to get back to reading my newspaper!”
The flight has been airborne for more than an hour. So many questions pertaining to the current and future status of the gay community keep resonating through my brain:
In straight America have we indelibly categorized gays and lesbians into narrow stereotypical images? Do our minds only “see” queens, or well-dressed, tan and fit gay men and heavily masculinized lesbian women?
Why do we never see poor, homeless gays? Surely sexuality is not academically or economically segregated.
Does Gay America know that it often grates on the minds of straight Americans? Does it care?
Do gays know, or at least sense, that a straight backlash could be more than just media speculation? Do they care?
When will the gay majority, the conservative, politically correct, self-professed mainstream homosexuals, make some sort of meaningful effort to teach straights that the Gay Pride flaunters are but a miniscule fraction of the overall gay community? Will this only occur when the straights have had enough and the politicians react accordingly?
Would that effort already be in full bloom if not for the on-going paranoia of so many gays to not make waves? Are the “flamers” in fact squelching any further gay progress toward conquering both overt and suppressed prejudice?
The answers are by no means defined. So much depends on the degree of resolve within the leadership of the gay community. But does that group even, in fact, exist?
American society today is increasingly more accepting of gays. But in the military and the Catholic Church, for example, gays are forced to camouflage their true sexual identity, or face immediate ouster. Just as some light-skinned blacks attempt (and often succeed) to “pass” for white, many gays stay under the glare of the public radar by marrying. Quite often their totally unsuspecting wives, as well as their children, are devastated and emotionally damaged when the cover is revealed.
What has our society achieved by this grave and overt prejudice? Pain and psychological suffering come immediately to mind.
Certainly the quest for ultimate gay acceptance has, at least in some meaningful measure, been enhanced by the participation of Bill Bartek and Joe Baldassare on a widely-viewed reality television series.
And lest we forget the tiny little fellow who catapulted them to such public exposure, the captain of Team Guido!
IT IS an evening in early January and I am sitting with Team Guido in their living room. Joe has made soup (his own creation) which is simmering on the stove. The aroma is intoxicating.
“Now that you have read the manuscript, is there anything else that you wish to convey to me, or to the readers?”, I ask.
“There is,” offers Bill. “First of all, on the subject of Gay Pride events, everyone should have the right to participate, or not participate, in any activity that isn’t illegal. Everyone has to live their own life. There’d be a lot less problems if we, everyone, concentrated on our own lives. Gay Pride is not wrong, but it is also not for everyone.”
To which Joe quickly adds, “I’ve only been to a couple of Gay Pride parades in my whole life, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t work for some gays—to each his own. It’s just unfortunate that the 30-second clips shown on television are judged by straights as standing for all gays. That just isn’t true.”
“And post-Race, how goes it for Team Guido?”
Bill responds, “I’m hoping that the book makes it very clear that we are both doing just fine. I’ve always been happy. I’m comfortable in my skin. And very, very happy now.”
Joe glances at Bill before turning to me. “Some people may think that we gays are lost, groping, unhappy, sad, constantly looking for sex and that’s just incorrect. We’d like to make positive, those things that the guy in the airport said to you. We want, very much, to have a positive influence on not just straight society, but young gay men as well.”
Bill is noticeably contemplating before he speaks. “After the Race we went through somewhat of a re-entry process. From being just regular, every day guys, we were suddenly recognized and contacted by so many people. Great for the ego, yet a bit overwhelming.
“But, you know, despite the notoriety, we live our lives just like everyone else does. Our lifestyle is much more user-friendly now than it’s ever been. We never really thought of being anything special.
“It wasn’t just a lark, there were highs and lows: Rosie loves us, Rosie’s ripping us, for example. Hey, we’re not asking for sympathy! Far from it. We achieved our goal and that was just to be accepted. We got that. It’s been a wonderful ride and we’re enjoying it.”
Joe looks at me and smiles warmly as he says, “We’re just a happily married gay couple.”
“And are there any other dreams that the two of you wish to fulfill?”
“We’re closing in on our next one. Hosting a travel show on an emerging gay-oriented cable channel,” answers Joe.
Before too long I rise and thank them for the visit and the wonderful soup. I shake hands with Bill and then with Joe. As I turn to leave, I look down in front of me. Little Guido is sitting up staring into my face.
I smile and he winks at me.
The author solicits your thoughts, opinions and observations. Please e-mail them to:
*Identifies, the first time they are mentioned, those individuals who, for their
own privacy, are not referred to by their real names.
