Gathering Water (5 page)

“
Do you know who I am?” he asked, like he was someone important like a mobster or something.

“No! I just met you! I think I’m going to go. Thank you for your hospitality or whatever. Tell Cash to stay away from my house in the f
uture.” I was convinced my ever-trustworthy people instincts had finally expired, because this was turning into a nightmare. I stood up and started to make my way around the house to leave, to avoid seeing Ellis and Cash inside, when Connor stood up and called out to me.

“Wait! Just, sit back down.” I ignored him and kept walking. “Just… Della, Gabriella was my sister. Now just park your butt in that chair so
I can think for a minute.”

Well,
that
certainly caused a pause in my step, one which Connor took advantage of by grabbing me by the elbow and directing me back to the table where I sat in stunned silence for who knows how long. The exact situation I’d been trying to avoid had come up much, much sooner than I had anticipated.

“Now, would you please
explain to me what is going on? I didn’t read much further through those papers after finding out my baby sister died after giving birth to a child no one knew she was pregnant with, and I’d much rather hear you tell me everything than have to read through the rest of that damn folder!” he exclaimed.

I felt equal parts guilt and bewilderment at the
crack in his voice when mentioning my mother; it was as if he didn’t already know about her death, which was impossible since the police file clearly stated that family was notified upon her identification.

“Wait, didn’t you already know? I mean, the police file
,” which I pulled out to show him, “says that her next of kin was notified after she was identified. See, right here, they talked to her father ‘Tobias Neale’, they told him everything.” And I handed the report to him and watched as his mouth pursed in consternation while he read.

“Oh Gabby
,” he sighed softly to himself. “Della, you said you don’t have a father. Did Gabby have a friend out there who took care of you?” he asked almost hopefully, though the answer was obvious.

“If she had a friend out there then she wouldn’t have been labeled as a Jane Doe
for most of my life.”

“So you were adopted?”

“No. I was fostered out. Nobody would take me, and I didn’t exactly have family that would take me in.” He flinched at that. “I didn’t even know my mother’s name until my birthday, and that was only a few weeks ago.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He truly did look flummoxed. “If we had known… Della, you do have family, and believe me when I say that I will find out
what
the
hell
my father was thinking when he decided to keep this from us. I wish I could deny that he knew, but the man was always a bastard when it came to Gabby.” His voice hitched again. Why would my mother leave a home where she had someone who loved her as much as her brother obviously did?

“Della, I’d like you to hang around a little longer. I know this has go
t to be strange for you, but I’ve got to go inside and make some phone calls.” He left swiftly, like a man barely holding his composure, hesitating as he passed me to squeeze my shoulder in the closest thing I’d ever had to parental touch.

A few minutes later Cash came outside.

“Come on cousin, I’ve got a great eavesdropping spot. Haven’t had to use it since I was a kid, but it’ll still work. Lets go hear what my parents are saying.” He again pulled me along like I was a baby-doll.

“You could have said something! You
jerk!” I was happy to have someone to be mad at because the conversation with Connor - my uncle - had left me feeling overwhelmed. “Ugh, I think I
hate
you!” I moaned quietly, being uncharacteristically dramatic. Something about the way Cash acted put me at ease, even then.

“No you don’t; we’re cousins. That’s like built-in best friends. Now you can yell at me later, but be quiet or we won’t get to hear what they’re saying.” He pulled me around to the side of the house, the porch conveniently wrapping around much the way it did at my house, to a spot right next to an open window.

“I made sure it was open before they went in there.” He whispered to me conspiratorially, pulling me down to sit underneath the window next to him. My new cousin had obviously done this a million times before, because you could hear his parents inside perfectly. Connor was telling Ellis what had happened, and I started nervously twisting the armlet around when I heard her gasp and softly cry.

“I wondered, since it’s been so long. But poor Gabby, she must have been so scared out there by herself and pregnant. And that poor little girl.” I
assumed I was the little girl that Ellis was referring to.

“I can’t believe dad already knew. What was he
thinking
? Twelve years he’s known and he didn’t say a single thing. All those times we’ve talked about it. I just don’t know what to do.” Connor’s voice was equal parts anger and sadness. I heard them shuffling around a bit before the voices started again.

“What about Della, is she really Gabby’s little girl? Why didn’t she tell us she was pregnant?”

“I think she is. Now that I know, I can see my sister all over her face, and she’s got my grandma’s eyes. I think that’s the worst part about Dad’s knowing. There was a little girl and he couldn’t open his go-“ but his wife interrupted.

“I don’t know what Toby’s reason
s were, and I doubt that whatever they were was sufficient reason for hiding this, but that isn’t the matter at hand. What do you want to do about Della?” Ellis sounded pretty composed now, though her voice was still pretty thick with tears.

“I may not have been able to take care of my baby sister, but I can certainly take care of her girl. She doesn’t think she has a family, and we need to change that. I can’t stand the thought of Gabby’s baby not knowing her family.”

Before I could hear any more Cash pulled me up and away from the window.

“Bet you a dollar you’re gonna move in now.”

“Did you get dropped on your head as a child?”

“Ha, seriously though. You’re moving in.” And he really did sound serious.

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Look, you may not know us, but family is a really, really big deal to us. My dad was just killed a little bit hearing about your mom. He’s always felt guilty for her running off, and I know for a fact that he’s hired at least one private detective to track her down. Now, he just found out that his baby sister, who also happened to be my mother’s very best friend, is dead. You are the niece he didn’t know existed.” He poked me in the shoulder, causing me to step back with my arms crossed. “And if you don’t let them try and help you, it’s going to eat at them until he goes crazy. It’s not like it’ll be forever, and it’s not like you’re staying at the Ritz or something now. And you probably have some questions about things, and it would be easier for you to learn about the, uh, family stuff here.” He crossed his own arms in front of me and lowered his voice. “So, you’re moving in, and you’re gonna like it.” He sounded completely serious, too.

“I think I have a say in where I live, thank you very much. Besides, they don’t even know me, only crazy people invite
strangers to live with them,” I responded, not appreciating his bossy tone.

But his words were sinking in pretty fast; my mom really did mean a lot to these people and I again wondered why she would have run away when she had people that loved her so much.
I was both hopeful and terrified of their asking me to move in.

After a few minutes of me
glaring at Cash, his parents came back outside and asked me to come in for a talk. I was emotionally numb due to the circumstances, and I marveled at my own calm since any sane person would have been freaking out. I now know that the calm I was experiencing was a defense mechanism; after a little while all the emotions would come crashing down at once.

I fo
llowed the two of them to a home office with a slightly open window in the corner and I figured Cash was sitting under there to listen again. There was a small couch against the wall and I felt the leather stick to my skin as I sat. Ellis sat down next to me, and Connor pulled over the chair from his desk, though he stayed standing.

“There were a few things we wanted to talk to you a
bout, if that’s all right, Della,” he said.

“Uh, sure.”

“Well, we really loved your mom a lot. I guess it shouldn’t have come as such a shock to us that she was… gone, but when you love someone you don’t want to think about something bad happening to her. Ah, the, uh, family has some plots at the local cemetery and we were hoping that you wouldn’t mind our getting her remains shipped here. We’d also like to have a funeral for her. She, uh, she had a lot of people who loved her who would want to pay their respects.” My uncle was having a hard time talking and even though it was
my
mother, I felt really bad for
him
; after all, he’d actually known her.

“That’s
okay. It’s just, they didn’t know who she was when she died so I don’t know what they did with her, like where they buried her and stuff.” It had never occurred to me to try and visit my mom’s grave. I didn’t even know if they had a name on her tombstone, or if she was cremated or something.

“Don
’t worry, we’ll take care of it,” Ellis said as she grabbed my hand as if to comfort me.

“There’s one other thing. I know that you don’t know us, but you’re family and family sticks together. At least ours does. If you don’t already have a place, we’d really like for you to stay here with us
,” Connor said, just as Cash had predicted.

“I was planning on staying at the house my mother left me
,” The two stared at me like I was a crazy person. “There’s a lot of work to do, I know, but it’s not that bad.”

“Well, you can at least stay here until the place is ready to be occupied. You can’t sleep at a construction site.” Ellis replied, in a very maternal manner that instantly put my defenses on high.

“It’s really not that bad. I slept there last night and I was fine until Cash barged, I mean, came in and woke me up,” I told them.

“
Della, I’ve been in that place, and I can’t tell you how happy I am that you plan on restoring it. But it’s really not the best place to live until it’s been fixed up a bit. The roof needs replacing, and who knows if the floors are safe to walk on. If you are really uncomfortable staying here, there’s a perfectly good bed and breakfast down the street, owned by one of our cousins so I’m sure she’d let you stay free of charge,” he said, clearly hoping I would change my mind.

The fact that it was run by yet another family member was not a mark in its favor. I may have been wrong about
their abandoning me, at least about Ellis and Connor, but I was still hesitant to rely on family just because of blood ties; I’d met a lot of kids in the system who were taken from their family and knew that a blood relation doesn’t automatically mean a good relation. Ellis and Connor, and yes, even Cash, seemed okay though.

“I don’t know guys…” I let myself trail off, my mind going a million miles a minute.

“Oh, of course you need to think about it. Why don’t you take the day to think, and let us know what you decide tonight at dinner? You are coming for dinner, right?” Ellis sounded so eager, I think she really just wanted to delay my saying no.

“I don’t have any other plans, so sure.” I couldn’t beli
eve I had just agreed to dinner. Yet again my timid plans for myself had fallen completely apart.

Before I walked out of the room, they wanted to make sure I was okay with
their calling a few people to them about me and my mom. When I mentioned that I had already met with Ed and John McCay the day before, Ellis laughed and said they should’ve answered the phone the night before when John called, and that by now the whole town probably already knew.

I went back to my house pretty soon after that, refusing the offer
of a ride. Cash called out that he’d come around to pick me up for dinner “whether I liked it or not” and I just waved him off as I walked down the street, stopping two houses down to take off my shoes so I could feel the sandy street beneath my feet.

Luke was already at the house, sitti
ng on the tailgate of his truck. In the excitement I had completely forgotten he said he was stopping by that morning.

“Where have you been off to
all morning?”

“Oh,
shit. Sorry Luke, I got invited to breakfast down the street. I forgot you said you were stopping by. I hope you haven’t been here too long.”

“
Watch your language.” He chided more familiarly than I was comfortable with. “Down the street? You wouldn’t have been over at Connor’s place, now would you? I thought you weren’t interested in being around your family quite yet.”

“Well, I wasn’t interested. But Cash is an evil heathen, and he tricked me into coming… after barging in and waking me up this morning! Is family always so… ugh.” And I hopped up next to him and proceeded to tell him all about the morning
’s activities. He thought my lantern-battering was especially hilarious, and said he couldn’t wait to bring it up next time he saw Cash.

“So I was thinking, Della. You really ought to get an inspector out here and find out exactly what type of things need to be done before you get started, with a special look at the electrical end of things.”

“Do you think so? This job is going to be a lot more difficult than just a layer of paint, isn’t it? How much does an inspector cost, and when should I get one out here?”

“
Well here’s the thing,” he scratched the stubble on his chin, “A good friend of mine, we were in the same class in high school, well he’s an inspector-“

“G
reat! Do you think you could give him a call?” I wanted to get started right then.

“If you’d let me finish my sentence, you would have heard that I already did. In fact, he was free earlier this morning, and stopped by as a favor to me. I hope you don’t mind that we poked around inside a bit.” With that said, he reached into the cooler sitting behind him and pulled out a couple of lemonades, handing one of them to me. I really should
have been a little upset by his doing that without me; it was definitely overstepping my bounds. But it was really thoughtful, and helpful, and one less thing that I would have to worry about
or
pay for. I went ahead and forgave him, making sure he knew not to do something like that again.

“He gave me a list of things you need to look into. He said you need to get an electrician
and a plumber out here. Since the power and water aren’t on he couldn’t really test it, though he mentioned a few spots that need some definite updating.”

I looked at the list of things that needed attending
to, and knew without a doubt that I was in over my head. “Oh no! How much is all of this going to cost? How am I supposed to take care of all of this?” I had a fair amount more money than I had anticipated, but I really didn’t want to use it all up just repairing the place, and with the number of things on that list I was really concerned that I’d run out of cash before I ran out of projects.

“
Oh, it’s really not as bad as it looks. Most of these are just suggestions, and a lot of it you can do yourself. You already knew that the stairs need tending to, and the windows. There’s only one spot on the floor that needs replacing. Of course, depending on what the electrician and plumber say, that could add quite a few more dollars. And you’ll probably need a new HVAC unit—this one is at least 20 years old,” he said, as if that were good news.

“You aren’t making me feel better.”

“Oh, you’ll be fine. Good thing about a town like this, I know people who can help out, let you do some of the labor to offset the price. That’s what usually ends up costing so much, labor. I can order most of the supplies through my shop, so don’t you worry about that-“

“You’ve already done entirely too much for me, I can’t let you give me stuff from your store.”

“You really need to learn not to interrupt. I was going to tell you that I could order everything for you at the shop for a pretty good discount, if you wanted to work a few afternoons to pay off the difference. It’s tourist season and we get pretty busy over the weekends, and since I haven’t had the chance to hire anyone yet this summer you’d be doing me a favor.”

His offer wasn’t som
ething I could easily say no to. It sounded like the perfect solution. Luke was being so helpful, too helpful. My instincts told me to trust him, but they also told me he was hiding something. I decided to take him up on his offer, but remain wary until I found out what his secret agenda was.

Luke had to go back to work and open the shop, but before he left he handed me the cleaning things he’d promised.

I, however, did not spend my day cleaning. What was the point when some of the floor would need to be replaced? Instead I decided to do what any eighteen-year-old would do: go to the beach. Washing up the best I could with a washrag and bottled water, I pulled on a pair of cut-off shorts and a blue tank top, shoved my flip-flops into my back pack that I used as a purse, and headed out the door hoping to get to the other side of the island and see the ocean.

You’d think that walking across an island would take a while,
but only about 15 minutes later I could hear the waves. I remembered then that Luke had said the island was less than a mile wide. I would have known that if I had checked out a map before moving, but I somehow never got lost so I wasn’t worried about it. Either way, I was pleasantly surprised to make it there so fast.

Before taking a full look at the ocean, I stopped into a surf shop and grabbed a bathing
suit, something I’d not had since I was a kid. They were more expensive than I expected so I just grabbed the cheapest one I could find, changing into it in the restroom before heading across the street and getting my first good view of the Atlantic.

Thank goodness for my flip-flops
, because the sand was really friggin’ hot and even my toughened feet couldn’t handle the heat. When I reached the surf I immediately took them off, mesmerized by the beautiful sight ahead of me. I just stood there with my toes sinking into the coarse, shell-ridden sand as the waves lapped at my feet, the water so much warmer than my memories of the Pacific. Tearing my eyes away from the horizon, I walked away from the water, shimmied out of my shorts, and plunked my backpack in the sand. There were definitely people around, and I was wary of leaving my things unattended, but I needed to get into that water. It was calling to me, just like my old redwood would call to me in California, but infinitely stronger.

The surf
hugged my legs as I walked deeper and deeper into the ocean. When the water reached my thighs, I dove into the next wave and let the water push me to a standing position. With the salty taste of the Atlantic on my tongue, the sound of the waves crashing around me, and the feel of the breeze on my soaked skin, I felt something I had never experienced before; I felt that I had come home. I was more energized, more alive, and more
aware
than I’d ever been before. It was a heady experience.

Of course I didn’t get to bask in that wonderful feeli
ng for long before I realized I’d had a serious wardrobe malfunction. Diving into a wave in a halter one-piece has consequences. Thank goodness I was facing the horizon, otherwise a beach full of people would have gotten a good look at my, er, goodies. After I adjusted my suit I swam out a little further and just let myself float, rocked by the small swell of waves before they broke.

With the feel of the ocean
’s power on my back, and the warm sun on my face, I started to relax, probably for the first time in my life. It was nice to just
exist
, and at that moment I had no concerns, other than periodically checking to make sure my swim-suit was still where it belonged. Occasionally water would splash over my face, and I’d wipe my eyes to get the sting out, but other than that I didn’t really move for ages.

Eventually I entered into some sort of trance
; my body seemed to
feel
more, like the waves were going
inside
of me, and the sun and sky above me seemed brighter, as if I had removed sunglasses, except I wasn’t wearing any to begin with. I was more awake, yet relaxed to the point of dozing off, and just more
aware
. It’s a little hard to explain exactly, other than to say I felt like Myself with a capital M.

When my feet finally started dragging in the sand I
reluctantly stood up and got out of the water. I kicked myself for not bringing a towel and had to air dry as I walked down the beach to where my things were. My eyes were acting a little funny, because things still looked strange, especially the people on the beach, but I just assumed it was the salt water affecting them in a strange way.

In addition to things just being brighter than I was
used to my body felt strange. My feet tingled from the sand, but this time it wasn’t the heat. It was like my feet were
drinking
the sand, and the sensation spread to my skin and it felt like it was drinking the air. Pretty soon even my hair felt that way. You know that full feeling you get after drinking a lot of water? I felt like that, but instead of water it felt like I had drunk sunshine.

I promise I’m not crazy.

I finally got to my pile of things, scooped them up, then headed over to the outdoor shower to wash sand off my legs and feet, which reminded me that I hadn’t properly bathed since the morning before. Even though my swimsuit was still soaked, I slid on my shorts and took one last look at the ocean before heading back to the house.

Perfectly outlined o
n the horizon was a man standing knee-deep in the water. Typically I wouldn’t have paid him any attention, but he was standing in the water while wearing a pair of dark colored pants and a matching shirt, definitely not swim wear, and he seemed to be looking straight at me. I looked away for a moment, trying to figure out why his face seemed so familiar, but when I looked again he had disappeared.

Figuring my eyes were just playing tricks on me, I started down the street
still holding onto the relaxed sensation I had gained while floating in the ocean. I wasn’t in any particular hurry, and I wondered why my skin still felt funny before rationalizing that it was just an early symptom of sunburn since I hadn’t used any sunscreen. I was even more satisfied with this explanation when the strange feeling started slowly to subside as I continued to walked.

The walk took longer than necessary since I was using the time to think really hard about my uncle’s offer to live with them. I wanted an excuse to say no, any excuse, but I didn’t really have one. Pl
us, there were a million reasons why I should, including a few big ones: my house was basically unlivable for the near future, I couldn’t afford somewhere else, and I really
did
want to get to know my mother and the closest I could get to knowing
her
was by knowing the people who loved her. By the time I got back to my house I had decided to stay with Connor, at least for a little while.

It was a good thing I decided that, because my sneak-thief cousin was
already at my house and in the process of dumping my bags into the Jeep I had seen earlier at his house.

“You do realize it is illegal to break into someone
’s house, don’t you?”

“Come off it, I was expediting the moving proc
ess. Are these all your things?” He gestured to my bags.

“I haven’t agreed to move in yet, you know.”

“Like that’s necessary. Now, get in the car… unless you want to walk.” And he started pulling out of the driveway, causing me to use my grownup words and quickly run to the car door.

“Why do we have to be related?” I moaned while getting into the car, ignoring him when he started laughing at me even though I was secretly enjoying his behavior. It made me feel normal.
“How’d you know I was going to say yes?”

“I didn’t. I was going to convince you
if you tried to refuse though. How was the beach?” He glanced sideways at me.

Casual conversation wasn’t someth
ing I usually partook of, but Cash didn’t know that, so I gave it a try.

“The beach was great. What time is it? I must have been there for hours. It was so relaxing.” I really had no idea what time it was, but my internal
clock was saying it was about four p.m., and my internal clock was usually right.

“It’s
about six o’clock. I decided to come pick you up a little early to make sure you were all right, and so you could wash the ocean off of you.”

“
Six already?... I’m fine. I mean, it feels really strange to be moving in with you guys, but I’m fine. And a shower sounds great, thanks.” I was confused for a moment about how he knew I’d been to the beach, but considering the size of the island and the direction I’d come from I supposed even Cash had that much common sense.