Gathering of Shadows (A Darker Shade of Magic) (57 page)

They called this one the Grand Hall.

Lila had been in another ballroom, the night of the Masquerade—the Gold Hall—and it was impressive, with its stonework and metal. This had all of the splendor, the opulence, and then something
more.
Dozens of chandeliers hung from the vaulted ceiling several stories up and lit the space with refracted candlelight. Columns rose from the oak floor, adorned with spiral staircases that broke off onto walkways and led to galleries and alcoves set into the walls overhead.

In the center of the ballroom, raised on a dais, a quartet of musicians played. Their instruments varied, but they were all made from polished wood and strung with golden wire, and the players themselves were brushed with gold. They stood perfectly still, save for only the most necessary movements of their fingers.

What had Jinnar said about Prince Rhy? A flair for drama.

Lila scanned the cavernous ballroom, and caught sight of the prince moving between tables on the opposite side of the hall. There, by the balcony doors, she saw Alucard, bowing to a lovely Faroan in purple silk. Flirt.

She skirted the room, wondering how long it would take her to spot Kell in such a crowd. But within moments, she saw him, not on the dance floor or mingling among the tables, but overhead. He stood alone on one of the lower balconies, his lanky form draped over the rail. His tousled auburn hair glinted beneath the chandeliers, and he rolled a glass between his palms, seeming troubled. From this angle, she couldn’t see his eyes, but she imagined she could see the crease between them.

He looked as though he were looking for someone.

And Lila had a feeling that someone was
her.

She retreated into the safety of the column’s shadow, and for a few moments, she watched Kell watch the crowd. But she hadn’t put on a dress for the sake of wearing it, so she finally finished her drink, set the empty glass on the nearest table, and stepped out into the light.

As she did, a girl appeared at Kell’s side. The princess from Vesk. Her hand touched Kell’s shoulder, and Lila frowned. Was she even old enough to flirt like that? Christ, she looked like a
child.
Slim but round-faced, pretty but dimpled—
soft
—with a wreath of wood and silver atop her straw-blond braid.

Kell gave the princess a look, but he didn’t recoil from the touch, and she must have taken his stillness as an invitation, because she slipped her arm through his, and rested her head against his shoulder. Lila found her fingers itching for a knife, but then to her surprise, Kell’s gaze drifted past the girl, down to the ballroom, and landed on
her.

Kell tensed visibly.

So did Lila.

She watched as he said something to the princess and drew his arm free. The girl looked put out, but he didn’t give her a second glance—didn’t take his gaze from Lila—as he descended the stairs and came toward her, eyes dark, fists clenched at his side.

He opened his mouth, and Lila braced herself for an attack. But instead of yelling, Kell exhaled, held out his hand, and said, “Dance with me.”

It wasn’t a question. It was barely a request.

“I don’t know how to dance,” she said.

“I do,” he said simply, as if the act didn’t require two. But he was standing there, waiting, and eyes were beginning to turn their way, so she took his hand, and let him lead her out onto the shadowed edge of the ballroom floor. When the music kicked up, Kell’s fingers tightened around hers, his other hand found her waist, and they began to move; well, Kell began to move, and Lila moved with him, forcing herself to follow his lead, to trust in it.

She hadn’t been this close to him in months. Her skin hummed where he touched her. Was that normal? If magic coursed through everyone and everything, was this what it felt like when it found itself again?

They danced in silence for several long moments, spinning together and apart, a slower version of their cadence in the ring. And then, out of nowhere, Lila asked, “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you ask me to dance?”

He
almost
smiled. A ghost. A trick of the light. “So you couldn’t run away again before I said hello.”

“Hello,” said Lila.

“Hello,” said Kell. “Where have you been?”

Lila smirked. “Why, did you miss me?”

Kell opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again before finally managing to answer, “Yes.”

The word was low, and the sincerity caught her off guard. A blow beneath her ribs. “What,” she fumbled, “the life of a royal no longer to your tastes?” But the truth was, she’d missed him, too. Missed his stubbornness and his moods and his constant frown. Missed his eyes, one crisp blue, the other glossy black.

“You look …” he started, then trailed off.

“Ridiculous?”

“Incredible.”

Lila frowned. “You don’t,” she said, seeing the shadows under his eyes, the sadness in them. “What’s wrong, Kell?”

He tensed slightly, but he didn’t let go. He took a breath, as if formulating a lie, but when he exhaled, the truth came out. “Ever since that night, I haven’t felt … I thought competing would help, but it only made it worse. I feel like I’m suffocating. I know you think it’s madness, that I have everything I need, but I watched a king wither and die inside a castle.” He looked down, as if he could see the problem through his shirt. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“Life,” she said, as they spun around the floor. “And death.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone thinks I have a death wish, you know? But I don’t want to die—dying is easy. No, I want to
live
, but getting close to death is the only way to feel alive. And once you do, it makes you realize that everything you were doing before wasn’t
actually
living. It was just making do. Call me crazy, but I think we do the best living when the stakes are high.”

“You’re crazy,” said Kell.

She laughed softly. “Who knows? Maybe the world’s gone crooked. Maybe you’re still possessed. Or maybe you just got a taste of what it really means to be alive. Take it from someone who’s had her fair share of close calls. You almost died, Kell. So now you know what it feels like to
live.
To fear for that life. To fight for it. And once you know, well, there’s no going back.”

His voice was unsteady. “What do I do?”

“I’m the wrong person to ask,” she said. “I just run away.”

“Running sounds good.”

“Then run,” she said. He stifled a laugh, but she was serious. “The thing about freedom, Kell? It doesn’t come naturally. Almost no one has it handed to them. I’m free because I fought for it. You’re supposed to be the most powerful magician in all the worlds. If you don’t want to be here, then go.”

The music picked up, and they came together, drew apart.

“I made Rhy a promise,” said Kell as they turned, carried along by the dance. “That I would stand at his side when he was king.”

She shrugged. “Last time I checked, he’s not on the throne yet. Look, I stay here because I have nothing to go back to. There’s no reason that once you leave, you can’t return. Maybe you simply need to stretch your legs. Live a little. See the world. Then you can come back and settle down, and you and Rhy can live happily ever after.”

He snorted.

“But, Kell …” she said, sobering, “… don’t do what I did.”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.”

She thought of Barron, the silver watch in the bottom of her coat. “If you decide to leave—when you decide to leave—don’t do it without saying good-bye.”

The music struck its final notes, and Kell spun Lila into his arms. Their bodies tangled, and both held their breath. The last time they’d embraced, they were bruised and bloody and about to be arrested. That had felt real; this felt like a fantasy.

Over Kell’s shoulder, Lila saw the Princess of Vesk at the edge of the room, surrounded by gentlemen, and staring daggers at
her.
Lila flashed a smile and let Kell lead her off the floor, between a pair of columns.

“So, Kamerov?” she said as they found a quiet place to talk.

His grip tightened on her. “No one knows. They
can’t
.”

She shot him a withering look. “Do I really strike you as the telling type?” she asked. Kell said nothing, only examined her with that strange two-toned gaze, as if he expected her to disappear. “So …” she said, plucking a glass of sparkling wine from a passing tray, “did you kill the real Kamerov?”

“What? Of course not. He’s a fiction.” His brow furrowed. “Did
you
kill the real Elsor?”

Lila shook her head. “He’s on a boat headed for Denolar. Or was it Delo—”

“
Delonar
?” snapped Kell, shaking his head. “Saints, what were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” she said, honestly. “I don’t understand what I am, how I’m alive, what I can do. I guess I just wanted to see.”

“You didn’t have to enter the most visible tournament in the three empires to test your fledgling abilities.”

“But it’s been fun.”

“Lila,” he said softly, and for once, his voice didn’t sound angry. Tense, yes, but not mad. Had he ever said her name like that? It sounded almost like longing.

“Yes?” she asked, her breath tight.

“You have to withdraw.”

And just like that, the warmth between them shattered, replaced by the Kell she remembered, stubborn and righteous.

“No, I don’t,” she said.

“You can’t possibly continue.”

“I’ve made it this far. I’m not dropping out.”

“Lila—”

“What are you going to do, Kell? Have me arrested?”

“I should.”

“But I’m not Stasion Elsor,” she said, gesturing down to the ball gown. “I’m Delilah Bard.” Truth really was the best disguise. His frown deepened. “Come on, don’t be a sore loser.”

“I threw the match,” he snapped. “And even if I hadn’t, you
can’t
move on.”

“I can, and I will.”

“It’s too dangerous. If you defeat Rul, you’ll be in the final three. You’ll be unmasked. This ruse of yours might work from a distance, but do you honestly think no one will notice who you are—and who you’re not—if you show your face? Besides, I saw you in the ring today—”

“When I
won
?”

“When you
faltered
.”

“I’ve made it this far.”

“I felt your power slip. I saw the pain written on your face.”

“That had nothing to do with our match—”

“What happens if you lose control?”

“I won’t.”

“Do you remember the cardinal rule of magic?” he pressed.
“Power in Balance, Balance in Power.”
He lifted her hand, frowning at the veins on the back. They were darker than they should have been. “I don’t think you’re balancing. You’re taking and using, and it’s going to catch up with you.”

Lila stiffened with annoyance. “Which is it, Kell? Are you angry at me, or worried about me, or happy to see me? Because I can’t keep up.”

He sighed. “I’m all of those things. Lila, I …” But he trailed off as he caught sight of something behind her. She watched the light go out of his eyes, his jaw clench.

“Ah, there you are, Bard,” came a familiar voice, and she turned to see Alucard striding over. “Saints, is that a
dress
you’re in? The crew will never believe it.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” growled Kell.

Alucard saw him, and stopped. He made a sound halfway between a chuckle and a cough. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt—”

“It’s fine, Captain,” said Lila at the same time Kell growled, “Go away, Emery.”

Lila and Kell looked at each other, confused.

“You
know
him?” demanded Kell.

Alucard straightened. “Of course she does. Bard works for me aboard the
Night Spire
.”

“I’m his best thief,” said Lila.

“Bard,” chided Alucard, “we don’t call it thieving in the presence of the crown.”

Kell, meanwhile, appeared to be losing his mind. “No,” he muttered, running a hand through his copper hair. “No. No. There are
dozens
.”

“Kell?” she asked, moving to touch his arm.

He shook her off.
“Dozens
of ships, Lila! And you had to climb aboard
his
.”

“I’m sorry,” she shot back, bristling, “I was under the impression that I was free to do as I pleased.”

“To be fair,” added Alucard, “I think she was planning to steal it and slit my throat.”

“Then why didn’t you?” snarled Kell, spinning on her. “You’re always so eager to slash and stab, why couldn’t you have stabbed
him
?”

Alucard leaned in. “I think she’s growing fond of me.”

“
She
can speak for herself,” shot Lila. She twisted toward Kell. “Why are you so upset?”

“Because Alucard Emery is a worthless noble with too much charm and too little honor, and you chose to go with
him
.” The words cut through the air as Rhy rounded the corner.

“What on earth are you all shouting about …” The prince trailed off as he saw Kell, Lila, and Alucard huddled there. “Lila!” he said cheerfully. “So you aren’t a figment of my brother’s imagination after all.”

“Hello, Rhy,” she said with a crooked smile. She turned toward Kell, but he was already storming out of the ballroom.

The prince sighed. “What have you done now, Alucard?”

“Nothing,” said the captain, innocently.

Rhy turned to go after Kell, but Lila stepped ahead of him. “I’ll take care of it.”

* * *

Kell shoved open a pair of patio doors. For a moment he just stood there, letting the icy air press against his skin. And then, when the biting cold wasn’t enough to douse his frustration, he plunged out into the winter night.

A hand caught his as he stepped onto the balcony, and he knew without turning back that it was hers. Lila’s fingertips burned with heat, and his skin caught the spark. He didn’t look back.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hello,” he said, the word a rasp.

He continued forward onto the balcony, her hand loosely twined with his. The cold wind stilled around them as they reached the edge.