Gatefather (6 page)

“Nobody,” said Wad, “as long as you've got your brother trapped inside you.”

Wad stepped back into the Great Gate and arrived in the glade with Ced and the treemage. He immediately ate the gates that comprised the Great Gate, then saw that the two men were watching him intently.

“Just me,” said Wad. “I know Danny sensed it when the Great Gate was made, but he didn't make a gate or try to find me any other way. As far as I can tell, he hid it from the Belmage.”

“Is that even possible?” asked the treemage.

“No,” said Wad. “But then, Danny's the most powerful gatemage in all of human history. Just because other mages couldn't resist the Belmage doesn't mean that Danny can't.”

And then Wad thought: What kind of mage has Eluik become, after the things he did in the caves to comfort his brother and, apparently, Anonoei? How can I be sure he doesn't know what he's talking about? And how do I know that in the moment of her death, Anonoei couldn't possibly have leapt, inself
and
outself, from her dying body into the living flesh of Bexoi? How do I know what's possible anymore?

“What are you thinking about?” asked the treemage.

“How ignorant I am,” said Wad. “And how many new things there are in the world.”

“Your face looked like hope,” said Ced.

“Yes,” said Wad. “That would be right.”

“What are you hoping for?” asked Ced.

“That maybe one of the people that I've loved might not be dead.”

“That would be cool,” said Ced.

“Why does he always talk in temperatures?” asked the treemage. “It makes no sense.”

“He's from Mittlegard,” said Wad. “And so am I. It makes us strange.”

“Did you get rid of that Great Gate?” asked the treemage.

“I did,” said Wad.

“The Belmage wouldn't have done that,” said the treemage. “So I guess that I won't kill you this time.”

“Thanks,” said Wad. “I'm going to rest now until Bexoi is alone again.”

“Going to kill her now?” asked Ced.

“Maybe I won't kill her after all,” said Wad.

“That's good,” said the treemage. “People are so shallow rooted. It's a shame to cut them down. They don't grow back.”

 

3

Pat knew it was safer to stay away from Danny. Mostly because it wasn't really Danny. Danny's face, but not the same smile, not really—now he was too knowing, condescending like one of the jock athletes. It only made her angry and afraid and sick at heart and
lonely
to see him walking through the halls at school or sitting there in class, looking bored or annoyed or amused. None of it was Danny and she missed him.

Missed him and wanted to do something to help him, but there was nothing she could do.

At least he no longer came and sat at the same lunch table as Pat and her friends. Hal and Wheeler still came, but that was all right, even though before Danny they would never have dared—Laurette would have withered them with a look. Now, though, everybody seemed so miserable that who would
want
to sit with them? Just pack the food into their faces, that's all they did.

Then it was Friday and Hal and Wheeler either cut school or had some errand or assignment during lunch because they weren't there, it was just Laurette and Sin and Xena sitting with Pat at one end of their table. Nobody else could hear them—nobody would try to listen anyway—and it soon became clear to Pat that the other three were working up the courage to say something.

“Just say it,” said Pat.

“Say what?” said Xena and Sin at the same time.

“Whatever it is none of you has the guts to say,” said Pat. “The longer you take, the worse I expect it to be.”

“Well it's bad,” said Laurette, “and you're going to hate us.”

And then Pat guessed what it was. “Danny,” she said. “You made a play for him and you don't have the guts to tell me.”

“But we
didn't
,” said Xena miserably.

“We would never,” said Sin.

“Yes, but not the way you think,” said Laurette. “We were all flirty with him. Offering things we didn't mean to do—”

Xena rolled her eyes.

“OK, so
Xena
meant to,” said Laurette. “But after you took us to DC and told us that stuff with Stone—”

“I thought we didn't talk about things like that here at school,” said Pat.

“Do we have to go to the place even to
breathe
?” asked Xena.

“We didn't want to make a big deal out of this,” said Sin.

“It's a big deal,” said Laurette. “But we didn't understand it till that conversation. We knew something was weird but—”

“And we didn't know about each other until after,” said Xena.

“We each thought we were the only one,” said Sin.

Pat knew they'd never get it out unless she helped. “You said it wasn't the way I think,” said Pat. “So whatever you think I think, what is it really?”

“He came on to us,” said Laurette.

“Not
us
like a
group
,” said Xena.

“That would be perverted,” said Sin.

“Why don't you each tell me what happened one at a time?” said Pat.

They all looked miserable and nodded and then just sat there, saying nothing.

“‘One at a time,'” said Pat. “Not ‘nobody at once.'”

“I can't,” said Xena.

“I can,” said Laurette. “He showed up at my door. I was upstairs studying—yes, I do that sometimes, I like getting good grades—and the doorbell rings and then my mom calls from downstairs, ‘Laurette, honey, Pat's boyfriend is here to study with you,' which was bizarre because
a
, Danny doesn't study, and
b
, the only way my mom would know he was your boyfriend is if that's how he introduced himself and I thought you two were being all stealthy about it.”

“I didn't know that's what we were,” said Pat. “But how nice. Go on.”

“So he comes upstairs and closes my bedroom door behind him and I say, ‘Why did you come to the front door?' and he just reaches down and pulls me up from my chair and
kisses
me.”

Pat kept her face from showing anything. She knew it wasn't Danny, and she wasn't surprised that the Belmage would try something like that. But she also knew that Laurette would not have put up much of a fight.

“So when he came up for air I said, ‘I'm not sure that's something Pat's boyfriend ought to be doing.'”

“How loyal of you,” said Pat.

“I
was
loyal. Trying to be. But he says, ‘It's not like that, and if she doesn't know, do
you
care?' or something like that, and then—I swear this is true—it was almost like magic, he gets his hands at my waist and in like two moves he has me”—and now she whispered—“naked.”

“Two moves,” said Pat.

“He's
strong
,” said Laurette. “And he didn't tear anything or pop any buttons and I couldn't believe it. And I was cold. For about a second. Because then he's got me on the bed and he's all over me and—”

“Are you going to say you were raped?” asked Pat. She almost added, Like Nicki Lieder, but decided not to say her name out loud. Nicki had been possessed by the Belmage and then she was protecting herself from her father's wrath and she didn't accuse Danny so Pat couldn't blame her for anything. Laurette, on the other hand …

“No,” said Laurette.

“That's just it,” said Xena.

“Oh, were you there?” Pat asked her.

“Same thing with all of us,” said Sin. “Same move, same everything—”

“Except I was home alone and he did it right there at the front door,” said Xena. “Didn't even
close
the door before he had me starkers.”

“Disrobed,” said Sin.

“I'm really trying to figure out why you think I want to hear about his advanced skills,” said Pat.

“Because it matters,” said Laurette, “so if these two will let me tell it, since they
didn't
want to say anything
till
I started telling—”

“Go,” said Sin. “It's all yours.”

“He couldn't do it,” said Laurette. “He wasn't, like, ready.”

The other two nodded.

“He was impotent,” said Pat, not believing it.

“Yes,” said Laurette. “It was all his idea, and it's not like we were fighting him off or anything—you're right, we're terrible people and disloyal friends and you should hate us forever or I hope for maybe just a year or a week or maybe not at all because it took us completely by surprise and then
nothing
happened.”

“You're naked on the bed with the man I'm in love with,” said Pat.

“Living room carpet,” corrected Xena.

“Not exactly nothing,” said Pat.

“Nothing,” said Laurette. “And believe me,
he
was more surprised than we were. It's like he couldn't believe it.”

“He must have come to me last,” said Sin, “because he
did
look like he expected it and he was totally pissed off.”

“At
me
, I thought,” said Xena, “and I said, ‘You think I'm fat and ugly,' and he says, ‘How are you doing this?' and I realize he isn't talking to me. He's talking to himself.”

“Only now we realize that he was talking to Danny,” said Laurette. “Do you see why this matters? Danny didn't like what he was doing—because he really
is
in love with you.”

“Or he thinks I'm ugly,” said Xena.

“So Danny found a way to make it so his body couldn't do the job,” said Sin. “He's still in there, and he's got a little bit of control.”

Pat couldn't help it. Her eyes filled with tears and she covered her face with her hands.

“What are you doing?” asked Xena.

“Pat doesn't cry,” said Sin.

“Shut up,” said Pat. “Just for a minute here, eat your stupid carrot cake.”

“I hate the carrot cake,” said Xena. “And I like
all
cake, so you
know
it's bad.”

“She wants us to give her a second,” said Laurette.

“A minute, actually,” said Sin.

Pat took her hands away from her eyes. Emotions under control. “You're right,” she said. “That's good news. Danny's still in there and he's doing something that victims of the Belmage aren't supposed to be able to do.”

“What?” asked Xena.

“Resisting him,” said Laurette. “Don't you even understand why we're telling her?”

“I just thought we were confessing,” said Xena.

“Resisting,” said Pat. “The Belmage isn't completely controlling things.”

Xena looked like it was finally dawning on her. “So it was the Belmage who was trying to … whatever … to me! Not Danny at all.”

“Quiet,” said Laurette fiercely. “This is supposed to be a private conversation, for pete's sake.”

“Nobody understands what we're talking about,” said Xena.

“They know who Danny is and that we're friends with him,” whispered Laurette.

“But they don't know what ‘whatever' is,” said Xena.

“Anybody who hasn't had a frontal lobotomy knows exactly what ‘whatever' is,” said Sin.

“Except I don't know what a full frontal bottomy is,” said Xena, “only it sounds really dirty. And kind of hard to do.”

“Was there anything else?” asked Pat. “When he made his play and failed?”

“No, he just got mad and left,” said Laurette.

“Chewing himself out,” said Sin.

“Chewing
Danny
out,” said Xena, full of newfound understanding.

“If that's all, then I think we're done here,” said Pat. She got up from the table, shouldered her purse, and picked up her tray.

The others started to get up.

“No,” said Pat. “You stay here till I'm gone.”

“What, are you playing spy or something?” asked Laurette.

“I'm not playing,” said Pat. “I sat down here to have lunch with my friends. Only now I know I don't have friends. So I'm leaving, and you're staying.”

“Come on,” said Sin. “Nothing happened.”

“Not by
your
choice,” said Pat.

“True,” said Laurette softly. “But Pat—”

“Stay away from me,” said Pat. Then she dumped the garbage and returned the tray and left the cafeteria, trying not to show any emotion to anybody because it was none of their business.

She didn't go on to her next class. Instead she walked out of school and kept on walking, not to the place up in the woods and not home, either, but down the road and on and on, mile after mile. Not her most comfortable shoes today, but she didn't actually mind a little pinching or the blisters that were almost certainly forming. It would be good to feel some pain, now that Danny had lost the power to pass them through gates and heal them.

Though of course she could always pass through the gate on the amulet in her pocket. It was thoughtful of Danny to provide for emergencies. Except for his own emergency. With that, he was completely on his own.

Her thoughts raced everywhere but kept coming back to that. Danny is completely alone. The only time he comes to his friends is when the Belmage is trying to force him to have sex with them, and
then
all Danny can do is protect them—always protecting other people—but he can't do anything to save himself.

And what do I do? Supposedly his girlfriend who supposedly loves him? I get jealous of my stupid friends for acting exactly the way I would have predicted they'd act, and as for Danny, I completely stay away from him.