Garden of Angels (10 page)

My mother read my mind. She lifted my chin and peered into my eyes, her gaze steady and strong. “Do not wish away your womanhood, Darcy Rebecca. Someday, when your time comes, you will revel in your femininity. Being a woman is a most wonderful gift from God. Trust me on this.”

I nodded, but my chin was trembling. My mother held me and I felt the hollow place on her chest press against me while I wept.

Fourteen

Barry was granted a weeklong furlough so that he could marry Adel and have a short honeymoon, a flight to New York to visit his family. The wedding, however, took on a life of its own and the guest list grew like dandelions in spring grass. The details were swallowing us whole, so I made a giant chart to keep track of the plans for the weeks before and after the wedding. I hung it in the kitchen for everybody to see.

Friday: Darcy out of school for Christmas break. Adel’s
last day of work at the bank.

Saturday: Call Carole for instructions. Follow her instructions.

Sunday: 11:00 A.M.—Church. Call Carole/decorating
party at fellowship hall (no teen group meeting).

Monday: Barry rents car and picks up his parents at the
airport.

Tuesday: Barry and parents drive to Conners. NOTE:

Christmas Eve!!! Dinner for all of us at our house
(Carole cooks).

7:00 P.M.—Church candlelight service.

9:00 P.M.—Open Christmas presents.

Wednesday: CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!! WEDDING
DAY!!!!

8:00–1:00 P.M.—Eat, bathe, fuss with hair, eat,

fuss with makeup, just plain fuss with dresses, flowers,
all other stuff.

2:00 P.M.—The Wedding!!!

3:00–4:30 P.M.—The Reception.

5:00 P.M.—Return to house, Barry packs car, say

goodbye to Adel and Barry and his family.

7:50 P.M.—The newly reorganized Sorenson clan

flies to New York.

Quinlin clan crashes!

Monday—(December 30): Adel and Barry back from
honeymoon.

2:00 P.M.—Adel and Barry arrive in Conners to

pack Adel’s belongings and return to army base (where
they will live happily ever after and until Barry gets sent
to parts as yet unknown).

Monday—(January 6, 1975): School starts.

Chart subject to change without notice.

Signed: Darcy Quinlin, creative director and resident
sister to the bride

We probably couldn’t have managed if it hadn’t been for Carole and Mama’s network of friends. Carole was Mama’s right hand, which was absolutely necessary, because the closer Adel got to her big day, the more she ceased to function as a productive part of the team. “Mama!” she’d wail. “A Christmas wedding—what was I thinking? Why didn’t you stop me?”

And Mama would look up from whatever she was doing and say, “Wild horses couldn’t have stopped you, Adel. Now go help Carole.”

By Christmas Eve, things were running pretty smoothly. We did a quick rehearsal in the afternoon, then ate supper with Barry’s folks, whom I liked but could hardly understand due to their thick New York accents. We spent a lot of time saying “Pardon me” and “Could you say again?” and “Sorry, didn’t catch your meaning.” After dinner, we attended church and came home for dessert and coffee, and then Barry drove his folks to the parsonage to stay with Jim and Carole for the night because there were no motels in Conners and only a boardinghouse where passersthrough stayed, which Mama didn’t consider “fit.” Barry returned to the house because he was staying in my room as he had at Thanksgiving, and, together, we opened Christmas presents.

I had known it would be a small Christmas, what with the wedding and all, so I was totally surprised when Mama and Papa gave me exactly what I had wanted—a new portable stereo record player, the kind with a tape deck in it. I’d used Adel’s old player for years and it was wearing out.

My surprise showed because Adel said, “Why, Darcy, were you afraid Santa might pass you by?”

“Actually, I was afraid Santa would take one peek through the window and go away.”

The living room was stacked high with gifts. Not only because it was Christmas, but also because people were sending wedding presents. Papa had set up a table for the wedding loot—all unopened because Adel had been waiting for Barry to arrive—and the table was heaped and overflowing onto the floor. “It’ll take you a month to open all of them,” I said, gesturing at the table.

“Opening presents wasn’t on the kitchen chart,” Barry said with a straight face. “We’ll have to do it when we get back from our honeymoon.”

“What’s your apartment like?” Mama asked.

“It’s near the base where plenty of military couples rent,” Barry answered. “We’ll take a furnished place until we know where the army’s going to send me. I should get my orders soon.”

“In the meantime, we’ll leave our new things here,” Adel added. “Once we know where we’re going, the army will ship it for us.”

The room went quiet as the magnitude of what was happening pressed against us. Adel was leaving home and perhaps going very far away. Like seeds in the wind, our family was being scattered.

Papa broke the mood when he bent down and retrieved a slim box from under the tree. “I believe this has your name on it, Mrs. Quinlin.”

“For me?” Mama smiled, delighted.

“My one and only,” Papa said.

She opened the box and drew out a diamond bracelet that made the rest of us gawk. It sparkled in the light from the tree. “Oh, my,” Mama whispered. “It’s stunning.” She kissed Papa and hugged him. “Graham, you shouldn’t have.”

“Yes, I should have.” He fastened the bracelet around her wrist. “This is what you have to look forward to, Barry. Spending half a year’s salary just to see your beloved’s face light up.”

“Seems worth every penny,” Barry said, squeezing Adel’s hand.

Later, when it appeared that everything had been opened and we were starting upstairs, Barry handed me one last box. “This is specially for you, Darcy. It’s not exactly a Christmas present, but it’s something I want you to have.”

Mystified, I opened it and pulled out a scrapbook, filled with writing and photographs of soldiers. “Who are they?”

“This is my brother’s. I had Mom bring it. It’s pictures from his tour of duty in Vietnam.”

My breath caught. “Really?”

“I thought you could use it for that government project you’re doing. You can look it over later. These photos tell a story you might not have gotten through your other research.”

“Won’t he miss it?”

“Not now. I’ll get it back from you once school’s out. Take care of it, okay?”

“With my life,” I declared. “Thank you, Barry. Thank you
so much.
”

His expression was one of sadness. “Someday, maybe these veterans will be honored the way they should have been when they came home, instead of being spit on. Who knows? Maybe someday we’ll even build a memorial to them.”

I hugged the book to my chest and hurried up the stairs. From the back of the hallway, I saw a light coming from my parents’ bedroom and decided I’d be the first to say merry Christmas, for by now it was past midnight. The door was ajar, but before I could knock, I heard Papa’s voice sounding imploring and respectful. I knew at once that he was praying. Usually, he prayed aloud at church meetings, or at the table before meals. Once, when I’d been sick as a child, he’d knelt by my bed and prayed for me, and the very next morning I woke up fever free. Unable to stop myself, I peeked around the doorjamb.

Papa was on his knees beside the bed where Mama lay. His head was bowed and his hands were clasped around hers. Mama’s eyes were closed. Lamplight bathed them both in a shimmer of gold. Papa was saying, “And bless Adel’s wedding day, dear Lord. Let her and Barry have a long and fruitful marriage. And one more thing I ask, Heavenly Father . . . in the name of Jesus, let my beloved wife have a happy and pain-free day.”

I didn’t want to break the spell, so I backed quietly away from the door. I returned to Adel’s room down the hall, whispering my papa’s prayer with every step, trying to hold back my tears.

Christmas day dawned bright and sunny, but bitter cold. Carole arrived at the house real early, and the first thing she did was make Papa and Barry leave. Something about the groom not seeing the bride before the ceremony, which didn’t make much sense to me. They grabbed up their wedding clothes and headed to the parsonage to have breakfast with Barry’s folks.

Sandy arrived, and she and Adel commenced to scurrying around like Chicken Little. Carole told Mama to stay in bed awhile longer, but she wouldn’t. “I want to help,” Mama said. “I feel just fine.” So Carole sat her down to make floral arrangements for the reception tables from roses and white poinsettias sent over by the florist.

Around noon, Adel sat me down and started applying makeup while Sandy did my hair. Every few minutes, Adel would say, “Stop squirming, Darcy, or you’ll look like a clown. I can’t hit a moving target.”

At some point we were all ready. Papa came home with Simon Ledbetter, the photographer, who took all kinds of photographs of us. He posed us on the stairs, Adel at the foot, holding her bouquet, with her long train cascading onto the floor, then me one step up, and Mama another step higher. Mama was dressed in pale blue wool, a matching turban wrapped around her head and a sparkly pin set in it. She wore her new diamond bracelet too. Papa said, “Three of the best-looking women in all of Georgia. And they’re all mine— at least for another hour.”

Somehow, we all got to the church. Once there, I almost fainted over the size of the crowd. “What happened to your ‘little wedding’?” I asked Adel as we peeked through the curtain in the back of the church.

She looked bewildered. “I really don’t know.”

My heart gave a jump when I saw Jason sitting alone in one of the pews. It hadn’t occurred to me that he might come. He was dressed in a suit and looked good enough to make my knees go weak. I silently prayed that I wouldn’t trip and make a fool of myself preceding Adel up the aisle.

The church had never looked prettier. Red and white poinsettias adorned the altar area along with a huge Christmas tree off to the side, wreaths at the end of each pew and two white candelabras ablaze with candles. By the time the wedding music started, I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up. “Don’t spoil my wedding,” Adel hissed in my ear, ever sympathetic to me.

“Go on, honey,” Papa urged more kindly. “We’ll be right behind you.”

I walked slowly down the aisle, looking straight ahead, my hands so cold I couldn’t feel them and my knees knocking. I took my place at the front of the church and watched Sandy, then Adel and Papa, come up the aisle. I had to admit Adel was beautiful, and the look on Barry’s face spoke of pure love. Once Papa handed Adel over, he went to sit with Mama. I could see that she was crying. I listened to Adel and Barry say their vows, and before I knew it, the ceremony was over and I was at the back of the church, hugging and congratulating Barry and Adel, and the guests were pouring out the doors.

I missed Becky Sue. I wanted a friend, but only adults swarmed around me. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned to face Jason. “You look outstanding,” he said.

I felt my face grow warm. “Thank you. I didn’t know you were coming. But I’m glad you did.”

He said, “Your mother told Carole I should come. So I did.”

Someone called me to come back up front for proper photographs.

“I’ll see you later,” he said.

I could have floated into the picture-taking session. I hoped people would take the smile on my face to mean that I was happy for my sister, which I was, of course. But I was happy for myself also. Not only had the wedding gone perfectly, but Jason had shown up and told me I looked “outstanding.” I marveled at how just a simple word from the right person could make me feel like I was glowing from the inside out and walking on clouds at the same time.

Fifteen

Jason didn’t stay at the reception long. I didn’t blame him because it was dull as dishwater, but it made me mad because he’d cut out when I’d been looking forward to hanging out with him. I stayed in the fellowship hall because it was required, but just as soon as Adel and Barry fed each other wedding cake, I put on my coat, hitched up my skirt and started walking home. I realized it was a mistake after two blocks in the high heels dyed to match my dress.

The weather grew colder and a wind kicked up, and although I was freezing, I was stewing inside at the same time. Jason could have stuck around to keep me company instead of running off, but he hadn’t. I told myself I was stupid to care about him, because he’d never care about me. Lost in thought, I stepped off a curb and Jason cut across my path with his motorcycle.

“Climb on,” he said. “Your face is as blue as your dress.”

I teetered between pain and desire. “I’ve never ridden on a cycle. Not sure I know how.”

“Just ease on the back. Keep your legs off the exhaust pipe and put your arms around me.”

It took a few tries for me to balance behind him sitting sidesaddle. I linked my arms around him gingerly, determined not to enjoy being so close to him, but the second he kicked off, my arms tightened and I hung on for dear life. The wind whipped through my carefully prepared hair, and despite my chattering teeth, I felt exhilarated. The ride was over in far too short a time. He pulled up in our driveway, parked the cycle at the side of the house and followed me inside. In the entrance hall, he took both my hands in his and rolled them briskly, and soon I could feel warmth creeping into them again. I heard the ticking of the grandfather clock and realized that we were there alone.

His proximity was having quite an effect on me, and I stepped away. “I’ll change clothes.”

“No.” He caught my hand. “Leave the dress on. I like looking at you in it.”

Any anger I’d felt toward him evaporated like water on a hot stove.
He likes me in the dress
. “All right,” I said.

“But you might want to fix your hair.”

I hurried upstairs and into Adel’s room, where I kicked off the heels and slipped on my comfortable clogs. When I looked in the mirror, I almost gagged. My hair looked as if it had been attacked with an eggbeater. I quickly ripped out the pins and arrangement of curls and brushed out the hair spray. I took some deep breaths and told my reflection, “Steady, Darcy. Slow down and act like you couldn’t care less that Jason is waiting for you downstairs. Don’t make a fool of yourself.”

I found Jason in the living room in front of our Christmas tree.

“Here I am,” I said, stating the obvious.

He checked me out from head to toe, then grinned. “Better.” He walked to the mantel and studied the family pictures set between the evergreen garlands. “Carole says your family has lived in this town for over a hundred years.”

“That’s the truth.” I was glad he’d brought up a topic I knew about. I told him the story about my great-great-grandmother shooting herself a Yankee during the Civil War.

“She killed him?” He seemed impressed.

I jumped in, explaining, “Goodness no. Turned out he was a poor boy cut off from his platoon and foraging for food round the farm. So she felt obliged to nurse him back to health, and when he was well, he felt obliged to marry her— which was just as well, ’cause at the age of twentyfive, Great-great-grandmother was on her way to becoming an old maid. Not that she wasn’t pretty—she was. But because there were no marrying men left around these parts. Most were off fighting or had died in the war.”

He grinned at me and, feeling a rush of embarrassment, I stopped talking. “Did I say something amusing?”

“No, I just like to hear you talk,” he said.

“I know I talk too much. Sorry.” I walked to the sofa and sat on the edge of a cushion. “I reckon someone will be here shortly.” I almost added “to rescue you.”

He sat beside me. “The wedding was good,” he said. “I went to Carole and Jim’s, but I don’t remember much about it.”

An awkward silence settled between us. I lamented my lack of social skills, cursed my inability to make small talk in the effortless girly way Adel always did. I was wondering if I could check out a book on the subject from the library when he said, “You want a candy cane?” He pulled one from the pocket of his jacket.

“No thanks.” Suddenly it occurred to me that he was probably hungry, since he hadn’t remained at the reception. “You want to stay for supper?” I asked. “Carole brought over a casserole this morning so we could all have supper together before Barry, Adel and his folks leave for Atlanta. Sort of a Christmas dinner without the turkey and the trimmings.”

“I’ll stay,” he said, taking a bite of the candy. The aroma of peppermint filled the air. “You have some shaving cream?”

I gave him a blank stare.

“To decorate Barry’s car,” he said.

“Yes. Of course. Great idea. I’ll go get it.” I started to stand.

“Not yet,” he said, urging me to stay seated. He kept looking at me with his hot green eyes and sucking on the candy cane. I went gooey inside. “We can’t do the car until Barry gets here with it,” he added.

Of course. How stupid of me.

He reached out and tucked my fine blond hair behind my ear, and I thought I would melt into a puddle. I might have too, except that I heard the front door open and people clump into the front hall. “Darcy, you home?” Mama called.

I bounded off the sofa and into the hall. “Right here,” I said, breathless. “Jason’s here too.”

We walked back into the living room together. “Hello, Jason. So glad you’re here.” Mama turned to me. “Please help Carole in the kitchen. Adel’s gone up to change, and just as soon as everybody has had a bite to eat, they’ll get on the road.” She rubbed her temples and I saw that she looked pale.

“You all right?”

“Just a headache. I’m going to lie down till it passes. Long day,” she said with an apologetic smile. “But a good one.”

Worried about Mama, I said, “I’m on it. Don’t worry about a thing.”

“I’ll help too,” Jason offered quickly. “I’m used to my sister ordering me around the kitchen.”

Papa came into the room and held out his hand to Mama. “Come on, Joy. Let’s get you tucked in for a spell.”

“Please give everybody my apologies. And don’t let Adel leave without coming up to tell me goodbye,” she said over her shoulder as he led her up the stairs.

I watched, feeling scared. “Mama’s still not over her hospital stay,” I said to Jason, trying to console myself.

He didn’t answer, but he looked at me with a whole lot more compassion than I ever expected.

The meal tasted good, but we all felt Mama’s absence keenly. Eventually Adel went up to finish packing, and Jason and I drifted out to the car in the driveway with cans of shaving cream. The work went fast because Barry’s father and Papa joined in and soon we had the car plastered with Just Married signs, shaving cream hearts and other graffiti suitable for the occasion. When Adel saw it, she gave a shriek, but I could tell she wasn’t too bent out of shape. Barry just shook his head and loaded Adel’s bag.

“I want to tell Mama goodbye,” Adel said to Barry. “I’ll be right back.”

I hadn’t been invited, but I followed her up to Mama’s room anyway. The bedroom was lit only by a night-light glowing from a wall socket, and it smelled of Mama’s lavender-scented perfume. Her dress lay in an abandoned puddle on the floor.

“Mama?” Adel said softly.

“I’m awake. Come in.” Mama pulled herself upright in the bed and turned on the bedside lamp.

“You feeling better?” Adel asked, sitting down on the side of the bed. I stood behind her.

“Better,” Mama said.

I saw a cluster of bottles on the small table. I counted five prescription bottles and wondered if they were all for headaches.

“We’re leaving,” Adel said.

“You have a wonderful honeymoon and a safe trip.”

“We’ll be back on Monday to take my things to the apartment,” Adel said. “I don’t know how much time we have left before the army sends us away. I hope it doesn’t send us too far,” she added, which I thought peculiar. For years, Adel had talked about leaving Conners behind for good. Why was she recanting?

“You’ll never be far from my heart,” Mama said.

Adel began to cry, and Mama pulled her into her arms. “There, there, baby girl. You go start yourself a wonderful life.”

My sister’s tears upset me.

“Darcy will be here,” Mama said, peering up at me.

I nodded vigorously. “I will. I’ll be right here, Adel.”

Adel reached for a tissue. She stood, but I could see that she was trembling. “Thank you for my wonderful wedding. I’ll never forget it.”

She went to the door and I tagged along, because everyone was waiting downstairs with handfuls of rice and birdseed to toss at the bride and groom and I didn’t want to miss out. I could tell that Mama wanted to come for the rice-tossing ceremony but that she was hurting. She said, “You give your sister a nice send-off, Darcy, from both of us.”

“I can come back after they’re gone,” I suggested.

“No. Your papa will come up. He’ll be with me.” She shut her eyes and sank back down into the pillows. “Tell everyone I’m sorry I can’t join in today.”

Adel said, “They all understand.” She had paused at the door. The lamp threw shadows beyond its circle of light. Mama looked wilted and fragile in the bed, like a new flower bud hit by a sudden frost.

“Merry Christmas,” Adel said.

“Merry Christmas to both of you,” Mama said.

Out in the hallway, Adel took me by the shoulders. “You take care of her, Darcy. You’re the one with her now.”

“Of course I will,” I said. I couldn’t understand why Adel’s leaving should be so sad for her and Mama. Not that I wouldn’t miss my sister. Surely I would! But she’d be coming for visits.

Downstairs we put on our coats and lined up on the sidewalk. Barry and Adel ducked down and ran through our pelting of rice and seed. Barry’s folks got into the backseat of the car. The rest of us stood on the lawn and waved goodbye as they drove off, honking the horn. Not long afterward, everybody else left too. Then there was just me and Papa. He went up to be with Mama and I drifted aimlessly about the house before finally going upstairs and changing into my flannel nightgown.

Even though I knew my parents were in their room, I felt like I was all alone. I reviewed scenes of the afternoon—the wedding ceremony, the memory of my arms around Jason, the way he had warmed my hands in his, the sight of my sister telling Mama goodbye, then Adel driving off into another life—all the memories left me unbearably, inexplicably sad. Finally I carried my new portable record player into Adel’s room, slipped between the rumpled white sheets and put on my forty-five record of Olivia Newton-John singing “I Honestly Love You.” I cried as I listened to it over and over, while sadness soaked through me like summer rain and I fell asleep in my sister’s bed.