Chapter 15
I
awoke under a blue sky, with puffs of white cloud drifting lazily across it.
I wiped sleep out of my eyes and sat up, realizing I was alone.
I looked at the clock on the nightstand table. It was almost eleven. “Shit,” I said, jumping out of the bed. I had to be at the house for my meeting in two hours. I started looking for my clothes, and remembered I'd left them outside. I dashed over to the sliding glass door, opened it, and smiled at Dante. He was sitting at the picnic table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he called.
“Why didn't you wake me?” I picked up my shirt. It was still damp, and so were my shorts. I sat down at the picnic table. “Christ, I'm going to run home and get clothes.”
“Relax and have some coffee.” Dante picked up a carafe and poured another cup. “You've got plenty of time. Just go take a shower and drink some coffee.”
“I don't have anything to wear,” I moaned, taking a sip of coffee. “Hey, this is good.”
“Only the best for my baby.” He smiled. “Now, jump in the shower. You can borrow some of my clothes.”
“Your clothes won't fit me,” I replied. “And I have to run home, anywayâthe stuff I need for the meeting is there.”
He got up and picked up my clothes. “I'll put these in the dryer while you shower, and you can change when you get home.” He winked. “I put out a toothbrush for you in the bathroom. Now, go. You don't want to be late.”
I took the coffee with me into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I quickly lathered up and washed my hair. As I let the heavy spray pound my body, I felt like I could conquer the world.
This is it,
I thought, rinsing the lather out of my hair.
What are you going to do, Jordy? Are you going to fight to stay in the house or are you going to drop your bombs on them and walk out with your head held high?
I got out of the shower and dried off. I brushed my teeth. When I walked back into the bedroom, my clothes were lying on the bed. I slipped on my underwear and got dressed. According to the clock, it was now eleven-thirty. I sighed and headed back outside. Dante was back at the picnic table. I sat down and refilled my coffee cup. It really was good coffee. “Okay, I'm going to drink this cup and head home,” I said as Dante folded the newspaper and put it aside.
“It's going to be okay, don't be nervous,” Dante said. “You want to come over when you're finished?”
“Yeah.” I looked around the sanctuary. “I think I'll need some peace and serenity when I'm done.” I finished my cup of coffee and smiled at him. “I'll pack a bag when I'm at my place. Unless you don't want me to stay over?”
“I want you to move in.” Dante raised an eyebrow. “Whenever you're ready, just pack your things and you've got a home here.”
“I don't think I'm ready for that yet, but I know I'm going to be spending a lot of time here,” I replied. I stood, stretching and yawning. I leaned down and kissed him. “Last night was incredible, Dante. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he answered. “My thoughts will be with you this afternoon.” He winked. “Kick their ass.”
I laughed and then walked out to my car. There was no question about
that,
but I still didn't know what I wanted to do about being a brother. It really depended, I supposed, on how the meeting went. As I drove back to my apartment, I kept going back and forth. But ultimately I felt incredibly betrayed by the brotherhood. But it wasn't the
entire
brotherhood, eitherâonly a select few.
I didn't know what I was going to do. As I walked into my apartment, I finally decided it would depend on how things went at the meeting. The one thing I knew for sure was, after the meeting was over, I was going to
decimate
Chad. I gathered the documents I needed, shoved them into different file folders, and labeled each one with a Sharpie. I put them in the order I would most likely need them and placed them inside my backpack. I glanced at the clock. It was just after twelve. I'd started a pot of coffee when I'd first gotten home, so I got a cup and sat out on my balcony. I had about fifteen minutes before I had to head over there, and as I sat sipping my coffee, I went over all the arguments I was going to make. I looked over at the pool, and sure enough, Jeff was out there, lying on his stomach on a deck chair. I smiled. I really loved both Jeff and Blair. Maybe things would have been different if they both hadn't been so busy these last two semestersâbut then maybe it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. They were great guys and had a great relationship I envied.
There's no reason you and Dante can't have what they have,
I told myself. I smiled.
Chad and I would have never had what I have with DanteâI can't believe I was ever so crazy as to think I was in love with him.
It was partly my own fault. I had to take responsibility for my own actions, for my own behavior, or I was no better than Chad. I didn't hate himâokay, I did hate him, but not for what he'd done to me. I couldn't ever allow myself, no matter how forgiving I might want to be, to forget what he'd done to Jayâand what he'd done to Dante. He'd
hurt
them both in his drive to get at me, which was cowardly, malicious, and unforgivable.
But how is what he did any different than what you're about to do?
“The difference,” I said out loud, “is that Jay and Dante were innocents. The people I'm bringing down today aren't.”
And that was the bottom line.
My phone chirped, and I picked it up. The text was from Chris:
The meeting will be in the Chapter Room at 1, and you WILL be able to face your accusers.
“Perfect.” I smiled, finishing my coffee. I texted back:
I look forward to it. Thanks, Chris.
At a quarter till one I pulled into the Beta Kappa parking lot. No one was out playing basketball, and no one was sitting at the picnic tables in the backyard. I got out of the car and took a deep breath.
Judgment Day,
I thought, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. I thought about saying hello to Roger, seeing how things went with his new little brother, but decided against it. There'd be time for that after, and I needed to stay focused. As I walked up the sidewalk toward the back door to the foyer, I glanced up and saw Chad sitting in his window. He smirked at me and gave me a sarcastic wave. I smiled back and flipped him the bird.
Just about an hour or so, and you're getting yours, you fucking bitch,
I thought as I kept walking. The back door was open. The pledges, looking the worse for wear, were mopping up the Great Room. I flinched from the smell of sour beer. I waved them offâI didn't want to shake their hands and have them all ask me how my day was going. I did smile, though, at their obvious discomfort.
I was one of you not that long ago,
I thought,
and I hope this whole experience turns out better for you than it has for me. I hope you never get disillusioned the way I've been.
The door to the Chapter Room was open. Three brothers were already sitting in there when I walked in, and all three avoided looking at me. Bobby Dunlap wasn't a surpriseâI'd expected him to be one of the complaining brothers. Even Rees wasn't a shock to me. Of course Chad had put him up to itâbut Brandon? That was like being slapped in the face. He wouldn't look at me, and at least had the decency to turn red, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. The irony was, I'd felt bad including him in my file. Obviously those feelings had been wasted.
It wasn't a surprise that Chad was pulling the strings from backstage, either, while keeping his own hands clean.
That's what you think, Chad.
“How's that paper coming, Bobby?” I asked as I sat down.
“Fuck you,” he spat back at me. “You're getting exactly what you deserve, asshole.”
Brandon looked up, a puzzled look on his face. “What are you talking about?” He looked from Bobby back to me.
“He fucking hacked into my computer and deleted all my files,” Bobby hissed. “I ought to kick your ass.”
“You're welcome to try,” I shot back. “Nothing would give me greater pleasure than beating your sorry ass to a bloody pulp.” I folded my arms. “I've trained in mixed martial arts, Bobby. I'll break every fucking bone in your miserable body. Bring it on, bitch.”
He blanched, and I smiled. I hadn't trained in MMA. But one thing my dad always said, nine times out of ten, intimidation workedâespecially with cowards.
Brandon met my glance and bit his lower lip. He mouthed
sorry
to me, but I wasn't having any of it.
No, Brandon, I'm the one who's sorryâsorry for you. Sorry you're such a spineless piece of garbage that all Chad has to do is snap his fingers and you'll do his dirty work for him. You're pathetic, and I'm sorry I ever thought we were friends.
At precisely one o'clock, the Executive Council filed in, shutting the door behind them: president Chris Moore, looking grim; vice president Craig Yamamoto, slender and scowling; treasurer Dave Morton, who'd always been nice to me and looked like he wanted to be somewhere,
anywhere,
else; secretary Tim Haas, carrying the big ledger where he recorded all meetings for posterity; pledge marshal Eric Matthews, who gave me an encouraging look; and house manager Jason Spielman. They sat down in the chairs lined up at one end of the room behind two tables from the Great Room, and Chris had his presidential gavel.
Chris picked up the gavel and banged it. He cleared his throat. “We are here to hold a preliminary hearing to determine whether or not a full hearing before the brotherhood is necessary. Let the record show that the accused brother, Jordan Valentine, is present, as well as his accusers, brothers Robert Dunlap, Brandon Benson, and Rees Davidson. The charges against Brother Valentine are, first, conduct unbecoming to a brother of Beta Kappa; second, conduct reflecting negatively on the brotherhood of Beta Kappa; and third, violating the honor code of Beta Kappa. Should Brother Valentine be found guilty of any one of these charges before the entire brotherhood, the brotherhood will vote on whether he should be expelled from our fraternity. This is a very grave and serious matter, and I will not have these proceedings taken lightly.” He looked at my accusers. “Do you wish your accusations to stand as they are, or modify them in any way? This is your final opportunity to end this.” His voice had a note of pleading in it, and I loved him for it. Chris was uncomfortable with all of this, obviously, and wanted it over.
Bobby rose. “I would like to add another accusation.” His voice quivered with outrage. “He hacked into my computer and deleted all of my term papers, all of my class notes, everything. I don't know how I'm going to pass this semester without that stuff!”
I stood. “I don't have the slightest idea what he's talking about.”
“You admitted it to me!” Bobby snapped.
“I never said I hacked into your computer,” I replied evenly. “As I recall, Bobby, I simply gave you some friendly advice about not leaving your computer on when you weren't using it, if you were connected to a wireless network. Advice, I might add, all of you would be wise to take.”
“My files are gone!” Bobby spluttered. “Youâyouâ”
“Do you have any evidence to back up your accusation, Brother Dunlap?” Chris asked.
“Well, no.” Bobby's face reddened. “Butâ”
“Then the accusation will not be added to the current charges,” Chris cut him off.
“Brother Morton, I would like the record to show that Brother Dunlap slandered me maliciously.” I bowed my head. “And that is the cornerstone of my defenseâthat all of this is a malicious and mean-spirited attempt by certain brothers to drum me out of the brotherhood. I have evidence I will present to the Executive Council of this conspiracy, and will prove to you that the mastermind behind all of this doesn't even have the courage to accuse me himself, but rather is such a coward that he got these three brothers”âI waved my hand at themâ“to do his dirty work for him, and that his motivation is not a concern for the brotherhood and its reputation, but rather a personalâand I might add, incredibly spitefulâvendetta against me. I would also add that this is most definitely conduct unbecoming in a brother of Beta Kappa and reflects very poorly on the brotherhood as a whole.”
A smile played at the corner of Chris's mouth. “Go on, Brother Valentine.”
“Thank you.” I smiled back at him. “This entire hearing has come about because of a video that was circulated electronically to all the brothers. I do not deny that I am in the video. I do not deny that the video is of me having sexual relations with another man, in the steam room of my gym, Body Quest Fitness Center. And I will further stipulate that perhaps such conduct is contrary to the code of honor all Beta Kappas are held to. However, this video was shot without my knowledge and circulated in an attempt to get me expelled from Beta Kappa.” I cleared my throat. “What happened in that steam room was an error of judgment on my partâI freely admit that. But what one of us has not made an error of judgment? Who hasn't done something that possibly was a violation of our fraternity standards? The difference is that
mine
was recorded without my knowledge and then circulated. If these charges are allowed to stand, and I am expelled, this sets a dangerous precedent for our chapter. Any brother with a grudge against another can simply record the first brother doing something, file charges against him, and get him expelled from the brotherhood, starting an incredibly vicious cycle, pitting brother against brother. Is this what any of us want? Is this what we want Beta Kappa to become?” I unzipped my backpack and removed the first folder. I handed each member of the Executive Council a piece of paper. “I would like to enter this document into the record. It's a copy of the blueprint of the floor plan of Body Quest Fitness Center. I have highlighted the location of a peephole in the wall between the storage room and the steam room. This is how the video was recorded, and an employee of Body Quest, named Robby Mackey, did it. I was able to trace the electronic signature on the video back to Mackey's cell phone. Mackey, if necessary, is willing to stand up in a court of law and state that he made the video at the instigation of Chad York.” I got out another file and passed out another piece of paper. “This is a copy of an e-mail from Brother Chad York to Brother Bobby Dunlap. It was Brother York, who has been sexually intimate with Robby Mackey, who convinced him to record me any time I was in the steam room, hoping I might do something indiscreet. Once Brother York had the video, he immediately e-mailed it to Brother Dunlap. Please note the text of the e-mailâwhere Brother York instructs Brother Dunlap to circulate the video to the entire brotherhood and states, â
For obvious reasons, I can't do it myself. ' ”
I turned and looked at Bobby, who'd gone white. “As we all know, it
was
Brother Dunlap who sent the video to everyone. I would add that the video was also sent to the manager at Body Quest. The other person on the video is my trainer, Jay Collins. As a result, Jay's employment was terminated, and the gym attempted to terminate my membership as well.”