Game Over (20 page)

“Hey, girl, where you been?” the receptionist asked me when I walked into the lobby.

“Just stayin’ out the way.”

The two of us chatted about old times.
As she mentioned certain names and moments, I realized that I missed that world. It had been such a part of my life for so long.

Raheem
and I headed back to the waiting area to wait for Slim. Something on the flat screen television caught my attention. I was facing it and talking to Raheem about it when I heard Slim’s heavily southern laced voice come from behind me. I turned around immediately.

I’m used to dealing with men. I’m used to talking to them. I’m never
threatened by their presence, no matter how rich or how successful. But I swear something I’d never felt in my life came over me as I saw what seemed like a seven foot giant standing in front of me. The feeling couldn’t be described. It seemed like a mixture of both nervousness and intimidation.

Slim wasn’t just
anyone
in the Hip Hop game. He was a
somebody
. Slim owned fifty percent of Cash Money Records, one of the hottest labels in the game. With his younger brother Birdman, Slim had sold millions of albums and had made hundreds of millions of dollars. He was a true power player in the industry.

Politely, I extended my hand to him and thanked him for the meeting. He took my hand and gave me a small grin. The feel of his hand in mine sent another unexplainable feeling through me. Damn, what the fuck was happening to me? I mean, real talk
, my pussy got moist.

The shit was crazy!

Slim wasn’t physically attractive to me at all. His complexion didn’t have any sort of golden glow to it. His frame was lanky, instead of muscular. He didn’t even have the cuts of an NBA player. His eyes were sort of bulging from their sockets. And as a mover and shaker in this industry, he didn’t have the hulking and menacing presence of Suge Knight or the confidently cocky and charismatic character of Jay-Z. But something,
not
the money, had me drawn to him.

Slim, on the other hand, didn’t show any interest in me. His smile had been merely out of polite
ness. It was all business with him. I’m a bad bitch if I must say so myself, but obviously he’d been around bad bitches ever since the millions started rolling in. Women as beautiful as me came a dime a dozen in his world.

Slim and I spoke business for a few hours then just kicked it until about four a.m. By then, I was ready to go. My days of hanging out in the studio until sun up were done. Slim gave me his number and exchanged good byes with myself and Raheem. Just before we left, Slim advised me to read some book
. I can’t remember the name of now. He said he had read it during a flight to Miami and that it made good reading while on his jet. The thought of being on his jet excited me but I didn’t show it. I simply told him I’d get the book and kept it moving.

Over the next few nights, Slim continued to keep it all about business as we spoke on the phone several times. He inquired about my past work and experience in the industry. That always seemed to turn into me discussing things like why I’d moved to
Miami, and who in the industry I’d dated. I kept it 100 with him, telling him the truth, knowing he probably knew the answers anyway. Gossip played a huge part in the industry. He didn’t seem to look down on me, at least he didn’t express it if he did. But I knew he considered me a gold digger. I didn’t care though. All that mattered was being able to handle my duties as Slim’s assistant.

Over the next few weeks, we talked more and more but he would never give me a direct answer about whether or not I had the job. It was starting to feel like he was stringing me along. Eventually, the weeks turned into a few months. Fed up, I finally gave him a salary offer. I needed to know what was up with the
position. He brushed it off, once again not giving me a concrete answer. It was obvious then he was playing games. Either I had it or I didn’t.

He wasn’t trying to hire me.

22
-
Always Grindin’

I began to question why I allowed men to monopolize my time and energy.
Although Slim had wasted my time, I continued to hang out with him. I don’t quite know why. I mean, it didn’t seem like he was going to hire me and he didn’t seem interested in fuckin’ me. I had no idea what was up.

While spending time with Slim, I got a chance to learn a lot about him; mainly that he was the complete opposite of what people would expect from a Hip Hop CEO. He was mature, didn’t party, had no kids and preferred to stay low key and behind the scenes.
Those things kind of turned me on about him. I mean, he was nowhere near as handsome as what I was used to but his personality and heart of gold made up for what he was lacking in the looks department. But despite feeling him, I couldn’t do it anymore. Spending time with him was affecting things between me and Roc. And since Slim wasn’t trying to give me the assistant position, I couldn’t fuck up the money train I was riding with Roc. I had no choice but to fall back from Slim.

N
ot long after discovering the panties at Roc’s, I got a call from my old roommate Tiana about a mutual friend, Lore’l, who was an aspiring rapper and who is now a cast member on Love and Hip Hop New York. I’d first met Lore’l in Miami a while back and liked her. She had that same ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude I had. She reminded me of myself; plus her rhyme skills were nice.

Anyway, Ti
ana said Lore’l needed financial help with her career. That’s when I realized why I had kept Roc’s lying ass around for so long after the car chase.
Money!
After discussing with Lore’l exactly what she needed, I presented it to Roc as a business opportunity that was sure to pay off due to my connections in the music industry. He went for it. From that point, he footed the bill on everything business related, including hotel rooms, promotions, and plane trips, with the expectation of getting a nice return on his investment when Lore’l’s career finally took off.

NOT!

Just like he’d played me, I was going to play him back. Once Lore’l got on, I was going to toss Roc a few measly racks and send him on his way. I was done with love and I was done with liars!

I went back to focusing on my new protégé, L
ore’l who was nice lyrically. The only problem was her personal life was mad fucked up. The way she went about things was backwards, especially regarding men, specifically famous athletes. She was more star struck than focusing on getting money out of them. She was pretty much fucking all these millionaires for free. I hated that about her.

At the time, L
ore’l was signed to a good friend of mine, Red Café. Not wanting to step on his toes, I told him I was taking her under my wing. I really wanted to help her succeed.

Shaking his head, Red said, “Winter, working with her won’t be an easy process. She ain
’t easy to work with, but good luck if that’s what you want to do.”

I told him I could handle it.

“If you say so,” he told me. “But just remember I warned you. She ain’t what you think.”

With that said, he walked away laughing like he knew something I didn’t. His loud laugh still rings in my head
to this day.

Thinking she couldn’t be as bad as he’d made her out to be, I went on with my plans, knowing she had the talent to make it and as long as I put everything I had into her, she’d be loyal and appreciative. Besides, she was hungry and I wanted to help. Not to mention someone else was footing the bill and we’d all benefit.

I was on my grind again with Lore’l hoping for the same success I’d had with Shonie. We’d been grinding hard for about six months when I received a call from Slim out of the blue. I was working in Tampa so I made the call short. I hadn’t meant to make it seem like I was shrugging him off, but my work had me busy at the moment so I told him I would get up with him when I got back to Miami.

Immediately after hang
ing up, just like the very first moment I’d met him, a strange feeling came over me. I realized that I missed talking to him. I had missed his presence. It compelled me to text him back immediately.

Damn I miss talking to you. Can’t wait to get back to
Miami.

The very next morning, I was back in the MIA around ten. I called him a little later, hoping his schedule would permit
him to see me. Thankfully, it did. We made plans to meet up at the studio. While there, I kicked it with both him and his driver. Once again, I brought up my salary offer.

Giving his driver a sideways look, Slim asked, “What you think, bruh? You think she’s cut for the team?”

The driver glanced at me and returned Slim’s look. Without answering the question, he simply laughed. I knew then I wasn’t getting the job.

After a few more months went by of us not really keeping contact, I decided to call him.

“Your dude kicked you to the curb, huh, so you calling me now?” he asked without even saying “Hello”.

Why would he care about my dude?

“You must like me or something if you’re questioning me about him,” I said. “Just say it.”

He did!

Slim finally admitted that the past several months of stringing me around about the job was nothing more than a reason for him to spend time with me. He admitted that he’d been interested in me from day one. We decided to meet up that evening and talk.

The evening was filled with the deepest and most straight forward conversation we’d ever had together. I let him know that if
the relationship was going to work out, I wasn’t for the games. I wanted us to work towards something serious. Fuck being a baby momma. I needed to be his only woman, possibly his future wife and I wasn’t settling for anything less. Slim agreed. He left me with the sense he was down for the same things. Believing him, I was looking forward to seeing how things would work out between us.

Man, was I in for a reality check.

Being with Slim wasn’t at all what I’d expected. Through sources he never revealed, he stalked me, always knowing exactly where I was and who I was with. The shit was creepy. He never wanted to go out, choosing to stay at home and watch television. He also
never
gave me money. I mean not even a single fuckin’ penny. Why was it so hard for him to spend a dime on me? Shit, I was honestly beginning to wonder if he was broke. And to add insult to injury…around that same time I happened to be watching Basketball Wives and saw an episode where Ashley Walker and Rafer Skip Alston were on the show together.

Yes, together.

Apparently they had been a couple all along, around the time that he lived in my spot in Harlem. Even when he was sending me five grand a month.

And when
I finally had sex with his ass.

Wow.

Just another time where deceit and lies had entered my life. I learned the hard way that’s what happens when you chase athletes and rappers. I was hurt, I can’t lie. Not because I wanted to be with him, but because he’d lied to me the entire time. I’d heard of things like that happening to other women, but me….Winter? I took the hit on the chin and moved on.

As time passed,
I focused more on Lore’l. She’d started boning this young NY rapper named Jae Millz who was signed to Cash Money. I had actually known him from back in the day. He was cool but as a new artist he had yet to release anything, so his financial situation was nonexistent. Once again, Lore’l was fuckin’ for free. Advising her to use him for connections in the game, I decided to just let it go and keep it moving. Besides, I thought it would be kind of cute; possibly like the Big and Lil Kim relationship or the Jay-Z and Foxy thing back in the day. It would help for promotion.

L
ore’l quickly fell in love with Jae and began to get side tracked. She started to put more into him than her own career and ignored my advice, which pissed me off. Here I was working my ass off. I felt like I was more interested in her success than she was. Shit, I was even having a difficult time getting her in the studio, which shocked me. The studio was supposed to be an artist’s sanctuary, especially a new artist.

Still, despite how hard I tried to give advice on the situation, my words went in one ear and out the other.

Shortly after the two got lovey dovey, the Maybach & Young Money tour started in Orlando. Lore’l flew from NY and I drove in from Miami. After having my mom pick her up from the airport, I met them both at The Amway Arena and called Slim to let him know I was going to be at the show. The last thing I wanted was for him to find out from someone else that I was there, especially if they saw me with Jae Millz. The shit would get super twisted. And I was definitely scared of how he would possibly take it. Being seen around with an up and coming artist could be misunderstood. False conclusions could be drawn. Slim didn’t answer so I sent him a text. Still, he didn’t respond but I knew he’d gotten the text.

After the concert I went backstage to use the bathroom and ran dead into Slim. Thank God I was alone. Like I was a groupie, his security swarmed around me. I just laughed and walked right into his arms. The two of us hugged. His tall lanky frame towered over me as the side of my face rested against his chest.

“I called you earlier,” I said, still in his arms.

Looking down at me, he said, “I didn’t get it.”

That was a blatant lie. He was half owner of a multimillion dollar empire. His cell phone was his lifeline. Checking his texts and messages was a must. He was playing games, I knew. He’d probably been hugged up with someone else when my text came through, or maybe he had a chick nearby. I didn’t trip though. I’d changed my mentality about men. If he wasn’t showing me complete love, I wasn’t dishing it out either.

After another hug, I told him I’d hit him up later, knowing most likely we’d spend the night together. Heading to the bathroom, I released a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. My heart was pounding. He truly had me that way. When the show was finally over, against my better judgment, I allowed L
ore’l to convince me to ride to the after party on a tour bus. It was a bad idea, a groupie move, but there was no way I was going to leave her alone in that environment.

The party was just what I’d expected. Groupies were all over the place, weed smoke clouded every one, music blared, liquor was guzzled. The bus was so loud I barely heard my phone ring. Seeing Slim’s name and number written across the screen, I dipped to the bathroom and closed the door, hoping to alleviate some of the noise. For a moment, I dreaded answering, knowing he was going to be mad. Finally I answered.

“Where you at?” he asked as soon as I pressed the phone to my ear.

“On my way to the after party.”

CLICK!

The line went dead, leaving my mouth wide open. Just as I’d known before I got on the bus, it was a bad idea. I knew Slim wasn’t going to like it. He wanted me far away from parties, like I was his property. It was always like that with him
, which was one thing I hated. It was always his way or no way at all. Despite how I felt, I still attempted to call him back. After he didn’t answer, I called his other two numbers but still got no answer. I even sent texts. Nothing worked. Disappointed, I tried to get Lore’l to leave, but she was consumed with Jae Millz. Eventually I cut the night short and spent it at my parents’ house.

The next morning, placing that night behind me, I hit L
ore’l telling her I would come through to pick her up so we could head back to Miami. It was time to work. I needed to get her in the studio. She didn’t answer. After several more calls, she still hadn’t answered. Things like this were becoming regular with her. I had to work and was back in Miami when I was finally able to reach her.

When she told me she was going to go with Jae Millz back to
Atlanta, I became furious. My sacrifices meant nothing to her. I was hurt. She just wanted to chase dick like a damn air head. Hearing the anger in my voice, she added that she also had to pick up some money from some NFL player. Those words were useless. I suspected she was lying. She wasn’t built that way. Getting money out of niggas wasn’t how she got down. She was queen of getting pennies out of men. Before I knew it, I slammed the phone down.

I was livid! Cursing like a sailor all over the place. She had no appreciation for what I was trying to do for her
and her career. Scotty Boi, a rapper signed to Maybach music at the time, just happened to be available to hear my complaints about Lore’l. He too had been tossing money into my girl’s project attempting to make her a sensation. When I told him that Lore’l was trying to follow some rapper to ATL, he lost it. He came over picked me up and drove me to Orlando to get her. On the way up he mentioned getting her into the studio as soon as we got back to Miami.

Unfortunately, once we got to
Orlando, there was still no talking sense to her. She didn’t quite understand or care about how much had been invested in her. Scotti was so angry, he snapped, “We need to get to work! Fuck chasing a damn nigga!”

Once again, she tried to run that shit about needing to get to
Atlanta to get the money from the NFL player. I suspected she was lying. If the player wanted her to have the money, he could send it Western Union or deposit it in her account. The truth was she just wanted to chase Jae Millz like an idiot. I understood the game. I had once been in that arena too. Fortunately, for me, my mindset had changed and I wanted to further myself and my career.