Authors: India Edghill
But Haman at last had entered my world again, and I possessed weapons he did not.
I am Chief Eunuch now; I am a person of high rank and great importance. I have power, and I have learned how to wield it.
And I can wait. I already have waited half my life. I can wait until Haman overreaches himself and I can bring him down to despair and pain.
For I did not simply wish Haman dead.
I wanted him to suffer. Nothing less would satisfy me.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
My new dwelling within the Women's Palace was two stories high and larger than Haman's fine house had been. Bedchamber, dressing chamber, servants' rooms. A reception hall many kings would have been pleased to claim. My own bath. A courtyard open to the sky. A garden. All of it had been Giti's. And now all of it was mine.
Mine, to do with as pleases meâfor so long as I please Amestris.
I could not rely on the Queen Mother's goodwill; someday she might decide I was no longer useful, and then she would discard me.
Or at least she will try to do so. Before that day dawns, I must ensure that she cannot.
But that problem I would face in a different hour. For this span of time, I would permit myself to take pleasure in what I had achieved. I walked slowly back through the rooms and passageways, pondering what I must do to make the Chief Eunuch's apartments truly mine. Already I had noted a lack I wished to remedy. I beckoned to the nearest young eunuch.
“I wish to meet with the best silversmith in Shushan.”
He bowed. “As my lord desires. When does my lord wish to speak with him?”
“At once; when else?” I smiled, to show I jestedâa small thing, but fearful servants are useless. I wanted those who served me to do so contentedly; I knew all too well the damage an unhappy servant could cause. Amestris might have elevated me to this high position to reward me, or to punish another; as a jest, or on a whim. Whatever her true reason, I intended to grasp and hold what she had so casually bestowed. There was no better place in all the empire for me.
Chief Eunuch.
Master of the king's women. Ruler of the Women's Palace. Only Queen Mother Amestris herself possessed more power than I.
For now.
What had been bestowed upon me could be withdrawn. I needed to become so strong that even the Queen Mother would think thrice before challenging me. That would take time, and cunning.
But I had both.
I was still daydreaming my way through the Chief Eunuch's apartments when the best silversmith in Shushan arrived. The messenger I sent had been swift and diligent; I must remember to reward him.
“What is my lord's desire?” the silversmith asked.
“A mirror. I desire you to create a mirror as tall and wide as I am, and to burnish it until it shines bright as the full moon.”
Delighted by such a lucrative commission, the silversmith promised me a wonder indeed. “Such a mirror has never been seen before,” he declared. “Why, you will be able to see your entire body all at once.” Then he began asking me questions, and taking notes upon his wax tablet. At last, satisfied he knew precisely what was required, he praised my wisdom and good taste, bowed low, and went away smiling.
As well he might. Such a mirror would cost the royal treasury dear; cost as much as a king's crown. I did not careâand if Amestris did, at least I would learn swiftly how to rate her promises.
The silversmith proved a true artist. He set the sheet of polished silver within a frame of ebony; silver stars adorned the midnight wood. My mirror shone bright as the full moon and reflected images clear and unwavering. I had the mirror placed in my reception hall, a tangible reminder that the Queen Mother favored meâand what that favor meant. I pretended not to notice when my servants and slaves paused to gaze into its brilliant depths. Even I found it hard to ignore such a matchless treasureâand the cost was indeed enough to buy at least one royal crown.â¦
Queen Mother Amestris never once mentioned my silver mirror.
Nor, to my great relief, did Amestris ever again demand my erotic skills. Although I had pleased her body, pleasure had not been her goal. She had learned what she needed to know: that I would do anything to gain what I desired. And I had learned the same of her.
Now we each knew the most important thing about the other.
Neither of us needed to repeat the experience.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Of course my sudden ascension to Chief Eunuch caused great disturbance throughout the vast maze of gardens, courtyards, gates, and palaces that constituted the palace of the King of Kings. All the women and eunuchs hastened to congratulate me and to bestow gifts upon me. I thanked them for their good wishes and their gifts, smiling upon them all equally.
And while no man might enter the Women's Palace unless the king himself granted that honor, courtiers sent me rich gifts and good wishes. Most of the gifts I set aside. But one offering, a pretty eunuch of twelve, I keptâa singular honor for the man who had sent him to me.
Haman.
I told myself I kept the boy because he would be a useful weapon against Haman, but I knew this was nonsense. I kept Hatach because he had clearly been terrified when he thought I would refuse to accept him, and I could not send anyone back into Haman's claws. It did not turn out as badly as it might, for Hatach proved industrious and good-natured, although he always had a nervous temperament, seeing threats in every shadow. Of course Haman prided himself on having obtained my favor, which might someday prove useful.
What I learned from Haman's gift proved even more useful, for it displayed Haman's contempt. He had made no attempt to discover what might truly please me; he had merely sent what he thought any eunuch must desire. Haman had sent the Chief Eunuch the gift of a pretty young eunuch just as he sent the Queen Mother the gift of a gaudy gold-and-lapis necklace. What else could a eunuch desire but a younger eunuch to play with? What else could a woman yearn for but jewels?
The Queen Mother, being far more clever than Haman, had troubled herself to discover what might delight me. On the day that I had been Chief Eunuch for a year, she sent me a pair of Salukis brought from Arabia, one pale as clear moonstone, the other dark as moonless night. She had taken heed of the hints I had dropped within the harem that in me, the Persian's love of dogs doubled.
Not so pleasing was the gift of a fine horse, a Nisean stallion with a coat as gold as a new-minted daric and big enough to carry me easily, along with a saddle and bridle with phoenixes tooled into the crimson leather. Amestris had also troubled herself to hunt me back from Daniel to Isqanqur, from Isqanqur to the Phoenix Garden to Lord Orodes, who had permitted a pretty eunuch to learn to ride a horse â¦
Queen Mother Amestris knew all this, and wished me to know that she knew. I thanked her for the stallion with bland face and utmost politeness. I only hoped she had not traced me back as far as Haman. If she had â¦
“A thousand thousand thanks, O queen.” I knelt and kissed her myrrh-scented feet. “Who else but you, Queen of Queens, would think of such a gift? Who else would know what it means to me?”
“Who else indeed.” Amestris's voice was smooth as cream.
I rose to my feet. “With my queen's permission, I will name the horse Phoenix.”
“If it pleases you ⦠Hegai. What do I care what name you choose for your stallion?” That was all she said, but it was more than enough.
So I knew my enemy's blindness, and my ally's shrewdness. They knew of me only what I wished them to knowâat least this was true for Haman. As for Amestris, I never for a moment forgot that she was far older than I, and had not become King Darius's most favored wife because her heart dripped honey. Amestris could play the sweet, gentle woman to great effect, but that was only one of many masks she donned at need.
She also played the game of favorites with great skill; I allowed myself to be a pawn in this game. But I refused to play it within my own realm. Within the Women's Palace, to the surprise of all and the consternation of many, I had no favorites. I treated all the women and eunuchs under my charge kindly, but none more so than another. Nor did I create quarrels and hard feelings by preferring one servant over another. The inmates of the Women's Palace did not know what to think of me.
They called me cold, ice-heartedânot to my face, of course, but my spies dutifully reported such unwary words to me. Because I did not blame them for reporting unflattering words or punish them for bringing unwelcome news, my spies gave me honest reports. Agents afraid of their employer's anger would offer any tale they thought would please.
What I demanded from my people and rewarded them for was the truth. Nothing less would serve my purposes.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Under my rule, the Women's Palace ran as smoothly as any place can when its very reason for being scarcely exists. Ahasuerus, King of Kings, was a childâa child who needed a loving mother, not a haremful of concubines.
Ahasuerus ran wild, spoiled by the palace servants and permitted every childish whim and folly by his mother. I knew someday I would need Ahasuerus's favor, when he became a man, and king in fact as well as name, so I tried to gain his liking. But Amestris had already taught him to be wary of fondness; that affection came with a price. So I settled for trying to engage his mind, which was in a fair way to being ruined by total indulgence.
I taught Ahasuerus to play chess. Once he realized I would not simply let him win, he set himself the task of learning.
At least,
I thought, as I watched the boy struggle to remember the rules before he moved a pawn,
at least he will have this.
Remembering all they had taught me, I took Ahasuerus to visit Daniel and his two companions. Once.
For I returned to my own rooms to find a message waiting from Queen Mother Amestris. It consisted of only one word.
No.
I never took Ahasuerus to Daniel's house again.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
The day King Ahasuerus turned fourteen, Amestris summoned me. She wasted no time on pleasantries. “The king is to marry. Ready the Queen's Palace for his wife.”
I bowed. “Of course, O queen. May I ask what the royal lady favors?”
“The royal lady is Princess Vashti of Babylon, and as she is barely ten years old, I doubt she has any taste at all as yet. Do as seems good to you.”
I hesitated, then asked, “And for the Queen Mother? Whereâ”
“Shall I reside?” Amestris smiled, never a reassuring sight. “I shall move to the Red Palace. You need not concern yourself, for I shall arrange matters there myself. You will have quite enough to keep you busy, for at the beginning of Tevet I go to Babylon to fetch the princess. You will have, I think, three months to make the Queen's Palace ready for her.”
Thinking hard, I bowed myself out of her presence.
Vashti of Babylonâwhy her? Of courseâ
Princess Vashti's grandfather had been the last king of Babylon; marriage to her would link King Ahasuerus to an ancient royal lineage. And since the princess was only ten years oldâ
Amestris can mold her into a toy queen, just as she has shaped Ahasuerus into a toy king.
Now all I need do is completely re-create the Queen's Palace to suit the taste of a girl I know nothing about. In three months.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
I sometimes went to sit with Daniel and Samamat just to bask in their tranquility. Now I desperately needed that soothing atmosphere.
Only Daniel and Samamat lived in the blue-tiled house now, for Arioch had died three years ago. To no one's surprise, Daniel had married Samamat. What surprised me was how much I missed him; when I sat in Daniel's garden, I still expected Arioch to wander out of the house and make one of his mocking comments. Sometimes I even thought I heard him. Today was one of those times.
“The harem is full of discontent.” I turned the cup I held in my hands, wondering if an answer lay in the wine. I had been Chief Eunuch for five years the day I went seeking solace in Daniel's garden. I did not know my world was about to change utterly.
“The harem is full of discontented women. Sell all the women and buy the king a fast horse. At least he'd ride that.”
Yes, that is what Arioch would have said. Oddly, his ghost always said what I wished to say but could not utter.
“Well of course it is,” Samamat said. “Don't spill that, Hegai, the stain will never come out of that silk.”
“Yes, of course it is, and it's only going to get worse.” I took a deep breath, and then a long swallow of the wine. I had come here today knowing I would reveal this, and I didn't bother asking Samamat and Daniel to swear not to repeat my words. I knew they would not.
“Hegai? Going to get worse?” Daniel prompted, and Samamat added, “Why?”
I set the wine cup down. “Because the king is to be married. Amestris has chosen a wife for him.”
“Butâthe king is barely fourteen!” Samamat said. “How old is this wife?”
“And more to the point, who is she?” Daniel asked.
“She's Princess Vashti of Babylon,” I said, “and she's ten years old.”
None of us spoke for long minutes. I heard birds chattering in the garden's trees and the soft hum of insects in the flowers. And again I seemed to hear Arioch's mocking voice:
“Oh,
that's
going to work out well. I'd move to Memphis if I were you. I hear there's great scope for eunuchs in Egypt.”
The silence weighed heavy; Samamat took my hand, laced her fingers through mine in silent comfort. I looked at our entwined hands and saw hers had the thickened joints and fragile skin of old age.
“You're right,” Daniel said at last. “It's going to get worse.”
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
A certain tension vanished when Amestris left for Babylon. My days were full, as I had to banish all signs of Amestris's tenancy from the Queen's Palace and create instead a royal bower for its new occupant. Not knowing any of her tastes, I worked half-blind, but I did my best to create a domain such a very young lady might enjoy. Anything she disliked could easily be altered to please her.